October 2023

the-haiku-bot:

existencebringsonlypain:

Where does the haiku bot find all the posts? I am SO fucking confused

Where does the haiku

bot find all the posts? I am

SO fucking confused

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

lohboh:

no joke zero exaggeration this would fucking fix me

fevrith:

little-qngels:

raddagher:

hello google chrome refugees

don’t use any of these browsers, they’re also chrome

Here are my favorite firefox plugins for security/anti-tracking/anti-ad that I recommend you get

please get off chrome google is currently being investigated for being an Illegal Monopoly so get outta there okay love you bye

Bruh

mew2:

vvankster:

ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ

THIS IS RHE FUNNIEST SOUND THING IVE EVER HEARD ON THIS SITE IT MAJES ME LAUGH SO MUCH I LOVE IT IM SO HAPPY

memingursa:

memingursa:

*firebombs your dashboard*

1 k notes and no death threats yet

isthescavengervideocute:

thenewborndeity:

lemonbars-and-fingerguns:

houseofmcallister:

desdemere:

flamingkat:

deanpleasepassthegravy:

forestbeneathme:

keepmywhiskeyneat:

wyvernchild:

lavender-ice:

please.

That is the exact spot my parents found a stray kitten. Nice little addition to the family, but would have been a terrible addition to the pavement had she not been very vocal OTL

No joke, the place where that cat is resting in this picture is called a “dead cat hole” it’s an automotive term.  Don’t believe me, look it up.

This is also where I found a stray cat, she was up in there during a thunderstorm and I begged my dad to let me being her inside and that’s the story of how I got my first cat.

Please don’t skip over this without reading it and making a mental note. Even if you don’t have a car, tell your parents or whoever, and make sure to do this. You think that’ll never happen but that’s what everyone thought who had this happen and didn’t check, and that poor cold cat met with a terribly sad end.

REBLOG WHETHER YOU LIKE CATS OR NOT

My little sister accidentally killed our family cat this way. It was horrible. Save yourself and a cat some pain by just being a little more attentive.

DON’T SCROLL

reblogging again– already in my save tags but still

Not to detract from the main point of the post but. YET ANOTHER REASON OUTDOOR CATS SHOULDN’T BE A THING.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bace-jeleren:

bace-jeleren:

To some people you’re an NPC

To other people, you’re the special, unlockable character that they worked and worked to finally get- and when they do they’re so happy because they got the game just so they could find you.

The fact y'all are still passing around this post, eight years after I made it. Exquisite. I hope it’s still resonating with people outside of mid-2010’s tumblr.

muttnick:

kaijuno:

give it up for another 70 years of goo

verdantry:

You are small potatoes to me. And brother I’m about to start mashing

bunnyheritageposts:

theotherwesley:

on my way to steal your garden veggies 

Bunny Heritage Post

biglawbear:

pourquoiwhy:

emmaklee:

I learned a new concept

Graceful degradation is the ability of a computer, machine, electronic system or network to maintain limited functionality even when a large portion of it has been destroyed or rendered inoperative. The purpose of graceful degradation is to prevent catastrophic failure. (Tech Target, first result on the search engine)

Literal opposite of planned obsolescence. I love you graceful degradation.

orcinus-veterinarius:

gelidrons:

i also don’t see zoos as like, a “necessary evil” that will go away when we’ve ended capitalism and learned to live more sustainable lives or whatever.

for starters, i don’t believe conservation is an issue that will ever end. for example, certain species are inherently more vulnerable to extinction, and those species may need a helping hand if disease or natural disaster strikes their populations. this is especially true of species with slow reproductive cycles or small populations, or extremely limited habitat. working with these animals and having a captive stock of them will be vital should something happen to their wild populations.

but also zoos serve another function beyond conservation, and that’s education. zoos offer people the ability to really connect with animals they may not ever see in the wild, whether because the animal is very secretive, it doesn’t live near the people visiting the zoo, or the people don’t have the ability to go out on hikes or whatever and observe them in the wild. it’s hard to become passionate about something that only exists in the abstract, and it’s hard to want to learn about something you have no concept of. people are also scared of things they don’t understand, which leads to conflict between humans and animals. good zoos create a space where people can safely observe happy and healthy animals and get to know them without either party being pushed past their limit. this fosters passion for, interest in, and respect for animals that people might not care or even know about otherwise.

That last paragraph ^^^

It deeply disturbs me the number of people who claim that… animatronics or VR or even nature documentaries can replace seeing an animal with your own eyes. Not that those things don’t have their place—they certainly do—but to see something, to understand that it’s real, is life-changing.

And, in an ironic twist, the same groups clamoring to replace zoo animals with robots are the ones who whole-heartedly believe that animals undergo the full spectrum of human experiences.

cryoverkiltmilk:

devantnuit-ladeluge:

only-tiktoks:

The absolute contempt for these locks is palpable.

lizardvvizard:

chazkuangshi:

ephemeral-lightning:

chazkuangshi:

“I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In my ENTIRE LIFE. And I’m NOT. About to start NOW.

