i am shrunken down and brought to the gnome world and when i attempt to assimilate to their culture I use an acorn cap as a hat and they all laugh cheerfully at my silly mistake of wearing what they use as a bowl like a cap and though this is a transgression that would have humiliated me in my human life I am instead laughing alongside them at my humorous misunderstanding
they ask me what I would like to eat and knowing that gnomes enjoy fruit i ask for my favorite fruit, an apple, and they all laugh raucously and say that i must be very hungry indeed to desire an entire apple rather than just a small chunk, and i go along with their joke and say that while my body may have shrank my stomach has not! and they all guffaw with delight until their faces turn red and see that my request is met and we all sit around a toadstool and share many apple slices together
over my time spent with the gnomes, my antics are still regarded with much delight. though i am past the age in which i am confused by their customs and norms, i occasionally pretend to be clueless about simple and easily understood things, such as shock at how toads are as tall as I am. they all continue to laugh at my feigned surprise, and sometimes join in, asking me if I need any help distinguishing what berries are for eating and which are for painting. i laugh, too. there is a sense of grace that comes with my shortcomings amongst the gnomes. they are entertained by my misunderstandings, yes, because life is to short to not be jolly.
i wake up one morning back at my original size. the small cavern in the roots of a tree that i lived in is destroyed in my sleep. my clothes, tailored from cut-up scraps of fabric, are shredded around me. i am a human again. i am horribly embarrassed.
the gnomes of the community gather around where i sit, all looking at me and exchanging glances with each other, none of them speaking the obvious. i can no longer stay here, now that i am not their size. but i was part of their community. i became one of them, indistinguishable from these people only from my past. how am i supposed to return to the world of the humans now? there is no life left for me there. that is not a life where i may fish for minnows in a babbling brook and feast off a bounty of raspberries. i am distraught. i cry.
my community comforts me. friends, all minuscule to me now, pat me wherever they can reach, nimbly dodging the tears that fall from my face. one of them offers me water. they don’t have any containers that are big enough for me, they apologize, so just this acorn cap filled with morning dew will have to suffice.
i take the acorn cap and look at it in my hands. it is so small now. with a sniff, i put it atop my head.
the gnome chuckles. then laughs. then bends at the waist, bellowing with laughter, supporting himself on my knee. then i am laughing too, face red, tears still falling, and my community of gnomes laughs with me as well, so loud that a flock of birds takes off in the distance, and i am still laughing even as i stand to my feet and lumber away, back to where i once came.
I have a family friend who worked at our local Salvation Army headquarters as a a secretary. This particular office took all the Christmas donations for children in need, put them in a warehouse, and on a designated day the staff and their friends picked through them all, taking whatever they wanted. She saw people hauling away bikes donated for specific families. Some local children had hundreds of dollars of gifts donated in their name, and on Christmas they received three cheap things, items likely not even from the person who sponsored them.
My friend quit, and I’ve not given them a dime of my money since then.
Do not give to the Salvation Army.
Do Not. Give. To. Salvation. Army
My turn.
I’m a wildfire and disaster logistics specialist.
I deal with a lot of agencies who provide disaster relief.
I used to say the Salvation Army’s disaster services were the one (literally the ONE) good thing they did.
They would come in, set up a canteen trailer, make and pass out hot coffee and donated food in a disaster, usually being one of the first agencies to get there and the last to leave.
Then I found out.
Every time they did this, regardless of if they were actually invited or deployed by the agency in charge (usually FEMA, sometimes others) they would SELF-DEPLOY. Meanjng they would just show up. Ok. That’s not TOO bad, sometimes agencies have to take initiative and get there before the red tape is sorted out. BUT. They, after they left at the end of the incident, they would send FEMA or the host agency a BILL. They used one or two paid employees (usually the driver of the truck and a supervisor); and many VOLUNTEERS, but they would bill for EVERYONE’s Labor at standard federal rates. They would bill for the food they distributed even though it was all donated by another agency or private parties. They would bill for the coffee they made and the supplies. Except they would use electricity from the shelter location, water from donations or from the shelter, and in many cases, they would get the coffee and industrial filters DONATED, but bill for them at retail prices.
Don’t FUCKING give to the Salvation Army.
The Salvation Army is also ass to the workers. A good number of people join it, naively thinking that it’s doing good, and end up leaving cynical and beaten down. The management is hostile, if not outright abusive, and demand some ridiculous hours of it lower to mid-level staff. Don’t support these people.
Unsettling update
Find better local charities and shelters and give to them instead!
Also just for even more horrific context on the original twitter thread?
Salvation Army reached out to Milknmuffins and asked what shelter she’s at with the promise to address the abuse in it. She…ended up saying where she was. She was thrown out onto the street. It’s also all on Twitter.
