Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.
Might I add:
The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed
The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child
The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship
The adventures of a space roomba
Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)
I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head
hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):
Do you think a base is a dom or a sub in the acid/base relationship
girl… huh ??
Sub 100%
easily the dom, don’t know what you’re talking about
Touch an acid: Yeah it stings, you like that, my little bitch, right? You like it when I make you hurt? Tell me how much you love it, bitch!
Touch a base: uwu nya~ your skin is irritated btw. No need to wipe it off cause I’m cute and definetly don’t supress my psychopathic tendencies using cuteness uwu there’s a hole in your hand btw nya
acid is all energetic and bouncy, base is calm but cruel
Gentle reminder that you can be 100% pro choice and still understand that aborting a fetus because it will be disabled as a human is a eugenicist idea that comes from absolutely horrifying ideas that have been placed in western culture as a result of more overt eugenics movements in our past.
my checking account is called my Lamborghini account and my savings is called my Hollywood hills account. when I have to go to the bank they see that shit. if they knew if was from this dumb fucking video I think they would execute me
Obviously all eyes are now on Gaza but the west bank is undergoing some nauseating horrors of its own
Major checkpoints are closed, cafes are empty, the once-overflowing university classrooms are void of students and produce on the shelves of stores is starting to dwindle. Travel between cities and to surrounding villages has become a dangerous and difficult feat.
“We do not leave Ramallah – all the roads are closed and there are checkpoints everywhere. People are afraid, and we cannot take responsibility for anyone’s life,” said 35-year-old driver Ali Jamal Taleb. […]
In the occupied West Bank and East Jerusalem, the Israeli army has stepped up its daily deadly raids on Palestinian neighbourhoods, villages and cities. Killings of residents by armed settlers have also become more frequent, leaving people in a state of fear.
More than 100 Palestinians have been killed by the army and settlers in those areas over the past 21 days.
The tense atmosphere and closures in the occupied West Bank have affected almost all sectors of society.
Medieval scribes complaining about how drunk they are and how much the work sucks in the margins and colophons is fun, but for my money the imprecations they sometimes included against thieves and vandals are where the real entertainment is. One of my favourites goes something along the lines of “if anyone steals this manuscript, may he die the death” – and I’m sure which particular mechanism of demise “the death” is referring to here would have been obvious in context to contemporary readers, but looking back a thousand years later it’s wonderfully cryptic.
it would be cool if fat dudes without big beards were considered hot sometimes too.
I realized today that the main reason for the “hot fat dude must also include beard” thing is part of the whole “fat people are required to perform a higher and more perfect expression of gender”.
like usually this sort of thing is more easily identifiable in fat women, who have to be hyper feminine to be considered “attractive” by the mainstream. but I sort of blinked today and realized, oh. fat men must have beards to be attractive for the same reason fat men must wear suits and look dapper to be attractive, just like fat women have to have perfect eyeliner and wear cute pinup clothing. higher, more intense expression of gender, executed perfectly and without flaw is required for fat people to be seen as attractive.
i think it’s important to mention a major thing a beard does, other than potentially act as part of a performance of masculinity, is cover double chins. i legitimately feel leaving that out is a major oversight. double chins are societally reviled and rarely ever depicted in supposedly fat positive art.
i’ve known fat women to literally tape the skin of their neck up under their hair to try to get rid of them– not to mention trying to contour them away with makeup. (i’ve personally done both. let’s talk about the utter misery of trying to exist in public with your skin taped and painted in place, terrified if any of it fails you will be treated as disgusting.) and fat men must grow a beard, and just the right kind of hyper-groomed beard, lest they be labeled disgusting neckbeards. fat people of all genders are compelled to “learn their angles” for photos, so they can create the illusion of not having double chins if only in still images. do you know how many photos with loved ones your fat friends duck out of because they can’t know how it will turn out, and don’t want to be mocked?
accept double chins as normal. accept that you can be attracted to people with double chins. stop requiring heightened gender performance and discomfort from fat people. stop forcing tape and makeup and beards and tactical angles on fat people.
i think you’re lowballing the furry art amount tbh
I’m sorry for the inaccuracies, Doctor Yiff
no matter how I respond to this I don’t look good, well played. i walked right into that
Well, furry artists are typically more competent and courteous than your average doctor, so I can see that.
Did you just legitimately tell me that a person who draws wolf ass is more competent than a dude who spent 8+ years in a university to give you your lung transplant?
doctors are bullshit and furry artists perform an infinitely more valuable service to society compared to them
You will die in 7 days
It took doctor’s like 10 years to diagnose what was wrong with me, some insisting I was faking for attention while a furry artist I knew just went “that sounds like crohn’s” after hearing me complain once and ended up being right
Also I can’t go to a doctor and ask them to draw Rouge the Bat wider than she is tall with tits to match, now can I
[ID: a comic illustrating the above thread as if it was happening in a theater. The users are mostly shaped like their icons, pukicho is a pikachu and hokuto-ju-no-ken is a gengar. The last panel is gengar looks back where a speech bubble comes out of the crowd to say, “you could if you weren’t a fucking coward.” /end]
I can’t believe I’m actually seeing this post
Magic of tumblr,
I am morally obligated to add the YouTube video whenever this thread crosses my dash
I’ve seen this thread more than a few times. But this is the first time I’ve seen this video. So thank you for your service.
i think you’re lowballing the furry art amount tbh
I’m sorry for the inaccuracies, Doctor Yiff
no matter how I respond to this I don’t look good, well played. i walked right into that
Well, furry artists are typically more competent and courteous than your average doctor, so I can see that.
Did you just legitimately tell me that a person who draws wolf ass is more competent than a dude who spent 8+ years in a university to give you your lung transplant?
doctors are bullshit and furry artists perform an infinitely more valuable service to society compared to them
You will die in 7 days
It took doctor’s like 10 years to diagnose what was wrong with me, some insisting I was faking for attention while a furry artist I knew just went “that sounds like crohn’s” after hearing me complain once and ended up being right
Also I can’t go to a doctor and ask them to draw Rouge the Bat wider than she is tall with tits to match, now can I
[ID: a comic illustrating the above thread as if it was happening in a theater. The users are mostly shaped like their icons, pukicho is a pikachu and hokuto-ju-no-ken is a gengar. The last panel is gengar looks back where a speech bubble comes out of the crowd to say, “you could if you weren’t a fucking coward.” /end]
I can’t believe I’m actually seeing this post
Magic of tumblr,
I am morally obligated to add the YouTube video whenever this thread crosses my dash
I’ve seen this thread more than a few times. But this is the first time I’ve seen this video. So thank you for your service.
My phone doesn’t lock for some reason sometimes, and today when we popped into the grocery store, I saw something that I thought would be fun to post on tumblr with no context and took my phone out to take a picture. Pulling my phone out I discovered that I was a part of a five person video call in my friends’ group chat. I immediately noped out of the conversation, which prompted protests from my friends, telling me to get my ass back into the call, they saw a glimpse of a grocery store floor and want to hear how I’m doing and see what I’m up to. What am I buying.
I explained them that I hadn’t meant to join the call, my phone had unlocked itself in my pocket. They were like “yeah we know”, and clarified that I hadn’t accidentally joined their group call, I had accidentally called them. And four of them had just joined in on the call. This gang of feral goblins that I call my friends noticed I had called them by accident and agreed to just eavesdrop me from my pocket for shits and giggles.
my step mom was asking me more questions about the nonbinary thing and after talking to me for a bit, she said “oh, so youre a rosé! not a chardonnay transitioning to a merlot, just your own unique type” which was such a middle aged white woman way to frame it, but i cannot lie gang. it did make me want to cry
“Kill yourself” is basic. “I hope your fandom gets a new installment that is objectively a great work but also tonally dissonant from the previous ones in a way that generates a huge newbie boom of people uninterested and hostile towards the history of the franchise” is smart. It’s possible. It’s terrifying. It’s happening right now.
