his name is redd white and he runs a company named bluecorp we dont ask questions here
if you mix redd white and bluecorp together like paint you’d get a light purple or pink depending on ratios. we’re just not on his level. we never will be.
His hair is purple which is red and blue
His suit is pink which is red and white
And his jewels are light blue which is blue and white.
his shirt is beige there’s something going on
he’s a murderer also I think that’s worth mentioning
This needs to be added though this post is so damn old
I’m going to the grocery store does anyone want to sublet my apartment for 45 minutes
How much
Only 3400
hot damn 🏃♂️ cmon guys lets go 🏃♂️🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🐕🧞♀️
ok I’m back you and your boyfriend and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your dog and your djinn can go
knight burlesque performance where he brings on a squire to help him take off each individual garment. the helmet stays on. squire is stone-faced and professional.
duo of knights doing a burlesque performance where they make (presumably) sensual eye contact while their respective squires help them take off their armour. the helmets stay on. the performance lasts twenty whole minutes. is this anything
muffled yet suggestive clanking from outside the club
I think the most humiliating object in the world is the Fleshlight sleeve warmer
Its only purpose is to slide into your fleshlight and get it to body temp. It’s $30. I want to get every single man who owns one of these into one room and make them do long-form improv
and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND
I didn’t know about zeugmas until just now! That is so awesome, everybody:
zeug·ma
ˈzo͞oɡmə/
noun
a figure of speech in which a word applies to two others in different senses (e.g.,John and his license expired last week ) or to two others of which it semantically suits only one (e.g., with weeping eyes and hearts ).
This is infinitely funnier when you realize the OP is a Hamilton fan who shipped Thomas Jefferson or w/e and responded that he doesn’t count as a real person because he’s dead.
THIS IS STILL SO FUNNY I WANNA THANK THE RANDOM PERSON THAT LURKED THROUGH MY BLOG TO REBLOG THIS ABSOLUTE GEM.
England doesn’t have its own Parliament because it’s all seen as being at ‘UK level’ so communities and constituencies get ignored.
England’s lack of decentralisation makes it harder for other parties to gain a foothold in any sort of local politics as everything is funnelled through the two party system of Tories vs Labour.
The UK breaking up wouldn’t be an end to cooperation between the countries here. At the moment the two parties can point fingers and blame the dastardly SNP or Plaid Cymru for agitating the balance of politics.
If the UK weren’t to exist, England would hopefully get to have a moment of self-reflection and decide what country it wants to be.
Maybe parents who put their children through conversion therapy should be criminalised?
Also, we shouldn’t listen to the Catholic Church when it comes the child safeguarding.
I could not make sense of the headline so I tried to contextualise it with images and the only thing I could come up with is “bagpipes change your gender”.
And I was like…that doesn’t make sense. But then again….neither did that headline. It isn’t a ban against “questions”. You can question it, hate it, maybe even make it an issue to disown over. You just wouldn’t be able to abuse your children through conversion therapy.
The Catholic church is arguing that forcing cisgender boys to wear kilts is conversion therapy to make them transgender because it’s a skirt. And thus it will be illegal under the new law.
Because they want to ensure conversion therapy is something they can keep doing, and making ridiculous and specious arguments is about the only ammo the Church has ever had.
so once again catholics are shitting on scottish people for their culture AND being transphobic about it.
despite the fact that scots have worn kilts for literal hundreds of years without magically making them all trans.
Sorry to disappoint all of you but that’s not what the Catholic Church is arguing. The photo of the boy in a kilt is not connected with the headline, there’s a thin separating line that separates the two stories.
The front cover is definitely an editing disaster, but yeah, the stories are separate.
The teenager at my job is so funny, she jokingly asked how my break was after I came back from the bathroom and after I said “can’t a bitch change their pad in peace?” She said “a real nine to fiver would get a hysterectomy.” There was no hesitation, no gap between what I said and what she said
I thought “pretentious” was supposed to refer to attempts at depth that end up grating and sophomoric because they don’t know what they’re talking about (been there), not just any attempt at depth whatsoever
This is a massive red flag in cities where people move around a lot, not so much in small towns. When I wanted to know more about my husband, living in a small town, I asked around. I got stories about him, his mom, every job he’s ever worked, half the girlfriends he had (weird), how he acted in high-school, how he was around kids, WAY more information than I needed. When I lived in Southern California, if I wanted to know who a person was, but they’re from out of state or even two cities over and I don’t know anyone who knew them, I’d check their social media. Partially to see if they’re terminally online and wasting their life away as an influencer, partially to see if they have other people in their life thay they’re accountable to (family, close friends, etc). It’s less about “show me your whole life every day” and more about “who in the heck is this person at all” because you can lie to my face, it’s harder to completely lie on social media connected to family and old friends unless you’re really trying, it’s even harder to lie to a whole community that’s known you your whole life.
It’s not a red flag at all to be off social media and the idea that you should be able to get to know someone outside of talking to them is disturbing. You don’t have that right.
Social media has rotted peoples brains so much that some people truly believe the only way to get to know someone is through their online representation of themselves. If you don’t want to talk to strangers then don’t talk to strangers but social media isn’t a good gauge for someone’s personality, let alone their true lifestyle. It’s all a facade. Also laughable to say it’s “harder to lie online” fbdbdb like what? That’s easiest place to lie about who you are.
Imo the most important thing a writer (or any artist) can be is earnest. You can have no technical skill whatsoever and write a complete stinker and you’ll still have a story some readers will fall in love with, so long as they can tell you really meant it and really gave it a shot. Everything else is artifice.
Why am I forbidden from leaving my island unless I give the boatman a passport saying I got permission. And why is the permission cost $100. Why won’t u just let me leave
To this day people will cry over the knowledge and works destroyed when the library of Alexandria was burned down.
And yet no tears are shed as Palestinian archives and libraries are bombed.
Saint Porphyrius Church, built in 1150 and the 3rd oldest church in the world has been bombed.
It’s not an accident.
Israel aren’t simply killing Palestinians, they are trying to erase that there ever were Palestinians in the first place.
Destroying their livelihoods, trying to to destroy their culture and history and pretend this land was never there’s.
It’s easy to deny someone’s existence when there’s no record of them.
Which is why it’s so important to look at the atrocities and bear witness to what’s happening.
But to also recognise that Palestine is more than it’s suffering.
There is a living breathing culture, of art, history, literacy which all come from the Palestinians.
Traditions they’ve carried for centuries.
So while we mourn the dead, we shall fight for the living. Fight for the preservation of their crafts, amplify their voices as they speak on their culture.
Palestinian history and culture is alive. And no matter how much the world wants to erase that, they cannot and will not.
I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click
And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”
So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is
“No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”
I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:
“Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”
I accidentally called the director of the FBI.
My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.
This is my new favourite story.
When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.
There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server.
The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors.
During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”
So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound.
I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.
So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…
“Uh… Is Shantavia there?”
It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.
There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.
The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring.
Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.
But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started.
Seriously, this is legit.
In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline. Here’s the ad they posted.
Only problem is, they misprinted the number. And the number they printed? It went straight through to fucking NORAD. This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay. NORAD was the front line.
And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD. Oh no no no.
Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red
one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the
number,” she says.
“This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War,
and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on
the United States,” Rick says.
The red phone rang one day in
December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a
small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ”
His
children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was
annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then,
Terri says, the little voice started crying.
“And Dad realized
that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him,
ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your
mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper
yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad
looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had
children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the
phones to act like Santa Claus.”
“It got to be a big joke at the command center. You
know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering
Santa calls,’ ” Terri says.
And then, it got better.
“The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and
Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam
says.
“And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was
a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,”
Rick says.
“Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re
sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’
Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called
the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat
Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks
like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour
and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says.
For real.
“And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people
saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor.
And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a
briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she
says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s
known for.”
“Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.”
So yeah. I think that might be the best wrong number of all time.
a video game where you’re playing a government module-ed secunit could do SOOOOO much with the idea of character agency and the very idea of quest markers. not doing something or doing something too slow would make you take damage. careful interpretations of the quest log to avoid punishment. make it frustrating to play. diegetically justifying the format of a strictly linear shooter.
BUT THEN second act comes. your government module is hacked. this is now an open world game with almost no guidance. job sim elements, detective elements. learning new skills, new interactions. there HAS to be a section towards the end where the govt module is enabled again. back to the restrictions. remind the player JUST how much they’ve learned they can do by taking it away. regaining agency should make the player weep with relief akin to solving a complicated puzzle or difficult boss.
the mandatory motion of slavery vs the paralyzing freedom of choice.
a video game where you’re playing a government module-ed secunit could do SOOOOO much with the idea of character agency and the very idea of quest markers. not doing something or doing something too slow would make you take damage. careful interpretations of the quest log to avoid punishment. make it frustrating to play. diegetically justifying the format of a strictly linear shooter.
BUT THEN second act comes. your government module is hacked. this is now an open world game with almost no guidance. job sim elements, detective elements. learning new skills, new interactions. there HAS to be a section towards the end where the govt module is enabled again. back to the restrictions. remind the player JUST how much they’ve learned they can do by taking it away. regaining agency should make the player weep with relief akin to solving a complicated puzzle or difficult boss.
the mandatory motion of slavery vs the paralyzing freedom of choice.
