We’re getting dirty in the dungeons with a pthumeru cup
She’s got that evil pussy. She’s got that beast pussy. She’s got that something-that’s-living-under-the-streets pussy. I double dip with my threaded cane, but I side-step after. I’ve been keeping my eyes peeled, and there’s something in the rafters. It’s a vicious she-wolf; her eyes are bloodshot and mean. Im readying my weapon but she’s pulling on my jeans. The wolf says “stay out of hemwick, girl, those witches know how to hex.” I say “I know what I’m into honey, this is bloodborne sex”
Mad cause my swag is deceptively lovecraftian in nature
thinking of when I had a dream I was an aging white father of 3 kids and my weeping wife was begging me to not leave (I don’t know why I was leaving her) and as I walked out the front door of our suburban home I turned around in my khakis and said “I’m sorry, but I have to go now and….I’m never coming back. I love you” and then woke up like
Remember this viral post? Wanda and Jamal and her husband Lonnie are the most wholesome people, this story brought tears to my eyes originally and I am crying once more learning from Jamal’s social media that Lonnie has sadly passed away.
Rest in Peace, Lonnie :(
Whenever I lose faith in humanity, I remember these four lovely folks and feel a little better 🥺
i love Tumblr bc its like just having your own apartment. personal echo chamber. came from reddit where i could scarcely have conversation or say anything i want and everything that caught traction had to be a meme or trendy or some shit. twitter is the closest to this feeling but anything you say over there is so scrutinized. i can say anything here and anyone who calls me out has to come into my house and face my baseball bat
wheezing okay just so everyone knows. I too love semantic drift but that’s not what’s happening here. This is in fact a deliberate joke about semantic drift. this is not a scene from a 1940s film noir this is a scene from the 1995 sitcom The Nanny. This is on purpose!!
So LGBTQ+ is now completely illegal in Russia. I wonder if anyone going to talk about that. I’m so tired
I really try to keep politics and more personal stuff out of my blog because that’s my escapism website but I really can’t NOT talk about it
Russian Supreme Court just banned “LGBT+ movement” as extremist. It’s basically illegal now. I saw the news when I wasn’t home and I spend next 2h trying not to cry before I actually get home
I’m russian and I’m asexual. I’m maybe non-binary and sapphic, I’m still figuring it out.
And I can’t say that I love my country. I disagree with lots of its politics and laws, but. I was born here. I was raised here and I live here and it’s home. My home, which, apparently, hates my existence. I wish I could really, fully hate it back but I can’t. It’s home.
I get that most of the world doesn’t really care about russians right now because well. We are the bad guys. But please, talk about russian queers. I don’t know what else to say. We exist. We want to matter at least to someone.
Love that they put “a sense of impending doom” as one of the symptoms of a heart attack, like girl, that’s just how it is to be alive these days, you’re gonna have to be more specific
This made me chuckle but after scrolling away I felt the need to come back to it.
Because as someone who has felt this I can not stress how different it actually is from anxiety. Which is saying a lot because I have a massive anxiety disorder.
I’ve only felt this twice in my life - once when I was going into kidney failure due to an infection and again when my body was going into shock due to dehydration and malnourishment due to GI issues - and I can not stress how much it saved my life. It’s hard to even put it into words. It’s not like a panic attack, or anxiety. It is a horrific gut turning feeling of absolute dread.
Especially if you have anxiety you’ll know the difference honestly. It’s so much worse. It’s every cell in your body and your brain screaming that there’s something horribly wrong in a way you’ve never felt. It’s your brain screaming out that you are going to die in a way no panic attack has ever done before.
I can not stress how important it is to get yourself to the ER if you feel this way. Especially if your having other physical symptoms.
This is amazing and incredibly helpful, oh my god. Thank you.
Seconding the above : I was going into shock from internal bleeding, and that sense of “something is gravely wrong” was entirely different from my day-to-day whirlwind of anxiety.
For me, it was very quiet. For me, there was a deep sense that I could just lie down on the floor and not have to ever get up again, no effort required.
That combined wrongness/relief was so weird and so unsettling that I drove myself to the ER.
The “impending” part is really key to that symptom, I think, based on my experience. It’s not the existential dread of late-stage capitalism grinding the world into nurdles. It’s a ghost crow on your shoulder whispering “it’s here, it’s now.”
Impending doom is also a feature of anaphylaxis, something I’m intimately familiar with as someone with mast cell dysfunction.
For me, its the overwhelming, near calm certainty of doom that distinguishes it from the jittery panic of “but something could go wrong.”
There’s no “what if?” There’s no room to question it. It just IS. And it’s very different from the “calm” of disassociation too. I’m not disassociated from myself when it happens. I’m probably actually the most present ever.
