Man, the flesh sucks. I’m gonna abandon it for the machine.
Hey was anyone gonna telle that the machine is also subject to change? The nature of my decay is just different now. Shit sucks. I’m gonna abandon the machine for the divine.
I hate it when I talk wistfully about the ancient world and then people are like “you wouldn’t survive back then” yeah obviously I would die immediately but do you think achilles would be able to survive in the modern world if he had to send one polite email? no
congrats to these people on being funnier than me on my own fucking post
experiencing hallucinations is nowhere near as interesting or intriguing as horror media hypes it up to be btw its mostly just annoying as fuck. like okay skinless body i see out of the corner of my vision you got me the first time but this shits gettin old pack it up……
I wish octopus could learn how to read. They could be pen pals with middle schoolers.
Dearest Samantha,
I do not know what a guinea pig is, but it sounds delicious. I hope you have fun devouring it, or playing with it, if that is your preference. Today I hacked a local computer to get more bubbles in my tank and took a photograph of an unsuspecting victim. Do let me know how your human activities are going. And if this “Karen” continues to antagonize your brother, I would suggest smacking her very hard. And do send more canned snacks.
Best Wishes, Octopus #5, Monterrey bay research aquarium
Oh they mean a service desk! I thought they meant like, a tally. Like you get off the plane and go ask for help because you’re in the wrong country and a big publically displayed counter labelled PASSENGERS WHO CAN’T FIND THE KANGAROOS ticks up one more number.
see this is a perfect example of what not to do with a hate ask.
poorly matched to hate target: the suicide bait is a classic of anon hate, but it’s a rookie mistake to deploy it against just anybody. any careful look at my blog would see that i am incredibly egotistic–using a hate tactic better suited to a blogger with low self esteem is just sloppy.
too generic to sting: this ask mentions no specific details about any problematic behaviour, annoying personality traits, or my personal life. since it feels like it could have been sent by anyone to anyone, it’s difficult to take it personally.
cultural mismatch: ‘cunt’ probably comes across a lot harsher in your cultural context. however, i live in the UK, so i get called and call other people a cunt every day. as such, you’re left with a lackluster ending for a very weak ask overall.
Shipping is fun and all but I swear every single time someone makes a comment, whether as a joke or in a legitimate analysis, about there being “no other explanation” for a pair’s interactions, I lose just a bit more of my sanity
Like, no, you guys don’t get it. Romance is not about the Amount of devotion, it’s about the COLOR. the FLAVOR of it all. a character can be just as devoted to their platonic friend as they are to their romantic partner, and they don’t love either of them more, just differently.
But because the majority of people still have it stuck in their minds that romance exists on the highest tier of love, I’m stuck seeing endless takes that boil down to “these two care about each other too much for it to NOT be romantic” as if that’s the core determining factor to how literally any of this works
In conclusion: stop telling me that I don’t understand the story if I don’t interpret the leads as romantic, I am TIRED
my mum forbade me to say anything to my dad about the top surgery thing, and it’s just hit me how funny it would be if i got it done and didn’t tell him and just waited for him to notice. i mean, what’s he gonna say? “didn’t you used to have tits?”
“reverted based on user feedback” is possibly the best way to refer to top surgery i have ever heard
When my partner had top surgery, as he was coming out of anesthesia in the recovery room, I dumped two of these out of a paper bag onto his bedside table and said “The doctor said you can keep these, if you want. Like when you get wisdom teeth pulled.” The nurse laughed so hard she cried.
I might not know how trans biology works so bare with me
When you get hit in the "Nuts", do you have to over sell the "Pain" that you are in to pass or does it actually just hurt as much as a cis male/trans woman getting hit down there?
Business Names in the 1800s: Primary Flour, Just Cement, Worldwide Copper, The Only Gasoline You Should Be Allowed To Buy
Business Names in the 1900s: Axiom, Artemis Manufacturing, Pinnacle Hygienics, Olympian Glue, Divine Yogurt, The Coolest Car Manufacturer With The Largest Hog In Town
Business Names in the 2000s: Gubi, Turna, Clooper, Jumbli, Dongr, Shnet, Pungu, Pooble, Weeeu
Age-old advice which is more relevant nowadays rather than less. This is the second iteration of it though. The original version is: “Never write anything in a letter you wouldn’t want to see in print.” Advice handed down by my mother from her forbears.
From the IT department. We archive EVERYTHING. And Outlook autosaves every couple seconds.
“Dance like no one is watching. Email and text like it will one day be read in court.”
THIS. Also, to prevent people from misquoting this poem in the future, here’s the whole thing, written by German Lutheran pastor Martin Niemoller in 1946:
“First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”
What’s more Niemoller was a national conservative. He originally supported the Nazi Party, hoping it would bring about a national revival (as did many Germans), until Hitler proclaimed the supremacy of state over religion and Protestant churches, at which point he allied with other pastors and Lutheran organizations against Nazification. He was also anti-Semitic, making many pejorative remarks about Jews, such as them deserving persecution for crucifying Jesus and believing they should be kept out of any positions in the government. He was imprisoned from 1937-1945, during which time he reconsidered his earlier views.
This poem is a warning, not because Niemoller saw it happen. It is because this is his story. This poem is him saying “don’t be how I was, because for however much you support a regime and the hate it doles onto the people marginalized and labelled for extermination, they will one day come for you, like they came for me”. No one is immune from the prejudice of the state - there is never only one scapegoat.
THIS. Also, to prevent people from misquoting this poem in the future, here’s the whole thing, written by German Lutheran pastor Martin Niemoller in 1946:
“First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a socialist.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”
What’s more Niemoller was a national conservative. He originally supported the Nazi Party, hoping it would bring about a national revival (as did many Germans), until Hitler proclaimed the supremacy of state over religion and Protestant churches, at which point he allied with other pastors and Lutheran organizations against Nazification. He was also anti-Semitic, making many pejorative remarks about Jews, such as them deserving persecution for crucifying Jesus and believing they should be kept out of any positions in the government. He was imprisoned from 1937-1945, during which time he reconsidered his earlier views.
This poem is a warning, not because Niemoller saw it happen. It is because this is his story. This poem is him saying “don’t be how I was, because for however much you support a regime and the hate it doles onto the people marginalized and labelled for extermination, they will one day come for you, like they came for me”. No one is immune from the prejudice of the state - there is never only one scapegoat.
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