life becomes so beautiful when you start cooking rice in liquids other than water
put that basmati rice in the cooker with coconut cream and chicken stock and an entire onion that you’ve diced and sauteed with garlic until transparent. and some salt and pepper. Trust me
“Uncle Benadryl’s one minute rice” one minute what? awake? left to live?
New Tumblr is now such that I cannot just go to the post with the recipe but must reblog the gatorade and uncle benadryl if I ever hope to make rice with coconut cream.
Almost blocked someone for being a bot because their URL ended in a string of numbers but then I realized the numbers were 42069 and I wanted to apologize like when a nobleman fails to recognize his king disguised in the garb of a commoner
Love the contrast between the Americans’ “Apollo” and the Soviets’ “Sputnik.” You got the Americans naming their rocket after a Greek god trying to communicate the grandness and importance of this rocket. And you got the Soviets naming their rocket “fellow traveler.” Like a friend you go on an adventure with together. This rocket is our little friend lol
Funniest thing in the whole wide world is opening a completed fic and seeing the author’s note for the first chapter say something like “unlike my other fics, this will be a shorter one! Expect it to be complete within three months or so” and then you look at the stats and the fic is 100k+ words and took two years to finish
Second funniest thing is progressing through a fic and reading the authors notes and every three or so chapters they’re like “you might have noticed the chapter count has increased from five to eight! Some scenes have gotten away from me” and “okay so the chapter count is updated from 14 to 19. just. just ignore that” and the actual completed fic is 37 chapters long
Holy shit I think I just cracked the code of why people think you can’t sell things on Tumblr 😭
I was reading one of the Substacks I subscribe to, talking about how they promote their publication and their various sources of traffic, when I came across this paragraph:
Now I happen to also run a fairly popular Substack (about gay vampires). One whose readers are almost entirely Tumblr users. And Tumblr clicks have just never shown up in my stats, I’m used to it. Naturally I had to comment:
It’s not just Substack’s tracking that doesn’t work on here. NO tracking works on here. Tumblr is just one of the last platforms left that completely obscures its users’ data!
That’s why there’s this persistent myth that you can’t advertise on Tumblr. It’s not that you can’t sell things here, it’s that you can’t use the invasive methods that are standard everywhere else.
Some of you need to learn the difference between “ideologically desirable end-point” and “best option for reducing suffering at this current moment considering present conditions”
Or, if you’d prefer me to phrase this as an analogy: if somebody is bleeding out and you’re trying to stop the bleeding, you do not have time to worry about whether the medical supplies you’re using were made with sustainable materials
Why when a rat boggles its eyes when happy it’s a cute thing, but when I do it all of a sudden I’m a “Freak of nature.” and “Need to get in the FBI van.” like what the hell? God forbid a trans man does anything. Ffs.
ELMO DOES NOT LIVE ALONE. HIS PARENTS ARE CLEARLY SHOWN SEVERAL TIMES IN SEVERAL PIECES OF SESAME STREET MEDIA. YOU’RE A FAKE FAN. HIS PARENTS NAMES ARE LOUIE AND MAE. HE EVEN HAS EXTENDED FAMILY.
it really isn’t acknowledged enough how mentally draining it is to consistently fuck up the same thing over and over again. The kind of thing that make people ask “how could you possibly fuck that up again, you’ve been doing that consistently for the past 10 years” and all you can give for an answer is “if I knew how I manage to keep doing this wrong, I would simply stop doing it wrong.” And they don’t like that answer, either.
Your brain isn’t designed to do that. The hunter-gatherer survival instincts that are pretty good at determining what’s sensible and what isn’t will just go “don’t do that, then.” There’s nothing in the natural environment that human beings developed in in which consistently doing something that you find unpleasant that consistently yields no reward would be worth doing. If you keep failing at the same thing again and again, then clearly the thing cannot be done, and wasting your energy doing something impossible to achieve that isn’t enjoyable to do is detrimental to your survival. Your brain punishes you for trying to do that.
And there is no way to explain to my caveman brain that I cannot simply stop doing laundry.
if two men have sex with each other, is that feminist because no women are being sexualized, or anti-feminist because it doesn’t pass the bechdel test
“If two men have sex with each other, is that feminist because no women are being sexualized, or anti-feminist because it doesn’t pass the bechdel test?”
REACTION SPEED [Easy: Success] - Anti-feminist because no women are getting laid.
RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Anti-feminist. It’s only feminist if a woman is present and not being sexualized. Otherwise it’s just another male-driven narraative.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] - Feminist. Women love yaoi.
EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - It’s deeply misogynistic because they’re speaking over women.
INLAND EMPIRE [Formidable: Success] - Actually it’s fine because two fully clothed women are standing in the OR operating view room, commenting like Statler and Waldorf.
SAVOIR FAIRE [Medium: Success] - It’s only feminist if it was written by a straight woman.
CONCEPTUALIZATION [Impossible : Success] - Depends on whether the men are lesbians. Hope this helps.
DRAMA [Easy: Success] - Whatever makes straight people who have to listen to this argument most uncomfortable.
LOGIC [Legendary: Success] - Two men are only allowed to have sex with each other if they’re in the same room as at least two women, and those women need to introduce themselves and have a conversation that’s not about the men having sex in the room.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT [Easy: Success] - That’s a lot of work to be putting on women.
SUGGESTION [Heroic: Success] - In a way, it could be yuri. That’s sex two women could be having… but they aren’t. Why? That’s the yuri itself… the longing.
“oh I’m too old for stuffed animals” skill issue. sorry you can’t appreciate little creatures made to hang out with you, I on the other hand am full of joyous whimsy and therefore vastly superior.
“Fiction is not a 1:1 reflection of reality” and “the U.S. military doesn’t support and finance American action movies and video games for fun” are concepts that can and should coexist
i have naturally acidic sweat. it’s a family thing
we have already. They don’t know exactly what is up with it, other than the sweat being slightly more acidic than normal and the acidic mantle being thicker and Way more acidic than normal, but it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with acidosis. As far as we have tested, our family has had this since at least my great grandpa, and the guy lived to be 93 years old.
What the fuck.
op is a xenomorph descendant from that one time ripley fucked the queen
Because in its younger days it used to have RGB lights:
Some of them still work, when they want:
Though I’ve long forgotten how to change the color settings
NEVERMIND I JUST REMEMBERED HOW
Imagine trying to claim op is wasteful for using a plastic keyboard after they show off something that looks like it belongs at Old Friends Senior Keyboard Sanctuary.
A thing that bothers me about wizard schools in popular media – outside of the magic-grade-school stuff, anyway – is that they’re typically depicted as being basically magic universities, but their actual curricula and pedagogical approaches look much more like those of a technical institution. Like, buddy, that’s not a wizard university, that’s a wizard trade school. You can’t just slap university student culture on top of trade school pedagogy. It doesn’t work like that – the one emerges from the other!
So you’ve got this bitch-ass fitted sheet that you would normally pile into a ball and shove into a closet so you won’t have to deal with it, yeah? Well. Quit acting like a piece of linen is better than you are. You can make a fitted sheet bend to your will. And here’s how…
First, put your sheet on the floor. Stand above it for a few seconds so it knows who’s boss.
Then, put your hand in the lower left corner so that it’s inside out. Do the same to the lower right corner.
Now, your lower left and right corners of the fitted sheet should be inside out. (Shoutout to Amy Poehler, love your work).
Then, take the lower left corner (that’s still inside out) and tuck it into the upper left corner. It should look like the picture above once you’re done. Then, do the same with your right corners.
It should look something like that. Right now, she’s your friend at the end of a good night out. Doesn’t look really bad, but you know she deserves better.
Pull at the corners until you get something like this shape, as it makes it easier to fold. You’ve given your friend some plain white bread and a glass of water. She’s looking much more presentable now.
Now, pull in at the elastic until you make a rectangle. You’ll want to tuck and smooth the excess fabric away from the elastic seams and towards the closed edge of the fitted sheet.
Once you’ve got a (semi) neat rectangle, fold the the top of the sheet down about a third of the way through. I like to fold the upper part of the sheet down first, because it’s not as straight of an edge as the bottom. You can find your own meaning within that description.
Now, fold the lower portion of the sheet on top of the part you’ve already folded down.
Fold the left side of the sheet into the middle, and then fold the right side of the sheet on top of what you just folded.
Congratulations. You just made a fitted sheet your bitch.
No but really, this has been the most complete and informative description of how to fold a fitted sheet I’ve ever seen. Very few that I’ve seen show the “bread and water” step.
I believe pretty strongly that art doesn’t need an audience. Plenty of art is political or provocative just for its own sake, without any relevant discourse or target demographic in mind. As a writer on tumblr I write things that I know I will enjoy writing and with very little stakes attached–if anyone decides they wanna engage with my work, that’s fine.
Most larger entities, collectives, and labels though–they create art with the intention to sell it. This is not a bad thing or a detraction of that art, it is simply a reality that even the weirdest corporate media has a hook by design. The marketing alone for a new movie, game, or series can tell you right away who the product is for.
However.
Who in the fuck did Hideo Kojima make Death Stranding for
To other people, you’re the special, unlockable character that they worked and worked to finally get- and when they do they’re so happy because they got the game just so they could find you.
The fact y'all are still passing around this post, eight years after I made it. Exquisite. I hope it’s still resonating with people outside of mid-2010’s tumblr.
you can click on this button once daily to help palestine and support other causes in the middle east for free. it takes literally 5 seconds and could help save lives so please take the time to click and share this link.
