hes literally having a mental breakdown over how much everyone hates him and how he hates himself too but okay
???? he’s literally just a baby pig trying to survive??? like I guess charlotte writing stuff to trick people into protecting him could be seen as “manipulative” but she’s doing it to keep him alive and it’s not like he even asked her to do it. did this person even read the fucking book or do y'all just want to hate Wilbur because he has a healthy relationship with a caring mother figure?
this is the best day of my entire fucking life
Y'all are getting emotionally manipulated in Minecraft?
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i was so ready to accept that somebody started an analysis of c!wilbur with ‘hes just a baby pig’
lifehack: when you see a Take One candy bowl in a restaurant, wait until noones looking and shovel candy into your pockets. god may judge you but his sins outnumber your own
“God may judge you but his sins outnumber your own.” We really need to start collecting and sourcing these Potent Quotables.
no thats. thats literally the homestuck quadrant system
What? What ?? What ???
WHAT THE FUCK IS HOMESTUCK
At this point I’m starting to think it’s just an internet ARG where people collectively make shit up to fuck with us
hey notajerusalemcricket, i need you to understand that at one point tumblr DID actually fake a whole children’s television show using the Squiddles from homestuck so… the opposite of your reblog has already happened
hm ?
Homestuck is the demonic ghost Haunting the old decrepit House of Tumblr, and new tumblrites are the unsuspecting buyers who thought the house was “quaint” and “full of charm” and never questioned why it was dirt cheap
The homestuck fandom has over 1.1 million ships please name me a fandom that has more
I may.
Naruto, haveing 858 characters, (supporting, main, villan, ect,) Has a total pairing combination of 14904014355327162476555290414328719424370128465209622513945548240847934453517987532148538153540680560000064734232283446435089427096149665602683207094084076919437568780781674533990674708553852908863094935934425681787866290855836589989534154069534260902769719177005700713150643170742912223567235767456946909998701714246561169357179794660009372216790712635927908803061483068757053443642328292140398525196245951616698273363942063983865442455468091814841853923197406628460446564578577231324887109364979694973483656067013970418278117444265651463246673600056740864376135532788898566484074712359391719819620226390006681808672718208241770714822933732439310720565548522984043584729897267752370521638075370533586310537591285401411978299062149197718011828543676493608251270910659455861816163839586663800739929111942602252170879317848639815066626069268423494994624712256656800764006924083618292789440318736919989956450388885100494577677227359046085594775826159464156994326712059008200411898532440682019645143888162872496534840053414360829011371341382197001749347773067125463151516101757270551449243805990219063787628122745386098779331417184953541411802153653313952394616555575130883772093666250057443240402551950849226868816714489789910496541429688574585166182747099742256471834589658552207637639962661377426983147653440082047963985381203919376287055656960042865075997942802285209992540074280690592325450547459912432340064404723474682537642453042155553062152161257609838041689124001588004584666505844064756521527467629412489118483447368895281965982832185962135332027885614216230737968557017497845060578576363400418280022372768490591414615098722832599773244521811771479227182744227498528022201217031852503426806952669973497170997422351792858644688160968923410100223999281164522777904218815486835571438106050182763260271202774859181019721314202128358815403704013678664490612692608908463548984227703422501687783158265176454931216194465026708087400038400000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 And that’s not ENTIRELY accurate. Now, the number of pairings doesn’t make a series great, its the story itself that makes it great. However, if a shipping war were to break out between Homestuck and Naruto, if we went by the number of possible ships, Naruto would win. By a LANDSLIDE.
There is 840 Homestuck characters, not including alternate timeline versions of characters, and tricksters, and many others, and that is only listing the characters who have a full wiki page. Not including selfcest, there are an infinite amount of ships, because you can not only ship them in love, but in Homestuck, you can ship them in moiraillegiance, kismesitude, and auspisticeship, which is OT3s. Naruto may have 18 extra characters, but we have four seperate ways we can ship each ship! And for auspisticising, each three of the characters involved can play the part of the auspistice! Homestuck has infinite ways to ship, and sorry, but would beat Naruto.
i ship homestuck <3< naruto now
I just thought I’d point this out… The number of ships the Naruto fandom claims to have is absurd and clearly a gross miscalculation.
