love that period in the late 2000s and early 10s when being able to competently use google was considered arcane nerd knowledge
This vanished not because everyone learned how to use google competently, but because google degraded so badly using it competently is no longer possible.
Thinking about when I worked at a shitty restaurant + one night it was just me + 3 other women on closing shift, so some guy came in the back and waved a knife around, presumably for money but I’m not actually certain, bc he was met with the bartender holding a much bigger knife, a tiny teenager wielding a cast iron pan, an elderly woman holding up a crockpot of clearly boiling water, and me, turning on the meat slicer with eye contact for maximum effect. He left, but the moral of the story is not girl power or whatever, it’s just. Why the fuck would you threaten a room full of underpaid and sleep-deprived blue-collar workers surrounded by lethal weapons.
Even ignoring the quantity of workers or weaponry, I think there’s something special about specifically
I hate how when you add ANY amount of new liquid to a boiling pot it immediately goes dead silent like…. Oh. You’re here 😐. The water molecules looking at you like
FOLKS, PLEASE…DO YOUSELVES A BIG BIG FAVOR AND STOP USING TURBOTAX! IT IS USELESS NOW!!!
THE IRS website will let you fill out and file your return THERE ON THE IRS SITE. You pay like $12 for the actual electronic filing process, and THAT’s IT!
Unless you have tremendous amounts of Schedule D stock shit, TurboTax is NOTHING BUT A RIPOFF!!!
The IRS website is EXCELLENT. They allow you to look up your past returns, and have every bit of information you MIGHT POSSIBLY NEED!
FUCK TURBOTAX!
LIBERATE YOURSELF FROM IT!!!!!!!
Friendly reminder as well that if you’re making less than $66,000 a year, you don’t need to pay to file your taxes and also all tax-paying softwares (eg rhymes with FurboFax) have a free filing option hidden in their websites.
if someone told me their pronouns were attack/helicopter I would just use them
if attack’s serious then attack’s probably the funniest person on earth. if not then attack’ll have to tell you attacks actual pronouns. there’s no losing
Pardon me friend, but I do believe you have misconjugated this particular set of pronouns in your penultimate sentence. In most cases, the slash between words indicates a nominative vs oblique case (cf he/him).
Now, giving only two versions of the pronoun does make it difficult to extrapolate the possessive form (cf he/him/his, which gives us nominative/dative and accusative/possessive). However, lacking any other information, let us assume that attack/helicopter declines similarly to the pronoun “she,” which has but two forms, plus a possessive adjective formed by adding -s to the oblique form. To whit:
Attack = nominative (cf “she”)
Helicopter = oblique cases (cf “her”)
Helicopters = possessive adjective (cf “hers”)
Thus, your penultimate sentence would properly read “If not, then attack’ll have to tell you helicopters actual pronouns.”
Attack will appreciate you getting helicopters pronouns right
One absolutely hilarious part of human existence is the repeated incidents of spicy bananas. People who have lived their entire lives up to this point just assuming that a specific fruit or vegetable is supposed to taste bitter, tangy, or spicy, having no fucking idea that all this time, they’ve been allergic to this plant. Because how would they have known? You learn what things taste like by tasting them, nobody’s going to tell you that bananas are supposed to be one of the mildest flavours out there. And people already eat so many things that taste hot, bitter, tangy and tart! Because they like how that kind of thing tastes like!
You can just happily much on a plant, thinking “ah, this angry plant tastes sharp because it hates me. Much like all the other sharp angry plants that people eat because they like the sharp”, and it wouldn’t cross their mind to think that the plant just hates you, specifically.
This is sitting on the shelf of human experiences riiiight next to people who don’t realize they’re colorblind.
My best friend’s husband didn’t realize he was colorblind until after they were married in their mid-twenties and she watched him run a stop sign that was in front of a big bush. He’d lived his entire life not knowing. So when they did some tests and realized “hey, you’re super colorblind,” he got to thinking, it’s X-linked, right? Which means it had to have come from Mom’s side of the family, so he started digging and asked his mom’s dad, and Grampa was like “Well that would explain a lot, I suppose. I kind of thought your grandma was just pulling my leg about the tomatoes.”
