hey quick test, reblog or like this if you DONT think neopronouns are stupid im trying to prove a point to my sister and her partner
for context my sister is a binary trans lesbian dating a genderfluid lesbian and today she came up to me saying that her and her partner as two trans people have both decided neopronouns are stupid
writing a garbage essay feels like you’re the cow who gave birth to the two headed calf. in the morning, my professor will wrap him in newspaper and dissect him on a cold operating table. but here he is alive, under the pale glow of my computer screen. he is beautiful. there are twice as many logical fallacies as usual.
i am shrunken down and brought to the gnome world and when i attempt to assimilate to their culture I use an acorn cap as a hat and they all laugh cheerfully at my silly mistake of wearing what they use as a bowl like a cap and though this is a transgression that would have humiliated me in my human life I am instead laughing alongside them at my humorous misunderstanding
they ask me what I would like to eat and knowing that gnomes enjoy fruit i ask for my favorite fruit, an apple, and they all laugh raucously and say that i must be very hungry indeed to desire an entire apple rather than just a small chunk, and i go along with their joke and say that while my body may have shrank my stomach has not! and they all guffaw with delight until their faces turn red and see that my request is met and we all sit around a toadstool and share many apple slices together
over my time spent with the gnomes, my antics are still regarded with much delight. though i am past the age in which i am confused by their customs and norms, i occasionally pretend to be clueless about simple and easily understood things, such as shock at how toads are as tall as I am. they all continue to laugh at my feigned surprise, and sometimes join in, asking me if I need any help distinguishing what berries are for eating and which are for painting. i laugh, too. there is a sense of grace that comes with my shortcomings amongst the gnomes. they are entertained by my misunderstandings, yes, because life is to short to not be jolly.
i wake up one morning back at my original size. the small cavern in the roots of a tree that i lived in is destroyed in my sleep. my clothes, tailored from cut-up scraps of fabric, are shredded around me. i am a human again. i am horribly embarrassed.
the gnomes of the community gather around where i sit, all looking at me and exchanging glances with each other, none of them speaking the obvious. i can no longer stay here, now that i am not their size. but i was part of their community. i became one of them, indistinguishable from these people only from my past. how am i supposed to return to the world of the humans now? there is no life left for me there. that is not a life where i may fish for minnows in a babbling brook and feast off a bounty of raspberries. i am distraught. i cry.
my community comforts me. friends, all minuscule to me now, pat me wherever they can reach, nimbly dodging the tears that fall from my face. one of them offers me water. they don’t have any containers that are big enough for me, they apologize, so just this acorn cap filled with morning dew will have to suffice.
i take the acorn cap and look at it in my hands. it is so small now. with a sniff, i put it atop my head.
the gnome chuckles. then laughs. then bends at the waist, bellowing with laughter, supporting himself on my knee. then i am laughing too, face red, tears still falling, and my community of gnomes laughs with me as well, so loud that a flock of birds takes off in the distance, and i am still laughing even as i stand to my feet and lumber away, back to where i once came.
In UI/UX design, menus have different names depending on the aspect they have, I knew about the hamburger menu and so I figured the “meatballs menu” could exist too, and it does…
thats it, im not posting the rest of the day, this is the best fucking thing ive learned in the past 3 weeks
this is what we needed to learn in distance learning
an ice cold beer topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. lying on top of the ice cream foam is a salted peanut. this is the angel. around him are sprinkles (his tears). this is “the angel’s lament”, my new cocktail
one of my favorite things about my job that i can say to people that sounds utterly ridiculous but is technically 100% true is that one of our sea turtles keeps trying to get me to commit a felony on her behalf and gets SUPER cranky when i won’t do it
this is because she is spoiled rotten and LOVES head and shell scritches. every time i go to the tank she’s in to collect water samples while she happens to be awake and swimming near the surface, she sees my hand enter the water and immediately comes over to try and get my attention, headbutting the dive platform and splashing water at me and generally making a huge fuss.
unfortunately, because she is also a ~100yr old green sea turtle, i legally cannot touch her. she’s a protected species, and a fairly prominent individual at that, and im not one of the aquarists who dives into that tank NOR am i a vet, so i’m not among the handful of people who are ALLOWED to give her scratchies. she knows all of the divers personally, and knows that i am not one of them. she doesn’t care. she wants attention and because she’s the specialest princess in the entire universe she will do anything in her power to get it.
she also throws a big ol tantrum when i end up not petting her. she’ll stick up her head to snort water at me, slap at the platform and ladder with her fins, and then swim under the dive platform and bump her shell against the bottom — she’s a 500lb turtle, which is a lot of weight for her to be throwing around. i usually have to move pretty quick to get off the platform and onto solid ground cuz there have been times where i’ve genuinely felt like i was about to lose my balance and REALLY didn’t want to end up falling into the tank.