I’ve turned to doctors and told them calmly and with utter certainty “I am going to die” and the reaction that calm certainty gets is immediate intervention because doctors also recognize that stillness as the body not bothering to waste any time on fight or flight and just going straight to “death is imminent due to some internal failing, act accordingly.”
When I was lying in bed recovering from a hit to the head, I remember a moment in the middle of the night where I went from a sorta half asleep state to being instantly wide awake and feeling, with absolutely certainty, that I was about to die. It was dead silent in my head other than that thought, screaming at me that Something Is Wrong, something is Terribly Wrong. It was like I could feel the dread seeping into my bones, my chest, like I could see it in the back of my eyes, sense it around the corner. Everything was going haywire, like a train was blowing its whistle and I was on the track and my body was trying to get me to Move Dammit.
I called emergency services and tried to explain what I’m feeling. I thought I would be written off, but when I started describing the feeling, immediately the dispatcher sent paramedics to my apartment. Good thing too, as I had a stroke in the ambulance.
Impending doom is real, and a defense mechanism created by the brain to get you to get medical help for something that you cannot handle by yourself, and as someone with panic disorders, it is wildly different and arguably even more terrifying than any attack I’ve ever had.
Oooh oooh! I had this when my kidneys gave out after having been backed up and infected for a couple years!!!!
It was this “Something is Wrong” feeling and it is very difficult to describe just how urgent and different it feels from the usual “Whelp, I’m going to die.” feeling anxiety has.
I got to the ER in time and they slapped antibiotics on me before even knowing what was wrong, and I felt better by the next morning but I was thisclose to dying.
The danger feels so real, and it has driven me to the ER a couple of times because there was no way my body could feel this cold, this hot, this shaky, this fast, this full of dread, and for something to not be wrong.
And there was something wrong. My body was flooded with all kinds of stress hormones in response to trauma. It was my brain misfiring and insisting we had to run because there was a metaphorical tiger stalking me through the tall grass, and we needed to get away now, now, now.
I still experience episodes like this – largely due to the repeated trauma of almost dying several times, but while I know the danger feels real (and that there could be something else wrong with me, I do not dismiss that), I am now also in a unique position to know that this feeling is not what they mean when they talk about Impending Doom.
Even when I’ve been detached and disassociated from myself or had psychosis from medication interactions, part of me still knew on some level that I was panicking, and I was alive enough to panic.
Impending Doom is not like that.
There is no franticness to impending doom. No room for questions. It just is. It’s in every cell of your body; every piece of your brain resonates with it. There’s no anxiety. There’s no panic. There’s no fear. There’s no fight, flight, or freeze. You’re just certain.
I know it sounds trite to say it, but you will know because there is no way to mistake it for anything else.
You are going to die, it’s a fact, and you are eerily calm about it.
Like I don’t think words can ever fully express how still everything feels. How still you feel as a person. It’s like your body just shuts everything else off but in a very present and coherent way.
I had a doctor friend tell me once it’s a bit like the uncanny valley of calmness. No one should be able to look at you and describe what they’re feeling at that moment with that level of calm certainty. If they do, something is very, very wrong, and it pings a sense of urgency that you don’t always see in the ER, even when someone’s sitting in the corner holding their detached finger on ice.
Sorry. I feel like this is a lot of inane repetition on my part. But hopefully, it helps somewhat. It really is such a unique experience words can’t do it justice.
thinking about that one wordless calvin and hobbes sunday strip thats just calvins dad ditching his work to go play in the snow… its going to make me cry
yea this is Montreal, do you want to know how bad Montreal drivers are? only on the island of Montreal, is it illegal to make a right turn on a red light. because they don’t fucking look. it’s the only place I’ve ever been that has lost it’s “turning on a red light” privilege
but yea powdered snow is slippery af and the island is hilly and full of narrow streets. not designed for wheeled vehicles.
I need to reblog myself because I just found this on the gov of Quebec’s website
This is so funny. That’s one of the bus routes I take. I literally take this exact bus
Had a panic attack at work last night and this clerk noticed and he got really close and said “hey look at me, just you and me” and then kept talking like normal and I looked away again and he stopped and more firmly said “look.at.me.” and it made me a lil wet ngl
Yeah this guy blew my back out this morning, follow your dreams everyone
He has decided he’s gonna do a fortnite emote after every time we fuck actually maybe reel your dreams in a little
Everyone’s a critic
Yeah we’ve been dating for a hot minute now and I know a lot more Fortnite dances tho so it turns out gamer IS sexually transmitted
Its due to actor contracts/star appeal most of tiem apparently. Can’t have faces covered too long apparently
…okay now I want a film where most of the action is in space suits colored like power rangers outfits to tell them apart.