For the sake of my mind, we’re going to assume that in all cases the nature of consent and requisition does not play a factor in the ship, but rather if two characters are together in a certain kind of relationship then that is representative of that ship as a statistic. We are also going to exclude 3-ways, and only acknowledge P as a variable represented by a number other than 2 when concerning an Auspistic relationship.
If we establish our variables to be {N = the number of characters in a fandom}, {P = the number of participants involved in a particular paring} and {S = the number of romantic ways to ship any characters}, then the formula for calculating the number of ships in a fandom ought to adhere to follows:
((N^P) - N)*S if we chose not to include self-cest (which in this case we will given that Naruto and Homestuck are both prone to some form of duplication shenanigan or another) making our final equation (N^P)S
(858^2)1 = 736,164 This number represents the total number of potential ships within the Naruto fandom where N = 858 and P = 2 and S = 1
Now when we look at Homestuck, the numbers stack up differently because we have to account for all four of the romantic quadrants. Because The Auspistic quadrant will have a different P value than the other three quadrants, it will be calculated separately.
This gives Homestuck just over half a billion potential ships where as Naruto doesn’t even reach one million.
This doesn’t even begin to take into account ships involving quadrant vacillation which would more than quadruple the number of ships in the Homestuck fandom.
Next time check your basic math before you post.
ouch
reblogging purely because this person went ahead and made a shipping equation and that is just awesome
this is the only math problem i will ever appreciate.
There was actually a really popular book about being pretty close with 12 people. I won’t tell you how it ends, but let’s just say the main character is in a better place now.
I don’t know who Megan Kelly is but I wanna piss her off
dis bitch
“Verifiable fact” 😭😂
I’d PISS ON HER tbh
btw Saint Nicholas, whom Santa Claus is based on, was a black guy
and we don’t know exactly what jesus looked like, but here’s an artistic reconstruction of an average 20-something male from his ethnic group at the time
DOES THIS LOOK FUCKING WHITE TO YOU
I want this post everywhere
jesus was represented more or less accurately as an ethnically jewish arab man up until the reign of pope alexander vi, in the late 15th century. since he was viciously persecuting roman jews during this time, alexander wanted to make them less sympathetic to the public, and did so in part by ordering that portrayals of jesus be based off of his son, cesare borgia.
the reason “jesus is white” is because someone purposefully attempted to alter the perception of history to benefit his goal of persecuting a targeted ethnic group.
Oh hey it’s back on my dash perfect! I was just thinking of this the other day!
OHOHOHO wow the Korean alphabet is awesome. The people who designed it were geniuses and were obviously incredibly schooled in the morphology and phonology of their language. HNNGGG
wow
여러분 모두 한국어 쓰세요 한국어 좋음
한국어, 한글은 보면 맨날쓰는거지만 볼수록,쓸수록 예뻐요..참으로 곱구나’3’♥
ㅇ어머 (감동
짱 이쁜 한국어 쓰세요 여러분
굳
신기하게 가르치는군요 보고 신기했다
FUN FACT!
IT WASN’T JUST ANY OLD DUDE WHO DECIDED, “HEY I WANT TO CREATE A KOREAN ALPHABET.”
IT WAS KING SEJONG, WHO ORDERED HIS ROYAL SCHOLARS TO CREATE THIS ALPHABET SO READING AND WRITING COULD BE ACCESSIBLE TO EVERYONE, EVEN THE PEASANTS. IT WAS PURPOSELY DESIGNED TO BE EASY TO LEARN.
SO SHOUT OUT TO KING SEJONG, WHO REALIZED BEFORE MANY OTHERS THE IMPORTANCE OF UNIVERSAL LITERACY.
Oh hey it’s back on my dash perfect! I was just thinking of this the other day!
OHOHOHO wow the Korean alphabet is awesome. The people who designed it were geniuses and were obviously incredibly schooled in the morphology and phonology of their language. HNNGGG
wow
여러분 모두 한국어 쓰세요 한국어 좋음
한국어, 한글은 보면 맨날쓰는거지만 볼수록,쓸수록 예뻐요..참으로 곱구나’3’♥
ㅇ어머 (감동
짱 이쁜 한국어 쓰세요 여러분
굳
신기하게 가르치는군요 보고 신기했다
FUN FACT!
