the-haiku-bot:

autopygmalion:

White Boy Orders In FLUENT C++, SHOCKS Trans Woman Barista

White Boy Orders In

FLUENT C++, SHOCKS Trans

Woman Barista

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

trapny:

ur-daily-inspiration:

You are very wise, sun man.

trapny:

i-am-a-fish:

HEY.

are you scrolling [tumblr] instead of sleeping?

idiot. clown. I cast sleepy spell on you. fuck you. sweet dreams ily

Ok I am taking this as a sign. Goog night evyone

mysharona1987:

astrologylunarfish:

Rules for living in winter

From: 3rdritual

ofthedarkwoods:

ALT

ALT

Edit: IM SO FUCKING TIRED OF IGNORANCE

mindofthemage:

PSA: James Somerton silently reactivated his patreon.

If you were ever a patreon and missed your chance remove your membership, now is the time.

It’s a pretty scummy move tbh considering a lot of people probably thought their membership automatically got removed.

greyhound-with-a-mega-wizard-hat:

debelice:

Shark Enjoying some sea grass…….

@blacktipreefsharkwizarding

aylin-hijabi-deactivated2024020:

Based on Israel’s security assessment, so it’s not “Hamas propaganda”

Why did they open fire on the festival? Soon, they’ll say it was to attack Hamas terrorists, so they can attack Israeli citizens and blame Hamas. It’s highly unlikely that hamas killed so many people, and launched that big of an attack without Israel detecting it for a year prior. And yet they apparently know every place where hamas is hiding. There are lies here somewhere.

strixcattus:

…And now I’m thinking about the time travel conlang and how I might want that to work.

I looked up the phrase just to see if I could get inspiration from other time travel–related languages and found Mpiua Tiostouea, the language of all time. It’s got some neat concepts, though it was designed to have an… interesting… phonology and I’d definitely make some different choices—which is good! It means I won’t be copying ideas when I make my own conlang.

A conlang for time travellers needs to be able to express some complex and seemingly self-contradictory tenses. For instance, I might tell you this sentence:

“After I go to my date with the time worm, I’ll text you how it went.”

Except today is Thursday, and my date with the time worm, which I’m going to tomorrow, is Wednesday (yesterday), and I plan on jumping again afterwards, but I’m not sure in which direction or how long it’ll take me to get around to texting you, and at any rate you only experience time forwards and will certainly receive the text in the next few subjective and objective days.

…Also, while I, the person talking to you, am going to be going to the date and sending the text, I’m not dating the time worm—the date is between myself from three years into the future (as opposed to an alternate version of myself whom I never have been and never will be), I’m spying on it, and also the time worm experiences all of time simultaneously in every universe and thus has no time clones or past/future selves.

…And the groupchat has like three versions of you in it.

A properly time travel–inclusive language should encode all of these things efficiently through the use of creative agreements, pronouns, and tenses.

It should also be inclusive towards people who experience time in reverse. Not those who’ve lived backwards all their lives—they can learn any language just fine, the same way everyone else does—but people who’ve found themselves temporarily moving the wrong way through time, despite having learned the language forwards. I think this can be settled by having two acceptable word orderings—one the reflection of the other—and employing asymmetrical particles that indicate important things like proper nouns and sentences, and maybe having a necessarily asymmetrical syllable structure.

Like CV. Every syllable necessarily has one consonant followed by one vowel, unless you’re experiencing time backwards relative to your conversation partner, in which case all their speech will sound to you like every syllable is VC, and the same from you to them. That ought to work and to be simple enough that anyone, with any native language from anywhere across time, can pick it up with relative ease.

Then we get to pronouns. Mpieua Tiostoeia has an impressive set of seven grammatical persons, numbered 1–7. I understand and respect the reasoning behind such a choice (and a dedicated grammatical person for antimemes is pretty darn cool), but I’d rather go in the opposite direction:

1st person: I, the one talking to you.
1.5th person: Me, but a different instance of me than the one talking to you.
2nd person: You, the one listening to me.
2.5th person: A different instance of you than the one listening to me.
3rd person: That guy, the one I’m pointing to.
3.5th person: That guy, but an instance of them that’s not right here.
4th person: The time worm, which experiences all of time and the multiverse simultaneously.

…Which coincidentally is also seven grammatical persons.

Due to the need to stress subjective and objective time experience for multiple entities, basically everything that can take agreement will agree with the person and gender of whatever it can agree with—most crucially, verbs, which might include tense markings that have to agree with any number of people:

“I’m having a party with these guys last week, do you want to come?”

Where I’m going to the party in the future and inviting you to come along in your subjective future (while acknowledging you may have already been), but some of the people I’m gesturing to have already been to the party and others have yet to go. Also one of them is the time worm. I think this party might be where we met… will meet.. whichever. Both.

Now, when I say gender, I don’t mean male vs. female. Time travellers can come from any timeline. Some of them have only one acknowledged gender. Others have three. A few have as many as sixteen, or even more. Some of them plot gender on a four-dimensional spectrum encoded in the phonology of their gender pronouns. The only way to please everyone’s idea of what gender trappings deserve encodement is to encode them all equally—that is to say, not at all.

Besides, we’re all time travellers here. I don’t need to specify how you identify with each word. I want to know if this is you, or your future self, or your evil alternate universe self. That’s the kind of gender I’m concerned with.

Which means you can have a mixed-gender group (the three versions of you in the groupchat) that needs to be referred to with… essentially, it’d be something like you (2sg) and you (2.5pl), where you (2.5pl) is gendered both for your past self and for your alternate universe self, which are two different genders.

I think this ought to be my next conlang project. It’s been way too long since I really got into one—right now, Yvelse is my only conlang that’s not either dead or been in cold storage for the past year+.

apolladay:

Can you parallel park?

yes

no

I don’t drive

See Results

queen-mihai:

supreme-leader-stoat:

whalesharkpasta:

I just saw a man sitting on the foot path with 4 perfect even spaced pigeons all sitting in the same pose like they were together like this

I love it

beardedmrbean:

syntactition:

catasters:

[small gasp] the phantom

Sing my angel of music

typicalbrainchaos:

Today, Dr. Hani Al-Haitham, head of the Shifa Hospital’s emergency department, was murdered, along with his wife, Dr. Sameera Ghifari, & their 5 children: Shireen, Tia, Sameer, Wafa & Sara.

In the video, he is holding a week old baby that was not yet named and was the only one saved from an airstrike.

a-sentient-cup:

snailfarts:

catasters:

@official-megumin

depsidase:

bowenoke:

bowenoke:

getting a lot of tags from straight people who are confused about how to just compliment people’s hair so i promise that when you’re not trans it’s just like this. its fine

fraterrisus:

yo-its-matt:

oneheadtoanother:

it sure fucking is buddy

one of the most signs ever

qsycomplainsalot:

rainthetrain:

itsforexposure:

copperbadge:

copperbadge:

copperbadge:

Me for the last 15 years: Starting a timer when you have to wait for something or stand in line can be helpful, because no matter how impatient you feel you can check the timer and remind yourself it has not been several eternities and has in fact only been five minutes.

Me setting a timer when I got to bag claim just now: I’m so clever! I will now be reminded that it’s only been five minutes and bag claim usually takes about twenty!

Me looking at the timer thoughtfully: …another Very Neurotypical Moment With Sam, it appears.

FTR it was 17 minutes from “arriving at the bag claim” to claiming my bag, so right on time.

Someone tagged this post “#it’s all fun n games until baggage check takes over an hour” which is 100% legit; a common sentiment in notes is that sometimes you don’t want to know how long something has taken. But that is one of the reasons I started doing the stopwatch thing in the first place!

On the one hand, timing something is about reminding myself “No, it’s only been five minutes,” but it is ALSO about knowing when something is taking way longer than it should.

If I’m put into an exam room in a doctor’s office, I start a timer. Because I have been forgotten about in a doctor’s office before, I get nervous that I’ll just be sat in there forever, and the timer tells me “No, they haven’t forgotten you, it’s only been 10 minutes.” But it also tells me if I have been there longer than appropriate (generally more than 40 minutes) so that I know when it’s justifiable to flag down a nurse to find out what’s going on.