Because Grandma had apparently banned him early on from picking the tomatoes in the garden because he was constantly coming in with unripe ones, and he thought she was just being super nitpicky about it. This was a lifelong family joke, that Grandpa couldn’t tell a ripe tomato to save his life, and nobody ever stopped to wonder if maybe he and the grandson who routinely colored the grass red on his drawings might have something going on with their ability to see red and green as distinct colors.
i thought aloe vera gel was SUPPOSED TO burn your skin. like how rubbing alcohol burns when applied to a cut. figured that everyone else was just better at gritting their teeth and bearing the full body aloe sting than i was. i just didn’t feel like the stinging was worth the mild healing properties aloe had.
yeah… turns out it’s NOT supposed to burn and i was just allergic to aloe
STORY TIME!!!!!!!
My husband comes from a “weird” family. Like, the whole county knows. “He’s a total weirdo. AAAH THAT’S HIS LAST NAME THAT EXPLAINS IT OKAY NO PROBLEM GO FLY FREE DUDE WE LOVE YOU!!” The family’s just a bunch of freaks, like the Addams Family meets the Beverly Hillbillies. I ADORE them.
It was celebrated because they’re so valuable to the local community. This one sells meticulously grown veggies at the farmer’s market, then hisses at you for suggesting they wear soemthing that isn’t tie-dyed. That kid was in kindergarten before she said her first word, and that’s cool because her older sister translated for her NO THANK YOU TEACHER WE DO NOT NEED A DOCTOR THAT IS NORMAL FOR THIS FAMILY GO AWAY. She’s got two quiet kids of her own now and WE STILL DO NOT NEED A DOCTOR GO AWAY. That uncle knows everything there is to know about every car engine ever, and he never wears shoes with laces because he literally never worked out how to tie them (He’s 60). He’s also the top mechanic in his town and makes serious dough that put his super-smart daughter through college, and now she’s an ace veterinarian who pterodactyl screams at acrylic sweaters and keeps everyone’s pets alive. I shit you not, the family matriarch gets excited for tax season every year and begs everyone to bring her their taxes so she can MATH at them. It’s her freaking hobby.
Whatever. They’re in OUR family. It’s totally normal for us. The family’s just full of freaks, that’s all. We encourage our people to go with their strengths and use their skills to make our little corner of the world a nicer place to live in, then teach them how to manage the difficult parts of the world because we all had to learn to do it ourselves. “Because this family’s full of people just as freaky as you. You’re one of us.”
No, most of them don’t go to college. It’s rural Illinois, of course they don’t. Lots of them end up in specialized trades, like electricians or farmers, and they always kick ass at it. They tend towards jobs that require a lot of focus, and attention to detal, and very specific, in-depth knowledge that is almost useless outside of whatever field they’re in. We’re mostly spread between two or three small towns in Illinois, and I do not think these three towns would function without my husband’s family fixing and growing everything they do.
One of our cousins’ kids got diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder a few years ago. His now-ex-wife insisted that something was wrong and that our cousin was a jerk for not caring enough to notice. The family reacted with “He’s fine, it’s normal, we all did that when we were his age… wait… shit… what do you mean it’s genetic?”
It turns out that like 70% of my husband’s side of the family is autistic as fuck. We’re talking about grandmothers. Uncles. Cousins. People are in their 70s just now figuring out why they are how they are.
They’re just so famously weird in our community that they attract the other weird people as partners, and then they have weird little kids, and no one really looks twice. A bunch of the people (including me) who married in were informally adopted first. “Oh, your parents punished you for this behavior? We all do that here. Come to the barbecue!” Two years later, I had their last name and was helping watch their adorable little handflappy babies.
We’ve got an entire gene pool over here of autistic people thriving so well that no one noticed we were all autistic.
Also, that cousin got RID of his wife when she started talking about how “tragic” their son’s autism is. Their son is a perfectly normal child in our family and will be raised as such. We joke now that when something needs fixed, “Oh, just call Uncle So-and-So, he’ll autism at it.”’
I fucking love this family so much.
Beautiful, wonderful story, no notes (except maybe asking if there’s room for one more at the dinner table).
Anyway, back to the original post, I am in deep gratitude for it, because it’s the only reason I thought to wonder if chickpeas are supposed to be spicy.
(Hint: Apparently they’re not. The genetic lottery locked the good tasting falafel and hummas behind an allergy wall.)
….what,,, what is aloe vera supposed to feel like?????
Palestinian men and boys in Gaza describe the torture, humiliation, and dehumanization that they suffered during their time as captives of the Israeli occupation forces. “They forced us to make dogs’ sounds,” one man tells the camera. “If you refused to do so, they would beat you.” Another tells the reporter, “When they saw us falling asleep, they would come with a lighter and burn our backs with it.”
“Every hour was like years,” the same man says. “The torture was unbelievable.” Reports have emerged in recent days of mass roundups, torture, and execution of men and boys in Beit Hanoun and other parts of north Gaza. Detainees were identified by loved ones and others in the community who recognized them from the photos the occupation forces have been releasing.
As more footage and testimony are released, the depth of the horrors inflicted upon our people in Gaza are being brought to light. While we may never know the full extent of those horrors, what we already know is enough for any person of conscience to be able to identify as war crimes that are as depraved as they are systematic.
“My message for the world is to look at those detainees,” the final detainee tells viewers. “We are respected people. We are not animals.”
[video id: as the caption by op reads, “Palestinian men and boys in Gaza describe the torture, humiliation, and dehumanization that they suffered during their time as captives of the Israeli occupation forces.”. there is credit to Quds News in the top right corner clideo.com in the bottom right corner, and the video is captioned. the video goes as such:
(video shows a young man showing the camera the scars on his wrists, then cuts to a relatively young looking man with a keffiyeh, talking to the camera while there are other men and boys in the background. throughout the entire video you can hear people talking in the background.)
man 1, speaking in Arabic: “They forced us to make dogs’ sounds, if you refuse to do that, they would beat you, if you don’t make cats’ sounds they would beat you. They would beat you very harshly. You should always do whatever they ask you.”
(cut to an older man talking to the camera with a young boy in the background, watching.) man 2, speaking in Arabic: “They prevent you from asking for anything. If you ask for water, they start beating you on your head or any other part of your body. They don’t treat elderlies or young people any different. I’m 62 years old. They beat me on my chest although I have respiratory problems.”
(video cuts to slightly panning over the group of boys and men, who are looking at the camera.) man 3, speaking in Arabic: “They stripped us off, stripped us naked. They blindfolded us then took us one by one and started beating us-(cut to 2 young men showing their scars, one being the same young man from earlier.)-then, when they took us to the buses they tortured us with electric shocks. (cut to the man talking to the camera. there are men, boys, and women int he background.) They forced us to take narcotic pills. Narcotic pills, water, crystal meth, and dirty water. They also stomped on our heads.” (cut to a man showing the camera his wrists, which are scarred. then, cut to man 1 speaking again, with men and boys still in the background.)
man 1, speaking in Arabic: “They were lifting our heads and then smashing them with a rock or anything they had. They had something like metal rings in their hands and they were using them to beat us.”
(cut to a mans jacket being raised to show an injury on his upper back) man 4, speaking in Arabic: “In the morning, I was sitting when he came and burnt my back with a cigarette and started insulting me. (cut to video of the man speaking to the camera-him being the same man with the injury-with boys watching in the background) Now I have a big wound on my back. Then in the afternoon, when they started putting us in vehicles, they beat us.
(cut to another shot of the group of men sitting and talking, then cut to a video of man 2 speaking again, still with a boy watching in the background.)
"My brother has severe injuries in his intestines. He had surgery on his intenstines. They tortured him with electric shocks. (cut back to the shot of the camera panning over the group of boys and men) He was screaming and telling them that he was patient. Whenever he was telling them that he was patient they were torturing him even more.”
man 4, speaking in Arabic: “They put our heads in the water and forced us to walk on glass. (cut to the man speaking with other men watching in the background) They were trying to extract confessions about Hamas or Fatah members. They wanted to know who has missiles. We told them that we didn’t know anything. We are simple people!”
(cut back to the previous young men showing their wrist injuries, then more video of the men talking to one another.) man 1, speaking in Arabic: “They made us pee on ourselves. We did that because of the severe beating. (cut to man 1 speaking with boys and men watching in the background) If you tell them that you need to go to the bathroom they say no. (man one shaking his finger in a ‘no’ gesture, towards the camera) You can’t go to the bathroom.”
(cut to and older man-man 5-lying down on a medical bed. then, cut to his face when he starts talking, while there is beeping in the background.) man 5, speaking in Arabic: “They blindfolded me and handcuffed me for 30 days. Yes, for 30 days. They were coming for us and we were not seeing anything, (not clear) (cut to video of two other men talking in medical beds) In the first 18 days, I didn’t eat anything. Only water. Then, they started giving me either an apple or a cucumber. One day an apple and the other a cucumber.”
(cut to another man speaking-man 6.) man 6, speaking in Arabic: “For me, they put me in a tent and pointed a gun at me, and they said: 'Choose, how do you want to die? Or we will throw you in the sea.’ I said: 'If God wants me to die as a martyr, then I would die as a martyr.’ He said: 'Do you want it to go to the right or left?’ (cut to the man showing an injury, a hole in his stomach) I said: 'I don’t know.’ He said: 'I don’t want you to die as a martyr, go to the right side.’ (cut back to him speaking) Then they kept us between 10 to 12 hours on the stones. They made me put on diapers because I was banned from going to the bathroom. I had to do it in the diapers. (cut to video of men sitting with a woman indoors) For three days, they forced me to sit on my knees without moving. Moving was prohibited. I was only resting when it was lunchtime. (cut back to man talking) For 10 hours I was being suspended, sometimes with my hand tied to the back like this, (he looks at the camera while he puts his hands behind his back before returning to his original position) and sometimes with my hands tied in front of me. They were pulling the chains upwards and then leaving them suddenly” (motioning as if he is pulling up a chain with his index finger and thumb, and then suddenly dropping it.)
(cut to a video of another man lying down-man 7.) man 7, speaking in Arabic: “Since the day they detained me until now, I’ve been wounded in my leg. He stomped it and severely harmed it.”
(pointing to his leg off camera, then cutting to show his injured leg, before cutting to another man, man 8.) man 8, speaking in Arabic: “I was detained for 18 days. 3 days before detaining us, they were targeting houses, shooting at all the houses. On the fourth day, bulldozers and tanks came. They were bulldozing the entire area. (cut to the video zoomed out on him sitting while an older man sits next to him and looks off camera and a young boy looks around, sitting next to the older man.) They held us in an apartment that they had already occupied in the area. (cut back to him talking) We stayed there 48 hours, no water, no food, nothing. We were only handcuffed with our hands to the back. (he puts his hands behind his back before returning to his original position) They beat us and humiliated us. When they saw us sleeping, they were burning our backs with a lighter. (crosses his arm to put his hand on his back) They burnt my back with cigarettes several times. (hand slides back down) A guy asked him for water, so he told him to open his mouth. The guy, who was blindfolded and did not see anything, opened his mouth. Then, the soldier spit in his mouth. (camera pans down to show the mans bandaged leg, his hand on his knee before going back to hold his other hand.) My leg was injured. (cut back to his face while he is speaking.) They tortured using Shabeh on a fence. There was a guy, who has his arm amputated at the beginning of the war. They were were suspending him on one arm. They kept him like that for 3 or 4 hours. (cut back to his leg) Every hour was like years. The torture was unbelievable. (cut to his wrists, which are scarred) Before releasing us today, they tortured us more than they did in the past 18 days. (cut back to his face while he is speaking) My message for the world is to look at those detainees.(points upwards then points to camera, before putting his hand back down.) We are respected people, not animals, we are respected people. (cut back to a video of man 7 lying down)” /end id.]
I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:
Fictional characters are objects.
They are not people. You cannot “objectify” them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot “disrespect” them, because they are not real.
I know this has good intentions, so I will just add the “how you treat them, even as objects of fiction, can speak about your own character, be careful out there”
Your addition is actually completely antithetical to my message. It is literally the opposite of what I am conveying.
Stop telling people to encourage the cop inside their head.
How you treat fictional characters, given they are entirely objects of fiction, does NOT necessarily speak to your own character, and you do not need to be “careful”.
It is not dangerous to imagine dark things happening to fictional characters. It does not mean you are secretly a bad person. It does not mean you unconsciously want to hurt people in real life. It is not a “slippery slope” to doing bad things to people in real life. You cannot damage your brain or turn yourself into a bad person by consuming “dark” fanfic.
I can write tentacle noncon of my favorite character all day long and be a fierce anti-sexual assault advocate in real life because what I do in my head is not the same thing as what I do in real life.
Had a panic attack at work last night and this clerk noticed and he got really close and said “hey look at me, just you and me” and then kept talking like normal and I looked away again and he stopped and more firmly said “look.at.me.” and it made me a lil wet ngl
Yeah this guy blew my back out this morning, follow your dreams everyone
He has decided he’s gonna do a fortnite emote after every time we fuck actually maybe reel your dreams in a little
Everyone’s a critic
Yeah we’ve been dating for a hot minute now and I know a lot more Fortnite dances tho so it turns out gamer IS sexually transmitted
how are they gonna adequately prepare whatever child they cast for nico di angelo. it has got to be impossible for someone that young to give informed consent about playing the saddest wettest loser in all of human history. like hey kid i know youre sprightly and all of ten, but we need you to be in all five stages of grief at all times. remember, your mother was killed in fascist italy, youre eighty years old, and now youre in love with the guy who killed your sister. say this next line like you know what it’s like to be an ear of corn.
The fact that you can’t raise taxes on billionaires even slightly without them pouring money into fascist political movements is, of itself, evidence that billionaires as a class shouldn’t be allowed to exist in the first place.
You, ah, don’t think it’s unfair to judge people’s morals based on their finances?
I, ah, think that it’s perfectly fair to judge people’s morals based on the amount of money they pour into neo-nazi political movements, yeah actually.
A lot of American cooking is really quite French and it has been for centuries and I used to not know that and everyone talked up French cooking so much and then I started actually looking into it and I was like. I. Cook like this. Everyone I know cooks like this. This is just butter. It’s butter, Michael. It’s butter. You were hyping up butter. I can already do this.
Percy Jackson but Hestia has a cabin. that is where the unclaimed go because she goddess of home and family. Demigods get claimed faster because when they show up Hestia glares at her siblings, nieces and nephews untill they claim them.
The maths fandom is wild. “Real” and “imaginary” numbers? I think you mean canon and non-canon. You guys seriously go “this is my number oc his name is i and he is the square root of -1” when in numbers canon lore it’s actually impossible to square root a negative but sure whatever. “Complex numbers”? I think you mean a character x oc ship. “f(x) = 3x - 5”? That is self-insert fanfiction.
The maths fandom is wild. “Real” and “imaginary” numbers? I think you mean canon and non-canon. You guys seriously go “this is my number oc his name is i and he is the square root of -1” when in numbers canon lore it’s actually impossible to square root a negative but sure whatever. “Complex numbers”? I think you mean a character x oc ship. “f(x) = 3x - 5”? That is self-insert fanfiction.
i DO enjoy when seedlings start pushing their way through the soil but they havent gotten big enough to break the surface yet so all you see is a little dirt lump that wasn’t there before and its like ohh shit watch out world here they come in a short 8 to 48 hours!!
“Get a rat and put it in a cage and give it two water bottles. One is just water, and one is water laced with either heroin or cocaine. If you do that, the rat will almost always prefer the drugged water and almost always kill itself very quickly, right, within a couple of weeks. So there you go. It’s our theory of addiction. Bruce comes along in the ’70s and said, “Well, hang on a minute. We’re putting the rat in an empty cage. It’s got nothing to do. Let’s try this a little bit differently.” So Bruce built Rat Park, and Rat Park is like heaven for rats. Everything your rat about town could want, it’s got in Rat Park. It’s got lovely food. It’s got sex. It’s got loads of other rats to be friends with. It’s got loads of colored balls. Everything your rat could want. And they’ve got both the water bottles. They’ve got the drugged water and the normal water. But here’s the fascinating thing. In Rat Park, they don’t like the drugged water. They hardly use any of it. None of them ever overdose. None of them ever use in a way that looks like compulsion or addiction. There’s a really interesting human example I’ll tell you about in a minute, but what Bruce says is that shows that both the right-wing and left-wing theories of addiction are wrong. So the right-wing theory is it’s a moral failing, you’re a hedonist, you party too hard. The left-wing theory is it takes you over, your brain is hijacked. Bruce says it’s not your morality, it’s not your brain; it’s your cage. Addiction is largely an adaptation to your environment. We’ve created a society where significant numbers of our fellow citizens cannot bear to be present in their lives without being drugged, right? We’ve created a hyper-consumerist, hyper-individualist, isolated world that is, for a lot of people, much more like that first cage than it is like the bonded, connected cages that we need. The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection. And our whole society, the engine of our society, is geared towards making us connect with things. If you are not a good consumer capitalist citizen, if you’re spending your time bonding with the people around you and not buying stuff—in fact, we are trained from a very young age to focus our hopes and our dreams and our ambitions on things we can buy and consume. And drug addiction is really a subset of that.”
It takes so much courage to admit you were wrong ever, let alone publicly, especially if you’re involved in conspiracy stuff like this. Infinite respect
ALT
