Me: Sees a male-female close friendship that never turns into romance and is instead a platonic relationship where both of them support and care for one another without any expectation for anything else
Me: Starts applauding while tears of joy roll down my face unheeded
1. I can see how people’s names and the cities and the countries are spelled.
2. I don’t miss any words, so everything they say makes sense.
3. I get to know what background noises and conversations are.
4. The descriptions of the noises people make are freaking awesome. Ex: splutter, grunt, chuckles.
5. I can see who says what.
6. I don’t have to have the volume super loud so I can hear the dialogue, and I don’t blow my eardrums out because the ambient noises and music is SO FREAKING LOUD.
I’m just going to beg that people not erase this man as a transgender Mexican man. I’m begging that during Pride month that his legacy & identity aren’t erased by people claiming him as a “lesbian icon” or a “gnc icon” or anything of the sort as it is common practice for trans men to be erased and relabeled as lesbians. We deserve to have our histories remembered as trans histories. We don’t deserve to be ignored, erased, & vilified as trans men of color. Thank you. Amelio Robles Ávila was a Mexican transgender man. That cannot be taken away.
I love the use of “therefore” in that last line as if historians were worried he’d come back to threaten them with a pistol if they misgendered him.
Please don’t erase trans man history. Especially when they’re cool as fuck like this.
“Kill them with kindness.” Of course. Just make sure you do kill them.
Glad this one resonated with people the one downside as to living in the modern era as opposed to the past is you can’t murder someone and then just fuck off to a new city and introduce yourself as “never killed a man Tom” or some shit. Too many cameras these days
People will be like oh you can’t be stargender that’s stupid you’re making it up. What even is cloudgender. Come on. Boygender and girlgender are totally real though btw. And you have to pick one or you’ll get in trouble
‘you cant make up a gender out of a random object like that!!!’
sir. excuse me sir. you literally base your entire gender identity on your fucking cock and balls
Should go without saying but never date a cop and christ never marry one. Rule of thumb if he’s legally untouchable he’s ethically unfuckable. You don’t like that cop, you like buff men in tight clothing. I can show you more of those, better ones. Take my hand.
Hi guys. This post ain’t about stereotyping random professions (farriers????), it’s about how cops are effectively legally untouchable and if they hurt you, you have virtually no recourse. A quality that none of those other professions have. It’s the inherent power imbalance of being bound to someone who can’t be prosecuted.
The “firemen cheat” thing is actually a myth, union workers are both hot and professionally stable, paramedics are stressed out but otherwise fine, physical workers are not inferior to “thinkers” don’t be fuckin classist, and “watch out for Farriers” is maybe the funniest thing anyone’s ever said on this post.
Kinda fucked up and nasty how vampires drink blood, imo. Like. Pepsi costs a dollar seventy five
Hospital
Not me I’m paying a dollar seventy five. At the hospital
I feel like we’re getting off topic
So is pepsi if you steal it?
Because it’s only a dollar seventy five
Why in God’s name would a vampire drink pepsi
Why would anyone drink Pepsi?
Huh?
That’s why I’m not a fan of the sexy vampire trope.
1. It’s overused and supports the current status quote of typical vampire supremacy:worshiping rich folk.
2. Vampires prey upon humans and therefore symbolize capitalists preying on the working class.
3. Werewolves are much sexier imo.
am I having a stroke????
you might want to go to the hospital then
I hear the Pepsi is cheaper there
Enter DAISY GRIME, a CLOWN, accompanied by FOOLS, HARLEQUINS, and JESTERS.
GRIME I say ‘tis dirty, wicked, foul, and dark – An opportunity both miss’d and scorn’d – That vampires of any shape or shade Would drink the blood of innocence most pure When Pepsi costs a dollar sev’nty five.
FIRST FOOL O lady, I must ask, and tell the truth: Wherever in this God’s green holy land Canst thou obtain this drink for such a fee? I’ve seen no less than fifty-five pence more.
GRIME A hospital, good sir.
SECOND FOOL (Does some figures) And might I ask Wherever in this land (of any hue) Is fellow who two dollar thirty pence Dost pay for si of Pep?
GRIME Not I, i’faith. I pay a mere two shillings short of two. And, once again, I pay in hospital.
CANADIAN JESTER I pay a hefty two and half for mine. But in my blood runs maple syrup, too.
GRIME O Jester fine, I pray thee, still thyself. Thou stray’st from this, our mode of speaking here.
FIRST FOOL But blood costs naught but time.
SECOND JESTER Aye, that is true; But sir, remember this in figuring: A Pepsi, too, is free, if stolen ‘tis.
FIRST FOOL I see, but – wait, another thought occurs. Wherefore, I ask thee, for what reason, sirs, Dost Lady Grime buy Pepsi from the house Of healing, birth, and death?
GRIME ‘Tis simple, friend. Allow me to explain to thee the cause. The Pepsi sold by those who follow in The footsteps of St. Luke, Evangelist Is sold for a mere dollar sev’nty five.
FIRST HARLEQUIN (Aside, to SECOND HARLEQUIN) Why wouldst a vampire drink Pepsi, then?
SECOND HARLEQUIN (Aside, to FIRST HARLEQUIN) Why wouldst an honest man drink Pepsi, sir?
FIRST FOOL A femboy, it would seem.
(There is general applause and agreement.)
GRIME O fool, a what?
Enter KONAHRIKS De’ACTIVAT EDZOZ ESQ., a SCHOLAR and WARD OF THE SKY.
WARD You see, my friends, this selfsame story tells The truth of why the incubus’s tale Is one that bears to no more to be declared. I’ll tell you all my reasons three. The first: The wealthy ghoul who drinks the common blood Is overused and stale, like molding bread; But also hangs upon the teller’s face A pallid, gasping idol worship mask. The second mark I tally here along: A vampire who sucks the blood from men Does hold up in the mind a mirror cold. This mirror shows that, far from fantasy, The vampire is real, ‘tis Elon Musk. The reason third is simple, clean, and pure: A werewolf’s just, like, sexier, my dudes.
(GRIME dances like a ferret. There is rejoicing.)
Exeunt.
Enter LARA, FELAGUND, and SHERLOCK, accompanied by the MANGO MERCHANT.
LARA I feel these words have struck me to my core. Is this, the world, collapsing to the ground Or is it just my weary, shaking soul?
FELAGUND ‘Twould seem my lady needs to see St. Luke.
SHERLOCK I’ve heard his fellows sell a Pepsi cheap.
(The MANGO MERCHANT offers a mango. All weep.)
Exeunt.
Alright that’s it, we’ve got the Shakespearan translation too, this post is complete now.
Kinda fucked up and nasty how vampires drink blood, imo. Like. Pepsi costs a dollar seventy five
Hospital
Not me I’m paying a dollar seventy five. At the hospital
I feel like we’re getting off topic
So is pepsi if you steal it?
Because it’s only a dollar seventy five
Why in God’s name would a vampire drink pepsi
Why would anyone drink Pepsi?
Huh?
That’s why I’m not a fan of the sexy vampire trope.
1. It’s overused and supports the current status quote of typical vampire supremacy:worshiping rich folk.
2. Vampires prey upon humans and therefore symbolize capitalists preying on the working class.
3. Werewolves are much sexier imo.
am I having a stroke????
you might want to go to the hospital then
I hear the Pepsi is cheaper there
Enter DAISY GRIME, a CLOWN, accompanied by FOOLS, HARLEQUINS, and JESTERS.
GRIME I say ‘tis dirty, wicked, foul, and dark – An opportunity both miss’d and scorn’d – That vampires of any shape or shade Would drink the blood of innocence most pure When Pepsi costs a dollar sev’nty five.
FIRST FOOL O lady, I must ask, and tell the truth: Wherever in this God’s green holy land Canst thou obtain this drink for such a fee? I’ve seen no less than fifty-five pence more.
GRIME A hospital, good sir.
SECOND FOOL (Does some figures) And might I ask Wherever in this land (of any hue) Is fellow who two dollar thirty pence Dost pay for si of Pep?
GRIME Not I, i’faith. I pay a mere two shillings short of two. And, once again, I pay in hospital.
CANADIAN JESTER I pay a hefty two and half for mine. But in my blood runs maple syrup, too.
GRIME O Jester fine, I pray thee, still thyself. Thou stray’st from this, our mode of speaking here.
FIRST FOOL But blood costs naught but time.
SECOND JESTER Aye, that is true; But sir, remember this in figuring: A Pepsi, too, is free, if stolen ‘tis.
FIRST FOOL I see, but – wait, another thought occurs. Wherefore, I ask thee, for what reason, sirs, Dost Lady Grime buy Pepsi from the house Of healing, birth, and death?
GRIME ‘Tis simple, friend. Allow me to explain to thee the cause. The Pepsi sold by those who follow in The footsteps of St. Luke, Evangelist Is sold for a mere dollar sev’nty five.
FIRST HARLEQUIN (Aside, to SECOND HARLEQUIN) Why wouldst a vampire drink Pepsi, then?
SECOND HARLEQUIN (Aside, to FIRST HARLEQUIN) Why wouldst an honest man drink Pepsi, sir?
FIRST FOOL A femboy, it would seem.
(There is general applause and agreement.)
GRIME O fool, a what?
Enter KONAHRIKS De’ACTIVAT EDZOZ ESQ., a SCHOLAR and WARD OF THE SKY.
WARD You see, my friends, this selfsame story tells The truth of why the incubus’s tale Is one that bears to no more to be declared. I’ll tell you all my reasons three. The first: The wealthy ghoul who drinks the common blood Is overused and stale, like molding bread; But also hangs upon the teller’s face A pallid, gasping idol worship mask. The second mark I tally here along: A vampire who sucks the blood from men Does hold up in the mind a mirror cold. This mirror shows that, far from fantasy, The vampire is real, ‘tis Elon Musk. The reason third is simple, clean, and pure: A werewolf’s just, like, sexier, my dudes.
(GRIME dances like a ferret. There is rejoicing.)
Exeunt.
Enter LARA, FELAGUND, and SHERLOCK, accompanied by the MANGO MERCHANT.
LARA I feel these words have struck me to my core. Is this, the world, collapsing to the ground Or is it just my weary, shaking soul?
FELAGUND ‘Twould seem my lady needs to see St. Luke.
SHERLOCK I’ve heard his fellows sell a Pepsi cheap.
(The MANGO MERCHANT offers a mango. All weep.)
Exeunt.
Alright that’s it, we’ve got the Shakespearan translation too, this post is complete now.
“Unexpected” my ass. We’ve been screaming for over a decade now about how we’re approaching an existential risk to humankind. When are people, including scientists, going to acknowledge how little we actually know? Why are we leaving this to chance instead of demanding better?
If you were a character in a movie/tv show/book series/etc, would tumblr consider your character to be “good rep”, “forced diversity,” “bad rep,” or something else in the fanbase
Please consider reblogging for a larger sample size
*For clarification for “rep” I just mean anything people look for representation. This could be a character who’s neurodivergent/trans/gnc/person of color/etc.
laptop overheating?? pour water on it to cool it down!
i trusted you
Do not trust people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people
Me watching the guy I was about to be over act snarky and look hot and knowing that it’s 100% my fault because I, the director, told him, the actor, that he’s supposed to act snarky and look hot in the movie scene we’re shooting:
What would you do if you just discovered that your mutual loves song that you despise and you have bad memory with that song... I know it's not a problem theoretically but how to explain this to myself. I'm sorry. I just that song makes me violent.
I wouldn’t listen to the song and I would add all versions of it’s name to my blocklist of course.
Additionally if there isn’t anything inherently wrong or immoral with the song itself or whatever then I see no problem with my mutual enjoying it.
I guess I’ll just avoid interacting with them when something has to do with music, if I’m really paranoid.
Of course, if likeing the song has moral or ethical implications/concerns then it’s a different story.
Despite the lack of a distinctive roof, this IS a Pizza Hut. You can sit down and order a Personal Pan or have one delivered. It serves the function, so it is one.
idk how anyone can look at how expensive fast food has gotten and think we’re doing okay
there used to be a dollar menu. like. one dollar. that was the gimmick. whole wide selection just one solid dollar (only one). and this was in my lifetime. i remember seeing ads for this shit. wha
Sometimes being an artist is feeling like a baker seeing a chemist making the deadliest liquid in the world and wishing you could make the deadliest liquid as well but you’re a baker, not a chemist, and then you feel like your bread is worthless
If it helps, as a writer with artist friends often feels like being a chemist surrounded by bakers. I’ll spend ages coming up with a hypothesis and then lock myself away for weeks or months only to emerge with a small vial of glowing liquid. Yes it took a lot of work, and yes I’m proud that I’ve created it, but it pales when I look across at the bakers. In the same time, they’ve made so many delicious things that make living a delight. Chances are they’ve fed me and kept me from despair while I was locked in my lab. And I envy their wonderful craft.
“Are you someone in need of a little help? Have you or a loved one failed to phisically, socially, or mentally adapt to a situation? Are you a rouge manmade creation who n-e-eeeeeeeee”
The ad glitches and gets staticy, before turning back
“-n adaptability drive! Easily installed in anyone with a mod slot in their brain and chest, allows you to change your body, equipment, and even sometimes your mind to fit in new situations!”
“By attaching a "core” item to your driver’s core slot that’s related to your situation, you can easily unlock a new skill set and stat chart!“
"So order today! And, for the next week, those who order now will be put into our exclusive "formless” program! Brought to you by The- [Static] -esearch institute"
The “car community” claim that the sexual component is small. A Google search for “car porn” suggests otherwise. Of course adults can do
You claim Rule 34 in our employee handbook is “Don’t steal office supplies”. A google search for “rule 34 the office” suggests otherwise. Of course adults can do
You claim “choking” is a medical emergency where a foreign object gets stuck deep in the throat and blocks the airway. A google research for ‘choking deep throat" suggests otherwise. Of course adults can do
I’m pretty sure those are ptarmigan tracks, not those of a rabbit who got scooped up by something! They’re birds that hop through the snow and then leave those snow-angel imprints when they take off.
I’d also honestly be kind of surprised if a predatory bird swooping down on a prey animal just left nice clean imprints like that and not a bigger disturbance in the snow.
ALT
