January 2024

jettkuso:

Real observations since I started wearing a wizard hat daily:

- Brim is so wide that I stay BONE DRY taking walks in the rain

- Brim can be positioned to block the sun from ever getting in my eyes AND keeping it off the back of my neck

- The pointed top part creates an air pocket, keeping my head from getting hot or squishing my hair as it might in a ball cap

- Hat can easily be pulled down over the tips of my ears without looking dumb, protecting them from wind chill

- Strangers say they like my hat, giving me the chance to tell them that I am a wizard

- When you’re wearing a wizard hat, ALL OTHER FASHION CHOICES become secondary, allowing you to branch out with style

Embrace ego death. Stay protected from all elements. Wear a wizard hat.

official-megumin:

mrcloudyfun:

catasters:

Age old question, fellas

@a-sentient-cup

kiyokospeaks:

:

Out of an abundance of caution: Do not search your name, or the names of people you know.

There’s rumors about the website tracking the names that get searched, so you could put yourself or other people under scrutiny if you do so.

lorekeeper-backset:

So are we gonna turn the Day Tumblr Live Died into a new Tumblr holiday?

ms-demeanor:

uvradical:

foxgirlsounds:

spandexinspace:

I need everyone to know that the ship Götheborg, the world’s largest ocean-going wooden sailing ship, answered a distress call the other day.

Imagine waiting for the coast guard or whatever to show up and instead a replica of 18th century merchant ship pulls up and tows you to the coast.

pov: you’ve been transported to the 17th century

#in the article it says that the sailboat sailors were concerned because they could not be towed quickly because of the kind of boat#so they asked Götheborg what type of ship they were and warned that they would not be able to go above a certain speed#and götheborg went ’ we are also a sailboat. 50 meters length. no worries :) ’#and the poor sailboat sailors were just like ’ That’s not possible. they have to be messing with us’ and then the ship Rolled Up (via bunjywunjy)

I’m crying. Here’s a photo of a sailor from the Götheborg watching over the little sailboat in tow:

From the story:

We repeatedly emphasized that we were aboard a small 8-meter sailboat, but the response was the same each time: “We are a 50-meter three-masted sailboat, and we offer our assistance in towing you to Paimpol.” We were perplexed by the size difference between our two boats, as we feared being towed by a boat that was too large and at too fast a speed that could damage our boat.

The arrival of the Götheborg on the scene was rapid and surprising, as we did not expect to see a merchant ship from the East India Company of the XVIII century. This moment was very strange, and we wondered if we were dreaming. Where were we? What time period was it? The Götheborg approached very close to us to throw the line and pass a large rope. The mooring went well, and our destinies were linked for very long hours, during which we shared the same radio frequency to communicate with each other.

The crew of the Götheborg showed great professionalism and kindness towards us. They adapted their speed to the size of our boat and the weather conditions. We felt accompanied by very professional sailors. Every hour, the officer on duty of the Götheborg called us to ensure everything was going well.[…]

This adventure, very real, was an incredible experience for us. We were extremely lucky to cross paths with the Götheborg by chance and especially to meet such a caring crew.

Dear commander and crew of the Götheborg, your kindness, and generosity have shown that your ship is much more than just a boat. It embodies the noblest values of the sea, and we are honored to have had the chance to cross your path and benefit from your help.

“Our destinies were linked for very long hours” is just knocking me out.

brainstatic:

Tired of your baby girl being seen as a genderless imp? Afraid strangers might not recognize your sexless proto-human as the soft femme heartbreaker she is? Well now you can glue some shit on her head! That’s right, just glue some gender conformity right onto her unclosed fontanelle! Say goodbye to awkwardly explaining that no, despite her bald head, your androgynous poop machine is actually a demure coquette! Glue your fucking baby today!

theygender:

agrioxoiros-deactivated20240927:

The more the bear identity is mainstreamed, the more it gets sanitised. The more you get people insisting it doesn’t mean what it means, that it’s just for “buff and mayyybe a little chubby” “dad bod” “strongman build” whatever euphemism they can to deny fat men a place in their own community.