This is the perfect idea for use of unknown actors - first roles, people who can body-act well. If they need dialogue, dub voice actors over them. Unknown physical actors combined with well-known, celebrated animation voice actors.
Like, “Okay, the purple astronaut is voiced by Tress McNeil! I think the green one is Mark Hammil? Is the white-suit Jonny Yong Bosch? Oh, dude, duuuude, is that Keston John voicing Blue?”
And it’s all done in-story with sci-fi com-systems so we can hear the dialogue, but nobody’s taking off their helment in a potentially toxic or oxygen-thin or potentially space-pathogen-laden atmosphere.
maybe it could have twist where the astronauts are not human at all.
Some messages left by queer Palestinians who face annihilation by the Israeli government in their retaliation against Hamas. The Israeli government has dropped thousand of bombs, leveled streets, cut off water, gas, and electricity, bombed hospitals, ambulances, mandated evacuation and then bomb evacuees. Innocent people are dying in the mass.
There is no need for this government to employ these acts of collective punishment. The same logic that is used to condemn the acts of Hamas, should be used to condemn the actions of the Israeli government. No one deserves to slaughtered and dehumanized.
And keep in mind, that this terror is not unusual for the Palestinian people, and this is another horrific event in a decades long oppression and apartheid.
You shouldn’t date or become serious friends/partners with someone if you can’t stomach the thought of being stuck in a car or train with them for 16 hours.
Here’s my logic:
You should be able to work together to solve unexpected problems like fixing a flat tire or getting lost in an unfamiliar station
You should feel comfortable and safe enough around this person that you can sit in comfortable silence
You should be able to keep each other interested and deal with each others boredom in a healthy way
If you’re gonna form a long term partnership with someone you should probably be able to tolerate each other while locked in a small box for a few hours
These tags are hilarious even though I don’t think you intended them to be.
*pulls European closer* The most populous countries in the world are China, India, the United States, Indonesia, Pakistan, Nigeria, and Brazil in that order, with these seven nations alone making up 48.16% of the world population. You may note with the aid of a map that many of these nations are quite large, and would take several days of travel to go across either in cars or on boats. Almost half of the world’s population lives in places where you can travel in a cramped vehicle for days and still be within the country. Your worldview is limited and Europe is a tiny outlier in travel time and standards for international relations.
like man doesn’t it fucking suck that there’s not really any public space. that you can’t go anywhere without spending money on food or transportation, that unless you wanna sit on a mall bench all day or browse library shelves you basically can’t do anything in public? even standing in front of a building without paying for something (“loitering”) is illegal. everything is built to punish homeless people which means if you ever want to sit down or rest or exist in public every building and park bench and windowsill is telling you to kill yourself instead. maybe that has something to do with the unpleasantness of online spaces, where everyone is shoved together into a giant digital chamber because it’s the only “public square” still available while also being isolated and alone in their room on their phone because everything sucks and a global pandemic is still happening. like I’m just saying I think that has more to do with how annoying people are on the internet than like mcu fanfiction
“We mistakenly believed we were executing unarmed Palestinians instead of real people”
its moments like this you really can tell that american police train with the idf
He said he was unable to answer immediately whether the three men had put their hands up or shouted to the soldiers […]
“The IDF emphasizes that this is an active combat zone in which ongoing fighting over the last few days has occurred. Immediate lessons from the event have been learned, which have been passed on to all IDF troops in the field,” Hagari said.
Israeli soldiers are now being told to “exercise additional caution” when encountering people in civilian clothes military spokesperson Lt. Col. Jonathan Conricus said Friday, after the Israel Defense Forces said it accidentally killed three Israeli hostages in Gaza.
so they are 100% just killing unarmed, surrendering civilians, and this is only being reported on because three of the civilians they executed weren’t Palestinians
Hey so my homophobic, sexist and overall cringe biological dad is coming over for christmas and i will be extra gay and give him a heart attack. He doesnt know im trans, that i changed my name etc. because frankly i dont care about him enough to tell him.
But when he comes over i will be so so so gay. Im talking wearing a dress, nail polish, makeup and all the good stuff. I wanna see him suffer. No, not spiteful at all
Hey everyone! I made a “fun” “game” to torture my friends with! Which is weird because surely everyone knows what Goku looks like? Should be pretty simple?
please don’t reblog this post a devilish temptress tricked me into making it and she placed a hex upon it so that every reblog removes a molecule from my body
Only 32% of Americans agree that “the U.S. should support Israel,” down from 41% last month. They are now fewer than those saying “the U.S. should be a neutral mediator,” which rose from 27% to 39%.
Americans oppose sending weapons to Israel, 43%-31%.
68% agree that “Israel should call a ceasefire and try to negotiate,” including ¾ths of Democrats and half of Republicans.
USAmericans: Now is the time to apply pressure to your elected representatives. It’s an open secret that Washington is only allowing this because they think their propaganda can keep us down for another few months/years. Let Genocide Joe know he’s losing votes by the millions.
my favorite thing about this post is all the people who chose to use the default icon defending themselves in the notes like no stop it just put a picture up
Loving this energy
*wipes tear* they learn tumblr culture so fast … the spite … the malicious compliance of it all … I’m so proud
Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.
I have been waiting for this post all my life.
They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.
Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”
A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.
So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?
My friend you’re not wrong
About Homer’s wine-ey sea!
Colours are a matter
Of cultural contingency;
Words are in flux
And meanings they drift
But the word purple
You’ve given short shrift.
The concept of purple,
My friends, is old
And refers to a pigment
once precious as gold.
By crushing up molluscs
From the wine-dark sea
You make a dye:
Imperial decree
Meant that in Rome,
to wear purpura was a privilege reserved
For only the emperor!
The word ‘purple’,
for clothes so fancy,
Entered English
By the ninth century
.
Why then are voilets
Not purple in song?
The dye from this mollusc,
known for so long
Is almost magenta;
More red than blue.
The concept of purple
is old, and yet new.
The dye is red,
So this might be true:
Roses are purple
And violets are blue
.
While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.
But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.
There are, in fact, words
That rhyme with purple
It’s just that they’re things
Like “hirple” and “curple
.
And before someone says that “violets are violet”
Do you think someone could make a good love poem with the word “inviolate”?
Since ultraviolet has the word “violet” within it
That’s the only (singular) word left to be writ
.
At least, it is as far as I know
To find these words I used a site called Rhymezone
Perhaps some words were lost to the snow
Perhaps they were not, and I’ll just have to atone
all stories are about time loops, except for time loops, which are about grief
No but seriously, that’s why we use present tense to summarize plots. If you open a book to chapter one and the character is going to the store, the character will be going to the story every time you reread it, so it’s happening in real time for them. You are the only one who can make the character move forward
Yep. It also correlates extremely strongly with an increasing decrease of violent crime. One of the symptoms of low level constant lead exposure is increased aggression and volatility.
Gas companies are still so mad at him he’s “unknown scientist”, know his name
Daily reminder that health and safety standards like these are what politicians mean when they talk about “deregulation.”
Patterson died 5 December 1995.
Petition to make his date of death a Tumblr holiday celebrated by talking about cool shit the gas and petroleum industries don’t want us to know about, and fighting to continue his work.
Happy Clair Cameron Patterson Day! Remember to hold Big Business and our country’s leadership for safety regulation and environmental preservation standards!
one of the greatest tragedies in life is that you will always be loved more than you will ever know. someone in class finds your presence inviting and warm, even if you’ve only ever exchanged a few words with them—maybe none at all. someone on the street loves your smile and it gets them down the next few streets. someone you used to be friends with still wishes to fondly call your name. someone you used to be friends with five years ago would give anything to be in the same room as you today. someone who regularly comes into work is disappointed when you aren’t there to brighten their day. someone missed you today. someone noticed you were gone. someone loves you when you’re there; someone loves you when you’re nowhere to be found at all. you think you have always disappeared when you’re no longer in the picture, but you’ve never left the frame.
bro are you okay you reblogged the post about being loved fifteen times again
I will reblog this as often as people need to understand this
I will reblog this
as often as people need
to understand this
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
You go into a creepy mansion and there’s a cloaked figure learning how to play the organ from a YouTube tutorial on their phone. You leave them to it.
I want this to be an Easter egg for speed runners in a video game. You normally find the boss playing the organ if you play for the normal like 20+ hours that you would be required in a standard playthrough, but if you horse tilt noclip through the castle in BK mode you find the boss taking a piano lesson.
no one did clowns like pratchett. sure “the fool jingled miserably across the floor” but that’s just the tip of the iceberg….imagine alluding to a character’s tragic backstory and deep repression of his true nature and heavily implying he might be a vampire before revealing the identity he’s been battling against all book is actually just a literal circus clown
like this quote is so metal considering it is yelled in a courtroom in a book about the corruption of banks but ive never been more terrified of a man in a massive red elastic nose before. one well thrown custard pie nearly brought down an entire government.
Hey i think an important addition is that in discworld, the training that clowns go through is brutal and akin to a harsh boot camp
The Fool’s Guild is next to the Assassin’s Guild. This is frequently used to humorously contrast the two, as one is a brutal, oppressive institution that serves questionable purpose and spreads naught but misery, whereas the other promotes tradition, innovation and artistic expression via killing people for money.
ALT
ALT
