two dudes catching up but then an achievement pops up above them thats says “BECHDEL TEST PASSED” and they both look at each other and go “so ive been meaning to tell you something”
You know it’s a great puppet when you don’t even notice the two entire people under and behind its body moving its limbs until it’s halfway across the stage.
Sometimes a guy in a fanfiction has the ability to read someone’s gaze with the same level of detail a wine taster can taste the wine
“He glared at him with anger in his eyes, but behind that longing and sorrow over things left unsaid, a subtle but desperate yearning for things to be different, and with just a hint of roasted nuts right at the end.”
need a bi4bi t4t m/f pairing where the girl is a giant freak and not in the “cute manic pixie” way but in the “unethical experiments in my fucked up laboratory” way and the guy is a golden retriever who thinks he can fix her. and he brings her cute bento lunches and she’s like “bradley shut up put on your fucking gloves and hold this possum down so i can graft these giant grasshopper legs to it”
the typical transphobic talking point of “oh so if the person you’re having sex with decides they’re transgender during, does that make it gay/straight sex huh????” is stupid for the obvious reasons but also because if somebody transed their gender while they were inside me that would fucking rule. keep me guessing babe
Protégé. Trump has made it quite clear that he is an admirer of Hitler. His advisors had made it clear to him NOT to make public statements about that.
Google will begin deleting inactive Gmail and Google accounts one week from today, on December 1st, 2023.
Google accounts that have not been used in two or more years will begin getting deleted starting next week, along with content (photos, docs, contacts, emails, etc) associated with the account.
you will NOT be able to re-register deleted email addresses after they get deleted.
“…if a Google Account has not been used or signed into for at least 2 years, we may delete the account and its contents – including content within Google Workspace (Gmail, Docs, Drive, Meet, Calendar) and Google Photos.”
“A Google Account is considered active even if it has not been used within a 2-year period if one or more of these applies:
Your Google Account was used to make a purchase of a Google product, app, service, or subscription that is current or ongoing.
Your Google Account contains a gift card with a monetary balance.
Your Google Account owns a published application or game with ongoing, active subscriptions or active financial transactions associated with them. This might be a Google Account that owns an App on the Google Play store.
Your Google Account manages an active minor account with Family Link.
Your Google Account has been used to purchase a digital item, for example, a book or movie.”
if you want to keep old accounts, make sure you sign in ASAP. activity to avoid deletion includes:
signing in
doing a Google search
reading or sending an email
watching a YouTube video
downloading an app on the play store
using sign in with Google on a third party service
deletion of inactive accounts will be staggered, starting with accounts that were never used after creation. the earliest a Google account might be deleted is December 1st, 2023. a week from today.
“We will take a phased approach, starting with accounts that were created and never used again.”
You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.
Like imagine you find a 7 year old in the woods and she’s like my mom is gonna kill me because I’m prettier than her and she’s not kidding. You know this queen is that sort of person. So you and your roommates adopt the kid and tell her don’t talk to strangers. And she keeps talking to strangers and getting poison combs stuck in her hair and whatnot.
Like yeah that’s kinda stupid but also she’s seven. She likes apples.
Also imagine it from the hunter’s perspective. The queen tells you this bitch is prettier than me I need you to take her out in the woods and kill her. And then you see who you’re supposed to kill and it’s a 2nd grader. Like how are you supposed to react to that sort of situation? Kill a human child? No. Because you’re not a brainless evil minion you’re just some guy dealing with a cartoonishly evil monarch. Of course you let her go.
Bad look for the Prince of course. Even if she did age while she was in that glass case. He saw a dead woman and just decided to keep her. And once she stopped being dead he was like we’re married now
He did cause the evil queen to dance to death in red hot shoes though. That was kinda cool.
With the acknowledgement that I’m grasping at straws, is it ever directly confirmed that the Prince wasn’t also 7?
See, I think that still works.
You are the guardsman assigned to protect the eight-year-old Prince. You are currently in the middle of the forest because he absolutely had his heart set on “going hunting”, and the royal second-grader should definitely not be traipsing around the woods on his own. You let him go a little on ahead and he comes running back talking about how there’s a dead girl in the clearing and there’s no-one else around and he wants to take her home because she’s really pretty, Hans, and she’s all alone!
You let him drag you to said clearing and okay, that is one angelic-looking dead child alright, and on the one hand the quality of her clothes and the craftsmanship on the coffin (who builds a see-through coffin?) speak to potential Consequences if you simply carry her off, but also for the amount of vines that have grown on the coffin she looks extraordinarily un-decayed, so you should probably get the court alchemist’s opinion on that, and there’s no way he’s going to come all the way out here in his embroidered velvet curly-shoes. And also this kid is technically assigned by God as your natural superior, or something.
So fine. You hoist the coffin onto your shoulder (it’s not like the Prince can do it. He’s eight.) and head back toward the castle, Prince chattering blithely all the way. And then you turn your ankle on a rock and suddenly there’s a thump and a cough and a lot of shouting from inside the coffin and you have now become a key player in a tense political incident with the next kingdom over.
You should probably ask for a raise.
We are in favor of just about any fairy tale ending with “you should probably ask for a raise.”
NO PRESIDENT would have been better than Trump. In other words, if the office had been left vacant from 2017-2021, our country would have been left better off.
“if you’re not angry you’re not paying attention” used to be such a powerful phrase but now it’s more accurate to say “if you’re not angry you’re probably exhausted by 5+ years of Panic Outrage Mode and are nearing the limit of your emotional range for reacting to this shit”
DNI if you are into cordyceps fetish lmao it’s so fucking vile!!!! like literally so insensitive to the infected and their loved ones. it’s not something to fuck around with either!! you losers need to be magnifying glassed
378 notes
🍓 juiceline
follow me to the fruit – >
125,471 notes
💧 folic-acid-trip
can we not make ant farm jokes like idc if you’re descended from one it’s just weird
In January and February I took you to Lappland for the first time. @brilliantyears and I like to spend part of the winter there and you loved it of course, after all you are a Finnish Lapphund.
Later in February and early March we were in the South of France and drove up the Atlantic coast to Carcassonne and La Rochelle.
We went to Norway and Sweden in summer and spend the long days hiking and meeting friends we hadn’t seen in a long time.
We spent time at both the German North Sea and Baltic coast and of course you braced every day life with me in Berlin.
I couldn’t have done it without you.
Thanks for being at my side. I love you my sweet girl ❤️
What animal is it? Why the great Canadian luncheon.
Do you have occasion? We have card.
Be bold your foot chariot.
ah yes
the prophesied flops flip
this takes me back. When I was little my autism swag was so huge that I used to ask my mom to buy as many no name objects as possible so that I could turn the shopping cart into a kind of yellow tetris
Stop doing everything. Don’t say anything or be anything. Get as small as you possibly can without disappearing. Don’t exist. Or keep existing, but differently than before.
Remember: criticism is the same thing as wholesale condemnation and also murder, so react accordingly.
Apologize, but don’t really mean it, and plant a seed of secret resentment so deep in your own heart that years later you can’t even remember that you’re the one who nurtured it and made it grow, it seems that much like a native part of you.
Sink into a hole so deep that no one can ever find you.
No. No. No. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no NO. NO.
JUST DIE. JUST GET SICK AND DIE AND THEN YOU’LL FEEL TERRIBLE YOU EVER SAID THOSE THINGS BECAUSE I’LL BE DEAD AND YOU’LL BE SO SO SO SORRY AND YOU’LL WISH YOU COULD BRING ME BACK BUT YOU CAN’T.
Give up on all of your goals immediately.
Tell everyone you know about the criticism, but in a way that makes it clear that you expect them to publicly find it ridiculous and assure you there’s not a shred of truth to it. Do this repeatedly, first while sober, then later after several glasses of wine on a Wednesday afternoon when no one else is really drinking except for you. “Can you believe it?” Ask them that repeatedly. “Can you believe that? About me?” Ask until no one will meet your eyes.
Remember that life is a rich tapestry.
Become so rich and strong and tall that you’re a giant made out of gold and nobody can hurt you and everything you do is perfect and you can use your laser diamond eyes to melt the lungs of your enemies.
Dwell on it.
You can either be perfect or the biggest piece of shit who ever existed but not both, so if the criticism is right, you are the biggest piece of shit who ever existed. If it is not right, you are perfect and everyone else is wrong.
Fall in love with whoever criticized you. Don’t walk away until you’ve ruined their marriage.
Whisper their criticism every night to yourself until you have it memorized, word for word. Remember it forever. Have the words stitched into the shroud that covers your body before you’re lowered into the tomb so you and your criticism can embrace one another for eternity.
Do not rise above it. Never rise above anything. The sky is no place for a human.
Be sure not to separate the tone of the criticism from the content. If it was said ungracefully, it cannot be true. If it was said reasonably, it cannot be false.
Send an email explaining why you don’t deserve to be criticized, then another six emails after that, each one explaining the last, like a set of Russian nesting dolls that don’t think it’s your fault.
Set fire to something that was once beautiful.
Run into a cave and break your ankle so that people have to come find you and they see you lying at the bottom of this beautiful cave and maybe there’s a waterfall and the light from the crystals makes you look really beautiful and they say “Are you okay?” and you say “I think so” and they say “oh my God have you been here alone this whole time with a broken ankle” and you say “it’s okay” and they say “you’re so brave” and you are brave and you look so beautiful surrounded by cave crystals and everyone stands over you and says “oh wow” and “you poor beautiful thing” and “I’m so sorry we let you run into the cave but I’m so glad we found you” and let them carry you home and promise to be your best friends forever and that everything’s their fault and also they named the cave after you and you’re prettier than all of your enemies and your enemies all died of jealousy while you were in the cave.
Remember that there are only two kinds of people in the world: fans and haters. No true fan would ever express a criticism of you or your work; conversely no hater could ever seek to engage in a good-faith debate about something you said or did they disagree with. Dismiss everything everyone has to say about you.
Move away.
If it’s a close friend, say “Thank you for being so honest with me,” and then never talk to them again.
Do something with your feelings right away. It doesn’t matter what. Lash out, make a sculpture, whatever.
Log into YouTube and call someone “living Hitler” and “a waste of skin” until you feel better about yourself.
Remember, if someone doesn’t like your work, that means they don’t like you, and they wish that you had never been born, so just lay down in the road and die.
universities in america are called Michigan University and universities in england are called Our Lady Beverly’s Dunwich Moor Academy For Gifted Little Boys
You really have to be a little envious of GameMaker and Godot’s luck. Imagine struggling all this time to be every new gamedev’s first engine only to watch Unity shoot itself dead completely unprompted.
what if i *remembers that making suicide jokes is not conducive with my goal of improving the wellbeing of myself and everyone around me* transform into an oyster
“Tumblr should be user-owned” half you guys can’t even stand AO3 having fundraising drives
I think there’s just a contingent of people who think stuff on the internet should be Free and don’t understand that all these services exist on physical servers that someone ultimately has to pay rent and utility bills on.
And that’s not even getting in to the labor required to maintain them!
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