Fat hairy gay men built this place for themselves and now you’re barging in and pretending they never belonged there.

Screenshot of tags:
#so its like that comic about building a shopping mall in the bears natural habitat and a shopper going like 'eek a bear!'ALT
Edited comic showing a bear labeled "fat men" standing in a forest labeled "bear community" in the first panel. 

In the next panel the trees are torn down and a sign is placed up next to the bear that reads "Coming: New! Bear Community." 

The third panel shows the construction of a new building next to the bear. 

In the final panel a woman coming across the bear in the new community exclaims "Eek! A fat guy! Where did you come from?" to which the bear replies "Er, I've always been here."ALT

thesillyguyy:

f3v3r-dr3am:

I’m really hungry but also really need to shit

What is this

Crying rn man

markodragic:

markodragic:

markodragic:

I finished portal and immediately went to ebay and ordered portal 2, I cannot wait to hang out with that wretched stephen merchant ball that people were obsessed with 10 years ago

I’ve been playing for about half an hour and I’ve come to the conclusion that I would die for this little sphere guy

securitycapecreature:

iero:

Full offense, but I think milk substitution charges should not exist at coffee shops. It is NOT my or anyone’s fault that they cannot have dairy and that’s that.

#Also gluten free bread options
#Tired of going to hamburger places and being charged extra for gf bread when everyone else can choose between 5 types of bread at no cost ALT

absolutely, get peer reviewed

argumate:

spankymerve:

non-weebs be like, “i don’t like all the boobs and ass in anime,” but then weebs be like, “okay but like which anime did you watch?” and non-weebs be like, “i can’t believe Big Titty Cherry Blossom Swimsuit Club had so many titties!”

non-weebs be like “oh I enjoyed this Ghibli movie, maybe anime is okay”, but then weebs be like “hey you should watch Big Titty Cherry Blossom Swimsuit Club next, it’s great!” and non-weebs be like “anime is not okay”

sweets-system:

goodnightwindy:

goodnightwindy:

goodnightwindy:

goodnightwindy:

4 days until wet rat wednesday

3 days until wet rat wednesday

1 day until wet rat wednesday

happy wet rat wednesday

Despite all my wrath I am still just a rat in a bath

theautumnaldemon:

thesillyguyy:

elierlick:

Today’s wholesome trans comic.

I’m just on my way to kill all of the transphobes in the replies just gimme a second 😊😊😊😊

same 😊

pengosolvent:

this one’s a few days late due to having a lot of doctors appointments sorry
it’s  just 9 pages, and about some rats… it’s more symbolic than anything really

(it’s completely unrelated to any of my songs that have to do with “puzzleboy”)

Patreon: www.patreon.com/PengoSolvent

derinthescarletpescatarian:

adulthoodisokay:

theonion:

Beautiful Cinnamon Roll Too Good For This World, Too Pure

happy 10th birthday to beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure

It’s only ten years old??

kreetn:

blurrycow:

what’s your chinese zodiac animal?

rat 🐀

ox 🐂

tiger 🐅

rabbit 🐇

dragon 🐉

snake 🐍

horse 🐴

goat 🐐

monkey 🙈

rooster 🐓

dog 🐕

pig 🐖

See Results

since chinese new year is next month (Feb 10th) I figured I’d do a poll like this— it also indicates a tumblr age demographic so that’s always interesting

"Normal distribution" in flaming fontALT

:

hollow-keys:

deactivated-20250518-deactivate:

so funny how people on this website are like “how is celibacy sweeping in this poll you guys are all virgin losers. casual sex is awesome you should fuck your friends” until the person having casual sex and fucking their friends is aro. then they start pissing and shitting themselves.

They’re all big into acephobia and compulsory sexuality until they realise it would accidentally affirm alloaros, then it’s bad.

It’s like when transphobes tell trans women “No matter what you do you’ll always be a man, I’m not calling you anything other than that” and then when a cis man likes pink suddenly they’re calling him a girl. Bigotry is not consistent

Yep, aroace person here and I’ve seen both of these expressed sometimes even by the same person. As you said, it’s not about having a consistent take on the matter. People will simply shift the argument to fit the target. In this case, the goal is to make the environment ultimately hostile to both aro and ace people.

tootiredforaname:

supreme-leader-stoat:

supreme-leader-stoat:

You’re fresh out of college and looking for a job. Everyone is hiring. Nobody who’s “hiring” is actually hiring. You finally get a call back from somewhere you barely remember applying to (though the voice on the other end sounds synthesized). You pull up the job listing again real quick. The company name and the fact that the listing is for “Minion” are kind of concerning, but you know what, you’ve interviewed with enough evil corporations by now, you can handle one wearing its true colors on its sleeve. At this point it’s a matter of making rent or moving back in with your parents, and as much as you love your family, you can’t imagine spending another summer dealing with your brothers’ antics. You agree to the interview.

The man who greets you is an enthusiastic older German(?) man who’s either way too into cosplay or just that committed to the bit, judging by the lab coat. He made cookies. The tray of cookies is proffered to you by a ten-foot-tall robotic caricature of a 50s businessman. You take a deep breath to calm yourself. You bite into one of the cookies. It’s delicious.

You ask the boss about his business model. “Oh you know, a little of this, a little of that, I bounce from project to project a lot.” He mentions that his end goal is becoming the undisputed ruler of the surrounding counties. “Really? Not the whole world?” you ask. “I like to set realistic goals,” he replies.

As he gives you the tour of his “evil lair,” ingrained instincts are screaming at you to report this guy to some kind of authority figure. You remember the salary. You decide that you can always bust him after getting your first paycheck.

The boss asks when you can start. Caught off guard, you say “tomorrow?”. Your boss(?) says he’ll see you then.

On the way out, you bump into your stepbrother’s girlfriend. Your boss introduces her as his daughter. You both silently agree to sidestep the subject for now and act like this is your first time meeting.

You show up to your first day of work. Your boss is putting the finishing touches on a giant machine that was definitely not there yesterday. You are nonplussed. You ask him what it’s for and he launches into a convoluted explanation involving his parents always forcing him to put his shirts on backwards so the tag was in front. You think he should probably talk to a therapist.

Your brothers’ exotic pet breaks down the wall. You stare at him. He stares at you. Incredulously, you say his name. “Oh, good, you two already know each other!” your boss says. You mention that you used to live with him. “What? Perry the Platypus, you never mentioned having a roommate.”

This is what I like to imagine Candace Flynn’s life is like, post P&F.

See now you’re reading it with The Voice.

[ID: tumblr tags reading, “… *scrolls back up to read the whole thing again* /end ID]

catgirl-techsupport:

Saw a post like this with negative outlook so I asked for it to be fixed

One thing I liked about Dune is how Mohiam's "human stuck in a trap" metaphor basically describes the plot of the book: Dune is a trap laid by the Harkonnens, and Paul pretends to be dead for years until he can kill them.

argumate:

adhoption:

argumate:

argumate:

I forget the exact details, but the “trap” was basically that the Harkonnens launched a massive attack, like a ridiculously huge attack, they hired so many ships it required a bankruptingly huge loan that would take decades to pay off, a risk that the Atreides didn’t see coming and were wiped out by.

but why did it need to be launched against Arrakis? wouldn’t the exact same attack have completely ruined the Atreides back when they were based on Caladan?

space-wizards said: I assume because that would let them snag the ridiculously important/lucrative planet as well? it’s been a while since I read the book.

but the Harkonnens already had Arrakis, it was only them vacating it that allowed the Atreides to take possession! although I can’t remember if the Emperor ordered them to do it, but then again if the Emperor is okay with them launching a violent assault to retrieve it and also lends his own Sardaukar… oh wait yeah it was the Emperor that laid the trap, the Harkonnens were just his witting accomplices and the Atreides knew it was coming but underestimated the seriousness, okay now it makes more sense.

Please, this book sounds like a lazy metaphor for US foreign policy in the Middle East. Oh, the desert country has the precious natural resource? The bad guys can’t just occupy it, so they install a stooge government, but then they lie in wait for a pretext to invade again with billions of dollars worth of fire and fury and occupy them with world approval? Hell, they even named the place Arrakis/Iraqis.

When was it written? After 2003, right?

this analysis would work if Jeb goes native Arab instead of native Hispanic, then when George Bush invades he unexpectedly comes out on a camel and leads ISIS to victory over the United States.

soggywetcatgirl:

mydairpercabeth:

I really love the way they have written Sally and Percy’s relationship in the show. Sally being the mom of a neurodivergent kid and feeling like shes constantly failing. Her being isolated because she doesnt have anyone to talk to about this as a single parent. And she makes mistakes, she feels human. Then we have Percy feeling like a burden to his parent. He cant understand why none of his parents want him around even though its for his wellbeing. It’s so heartbreaking but so real.

jame7t:

The Grinch isn’t something we have to worry about year round. He never steals Halloween.

starrazors:

realest-slenderman:

starrazors:

idk if im actually bi or nit but i have an 8 am class tomorrow cant worry about that

collect my pages

but my. Bio lab tomorrow mr. slender sir. I cant do this

carolxdanvers:

inthesensethat-deactivated20240:


zelda-heritage-posts:

wizardpotions:

Thank you The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (1991)

Zelda Heritage Post

gayalicent:

I hope this doesn't come off as disrespectful, because I'm genuinely curious, but like...is alchemy "real"? Because the way you speak about it is how I wish I could, myself, appreciate it and you're the closest I've ever found to a real world wizard which excites me a great deal. I totally respect if for you it's actually just an interesting academic study without intention, I'm just curious for how you view it in that lens.

cryptotheism:

No that’s a good question!

Short answer: Yes, as in alchemists were real people who could actually do cool shit sometimes, but they weren’t actually transmuting lead into gold, you need a particle accelerator for that.

In the 4th century, you weren’t a scientist, that word hadn’t been invented yet. You were a Natural Philosopher. You studied everything from the stars, to mathematics, to medicine, to the nature of herbs and stones.

In the medieval era, you weren’t an astronomer, you were an astrologer. Telling people’s horoscopes involved a lot of astronomical math. There wasn’t really a difference between astronomy and astrology.

In the renaissance era, you weren’t a chemist. The term chemist didn’t exist yet. You were an alchemist. You tried to make gold sometimes, but you also manufactured dyes, glass vessels, cosmetics, paints, and medicines. You were kind of a whitesmith, and a glass-blower, and a doctor, and sometimes just a con-man.

Alchemy and chemistry have a relationship similar to Astrology and Astronomy. But, don’t think of alchemy as just “Chemistry with magic.” Alchemy is the father of modern chemistry. It is the cocoon that chemistry sprouted out of.

The thing is, alchemy is more “real” than astrology is. You know what a common use of astrology was in the medieval era? Diagnosing diseases. You’d check someone’s horoscope to determine what medicine to give them. This didn’t work. A medieval astrology textbook isn’t going to be useful for diagnosing why your stomach hurts.

But!

Medieval alchemy texts are actually useful sometimes. If you want to dye some copper so it looked more like gold, there are alchemy texts that can tell you how to do that. If you want to distill the mercury out of some cinnabar, alchemists could do that. They didn’t really know how or why that worked, but they could do it! If you want a potion that could make you immortal, the alchemists could make a philter of mercury and lead that would definitely 100% kill you and it would hurt the whole time you were dying. You can’t win em all.