IT WASN’T JUST ANY OLD DUDE WHO DECIDED, “HEY I WANT TO CREATE A KOREAN ALPHABET.”
IT WAS KING SEJONG, WHO ORDERED HIS ROYAL SCHOLARS TO CREATE THIS ALPHABET SO READING AND WRITING COULD BE ACCESSIBLE TO EVERYONE, EVEN THE PEASANTS. IT WAS PURPOSELY DESIGNED TO BE EASY TO LEARN.
SO SHOUT OUT TO KING SEJONG, WHO REALIZED BEFORE MANY OTHERS THE IMPORTANCE OF UNIVERSAL LITERACY.
admittedly my understanding of las vegas may be a bit distorted by only seeing it in movies and also when people complain about it online, but it seems that it’s some kind of city-sized torture device where the spectre of advertising is ritualistically summoned into an orb in the middle of a very hot desert and then it attacks everyone living there all of the time while they gamble to keep their mind off it
doesn’t seem like a real place is all. seems a little heavy handed.
just clicked around on google street view for a minute and had to close it because I saw a parking lot so large it started to bend over the horizon and touched both sides of the panorama
Sun belt urban design is a unique hell on earth and Las Vegas may be the most horrifying example of that kind of settlement.
she knocked that smug look off my face but luckily i was wearing a second, smaller smug look underneath
This post is so incredibly dumb and everytime I come across it I just can’t help but laugh. This site is just magical. Where else will you get this nonsense?
i think it’s important for most people’s mental health to have a space where they can safely and unashamedly express being horny and i don’t mean milquetoast tongue-in-cheek “oh step on me mommy” jokes or whatever i mean capital h Horny
i guess i forget people view kinks as this secret thing you cannot talk about ever unless you are actively having sex because learning what my platonic friends are into has never changed my opinion of them besides making me think they’re cooler
i know that when a book describes dragons picking up their riders they probably mean scruffing them by the neck in their mouths like a kitten, but i always imagine something like this
Don’t leave this in the tags. It’s too funny not to be enjoyed by everyone
what happened to tumblr’s collective boyfriend. did we break up
Yeah… I’m sorry about that guy. We dipped him in a sugar glaze and left him out for the picnic…by the time we finished the tuna sandwiches, the ants got to him. Guess that’s just life.
hey quick test, reblog or like this if you DONT think neopronouns are stupid im trying to prove a point to my sister and her partner
for context my sister is a binary trans lesbian dating a genderfluid lesbian and today she came up to me saying that her and her partner as two trans people have both decided neopronouns are stupid
@probablyautism thnx for remembering the weirdest tumblrina on the planet. also can u explain to ur local grandma what she has to do(apologies are afoot)
So tap on the link above my character and simply make your own it could be an OC or you or your sona, anything.
Wild how I keep returning to this goddamn post. @queermarzipan ball’s in your court babe.
It may still need help getting to 200,000.
Here’s Aziraphale in disguise:
And here’s a backstage shot of the Gentlemen in 1941 suits:
@tothechaos will you print and eat the entire post? If so, here is a long joke. Don’t choke:
A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people.
At the trial, the man is found guilty of multiple murders and sentenced to death.
Before he faces his sentence, he’s offered a last meal, and asks for a single banana, which is given to him.
The next day, he’s led to the electric chair. They strap him in, pull the switch, and… nothing happens.
There’s never been a failure before. But because you cannot punish a person twice for the same crime, the court is forced to let him go free.
Within a week’s time, naturally, the man, who is obsessed with trains, goes and steals another one.
He doesn’t care that he can’t drive it or that he failed catastrophically before; he is obsessed with trains and his only desire is to operate one. As before, he crashes it, and kills several people.
Again, he stands trial, and again, he is sentenced to death, showing no remorse, only delight that he got to operate the train.
His last meal request is a single banana. When he goes to the chair, the executioner pulls the switch, but nothing happens. He goes free again.
The train-obsessed maniac, once more on the loose, wastes no time in hijacking a train and crashing it.
His trial is speedy, because this has already happened twice, and he is sentenced to death.
They ask him what he’d like for his last meal. “A single banana,” he says.
“Oh, no you don’t, you son of a bitch. We’re on to you, now. We know all about your little banana trick, and you’re not escaping this time!”
The guards refuse his request, and instead serve him a standard last meal of steak, potatoes, and berry cobbler.
The next morning they strap him into the electric chair, pull the switch, and… nothing happens.
“Did you give him the banana?” demands the head guard.
“No, sir! He asked for the banana but we didn’t give it to him, we swear!” says one of the guards.
Turns out the banana had nothing to do with anything. He was just a really bad conductor.
Quick! Gordon Ramsey has tasked you to come up with a new recipe with a rather special ingredient: ‘this trainwreck of a Tumblr post printed out on paper’. You don’t have much time as the exquisite guest will enter the doors of your fancy establishment the moment this post hits 200k notes. Come up with a recipe. Please provide detailed instructions.
Chaos Course Set Meal
Bespoke 9 course meal meant to be enjoyed by @tothechaos
Foreword:
As tasked by the prolific Gordan Ramsey, this 9 Course endeavour will feature the post in its entirety segmented into 9 delightfully ornate, unreasonably complex yet delectably unparalleled dishes. In the following, we’ll see how to prepare each of these dishes.
Course One
Dish name: 10k notes of Hubris
10k Notes of Hubris is a simple risotto with saffron infusion and forest mushrooms, topped with shavings of the top 9th piece of this post, printed in full colour, regular stock. Due to the nature of a 9 course setting, it is wise to start with a simpler dish.
Ingredients (serves four people):
1 teaspoon of saffron
300g carnaroli rice
50g extra virgin olive oil
20g butter
5g shallots
1l vegetable broth
parsley (to taste)
100g porcini mushrooms
80g portobello mushrooms
100g brown mushrooms
5g truffle oil
5g lemon peel and lemon juice
30g parmesan cheese
thyme (a dash)
5g garlic
A pinch of salt and pepper
The first 9th of this post, printed in full colour with regular stock.
Method:
In a saucepan, pour the oil and the chopped shallot(s), then add the rice and saffron and toast
Pour the broth a little at a time and cook slowly. Allow to cook before adding salt and black pepper. Stir in butter, grated parmesan cheese, chopped parsley, truffle oil, lemon juice and peel.
In a separate saucepan, cook the mushrooms with oil, garlic, thyme, salt and black pepper.
Presentation:
At the base of the dish pour the risotto, complete with forest mushrooms and basil leaves. Shave the printed top 9th of the post and sprinkle on top. Drizzle a dash of olive oil before serving.
The next dish and recipe of this 9 course meal, complete with the next 9th of the post printed and incorporated, will be presented by another chef.
i don’t what’s more wild to me, how much we are all working on giving someone ink poisoning or learning that @writing-prompt-s has @one-time-i-dreamt ’s phone number
I have been summoned many, many times
This post is already one of the most epic I have ever seen. Keep going!
The tumblr post equivalent of the fall of ceasar. Well can’t miss my turn with the knife.
It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied “i don’t know i’ve never heard these words in that order” and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn’t even that funny
at my old job i had a coworker who was tired and made a coffee with like 6 or 8 shots of espresso and i just casually went up to them like “are you trying to meet god?” and not only was this absolutely hilarious to them but they brought it up in future conversations they thought it was so funny but to me this was just as casual as saying “woah that’s a lot of coffee”
Being funny on Tumblr and then going to be funny in real life is like traveling to a foreign country and baby the currency exchange rate is biased in your favor
co worker bought three redbulls and I said “oh you never want to have a three redbull kinda day” and i genuinly think it’s the funniest thing she ever heard in her life. it’s been months and she still says that, “its a three redbull kinda day”. she calls me the funniest person she knows and either she has never met anyone else who uses tumblr or I truly got autism swag
bunch of court jesters smoking in the alleyway complaining that the nobility will laugh at anything and yearning to go down to the globe theatre together