At bag claim, because I know it usually takes about 20 minutes to get my bag, I don’t get concerned until the timer passes the 20 minute mark without any bags appearing. At that point I know I need to take off my headphones and start paying attention – looking at signage, maybe asking someone if I’m at the right carousel. Maybe don’t worry yet, but start double-checking. Perhaps the delay is unavoidable and it’ll just be an hour, but at least, having asked, I KNOW it’ll be an hour, and the timer will tell me when the hour is past and I should maybe check in again.

Now, if the bags do start showing up before 20 minutes but my bag hasn’t shown up by the 40 minute mark, I know that again it’s time to put my head on a swivel, and at the 50 minute mark it’s time to go speak to someone in the baggage claim office. This has more than once helped me locate my bag when it’s accidentally been sent to the wrong part of the airport. There is no point at which, without the timer, I would go “man this is taking a long time” and then actually go ask, because I wouldn’t actually know how long it had been.

The timer both prevents me from worrying before I need to and tells me when to start worrying – essentially, because I’m both perpetually impatient and also infinitely patient, I’ve outsourced my patience to a stopwatch. And because I time a lot of things, I now know the average time a lot of things take, which helps me calibrate my concerns appropriately. Ten minutes is a long time to wait for a burger from McDonalds, but it’s actually on the short end of the time it takes to get a burger from Shake Shack. It’s not a long time to be on hold with the HR office of my old employer, but it’s longer than I’d usually be on hold with my pharmacy. Et cetera.

I know I say this all the time but I still find it hilarious that I didn’t know I had ADHD until I was forty years old.

red-queen-on-the-heathen-throne:

ellielol:

i don’t care if Cyberpunk 2077 was patched and made good. I genuinely think it’s shameful that a video game could come out that broken and win an award years later. it’s like if Morbius won an Oscar because the DVD release was good.

There’s another thing that bugs me about this, all of those “made it good” updates are so massive? There was one that was 43GB - more than half the installation size of the game. That’s fucked up.

Not everyone has an internet connection that makes this a breeze. And even if they do? This should not be a thing. I should be able to buy a game that has been in development for a decade, made by an acclaimed studio, on release day, and not worry about constantly installing dozens of gigabytes worth of patches to make the game playable. Often it’s not even optional. I do not have the choice to say “my internet sucks, I’m okay with the current state of the game, I don’t want to install this update right now”. Depending on the platform, you are being forced to sit through potentially hours of downloads, or else you can’t play the game you bought without jumping through hoops, because it will not let you.

This shouldn’t be happening. They’re selling unfinished garbage based on the vague idea that “they can always patch it later”. No. Fuck your patches and updates and “”“fixes”“” that are just you doing the basic quality control that should have happened before launch. Games cost upwards of 100€ nowadays just to get a somewhat complete base version, because of course they cut them up to sell in seventeen different editions. Make sure your expensive toys WORK, or stop charging people money to be your QA department. If you want to release an early access version so players can help you fix the game? Make it free. If you want money? Make it work. There is no eating your cake and having it, too, here.

cipheramnesia:

theoneofwhomisblue:

Unwilling wunk

Bruh you got fuckin grabbed

jubileealbum:

thoughtsformtheuniverse:

ceekari:

tlbodine:

just-evo-now:

becomingsoup:

hello everyone, hope you enjoy this lab mouse adaptation of Frankenstein; I am completely exhausted

… i saw this without the caption at first and i thought it was a lab mouse desperately trying to fix his friend who had been sacrificed

The implications of “what if Frankenstein, but mouse” are vast and deserve careful follow-up and contemplation.

@kriber

#for real though#what if we were both experimented on and we were nothing but test subjects and you were the only light in my life and I in yours#what if we saw each other through it all#what if we didn’t get to be people what if we didn’t get to determine our own fates what if we were cut into again and again#what if you died and I didn’t – a failed experiment and a successful one – what if you died and the world didn’t end#what if I said no. no. this will not stand.#what if I took all that had been done to us and I did it to others ruthlessly and without hesitation#for the slightest chance I could have you back#what if I treated them like disposable things – like we have always been treated – what if I said they don’t matter#only you do#in exactly the same way you and I have never mattered#what if I refused to let death part us#what if I pieced you back together with the flesh of our kindred and it worked and you lived#what if you were my creature and I was the monster that made you#what if you were my friend and I lost you and I got you back and I lost myself#what if I loved you to the point of atrocity#what if I pulled on the thread holding your body together and did not weep and did not know if the love was enough

#and we were both mice

tags via @aethersea because holy shit

oobbbear:

Please understand that when I say I grab you, I don’t mean grabbing your face or arm thats rude and creepy please don’t do that to anyone

When I say I grab you I’m saying it like I’m grabbing you like a potato. It’s my way of saying hey I appreciate and respect you let’s be friends

curlicuecal:

sanguine-tenshi:

curlicuetruth:

brightlotusmoon:

I found photos of those Pallas Cat kittens born this year and bye I’m deceased

why do these kittens have the exact same energy as a nest of baby owls

@curlicuetruth you are very right

valtsv:

valtsv:

my favorite fucked up character concept is probably “what if a butterfly came out of its chrysalis too early”

you could have been something beautiful. but you panicked or got interrupted and instead something horrifyingly half-finished crawled out.

punk-sharkz-zero:

i hate talking about dysphoria with cis ppl because they immediately clock it as body dysmorphia, and only as body dysmorphia. (i say only bc some trans ppl can and do experience both)

i can’t talk about how i hate how my thighs make me feel/look feminine because they always say “but you look fine!” or “i think you look amazing!” or “but you should love them!”

and it’s so hard to describe dysphoria, especially to ppl who don’t experience it, or who don’t want to understand it isn’t dysmorphia

and no matter how hard you try to explain they always try to make you love this body you have because “you should love yourself as you are!”

but i do love myself. but not quite exactly how i am. i love what i know I can be. i love knowing that one day i’ll have top surgery scars i can trace with my fingers and a scratchy beard from T. i love knowing that I can eventually do my silly little effeminate gestures without hating how it makes me look. i love knowing that eventually i can look in a mirror and grin at the man i’ve become.

but that’s not right now. i may cry a little when a shirt doesn’t fit the way it should, but i don’t hate the body that makes it that way. I may feel a pit in my stomach when I realize the way that i’m standing makes me look girly, but i don’t hate that i’m standing that way.

i don’t hate that i used to be a girl but i hate when people still think i am.

i don’t hate my body, i just hate how it isn’t what it’s supposed to be quite yet. could that make any sense to the cis folks reading this?

I am trans and I love my body, just sometimes it doesn’t love me back. and one day it will.

one-time-i-dreamt:

I made a viral meme thing that went like, “Bro doesn’t even know he’s a metaphor for _____” and it would be stuff like capitalism and alcoholics n such, I believe someone used it on me and I was a metaphor for insecurities and it messed me up a little.

raptorific:

Fourteenth Doctor forced to go grocery shopping. From a distance sees Martha Jones comparing two bottles of potato chips (or “the queen’s crisps” because they’re in the UK). Excuses himself to the produce section so he doesn’t have to answer for a bunch of stuff. Unfortunately, as he’s rounding the corner, he sees Yasmin Khan looking for a good bargain on spinach. Excuses himself to the cleaning supplies section so he doesn’t have to answer a bunch of questions about why last week he made Yaz realize she was a lesbian and told her that they couldn’t be together because she could never settle down, and then immediately turned into a gay man and retired with his heterosexual bestie. Realizing there’s no way out of the store without passing one or both of them, he simply tries to blend in with all the brooms and hopes the moment passes.

Reblog if you are

greyhound-with-a-mega-wizard-hat:

dragonsareradguys:

the-blog-with-the-gerard-pic:

starlight-sanders:

just-a-random-word:

i-forgot-adam:

kanrose:

shaxaphone:

s4rcoline:

I can’t believe I watched that whole thing. Smh. That’s how I know I am.

where are the notes

we fucking broke it, guys

another for the tumblr history books

what

wait wait what

the notes are broken!

hmmmmmm

that’s uh

that’s

interesting.

Liked it and then unliked it by mistake.

I love this site sometimes

rockyhamster:

chaosintheavenue:

orriculum:

candiikismet:

thranduilland:

whateverhumans:

siesiegirl:

professorsparklepants:

tuesdayisfordancing:

ozymandias271:

“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma

and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND

I didn’t know about zeugmas until just now! That is so awesome, everybody: 

zeug·ma ˈzo͞oɡmə/

noun

1. a figure of speech in which a word applies to two others in different senses (e.g.,John and his license expired last week ) or to two others of which it semantically suits only one (e.g., with weeping eyes and hearts ).

ISN’T THAT AWESOME??

#in english class in high school my teacher had us write our own zeugmas in class#and one guy came up with ‘he fell from her favor… and the window’#i am forever looking for opportunities to use that one

She dropped her dress and inhibitions at the door.

What’s this? My favorite rhetorical device showing up on my dashboard?

IT HAS A NAMEEEE!! OH MY GOD!!!

I LOVE THIIIIIS!!!

One I’ve loved was “on their weekend trip they caught three fish and a cold”

I love these they’re like a pun and a metaphor wrapped up into one neat phrase

The example I was taught that stuck in my head was ‘he swallowed his pride and an aspirin.’

She got to know the taste of love and rat poison

chibeast:

Bun and I were discussing obscure stuff we watched on VHS as kids, and I was telling him about the Yogi Bear Christmas special that we had recorded off the TV.

Me: The park has a ski lodge? And there’s some rich lady there with her spoiled asshole nephew. His name was like Snidely or something. Look it up for me?

Bun: *looking at wikipedia* Uhh…

ALT

Cousin Throckmorton?

Snively Throckmorton?!?!

apas-95:

i think if yanks can’t even recognise that the only reason they find farenheit intuitive is because they were raised with it, there’s basically no chance of being able to get them to analyse all the other, more important implicit biases they’ve been raised with

agentumbls:

mapsofnonexistentplaces:

mapsofnonexistentplaces:

oh wait i want to be a hater. the stupid fucking phenomenon on th of people using those cutesy graphics for trigger warnings is literally one of the most annoying things ever just fucking have a LISTTTTT of things that someone can easily read instead of having to look at cute pixel art gifs with the text PHYSICAL ABUSE right beneath

like come the fuck on with some of these

oh wait i just completely fucking forgot about this one. help.

These look like debuffs.

bylinehearts:

so i’m effectively homeless now.

we (my partner and i) were scheduled to move into our new apartment yesterday, the 18th, and lo and behold, not only was the unit not ready, there were biohazards, broken glass, and cigarette butts everywhere. the entire unit reeked of smoke and i am severly asthamtic. when pressed about the problem, management first said the unit would be ready in two days. obviously, this wouldn’t work. management then called us liars and denied the state of the apartment being “that bad.” we’re in the process of getting all of our deposit money back and are currently staying at my partner’s sister’s house until we’re able to find other housing, and all of our belongings are in a storage unit. we’re both still working and making money but uhaul is charging us up the ass for a “wrong destination fee,” despite it never being in our contract. this is a $400 charge we did not budget for.

tl;dr: my partner and i were supposed to move yesterday and everything that could go wrong went wrong. we’re up shit’s creek without a paddle. any help would be greatly appreciated.

c4sh4pp: $horatiobo

Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.

the-haiku-bot:

fagboybreakdowns:

hashtagdion:

Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.

[plain text: “Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.” end plain text.]

[plain text: “Reblog this

if you slept with my ex-wife

Susan.” end plain text.]

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

apas-95:

seing people write ‘unaliving’ and 'g-cide’ or whatever other stupid self-censorship is so absolutely annoying because like - for one, we’ve already acknowledged that there was never any proof that saying 'kill’ would actually lead to posts being algorithmically suppressed, and the entire thing was just paranoid self-reinforcement - and for two, who fucking cares if your post doesn’t go #trending, if it means not writing in an infantile and euphemistic way about an ongoing genocide?

grison-in-space:

rupertgayes:

thanks guys

these aus are the best ones in the whole world and I will not be denied

itsneverlightoutsideyet-deactiv:

starting a collection

kaalbela:

Palestinian child Walid al-Shawa celebrates his birthday with his family on the rubble of their house which was destroyed by Israel’s bombing of Gaza, 2019. © Belal Khaled.

dragonprincessmew:

tlirsgender:

The poll feature really took off because it taps into tumblr’s favorite activity: being extremely opinionated about things that don’t matter