They invited her to a personal talk so she could explain the situation in person.
And then they threatened her with a screenshot of a rape-threat made supposedly by her:
And then threw her out into the street while claiming she broke house rules that
So yeah, the Salvation Army is a bunch of entitled assholes that will treat the most vulnerable like shit if they dare try to do anything that makes them look bad
The “Fuck Salvation Army” posts are making the rounds again, so conisder this your reminder:
Do. Not. Give. These. Assholes. A. Single. Fucking. Penny.
Do not support them in any way, shape, or form.
‘Tis the season to say FUCK the Salvation Army.
if I ever meet someone who proudly supports the salvation army and knows of the horrible things they do I’m punching them in the throat
I have a family friend who worked at our local Salvation Army headquarters as a a secretary. This particular office took all the Christmas donations for children in need, put them in a warehouse, and on a designated day the staff and their friends picked through them all, taking whatever they wanted. She saw people hauling away bikes donated for specific families. Some local children had hundreds of dollars of gifts donated in their name, and on Christmas they received three cheap things, items likely not even from the person who sponsored them.
My friend quit, and I’ve not given them a dime of my money since then.
Do not give to the Salvation Army.
Do Not. Give. To. Salvation. Army
My turn.
I’m a wildfire and disaster logistics specialist.
I deal with a lot of agencies who provide disaster relief.
I used to say the Salvation Army’s disaster services were the one (literally the ONE) good thing they did.
They would come in, set up a canteen trailer, make and pass out hot coffee and donated food in a disaster, usually being one of the first agencies to get there and the last to leave.
Then I found out.
Every time they did this, regardless of if they were actually invited or deployed by the agency in charge (usually FEMA, sometimes others) they would SELF-DEPLOY. Meanjng they would just show up. Ok. That’s not TOO bad, sometimes agencies have to take initiative and get there before the red tape is sorted out. BUT. They, after they left at the end of the incident, they would send FEMA or the host agency a BILL. They used one or two paid employees (usually the driver of the truck and a supervisor); and many VOLUNTEERS, but they would bill for EVERYONE’s Labor at standard federal rates. They would bill for the food they distributed even though it was all donated by another agency or private parties. They would bill for the coffee they made and the supplies. Except they would use electricity from the shelter location, water from donations or from the shelter, and in many cases, they would get the coffee and industrial filters DONATED, but bill for them at retail prices.
Don’t FUCKING give to the Salvation Army.
The Salvation Army is also ass to the workers. A good number of people join it, naively thinking that it’s doing good, and end up leaving cynical and beaten down. The management is hostile, if not outright abusive, and demand some ridiculous hours of it lower to mid-level staff. Don’t support these people.
Unsettling update
Find better local charities and shelters and give to them instead!
Also just for even more horrific context on the original twitter thread?
Salvation Army reached out to Milknmuffins and asked what shelter she’s at with the promise to address the abuse in it. She…ended up saying where she was. She was thrown out onto the street. It’s also all on Twitter.
They invited her to a personal talk so she could explain the situation in person.
And then they threatened her with a screenshot of a rape-threat made supposedly by her:
And then threw her out into the street while claiming she broke house rules that
So yeah, the Salvation Army is a bunch of entitled assholes that will treat the most vulnerable like shit if they dare try to do anything that makes them look bad
The “Fuck Salvation Army” posts are making the rounds again, so conisder this your reminder:
Do. Not. Give. These. Assholes. A. Single. Fucking. Penny.
Do not support them in any way, shape, or form.
‘Tis the season to say FUCK the Salvation Army.
if I ever meet someone who proudly supports the salvation army and knows of the horrible things they do I’m punching them in the throat
Me: portraying Hamas as unreasonable and subhuman only suits to serve Israel and justify ethnic cleansing. We must deconstruct how they are portrayed and while not excusing what they’ve done, understanding them beyond the label of terrorist, which is wildly racialized and has been used to malign several freedom fighters who are working toward decolonization/liberation, is vital to understanding their political aims. What if we held the same nuance for them? Why is Israel allowed to brutalize and maim civilians but aren’t labeled terrorists? Why is colonial violence so justified that the violence from occupied people is never understood to be a necessary means of resistance. How can we challenge the narratives we hold that continuously paints a resistance group as subhuman stupid animals that must be wiped off the face of the planet. The best way to end the violence of Hamas is to end the violence of settler colonialism.
Smart people with the best reading comprehension: okay but they are terrorists though?? Do you condemn them?
IOF just executed one of their own because they thought he was Palestinian. How is this not terrorism? How is this not a death cult, fueled by hate and fear? How is this not the violence of empire where no one would bat an eye if he was REALLY Palestinian and killed because that is routine. That is the norm.
ok uh. how do you hypothetically say “i want to study you” in a friendly way
so far the best I’ve got is “can i join a discord derver that youre in so i can observe you in your natural habitat”
hm. i see your point
[Image ID: Anonymous Tumblr ask reading: i think neurotypicals just say “I’d love to get to know you better” and it means the same thing to them /End ID]
sometimes when I’m bored, I go through the list of recent bad faith Wikipedia edits that have since been reverted. a lot of them are politically contentious/offensive topics that attract crazies and trolls in general, but sometimes there are completely innocent inoffensive articles that people attack for no reason. some guy yesterday vandalized the article on the chemical element francium
Francium IS a stupid element. It has a half life of 22 minutes and barely exists at all, only naturally occurring as a product of the extremely rare alpha decay series ²³⁵U ➝ ²³¹Th ➝ ²³¹Pa (𝜷 decay) ➝ ²²⁷Ac ➝ ²²³Fr (1.38% chance). There’s less than a gram of it on earth at any given moment. It has no uses to anybody and it isn’t even the most reactive group 1A element due to relativistic effects fucking up its electron binding energies. Stupid substance.
If you somehow asked a genie to get you a gram of Francium in a sealed vial so you could do an experiment with it, the genie would just give it to you because the enormous amount of radioactivity it produces would instantly vaporize the sample and cook you alive. Absolute dogshit isotope and its synthetic siblings are just the same but worse
found the guy
As a chemist, I agree that Francium is a stupid and useless element. Even the Royal Society of Chemistry agrees.
if they’re allowed to keep republishing the same booktok romances with different coloured clipart then everybody should be allowed to do magic school without being compared to h*rry p*tter. actually i think every queer writer should write magic school at least once just out of spite. take her out by numbers alone
one of my favorite things about my job that i can say to people that sounds utterly ridiculous but is technically 100% true is that one of our sea turtles keeps trying to get me to commit a felony on her behalf and gets SUPER cranky when i won’t do it
this is because she is spoiled rotten and LOVES head and shell scritches. every time i go to the tank she’s in to collect water samples while she happens to be awake and swimming near the surface, she sees my hand enter the water and immediately comes over to try and get my attention, headbutting the dive platform and splashing water at me and generally making a huge fuss.
unfortunately, because she is also a ~100yr old green sea turtle, i legally cannot touch her. she’s a protected species, and a fairly prominent individual at that, and im not one of the aquarists who dives into that tank NOR am i a vet, so i’m not among the handful of people who are ALLOWED to give her scratchies. she knows all of the divers personally, and knows that i am not one of them. she doesn’t care. she wants attention and because she’s the specialest princess in the entire universe she will do anything in her power to get it.
she also throws a big ol tantrum when i end up not petting her. she’ll stick up her head to snort water at me, slap at the platform and ladder with her fins, and then swim under the dive platform and bump her shell against the bottom — she’s a 500lb turtle, which is a lot of weight for her to be throwing around. i usually have to move pretty quick to get off the platform and onto solid ground cuz there have been times where i’ve genuinely felt like i was about to lose my balance and REALLY didn’t want to end up falling into the tank.
^ myrtle, throwing a tantrum because she was unsuccessful at peer pressuring me into violating the endangered species act
okay wait i went back and screenshotted some (most?) of the good ones that were like on the main plot here so you all saw the top posts with the Irish Stegosaurus well that evolved into
also kind of unrelated but because of this stupid subreddit im actually not as bad at identifying flags
anyways sorry for the long post i just really loved this whole thing
Guys, Elon released his stupid AI on Twitter and the first thing his idiot devotees did was ask it if trans women are really women and they are losing it over getting the correct answer back.
Now it’s recounting Elon’s lies for people too
This may be the only AI bot I’ve ever liked.
they don’t tell you this but grok is pronounced so that it rhymes with woke
I’m going to Constantinople, that shit better not be Istanbul
Real shit
You know I know I reblogged this already with a joke but—
Re the tags “transphobic parents visiting their out adult children,” it’s even MORE appropriate because we do actually know why Istanbul is no longer Constantinople. It’s because the name came from Constantine, a Roman emperor who converted to Christianity in the third century and immediately decided it was the state religion for the entire Holy Roman Empire—hence the name of that.
Thing is, he was a complete warmonger and also Türkiye hasn’t had a Christian majority in over five hundred years. The predominant religion in Türkiye is Islam—90% of voting-age people in Türkiye are Sunni Muslim—and in the third century when Constantine pulled his shit, most of the people there were pagans. Instanbul was renamed to remove the name of a force that was oppressive and no longer appropriate.
[image: Tumblr tag: #transphobic parents visiting their out adult children]
This young man you thought was your daughter Has a new name (Sam; he’s named for your father) So before you say ‘now where is my daughter?’ He’s the kid you recall, barely changed at all.
Trust me ma’am, you won’t want to bother Saying ‘you’re no son,’ if so, you’re no mother He’s afraid today, cause you’re coming over, And he’s telling you what he’s done
Now, you wouldn’t call Aunt Peggy ‘Margeret’ We all know she hates that name. Promise you, Sammy feels the same
So run that back: you don’t have a daughter, Got a son named Sam, and you are his mother If you can’t take that, then don’t even bother
And I’m sorry to say it but it’s true, He’ll be who is without you.
And I’m sorry to
say it but it’s true, He’ll be
who is without you.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
I found this LGBT Catholic flag on Reddit. The creator for it is getting dogpiled over there but is resolute in keeping it up.
There are also many other flags included in the source.
Not bad but yeeaah..
ALSO it somehow implies the intersex are the head of the church, which is fun
Intersex Pope NOW!!!!!!!!
Intersex Pope NOW!!!!!!
[ Attempt at an improved ID: A rainbow striped flag with a white triangle on the lefthand side, On the outside is,in order from in to out surrounding the triangle is a yellow,pink,brown,and black band. Inside the triangle are silver and gold keys tied together with red string,forming a cross where the keys interect. Above the keys is a purple ring. End ID. ]
I see jokes about the Panera lemonade but no guys.. it actually killed someone.
The guy NEVER had caffeine due to health issues. He loved going to that Panera and they did not warn him. He had no way to know where was like a level of 380mg of caffeine in his drink. The equivalent of drinking like 4 redbulls if I remember correctly. The FDA recommends 400mg as the level max per day. (A shot of expresso is 65mg for context)
Panera KILLED this man with what he thought was a simple regular lemonade.
Apparently it ALSO killed a young girl with a heart condition
STOP BUYING THIS DRINK FOR A MEME
That’s the thing!! You can REFILL THESE DEATH DRINKS. They’re already close to the daily limit with ONE and people can get two or three times that easily???
And people are buying MORE due to the memes caused by the deaths of people instead of holding them accountable.
This will kill more people and encourage other companies to jump on the meme train for profit
Do NOT let them do to these people what they did to the McDonald’s coffee woman. Do not let them try and sweep this under the rug
Panera what the fuck.
I need everyone to understand this drink killed 2 people who didn’t know how much caffeine was in the drink because no Panera employee warned them and it was only AFTER the deaths that Panera made a sign warning people of the amount of caffeine in the drinks and this is what they look like:
Well, we know what flavors the drink comes in…
A 20 ounce cup of strawberry lemon mint has 260 milligrams of caffeine and a 30 ounce cup has 390 milligrams of caffeine,
a 20 ounce cup of mango yuzu citrus has 260 milligrams of caffeine and a 30 ounce cup has 389 milligrams of caffeine,
a 20 ounce cup of blood orange has 245 milligrams of caffeine and and 30 ounce cup has 368 milligrams of caffeine.
One shot of espresso has 63 milligrams of caffeine.
One 250 milliliter can of Red Bull has 80 milligrams of caffeine.
One 250 milliliter can of Monster has 166 milligrams of caffeine.
Panera’s charged lemonade has more caffeine than Red Bull and Monster combined.
Its so mind boggling. They could have EASILY come up with a deal with one of the energy drink brands to make Lemonade with some Caffeine but its also something where only the employees can pour it or it comes in a can. Ya know, so people don’t drink it unaware that its like 5 coffees in a trench coat.
Also just a reminder: caffeine IS addictive and you CAN have an overdose and have things such as seizures because of it.
please don’t reblog this post a devilish temptress tricked me into making it and she placed a hex upon it so that every reblog removes a molecule from my body
getting incredibly tired of westerners responding to firsthand accounts shared by palestinians in gaza with the reflexive demand to see a “source”
because by source, they always mean a western news report
never mind, of course, that international journalists are banned from entering gaza; the word of the western journalist, writing in passive voice about a genocide 6000 miles away, is still deemed more ‘reliable’ than the firsthand accounts shared by the victims living through that same genocide
a palestinian shares a video of an IOF solider brutalizing civilians in gaza? not good enough; they still need a “source.” the video in question was posted by a palestinian journalist? okay cool, but does someone have a more reliable source? can we get a word in from the esteemed fact-checkers over at the new york crimes, or the iraq-has-wmds-post? we just don’t want to spread misinformation…
![Q: Is [____] content allowed on Tumblr?
A: Starting Dec 21, [____] no.](../media/b792741fba41d8923b2da5523d052d8efb29e167.jpg)