^ myrtle, throwing a tantrum because she was unsuccessful at peer pressuring me into violating the endangered species act
i was driving myself insane trying to find this meme and couldn’t figure out why there were no traces of it on google so i was about to ask you all to send it to me but i just realized i made it and never posted it. this isn’t even a meme it’s just a file on my computer
[Image description: A black and white photo of Vladimir Lenin with text overlaid at the bottom. The text is as follows:
“Sadly, almost all pony music is electronic.”
-Vladimir Lenin, Letter to G. Myasnikov, 5 August 1921
I found this LGBT Catholic flag on Reddit. The creator for it is getting dogpiled over there but is resolute in keeping it up.
There are also many other flags included in the source.
Not bad but yeeaah..
ALSO it somehow implies the intersex are the head of the church, which is fun
Intersex Pope NOW!!!!!!!!
Intersex Pope NOW!!!!!!
[ Attempt at an improved ID: A rainbow striped flag with a white triangle on the lefthand side, On the outside is,in order from in to out surrounding the triangle is a yellow,pink,brown,and black band. Inside the triangle are silver and gold keys tied together with red string,forming a cross where the keys interect. Above the keys is a purple ring. End ID. ]
I’m blundering around trying to navigate this strange new foreign territory as all the redditors get the attention, I’ve had to rely on the r/196 adaption they’ve made on here to figure out what to do because I at least understand how Reddit works.
I see jokes about the Panera lemonade but no guys.. it actually killed someone.
The guy NEVER had caffeine due to health issues. He loved going to that Panera and they did not warn him. He had no way to know where was like a level of 380mg of caffeine in his drink. The equivalent of drinking like 4 redbulls if I remember correctly. The FDA recommends 400mg as the level max per day. (A shot of expresso is 65mg for context)
Panera KILLED this man with what he thought was a simple regular lemonade.
Apparently it ALSO killed a young girl with a heart condition
STOP BUYING THIS DRINK FOR A MEME
That’s the thing!! You can REFILL THESE DEATH DRINKS. They’re already close to the daily limit with ONE and people can get two or three times that easily???
And people are buying MORE due to the memes caused by the deaths of people instead of holding them accountable.
This will kill more people and encourage other companies to jump on the meme train for profit
Do NOT let them do to these people what they did to the McDonald’s coffee woman. Do not let them try and sweep this under the rug
Panera what the fuck.
I need everyone to understand this drink killed 2 people who didn’t know how much caffeine was in the drink because no Panera employee warned them and it was only AFTER the deaths that Panera made a sign warning people of the amount of caffeine in the drinks and this is what they look like:
Well, we know what flavors the drink comes in…
A 20 ounce cup of strawberry lemon mint has 260 milligrams of caffeine and a 30 ounce cup has 390 milligrams of caffeine,
a 20 ounce cup of mango yuzu citrus has 260 milligrams of caffeine and a 30 ounce cup has 389 milligrams of caffeine,
a 20 ounce cup of blood orange has 245 milligrams of caffeine and and 30 ounce cup has 368 milligrams of caffeine.
One shot of espresso has 63 milligrams of caffeine.
One 250 milliliter can of Red Bull has 80 milligrams of caffeine.
One 250 milliliter can of Monster has 166 milligrams of caffeine.
Panera’s charged lemonade has more caffeine than Red Bull and Monster combined.
Its so mind boggling. They could have EASILY come up with a deal with one of the energy drink brands to make Lemonade with some Caffeine but its also something where only the employees can pour it or it comes in a can. Ya know, so people don’t drink it unaware that its like 5 coffees in a trench coat.
Also just a reminder: caffeine IS addictive and you CAN have an overdose and have things such as seizures because of it.
please don’t reblog this post a devilish temptress tricked me into making it and she placed a hex upon it so that every reblog removes a molecule from my body
eye doctors: please for fucks sake try to protect your eyes from blue light pls take breaks from screens pls wear these blue light filter glasses pls pls pls im fucking begging you
getting incredibly tired of westerners responding to firsthand accounts shared by palestinians in gaza with the reflexive demand to see a “source”
because by source, they always mean a western news report
never mind, of course, that international journalists are banned from entering gaza; the word of the western journalist, writing in passive voice about a genocide 6000 miles away, is still deemed more ‘reliable’ than the firsthand accounts shared by the victims living through that same genocide
a palestinian shares a video of an IOF solider brutalizing civilians in gaza? not good enough; they still need a “source.” the video in question was posted by a palestinian journalist? okay cool, but does someone have a more reliable source? can we get a word in from the esteemed fact-checkers over at the new york crimes, or the iraq-has-wmds-post? we just don’t want to spread misinformation…
As the one who submitted this terrifying creature (who probably has a name other than “Monty Python rabbit”, but that’s the name it has in my head so that’s what we’re going with), allow me to explain:
Both Saitama and the rabbit defeat their foes with a single violent attack, however Saitama always attacks second (giving his foe a chance to demonstrate their overwhelming strength, complete with widespread city attacks, several minor character shounen battle arcs and a long monologue) whereas the rabbit always attacks first (without mercy, without drama, without explanation, taking its foe completely by surprise). By the time it occurs to Saitama to punch this rabbit, he’s already dead. And it’s not as if this rabbit is rampaging across the city or recruiting an army of lesser villains or any of that stuff. No: the rabbit just sits there, minding its own business, until some dumbass shows up and invades its territory. Saitama is EXACTLY that dumbass.
Similar comedy rules apply to each character, in that they LOOK exceptionally weak and average up until they strike, however of the two: Saitama is notably larger and much further up in the food chain than a very ordinary-looking, unarmoured and unequipped rabbit. Also abuse to animals is not funny, whereas abuse BY animals? Extremely funny.
So, yes: in my opinion, the Monty Python rabbit would absolutely destroy Saitama, even as the latter turns to the camera to ask, “Who is this sassy lost pet?”.
That said, I do think there’s an argument for Genos being able to defeat the rabbit, on the basis that he actually pays attention to intel, knows better than to underestimate weak-looking opponents and is equipped with both range weapons and the comedy approach of using excessive force for situations that really don’t, at face value, appear to warrant it. Scissors (Saitama) might beat paper (Genos), but paper beats rock (killer rabbit).
kids were roleplaying with minecraft figurines and one of them had their figure go up to the other and say “i’m in love with you” and the other one replied “sword slash to the chest. and you’re on fire”
Reblog if sword slash to the chest. Also you’re on fire.
hey guys, sorry to have to ask again, but i need some help making it through the rest of the month. my girlfriend’s been sick and has missed a couple days of work, and my bank account is already in the negatives after paying december rent and bills. we also need to worry about January rent; thankfully we have a good habit of paying partial rent each paycheque but because my girlfriend works in schools, from dec 22 to jan 8 she won’t be working her usual position, and as of now she hasn’t found an alternative. our rent goal is $225, and another $225 for groceries to last us until the beginning of january.
i understand the holidays are rough for a lot of us, so if you can’t assist, please boost! thank you for reading 💙
[ID 1: a post by user @ lowqualityfacts. It reads,
“CEO: We need to cut costs.
Accountant: okay. We paid you $50 million last year. We spent $10 million on your private jet flights and luxury hotel accomodations. For some reason you are being paid $1 million for this 45 minute meeting.
CEO: I see. Who’s that in the hallway?
Accountant: That’s Greg. He is the only thing keeping this company from falling apart. We pay him in nickels and GrubHub gift cards.
CEO: Fire Greg.”
ID 2: Tags reading, “literally happened this week where I work”. End ID]
“Way too reliable narrator” where the narrator provides documentation and proof for how they know every detail in the narrative and an estimate of how confident they are in it.
Lewis’s law is an observation she made in 2012 that states “the comments on any article about feminism justify feminism.” Lewis has written frequently about misogynist hate directed at women online.
ALT
