it’s important to me that people know the original “he would not fucking say that” was in response to a tiktok where someone said eric cartman would thank you for asking for his pronouns. Like it just doesn’t hit the same without context.
everytime someone uses “he would not fucking say that” for something he would absolutely fucking say given slightly different circumstances or has already fucking said i immediately become indignant cause you can’t waste a joke like this on mild characterisation nitpicks. sorry. it has to be on par with Any Pronouns Cartman.
my doordasher has been fucking around in the restaurant parking lot for a half hour now. probably playing with his tip and maybe even his balls a little bit on the holy day no less
to be honest he may even be curiously slipping his middle finger in and out of his hole with his shirt between his teeth adn his legs shaking well as long as i get my food buddy
Rich people always burn their money on useless stuff though…
why yes, but they also burn other people’s life and expectations to get more mony :>
Okay but the burning money on useless stuff is definitely like a good luck charm or something right? No way rich people would just make others lives worse for mony…
oh yes, if they want to save mony they’re gonn need to make it seem as if their (very relevant and very useful) business use a lot of properties, that way they can get into the tiniest little loophole in the tax law to commit tax evasion!!!
Or they just arrogant enough to think they own the whole world cus they just have mony!!!
if you learn to love bugs with all your heart the world will feel half as hostile and a thousand times as big
Theres a sentiment I’m noticing in the tags that I’d like to address. I dont think learning to love bugs with all your heart means forcing yourself out of discomfort you have with them overnight. It’s about observing a different sort of being going about its life and deliberately trying to reframe your observations through a sense of wonder and delight. It’s about cultivating a positive interest and curiosity for their ecology and behaviors. It’s especially about trying to uncouple the value we find in them from how ‘convenient’ they are to us; to face head on the part of us that wants to assign moral evil to another organism who just happens to live life in a way that is not harmonius with ours. You can love insects in this way and still recognize your own health and safety needs. We are animals living side by side within a biosphere. This is how it is, sometimes.
I think this is important to cultivate because, if you are alive at all, you are coming into conflict with countless other people and things that dont owe you an apology for their existance and needs. If you are alive at all, you are encountering countless other people and things that harmful bias and personal discomfort have made repulsive to you. This is about bugs, but its also about way more than bugs.
No, pineapple pizza isn’t on here. It gets too much publicity and I’m bored of it. Pick one of the other ones. (If it’s more than one thing or something else feel free to put in tags)
Applying for jobs is a hell designed specifically to torment autistic people. Here is a well-paying task which you know in your heart and soul if they just gave you a desk and left you alone and allowed you to do it you would sit there and be more focused and enthusiastic and excellent at it than anyone else in the building. However, before they allow you to perform the task, you must pass through 3-4 opaque social crucibles where you must wear uncomfortable clothes and make eye contact while everyone expects you to lie, but not too much (no one is ever clear exactly how much lying is expected, “over” honesty is however penalized). You are being judged almost entirely on how well you understand these very specific and unclear rules that no one has explained. None of this has anything to do with your ability to perform the desired task.
It is hell! I want to acknowledge that the original point of the post is NOT fixed by my providing solutions (the way jobs are filled makes no sense), but also I want to leave some notes for folks struggling with these unspoken rules.
Some brief notes on the correct kinds of “LYING”:
Always use “I” expressions, instead of “we”:
eg “I created a solution to a recurring problem by doing [x].”, even if it was really you and two others in a group
If you LED the group (or did project-management), you can say, “I led a team to create a solution to a recurring problem by doing [x].”
This is because employers like to know that YOU can do, and they also value team-leadership. If you say “we”, they may stop you and ask what You did specifically. You can avoid this by just saying “I”.
Someone asks if you have experience in a program (like excel):
If you feel confident using it: “Yes, I am very proficient.”
If you have used it a few times, and could at least google what to do next: “Yes, I have good experience.”
If you don’t have any experience: “I have used it before. I generally pick up programs very fast, and I’m a quick learner.”
Mistakes (some interviewers may ask about a time you made a mistake, or a weakness of yours):
Good answers are those with solutions.
Bad answer examples: “Sometimes I don’t catch mistakes before sending things.” OR “I don’t like working with other people”
Good answer examples: “I had a problem catching typos, so I implemented steps that force me to check my work.” OR “I prefer to do things on my own so I know it’s done right, but I’m working on trusting my teammates to take on pieces as well.”
Someone asks if you’ve ever led a team / managed a project:
Try to say YES to this question (even if it is a lie)
If you have, say yes, and say how many people were on the team.
If you haven’t, but you played a large role in a group of people, say yes, and talk about your primary role on the team.
If you haven’t, but you worked solo on something that needed input from other people, say yes, and say what the project was about.
Additional:
Misc Rules
You can ask people to repeat interview questions
You can write down interview questions while they’re asking (write the basics of the question down for yourself, like the top things you have to answer). People will wait for you to finish writing, you don’t have to answer Immediately.
Try to keep your answer to questions somewhere between 30 seconds to 1 minute and 30 seconds. You don’t have to time it, but if you find that your answers are taking 3 minutes, you might lose interest.
Have a list of projects / bragging points to talk about in advance
Try to make sure they at least answer the core question asked, don’t just bring up a completely unrelated topic
Example: if you are really excited to talk about a program you wrote, and someone asks about balancing projects, you can say you are good at AUTOMATION, and an example is this program you wrote
“Do you have any questions for us?” (A question asked at the end of most interviews.)
“What has been your favorite part of working at [company]?”
“What’s been your favorite project to work on?”
People like talking about themselves
Thank you emails
Some employers care if you send them a thank you “letter” (email). Sometime by the end of the day (you can do it right after the interview if you think you’ll forget), send a thank you email like this (you can look up other templates, or ask a friend for help):
Subject Line: Thank You
“Hi [interviewer name], It was great speaking with you. Hearing more about the role, as well as what you said about [their answer to a question you asked them] has made me even more excited for this opportunity. Thank you for your time today, [Your Name]
Good luck!!
Im gonna need this in 2 years!
Honestly the “applying and interviewing for a job” is harder and more stressful than actually doing the job 999% of the time for me. I hate it so much.
Wait they ask about mistakes and weaknesses because they want to hear about solutions?! That makes so much more sense! Why dont they just verbalize the solution part!
The combination of being autistic and being entry level makes it extra hell.
For anyone who is unaware, MAP means “minor attracted person” though this is nothing but a false name Pedophiles use in attempt to weasel their way into the Queer community. If you see anyone using this flag, block them and report them if you can.
i made chicken gnocchi soup (like from olive garden but better. because i made it myself) and something they don’t tell you is that when you make soup so many beautiful men and women kiss you on the lips and compliment your self sufficiency and masterful broth. how come they don’t tell you that
one time as a kid I forcefully shoved two magnets together, and these were the strong magnets my dad used in his shop to pick-up missing little metal bits, and I held them really tightly in the palm of my hand, went up to this one kid who legit said things like “I think black cats are bad, they should be drowned” and drew crosses on the notebooks of kids if she found out they didn’t go to church, I told her “Hey. I’m a witch. If you don’t stop trying to hurt animals and picking on kids, I’ll use my magic to throw you into the sky”, and when she dared to doubt my powers I told her that I had two “rocks” in my hand that I could send across the playground, then I opened my hand the the magnets shot off in two different directions (we were over in a spot that was empty, so no other kids were around, nobody got hurt), one of them stuck to a drainpipe and the other stuck to a fence. This kid SCREAMED, and ran to the office, and I guess had her mom pick her up from school, and then she wasn’t there for a couple of days, finally her mom called my house and claimed I had “traumatized her daughter by performing a terrifying magic trick”, and when my parents asked what I did I just said “I showed her a magnet and she flipped out. She’s not gonna be happy when she finds out about gravity, either”. eventually this kid came back to school and always made a point to come up to me and say “Hey, my mom told me not to talk to you!”, and would just be like “Good job, you already screwed that up”
WHY are some parents like “ooo we hate each other but we’re staying together for the kids” no no NO you’re fucking fighting and screaming at each other every day you’re traumatizing that fucking kid and making it worse
“oh but your favorite shows are going to be delayed by the strikes” my favorite shows consistently get cancelled after 2 excellent seasons bc of the exploitive corporate greed that these strikes are fighting against
happy to announce that my latest bout of dreaming about tumblr induced in me the conviction that tumblr had just instituted a “pet” button that appeared below all pictures of an animal so that tumblr users could pet the animal. the most notable use of this was a post with a picture of a porcupine that had a thread of users below it saying ‘ouch’