-Crazy customer I had today, upon being offered a complimentary donut

Why is this a real thing that happened in the real world what’s the meaning of this

I’m just gonna copy paste the story here from discord because honestly the whole story is worth hearing

so lady comes through drive thru.
“Hi what can I get for you?”
“A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese.”
“A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese, sure no problem, can I get you anything else today?”
“No”
“Alright, you can pull up”
and I just hear this quiet disgrunted “ ‘Please’ ?”

I’m like uhhhhh, was that even directed at me, I don’t know, I don’t know how to respond to that so I just ignore it like I didn’t hear it. I go up to the window and see this woman, which she honestly looked like a tomato with messy gray hair. Before I have the window halfway open I see her roll her eyes at me so I’m like oh boy here we go, time to put on the stupid sweet customer voice

“Hi how are you today?”

She hands me the money for her bagel and goes “Just a tip. It’s ‘Please pull up to the window.’ not ‘pull up.’ I found that incredibly rude.”

I go “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t intend for that to be rude, I just meant that it was okay to pull up to the window now.”
“I know what you meant. But it was rude.”
“Well, I apologize. Here’s your bagel, have a great day.”
She goes “I’m a MYSTERY SHOPPER.” (If you don’t have Mystery shoppers where you are, it’s kind of like undercover boss where the store owner hires someone through the Mystery shopper program and they place a regular order just to make sure people are following policy)
I’m like “… ok”

So I’m about to tell my boss and coworker what just happened when she comes in. And I jump to the front counter because no way I’m letting her talk to my boss before I do.

“Hi, can I help you?”
“Yes. This bagel was supposed to be NOT toasted. You toasted it.”
“Ohh, I’m so sorry about that! I didn’t hear that. I’ll make you a new one right now.”
Coworker beats me to the bagel and I say “A little extra cream cheese on that.”
She looks at my boss “She just said a LITTLE cream cheese. I wanted EXTRA cream cheese.”
Boss goes “Oh, she said a little extra cream cheese.”
“Oh”

Boss goes into kiss ass mode as well and says, “I’m sorry about the mistake, would you like a donut?”
Lady goes “I’ve never. Eaten a donut. In my ENTIRE LIFE. and I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”
Boss is like “… ok” and we’re all internally going sdhakgsdgkja?

So we get the bagel out and she says to my boss
“And I have one more thing to say.” She leans in with a sneer. “Mystery shopper.”
boss goes “We don’t do that here.”
yea you do.”
“No we don’t.”
yea you do.”
“Have a good day.”

Basically we’re pretty sure the lady was crazy and she was absolutely lying because Mystery shoppers are not allowed to tell you that they’re mystery shoppers, and they aren’t allowed to coach you. And even if she was, “please” is not one of the things they look for. They look for a Greeting, whether or not you repeated the order and the price back, and whether or not you upsold. We haven’t participated in the program in over 7 years.

illumiost:

bushergug:

unmarked .mov file that my qpp sent me over discord. enjoy

Never reblogged something faster. I will reblog this every time I see it

words-and-coffee:

image

Alice Te Punga Somerville, Always Italicise: How to Write While Colonised - Kupu rere kē

image

cronennerd:

fortooate:

verdantry:

& btw fruit Flies literally spawn spontaneously

you look at a fruit fly and tell me it’s ever been anywhere else

13th century posts

alwaysbewoke:

ethiopienne:

the failure of american education in one concise photoset

i’m going to just leave this right here…

chongoblog:

chongoblog:

I’m like a salmon. I’m always goin against the current. I’m tasty. I turn into a fucking freak of nature if I ever get horny. Bears want me.

millenianthemums:

A sketch of Bill Cipher sitting at a table with some cards in front of him. He's wearing a top hat with stars on it and looks smug. He says "Here's the problem, Mabel. You're playing *2D* chess."ALT
Bill clenches his fist and says "I'm playing *4D*."ALT
Mabel Pines, sitting opposite Bill at the table, holds a hand of cards and looks tired and bemused. She says "I'm playing Uno. I don't know what you're playing."ALT

another small comic. i just thought this quote fit.

anyway i found an incorrect quote generator and i went a little insane so expect more comics with quotes from other things

hauntinq-6:

delightedobserverintraining:

lovelandmoonart:

It is that time of the year to Adopt a Ghost! 👻 Your ghost comes in its very own little box, sleeping on black tissue paper alongside a tiny scroll with a description of your ghost such as their name, occupation, likes and dislikes.

It also makes a great gift for friends and family who love ghost stories, spooky movies, and Halloween!

==> AVAILABLE HERE <==

💖

Omg I want one🥺

choujyu:

modmad:

naschamsant:

very small

girlactionfigure:

knight-of-ashes:

whitepeopletwitter:

listen, as a government regulator, please for the love of god call your city code enforcement on your landlords more often. we often have our hands tied and cannot enforce the law on code and permit violations until a citizen files a formal complaint. use the services available! PLEASE!

can-i-make-image-descriptions:

coldlolololir:

errorschacha:

To clarify for my new followers, my own political philosophy is techno-dystopian utilitarian monarchism, i.e. using invasive mass surveillance to identify an ideal ruler and forcing that person to be king against their will.

[Image ID: Tumblr reply from primarina-inc reading: Jerma /End ID]

gawayne:

of course you have a full suit of armour both marking you as the romantic ideal of masculinity and obscuring your body so completely that your sex loses importance when signifying your gender and class. and pronouns

yd12k:

definitelynotlazav:

protectcosette:

doubleca5t:

reallyreallyreallytrying:

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

An actual World Heritage Post

how does this post not have a million notes but anyone online can quote it

one week until ten years of Spiders Georg

sourcreammachine:

rule

gjjuddmk2:

memewhore:

memeuplift:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

him likes to have a sit

These are supposedly dnd dice

probablybadrpgideas:

elf eggs

this-is-dev:

ampervadasz:

I would fucking DIE for Wallace

manlet-rights-activist-deactiva:

manlet-rights-activist-deactiva:

manlet-rights-activist-deactiva:

prismo had a huge massive crush on jake in adventure time. hold on i need a clip

edit: forgot i cant reply with a video here is the clip

the nervous laughter, the blush. jake the corporeal flesh dog is in a room with one of the most powerful beings in existence and the wishmaster is the nervous one. mf wanted to wish for a sandwich and prismo is still “omg jake ur sooo funny heres a jar of pickles that you can call me with if u ever wanna hang out or something idk”

happy pride month to this 2D gay boy

zegalba:

artwork by Stefan Visan

punkitt-is-here:

the-genderless-spectrum:

reality-detective:

This 👆 is a barbaric program. 🤔

I’m not vegan and shit, but I think we need to be aware of what our food system is doing to animals, animals that have fed and kept us alive for a shit long time.

Hm, I wonder why replies are turned off?

Doing just five seconds of research reveals that these are cannulated cows, and the reason they have these is for veterinary purposes for the study of rumination from what I can tell. These are done in agricultural and veterinary environments in order to have ready access to what’s going on in a cow’s gut. It is not to cut down on actually feeding them. Looking at responses from actual experts and not weird conspiracy theorists on TikTok tells us they absolutely still need to eat from their mouth, and cannulated cows do not exist just to achieve “net zero” or cut costs on food.

You gotta begin to question obviously misleading videos like this, especially in this day and age.

carrieleblancart:

Just for fun

revretch:

valentineblacker:

revretch:

Taxonomically speaking:

Hares are rabbits, toads are frogs, butterflies are moths, tortoises are turtles, humans are apes, apes are monkeys, moose are deer, bees are wasps, ants are also wasps, termites are roaches, birds are dinosaurs, insects are crustaceans, and everything with bones is a fish.

Snakes are lizards 😌

Yep!!

cosmicwhoreo:

havocthecat:

terraterracotta:

terraterracotta:

terraterracotta:

My contribution to this meme

Because I’m standing firm with this I decided to update it to be a little more specific since some people aren’t getting the hint.

Once a year this appears back on my timeline again like a child who moved out visiting their parent

I have a funny idea: DON’T LIKE DON’T READ

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE DORKS IN THE BACK!!!

theoneofwhomisblue:

mega-taiga:

mega-taiga:

wh

a little bit lost

ericvilas:

keepcalmandcarriefischer:

dat-physics-gal:

fallenwillow44:

polyphonetic:

keepcalmandcarriefischer:

pope74220:

ythok:

yan-town:

kalianos:

keepcalmandcarriefischer:

liquid-geodes:

an-enigmatic-mind:

keepcalmandcarriefischer:

I feel lied to. This is where the bugs bunny NO meme cokes from

Ah lads they fucking rotated him

Me, reading this whole post:

NOW it’s you


Oh yea? Well guess what bro


Best post I’ve seen all day

jame7t:

⚠️We’ve always had a power called “human beam” but we don’t know how to activate or use it

the-gnomish-bastard:

blackbearmagic:

so ya boi has been super depressed, like clinically, for way longer than usual and it led to me heading down to the local psych urgent care for an evaluation today

During the eval, which was over zoom, the person assessing me asked me if I keep any “gods or ancestral gods” in the house.

I’m thinking “weird question for a psych eval, but okay sure”, and I get about two sentences into describing my weird pagan ways before she leans into her screen and says “GUNS. Do you keep any G U N S or have ACCESS TO GUNS in the house.”

so that’s probably the funniest thing that’s happened to me recently

Own a god for home defense, since that’s what the ancient mages intended.

escuerzoresucitado:

creepymutelilbugger:

auh not again

shencomix: