Since I discovered that “step out of your comfort zone” is supposed to mean “safely experiment with doing small things to expand your life experience” and not “ignore the fact that you are disabled and cause yourself physical and emotional pain until you have a meltdown and then stay in bed for two days straight”, my life has drastically improved.
I did a tweet on this but lemme put it in here anyway
So yeah ‘step out of your comfort zone’ means 'engage your learning zone’ but not 'Ignore all your feelings and yeet your ass into the panic zone’
the alternative girl with pathetic boyfriend thing has to end
Hi, I run a small Etsy business selling replica Scott Pilgrim cosplay items. You’re personally hurting my livelihood by saying this. Think about the effect your words have on others.
As a holdover from when churches used to run schools, many states in Australia legislate that the local church can come into schools to teach religion classes for an hour each week.
These ‘scripture teacher’ roles generally do not require any formal education training, and can be filled by just about any random off the street, which means that for one class a week Australian students are subjected to some of the most unhinged people on earth teaching them all kinds of made up stuff with zero supervision.
Aussies: This is a free thread to reply with the stories of the funniest things your scripture teachers said or did when you were a kid.
Ours always gave us Christian themed crosswords that she made herself, but she could never format them properly for some reasons so some boxes had two letters in them, and some had little doodles of flowers or crosses to fill gaps (????). She also told us candy canes were shaped that way because they are a J for Jesus (this is, shockingly, not true), and easter eggs are actually not eggs but a chocolate representation of the stone rolled in front of Jesus’ tomb (this is also, SHOCKINGLY, not true)
This is exactly the kind of unhinged educational material we’re talking about!
Also shoutout to this gold in the tags:
And we forgot, “having to sit in silence on your own for an hour” was up until recently the most common alternative if your parents opted you out of the dumpster fire:
Keep em coming!
Okay this has very much broken containment outside of Aussie tumblr, but we’ve read back through the *hundreds* of amazing replies and here are a handful of the most Batshit so far:
Pretty sure this one is a legit hate crime:
And the absolute pinacle:
im not australian, but i did have religion class in high school and one time our preacher said that animals dont go to heaven the same week one girl lost her childhood dog and she cried so much she puked on top of him
it’s always wild to me how many people use social media exactly like the fake users they make up in tech demos do. just commenting on chipotle’s post about a new type of steak like “😍 can’t wait to try it!” and reacting to articles on mass death events with “😥”
This child who came to my house tonight is literally the funniest human being on the planet. She complimented me on having both lollipops and mini Three Musketeers available because “a lot of houses these days don’t give you a fruit flavor option.” She was very solemn about this.
So I was at the dentist today and the neighbourhood was doing an organised trick or treat at all the local businesses to keep the munchkins safe.
Little boy came in with green face paint, bolts on his neck, and carrying a little toy bag of plastic golf clubs. The receptionist asked who he was dressed as and he just went “Golf Frankenstein” in an exasperated way, like how could she not get it?
can i get a “liminal spaces” game where you’re a hobbyist spelunker of these spaces and your job is to get pictures of the scary inhabitants of the spaces. but it turns out the creatures react to you like island animals are are just overly curious of new stimuli.
creature RUNS at you but when it catches you it just picks you up and looks at you like a weird rock and then leaves
G̴͛͟OͤT̘ ̛̘̉̕͟Sͪ͏̴̠̙T́ͨǓ̳͔̆͢C̀K̘̀ ̰͈͓͟I̮̩ͮ̏N̫̫̑͢ ̧̆AΙ ̨͕̺̮̆ḺO͊O̶̥̣ͤ͒P̛ ̼͍̉͝ ^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Most of you are welcome, friendly Human®. | PayPal | Patreon
G̴͛͟OͤT̘ ̛̘̉̕͟Sͪ͏̴̠̙T́ͨǓ̳͔̆͢C̀K̘̀ ̰͈͓͟I̮̩ͮ̏N̫̫̑͢ ̧̆AΙ ̨͕̺̮̆ḺO͊O̶̥̣ͤ͒P̛ ̼͍̉͝ ^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Most of you are welcome, friendly Human®. | PayPal | Patreon
moment of silence for everyone who relied on AI chat bots for research when it’s going around saying shit like this.
[image description: search that reads “country in africa that starts with K”. the featured snipped is from www.emergentmind.com and reads “While there are 54 recognized countries in Africa, none of them begin with the letter “K”. The closest is Kenya, which starts with a “K” sound, but is actually spelled with a “K” sound. It’s always interesting to learn new trivia facts like this.” /end ID]
this cunt gave me a Python script to PROVE how wrong it is
IT JUST KEEPS GOING
IT GASLIT ME AND THEN REFUED TO TALK 😭😭 ai is not the fucking future
goddamn it just keeps going. talking to this thing must leave you so overencumpered
reading this is legitimately frustrating and also SO funny
Imagine if you locked Light and Patrick Bateman in a room together. They would be having the most generic conversation but you wouldn’t be able to hear it over the sound of their overlapping internal monologues. There would be a few seconds where their monologues both play in sync to say something misogynistic.
mutual 1: I want to turn that man’s prostate into silly putty
mutual 2: here’s smth i doodled during science class lol
mutual 3: pls remember that you personally can drink milk and still be a lactose intolerance ally!! anyone who tells you otherwise doesn’t know their history :]
mutual 4: fucking a robot girl in the ass call that backend programming
mutual 5: holy shit I need him so fucking bad holy shit holyyy shit oh my god
mutual 6: anyone get kind of horny putting the ignition key in the car….it’s so intimate….turning him on….
mutual 7: so lets talk about where scrimblo’s arc is realistically going- I know a lot of people are trying to argue that he’s being manipulated but this ignores the fact that there is clearly unresolved conflict between him and bleebus about their moralities
mutual 8: happy propeller penis thursday
mutual 9: “scrimblo and bleebus need to discuss their morality” god forbid a pathetic boywife does some torture 🙄🙄
mutual 10: WHO IS HYPED FOR THE NEW ALBUM LETS FUCKING GO
mutual 11: guys we’re not getting a new album
mutual 12: please stop sending me death threats
mutual 13: why is my whole dash talking about this band I don’t even listen to…..
mutual 14: hey boy nice knife wound can i put my tongue in it
sometimes i think about the history of coffee culture in islam and how it spread like it’s so funny
discovered by sufis who decided it was a miracle from Allah since it allowed them to stay up late into the night for night worship
miracle beans = UNLIMITED DHIKR
cue scholars debating for years about whether it’s haram or halal and if it should be classified as an ‘intoxicant’ or not
fast forward to 16th century ottoman empire, where a woman had the legal right to divorce her husband if he failed to provide her with enough coffee
europeans called it the “mohammaden gruel” or “devil’s drink” bc they believed it to be a “bitter invention of satan and his followers”
fast forward to pope clement viii finally giving in and tasting it to see what the hype is about and then stating: “This Satan’s drink is so delicious that it would be a pity to let the infidels have exclusive use of it.”
pope clement viii then proceeds to BAPTIZE THE COFFEE BEANS
Every few months twitterinas bring back the “carnivores are a problematic element of nature and we should feed them synthetic meat and make it so they don’t eat herbivores. this is completely normal, feasible and won’t have any kind of repercussion on the ecosystem” discourse
First time I saw that was a guy who had as proposition to create fake prey animals with a robotic exoskeleton and covered in synthetic meat that predators would hunt, eat and then the exoskeleton would get up and go to the lab to get re meated. That was funny as hell
Tiger watching skinless carcass it just ate get up and walk away
Actually we should totally do this but not for like ideological veganism reasons just cuz itd be funny as like an animal social experiment.
doing this with real meat so there’s not even a hypothetical animal rights angle, just completely unwarranted and unmitigated freak behavior
GET THIS! we just meat on a robotic exoskeleton and had my tigers hunt and eat it just to see that they would do when I got up and walked away. HAHAHA! You should’ve seen the faces on those suckers, isn’t that right Caroline?
hey op. i want you to know my boyfriend has been in hysterics, laughing and occasionally wheezing out “bibby” for the past half an hour because of this post. are you proud of what youve done?