Im writing about the history of alchemy on my patreon if you wanna support me!

rhulksdiscordkitten:

rhulksdiscordkitten:

HELLO ?

Help I got the Temu labiaplasty and now my pussy is on backwards

soyalexnajera:

RIP Tumblr Live, you wont be missed

vamprisms:

people who upload movies online for free shouldn’t face legal action they should get their peanus sucked everyday…..??

modmad:

tinsnip:

hmmm-official:

hmmm

That’s a tarot card

greeniery:

if i ever interacted with you and it was awkward just know im sorry and painfully aware that sometimes i come off like a person who is having the first conversation of their life

todayiwrotenothing:

void-enthusiasts:

why must it always be ‘peppering’. why can’t i salt my lover with kisses. paprika my lover with kisses. 3 tablespoons chili powder 2 teaspoons ground cumin ½ teaspoons oregano my lover with kisses

Yeah why can’t I cumin my lover

greeniery:

if i ever interacted with you and it was awkward just know im sorry and painfully aware that sometimes i come off like a person who is having the first conversation of their life

firefox-official:

proud to be seth macfarlane’s ONLY spotify listener

serial-unaliver-deactivated2024:

having gay sex is like the least problematic thing that has happened in that US senate hearing room

rjalker:

People literally calling the Public Domain a graveyard have no clue what they’re talking about. Without the Public Domain, most of your beloved childhood Disney movies literally would not have been made, because they are literally based on stories that were in the Public Domain.

Please unlearn capitalistic propaganda before you go saying things like “the public domain is the graveyard of ideas”. Literally the only people that benefits are giant corporations like Disney who don’t want you using the Public Domain like they have been this whole damn time.

isselhorst-avenwedde:

"it's now safe to turn off your gender" in the style of the uhh windows 95 ish thing that told you it was safe to turn off your computerALT

whatwwwwwww:

professional-egg-layer:

professional-egg-layer:

professional-egg-layer:

i think cis girls can have a packer as a treat

actually no make this a thing. itd probably be so good for making trans girls feel safe

im glad like at least 500 people can agree that gender affirming prosthetics shouldnt be exclusive to just trans people. honestly this goes for cis guys too feel free to get some breast forms. just dont be surprised if afterwards you decide you dont want to be a guy anymore

the-stars-were-his:

if this post gets over 5k notes by aromantic spectrum awareness week (feb 18-24) i’ll tell my homophobic “friend” that they’re being homophobic and need to cut it out

gxlden-angels:

Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they’ll say shit like “spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson” but like??? no you didn’t??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn

Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you’re literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished

And studies not aside, you’re gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn’t break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you’re a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue

for the second prompt, i really feel like no one ever makes a big deal out of how unimportant people make us feel if we're bisexual. they act like we're "faking" being queer but at the same time they still judge us for not being straight. it really sucks bc when its like that you don't really feel like you fit with the rest of the queer community but at the same time you aren't appreciated in the hetero community. to everyone out there, bisexual is the b in lgbtq. don't treat us like we don't matter in the community bc all we want is to feel like we do

our-queer-experience:

^^^

one-time-i-dreamt:

one-time-i-dreamt:

not a dream

someone sent me a hate message on here and promptly deleted their blog before I could even see the message or respond

thanks cum roll for making me laugh

This is so wholesome actually

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argumate:

argumate:

eBay keeps sending me $5 vouchers and I keep not spending them (which is presumably why they keep sending them), it’s like an elaborate game of psychosexual chicken and I’m losing track of who is taunting who

I finally ended up spending one, I don’t know if that means they won or I did

gxlden-angels:

Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they’ll say shit like “spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson” but like??? no you didn’t??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn

Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you’re literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished

And studies not aside, you’re gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn’t break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you’re a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue