the-haiku-bot:

purple-pumpernickel:

the haiku bot is a baby to me. i want to tuck it in bed.

❤️❤️

the haiku bot is

a baby to me. i want

to tuck it in bed.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

isnxgxiskxbxhdidj-deactivated20:

You know when someone says something to you that just hits one of your kinks just right and your brain freezes for a few seconds

lesbiandomesticity:

pinkdolphin12:

lesbiandomesticity:

you’re sitting across from me in a shitty diner in anywhere, america, and i watch you pour too much creamer in your coffee and i think “i love you.” you look up, catching me staring, and for a moment i think i’m brave enough to say it, but i take too long and the moment passes. i take the balled up straw wraper and flick it at you, pretending that was my plan all along. you laugh. i never want to go another day without hearing that laugh. i think i will have all the time in the world to say it.

op are you okay

yes im married to her now

lesbiandomesticity:

pinkdolphin12:

lesbiandomesticity:

you’re sitting across from me in a shitty diner in anywhere, america, and i watch you pour too much creamer in your coffee and i think “i love you.” you look up, catching me staring, and for a moment i think i’m brave enough to say it, but i take too long and the moment passes. i take the balled up straw wraper and flick it at you, pretending that was my plan all along. you laugh. i never want to go another day without hearing that laugh. i think i will have all the time in the world to say it.

op are you okay

yes im married to her now

derinthescarletpescatarian:

toastyglow:

ALT

I have a thing to get to but had to get this out real quick

This is what “your emotions are valid” means.

It doesn’t mean that any random shit you do is fine so long as you’re angry or sad. It means that the anger and sadness is fine, attacking the emotion is pointless, and it’s your behaviour in response to it that can help or harm.

ao3commentoftheday:

ao3commentoftheday:

less talk about “he wouldn’t fucking say that” and more talk about “he would absolutely fucking say that if the producers would let him”

reading the notes on this post is just

ALT

kieraelieson:

crafty-butch:

crafty-butch:

having one of those executive function days where everything is too many steps

by which i mean, like, here’s how my brain parses the steps in making coffee

good day:

1. make coffee

regular day:

1. put water in coffee maker
2. put coffee in coffee maker
3. turn on coffee maker

bad day:

1. take pot from coffee maker
2. turn on sink
3. fill up coffee pot
4. turn off sink
5. pour water into coffee maker
6. put coffee pot in coffee maker
7. open cupboard
8. get coffee filter from cupboard
9. get coffee beans from cupboard
10. put filter in coffee pot
11. measure coffee
12. pour coffee into filter
13. close coffee maker
14. turn coffee maker on

anyway this is a “14 steps to make coffee” kind of day

This is actually a really good way of explaining this

the-haiku-bot:

joaniam:

medblr-td:

Not every union is perfect but oh when you get a good one, the support is powerful 💪🏽. Saw this on Twitter and whew the lesson!

This is why there are serious efforts to break up nursing unions

This is why there are

serious efforts to break

up nursing unions

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

eggwraith:

eggwraith:

opens box that reads “i wanna draw again”. inside lies a note. the note says, “mental illness and difficult circumstances have taken years of interest, accessibility, and skill away from me. i want to forgive myself for that. i want to heal my relationship to my hobbies. i want to feel connected to something that once made me feel good, but the cyclic discouragement is difficult to overcome.” i turn over the note. on the back it reads “wannta drawe sexy bodies awooga”

seems like this one really resonated with the artists who dont do art fandom

himbohysterectomy:

himbohysterectomy:

I’m curious - where do you most closely fall on this Aphantasia scale?

1

2

3

4

5

See Results

hey guys jsyk the results of this poll are gonna be fucking shit if you just vote and dont rb. since it has only 3 notes LOL

sliceocheese:

pukicho:

i want to be as healthy and as beautiful as a grazing wild ox.

wild oxen are smelly and gross

toothsalad:

snickerdoodle-factory:

toothsalad:

i found the second funniest map in the world today

What’s the funniest map?

^ magic spell of get assassinated by the turkish government

certifiedlibraryposts:

storybookprincess:

about to drop literally the sickest insider knowledge you will ever receive pls use it responsibly:

are you a teenager? do you wish you had the space & resources & organization to do a thing, whether that’s an anime club or a movie night or a big craft workshop or creative writing group or literally whatever? would you like to do your thing totally for free? yes?

okay, then bring it up to a librarian

seriously, teenagers are the absolute hardest group to engage at most libraries & we’ll often organize programs that absolutely no one will show up to & it sucks. if you go up to a public librarian & say “hey, some friends & i want to do this thing. does that sound like a feasible teen program for the library?” most people will move heaven & earth to pull it off for you because we know there’s an interest in our community. we will go balls to the freaking wall to make it happen

do you want a cosplay contest? a video game tournament? a free escape room? bring it up to the library. it’s not a burden or an annoyance at all. it’ll be like christmas came early for us

Certified library post

renthony:

renthony:

Your personal triggers and squicks do not get to determine what kind of art other people make.

People make shit. It’s what we do. We make shit to explore, to inspire, to explain, to understand, but also to cope, to process, to educate, to warn, to go, “hey, wouldn’t that be fucked up? Wild, right?”

Yes, sure, there are things that should be handled with care if they are used at all. But plenty more things are subjective. Some things are just not going to be to your tastes. So go find something that is to your tastes and stop worrying so much about what other people are doing and trying to dictate universal moral precepts about art based on your personal triggers and squicks.

I find possession stories super fucking triggering if I encounter them without warning, especially if they function as a sexual abuse metaphor. I’m not over here campaigning for every horror artist to stop writing possession stories because they make me feel shaky and dissociated. I just check Does The Dog Die before watching certain genres, and I have my husband or roommate preview anything I think might upset me so they can give me more detail. And if I genuinely don’t think I can’t handle it, I don’t watch it. It’s that simple.

#this excludes writing pedo or incest.

If you look at the tags on my original post, this post was originally about hospital horror, and how it’s allowed to exist even if an individual has medical trauma and doesn’t like the genre. But since someone wanted to go and put some shit on my post that I disagree with:

No, actually, it doesn’t exclude those things. Dark themes in fiction are allowed to exist whether you like them or not.

Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita was not a real little girl who really got brutalized. She was a fictional character. No real child was harmed. People are not reading Lolita and going out thinking, “oh, this told me to abuse children, and clearly it’s morally okay now.” The existence of Lolita is not responsible for the existence of CSA.

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare was pretty meta, but Freddy Krueger was still never real and never hurt any real kids, either. He’s a story. None of those kids ever died, none of them ever got abused, and Fred Krueger never got burned to death, because they’re all fake and never existed. Murder and CSA in the real world aren’t Freddy Krueger’s fault.

Jaime and Cersei Lannister are not real people. They are fake. They are words on paper, and actors on a screen. Lena Headey and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau are not siblings, and did not ever have real sex in the show. It was fake, simulated, not real sex. No siblings actually fucked. Nobody is watching/reading Game of Thrones and thinking, “oh, I can totally go fuck my sibling with no repercussions now!” The existence of Game of Thrones is not responsible for real-world incest.

Guillermo del Toro’s film Crimson Peak didn’t kick off an epidemic of everyone deciding it’s okay to fuck their sister and kill their wife. William Faulkner’s “A Rose For Emily” isn’t making people kill men and sleep with their corpses, and Emily never really killed Homer because neither of them actually exist in the first place.

John Wick isn’t making people run out and become hitmen. The very cute doggy that infamously dies in the first movie was not actually a real dog death–the dogs in John Wick were treated very well, according to a ScreenRant article I found!

Ghostface was played by a combination of stuntmen and a very talented voice actor, and all his murder victims were actors who were filming a pretend story. It was all choreographed and nobody really died. The benind-the-scenes stuff for the Scream series is actually really cool if you’re into that sort of thing like I am.

Arcane didn’t put grenade launchers in people’s hands and turn them into vigilante fighters juiced up on Super Drugs–and you know what, neither did any of the things the Batman franchise has churned out. The Joker and Scarecrow and Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn aren’t out there terrorizing New York City, because they’re fantasy supervillains who aren’t real and can’t hurt you.

The endless waves of bandits in Skyrim are pixels on a screen, and I’m not killing real men when I cut them down. No real people got hurt when my Sims 4 house caught fire. Playing Super Smash Brothers hasn’t gotten me into underground fighting rings, and neither did watching Fight Club.

It’s all fiction.

None of it is real.

The characters are fake and do not exist.

Curate your own media experience and get your head out of your ass.

emperorpenguin:

thebibliosphere:

ALT

When I say editing software is getting dumber, this is what I mean.

In what world is “What dinnered?” more legible than “What happened to dinner?” I just… what?!

certified-iconic-post:

lokiago:

cauliflowergnocchidyke:

i really hate coming out but still want my extended family to know, so my mother took it upon herself to invent the game “guess which one of my kids is gay.”

the rules are simple.

• sit down with uncle so-and-so
• he says something about gay people in passing
• my mom says “there’s a gay person at this table right now. guess which of my kids it is!
• he looks frantically between the three of us trying to figure out if she’s joking or not and trying desperately not to offend anyone but also she won’t continue with the conversation unless he makes a guess so he has to make a guess
• we all enjoy his discomfort immensely

This isnt coming out of the closet. This is coughing loudly from within the closet to scare the people outside of it, which is immensely more entertaining.

certified iconic post

coffinflop:

coffinflop:

thank you @elminster-big-naturals, everybody else go home

The person I reblogged this from is awesome as fuck.

appalachiananarchist:

I have an end-of-life patient to whom I spoke today. She burst out laughing and said, “It was all such fun. I just had so much fun.” I wish this for everyone. I wish that we each would meet death laughing, with little regret and even less fear.

kickair8p:

spitandvinegar:

You heard the man, folks.

Some resources:

32BJ SEIU - For cleaners, property maintenance workers, doormen, security officers, window cleaners, building engineers, and school and food service workers.

UFCW - Representing workers in the retail, grocery, packing and processing, chemical, cannabis and distillery industries.

 1199SEIU - For healthcare workers, including nurses, nurse aides, techs, lab workers, clerks, housekeepers, dietary workers, transporters, pharmacists, social workers and other medical professionals.

National Writers’ Union - Open to all writers and editors who are either published or intend to publish. 

Freelancers Union - Open to freelancers of all kinds, including artists and other creatives: if you’re not sure what industry you fit into, check this one out. 

Don’t think there’s a labor union for you?  The IWW is a union for all workers:  
https://iww.org/content/about-iww

pansyfemme:

pansyfemme:

out of this very incomplete list, which is the most annoying type of music listener

“I just listen to whatever’s on the radio”

TOP/P!ATD “Emo”

Discogs/Last.fm Dweller

Only listens to Vinyl

Severe Audiophile

slightly aggressive Pop Music Stan (Swiftie,Kpop,etc)

“just heard of this obscure band called neutral milk hotel”

“Name 5 Songs”

“Pop music is for normies. i listen to REAL shit. like queen”

Gets all song reccomendations from Tiktok audios

Only listens to musicals and soundtracks

something much worse (tags)

See Results

this is my fave poll ive ever run bc i put my own personal subtype in here (last.fm/discogs dweller) expecting to get absolutly destroyed and turns out all of you hate me the least god bless

skyline-sunset-in-my-veins:

spocks-cock:

fucktheflagandfuckyou:

autumngracy:

punkfaery:

my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

Op this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

op how could you just hide this from me in the tag this makes this objectively 10000000% funnier

50 First Doses

You trick Louis? You trick Louis like a common fool? Oh jail, jail for owners ONE MILLION YE-oh what’s this? A treat?

numberlover1729:

tandoori-frost:

unashamedly-enthusiastic:

nb-nightwing-deactivated2022111:

ALT

Im-

I would simply quit my job

Okay but this is a very easy, if embarrassing, conversation to have.

“I know the author of the work you are plagiarizing personally, and I have already contacted them to verify that you did not have permission to reference/quote, and that their work was uploaded long before your work was finished.”

And if the kid asks how you knew it was plagiarized, “I know the author personally”, or why you recognized the work, “it was a personal favor/ is not of your business as my student”, and literally every other question can be rebuffed in the same way.

Like, it seems like none of you have ever had to do professional level bullshitery and it shows.

Sure, its embarrassing to even alude to the fact you read fic, but just remember, the kid not only read your fic, but thought it was good enough to try and steal too.

“I was directly involved in the editorial process.”

you need not say more

dice-wizard:

dice-wizard:

NO NO NO TUMBLR I DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WANT TO SEE WHAT MY MUTUALS LIKED. I WANT TO SEE WHAT THEY’VE REBLOGGED. IF IT WAS WORTH SEEING THEY’LL PUT IT ON MY DASH 37 TIMES

Thank you, everyone, who’s reblogged this 37 or more times in a row and my apologies to your feeds.

baaeluu:

cambriancutie:

favorite visual gags:

• something drawn realistically to show an emotion
• something drawn poorly to show an emotion

dice-wizard:

dice-wizard:

NO NO NO TUMBLR I DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WANT TO SEE WHAT MY MUTUALS LIKED. I WANT TO SEE WHAT THEY’VE REBLOGGED. IF IT WAS WORTH SEEING THEY’LL PUT IT ON MY DASH 37 TIMES

Thank you, everyone, who’s reblogged this 37 or more times in a row and my apologies to your feeds.

dice-wizard:

dice-wizard:

NO NO NO TUMBLR I DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WANT TO SEE WHAT MY MUTUALS LIKED. I WANT TO SEE WHAT THEY’VE REBLOGGED. IF IT WAS WORTH SEEING THEY’LL PUT IT ON MY DASH 37 TIMES

Thank you, everyone, who’s reblogged this 37 or more times in a row and my apologies to your feeds.

rain-droplet:

lurlur:

dailypattondoodle:

illegallyblondethemusical:

illegallyblondethemusical:

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

okay

these are the executive functions. impairment of these functions is executive dysfunction

Oh.

OH

Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

how many need to be functioning to count as not having an executive function disorder ?

soggywetcatgirl:

soggywetcatgirl:

soggywetcatgirl:

can i sit under your desk and chew on the wires? 🥺👉👈

not for this one, buddy

there is not a single chance in hell, but thanks

birdy-boi:

slimegirlwarlock:

humjingle:

tge first rule of beibg a kittin

1. have fun
2. be yuorse,lf

3. show them no mercy

4. Get sillay

:

I am here outside your bakery. What have you done?

:

I am here outside your bakery. What have you done?

thespellkaster:

shencomix:

THEY’RE ROOMMATES!!! THEY’RE ROOMMATES AND GOOD FRIENDS!!!!!

Tch. Would’ve been funnier with breasts 🤣

accidental-homestuck:

charmy-2000:

baglsasha:

botflymother-deactivated2024022:

baglsasha:

botflymother-deactivated2024022:

someone should kill jfk. imho

Yo look up “notable events 1963” you’ll be pleasantly surprised :3

ALT

finally

The dawn of the modern era.

@accidental-homestuck

Accidental homestuck post

rosalarian:

rosalarian:

PSA as we go into spooky season and people start using activated charcoal to make foods look spooky.

Rebloggin’ for this year’s spooky season.

p2ii:

whatislife1babydonthurtme:

weaselle:

weaselle:

k-simplex-deactivated20241001:

i spent so long trying to read the word they spell out

hint:
they don’t i’m an idiot

holy shit i’m not an idiot i’m just slow if you let your eyes blur it says gay sex

Oh my god

unclefather:

stealingyourbones:

backupstardust:

hewwwwkayyyy:

You suddenly switch bodies with your icon. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the highest value) how well are you coping with that change?

I am a flat wooden cactus with a misprinted face, my anxiety is gone I am fabulous

I am a three inch tall skeleton creature with a floating hands and with potentially no feet. A single piece of sushi is a full meal. I’m thriving.

:D supremacy

gayestcowboy:

*sports announcer voice* ARE YOU ALL READY FOR FAT FAGGOT FALLLLLLL

saffronscales:

heartwarminganimals:

Trail cam catching a deer fawn with the zoomies

you hate it when girls have fun dont you

sgt-celestial:

ms word ms excel and ms powerpoint are all snooty disagreeable ladies who wont speak to me due to my meager dowry but then i meet their beautiful sister ms paint whos clumsy but charming and we fall in beautiful love. and i become mr paint

roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it:

“Cis is a slur” “don’t call me straight” ok. Faggn’t

greelin:

greelin:

my dark twisted secret is i always use my turn signals whenever possible because i believe they were included in vehicles for a reason. i’m a bit of a freak this way. a weirdo

many funny and true things going on in the notes. but also

what the hell is going on up there.

vympr:

relelvance:

vympr:

relelvance:

vympr:

relelvance:

Someone should invent a word for when you’re jumping and popping

pumping

Not quite but I would never correct a woman

im a white boy

*collars you* You’re my pet now 

this is Biden’s America

fleshdyke:

fleshdyke:

fleshdyke:

there’s a car in the student parking lot at my school COVERED in cheese 😭😭😭

when i say covered i mean it. there is cheese in the exhaust pipe

im saying