that ahistorical bullshit about “public schools existing to churn out perfect workers?” is in fact ahistorical bullshit
public schools were HARD-WON by people who didn’t want working-class children to be railroaded into the same hardships their parents had known via lack of education (and therefore lack of opportunities for higher-paying jobs)
yes they have their issues. but they are absolutely NOT designed to be tools of capitalism
“sex scenes have no narrative purpose” is such a funny take on so many levels. people will really believe that the whole human experience is valuable to portray artistically except sex, which of course has never held emotional weight or significance for anybody
“what’s the purpose of sex scenes in media??” well you see sometimes people have sex. sometimes it can be important even
yeah ok but i dont wanna watch straight sex scene number 1231234837582 in the middle of some movie thats clearly not fucking high art or anything, like please, tell me how the sex scene made jason X a deeper movie ill wait
you genuinely think that “the sex scene in Jason X, the movie about jason from Friday the 13th killing people in space, is bad” is a rebuttal to this point? like genuinely? genuinely? like you think that’s the kind of sex scene I was talking about in the original post? you think when I’m talking about the artistic merit of sex scenes in movies you think I’m talking about the bit with the dominatrix in Jason X (2001) dir. James Isaac, the movie where Jason from Friday the 13th gets put in cryosleep and wakes up in the future on a spaceship where he starts killing people in outer space? you genuinely think this is the kind of movie and scene I’m referring to when I’m arguing for the potential artistic value of a type of scene? Jason X? Jason X? the one with Jason on a spaceship? you think that “well Jason X, the movie about Jason on a spaceship killing people in space, is bad” is a rebuttal to my point? Jason X? Jason X? J
Did you guys ever see the car that got into an accident with a truck carrying hagfish
Can you even imagine being this person. Imagine you call your insurance and tell them you got in an accident. They ask what happened and you have to tell them your car got fucking hagfished
Once again the government tries to conceal the existence of dragons from us.
Remember when Terry played the Joker like a fiddle cause I sure do
Joker status: [ ] Told [ ] Told like a bitch [X] Batman: The Brave And The Told
Terry is literally what bruce would’ve been if his parents didn’t die. Well either that or terry got his sense of humor from his mom.
I love Batman Beyond because it’s basically Spider-Man as Batman with a healthy dosage of cyberpunk.
The best part is this isn’t just Terry fucking with Joker, Terry realized after bats told him “Joker likes to talk” that he likes to talk too. So he decided to answer joker back with something Joker was never expecting. Joker could easily deal with the typical hero “you won’t get away with this” talk or someone being absolutely quiet. But mockery? taking the piss? Telling joker straight up “you ain’t shit?”
many people see “pedophiles” as a type of villain to wish infinite angry death upon, as opposed to recognizing CSA as a preventable form of abuse. the former buys into moral panic and punitive justice; the latter is actionable, helpful, and much needed
when i went to conservative christian hell school, all we heard about was the evil scary men who wanted to snatch us up on the street. we learned about csa through strange, coded language. we were not taught how to talk about our bodies, and we were not taught what sex was. eventually, i was groomed and assaulted. so were an alarming number of my peers, often by teachers and religious leaders
then, as an adult, i got the opportunity to work at a summer camp. we developed an actionable plan to prevent campers from being alone with adult volunteers; we advocated for all of our campers to learn appropriate body part language; we led discussions about boundaries and consent; we answered questions about sex with honesty, care, and age-appropriate detail. and it was safe! the one time we identified shady behavior, there were so many safety nets and protocols in place that it never became a real issue.
so, having been in both situations, it’s frustrating to see 46387 threads a day of people angrily, viciously tearing apart the mere idea of a pedophile without ever stopping to ask “hey, what can we do about this? in real life? like, what are the advocates advocating for right now?”
i hate to break it to you, but 18+ daddy kink genshin yaoi (sorry idk i’m out of touch) isn’t the issue here, and it’s kind of silly and terminally online to pretend that it is. i would argue that adult-only erotica servers that block minors aren’t as big of a threat as, you know, “minor safe!! we are very safe for minors :) and we HATE the mean nasty scary people” communities that have a piss poor accountability system and no real mechanism for preventing abuse. there’s a huge difference between “weird gross thing that grosses me out” and “unsafe situation,” and the latter is far more worth emphasizing
Every Friday. Every Friday i either see this post or live in fear of seeing it. I can’t wake up and say ‘it’s friday’ anymore without thinking of this post. I am living a nightmare and it’s your fault
“I think fanfiction is literature and literature, for the most part, is fanfiction, and that anyone that dismisses it simply on the grounds that it’s derivative knows fuck-all about literature and needs to get the hell off my lawn.
Most of the history of Western literature (and probably much of non-Western literature, but I can’t speak to that) is adapted or appropriated from something else. Homer wrote historyfic and Virgil wrote Homerfic and Dante wrote Virgilfic (where he makes himself a character and writes himself hanging out with Homer and Virgil and they’re like “OMG Dante you’re so cool.” He was the original Gary Stu). Milton wrote Bible fanfic, and everyone and their mom spent the Middle Ages writing King Arthur fanfic. In the sixteenth century you and another dude could translate the same Petrarchan sonnet and somehow have it count as two separate poems, and no one gave a fuck. Shakespeare doesn’t have a single original plot—although much of it would be more rightly termed RPF—and then John Fletcher and Mary Cowden Clarke and Gloria Naylor and Jane Smiley and Stephen Sondheim wrote Shakespeare fanfic. Guys like Pope and Dryden took old narratives and rewrote them to make fun of people they didn’t like, because the eighteenth century was basically high school. And Spenser! Don’t even get me started on Spenser.
Here’s what fanfic authors/fans need to remember when anyone gives them shit: the idea that originality is somehow a good thing, an innately preferable thing, is a completely modern notion. Until about three hundred years ago, a good writer, by and large, was someone who could take a tried-and-true story and make it even more awesome. (If you want to sound fancy, the technical term is imitatio.) People were like, why would I wanna read something about some dude I’ve never heard of? There’s a new Sir Gawain story out, man! (As to when and how that changed, I tend to blame Daniel Defoe, or the Modernists, or reality television, depending on my mood.)
I also find fanfic fascinating because it takes all the barriers that keep people from professional authorship—barriers that have weakened over the centuries but are nevertheless still very real—and blows right past them. Producing literature, much less circulating it, was something that was well nigh impossible for the vast majority of people for most of human history. First you had to live in a culture where people thought it was acceptable for you to even want to be literate in the first place. And then you had to find someone who could teach you how to read and write (the two didn’t necessarily go together). And you needed sufficient leisure time to learn. And be able to afford books, or at least be friends with someone rich enough to own books who would lend them to you. Good writers are usually well-read and professional writing is a full-time job, so you needed a lot of books, and a lot of leisure time both for reading and writing. And then you had to be in a high enough social position that someone would take you seriously and want to read your work—to have access to circulation/publication in addition to education and leisure time. A very tiny percentage of the population fit those parameters (in England, which is the only place I can speak of with some authority, that meant from 500-1000 A.D.: monks; 1000-1500: aristocratic men and the very occasional aristocratic woman; 1500-1800: aristocratic men, some middle-class men, a few aristocratic women; 1800-on, some middle-class women as well). What’s amazing is how many people who didn’t fit those parameters kept writing in spite of the constant message they got from society that no one cared about what they had to say, writing letters and diaries and stories and poems that often weren’t discovered until hundreds of years later. Humans have an urge to express themselves, to tell stories, and fanfic lets them. If you’ve got access to a computer and an hour or two to while away of an evening, you can create something that people will see and respond to instantly, with a built-in community of people who care about what you have to say.
I do write the occasional fic; I wish I had the time and mental energy to write more. I’ll admit I don’t read a lot of fic these days because most of it is not—and I know how snobbish this sounds—particularly well-written. That doesn’t mean it’s “not good”—there are a lot of reasons people read fic and not all of them have to do with wanting to read finely crafted prose. That’s why fic is awesome—it creates a place for all kinds of storytelling. But for me personally, now that my job entails reading about 1500 pages of undergraduate writing per year, when I have time to read for enjoyment I want it to be by someone who really knows what they’re doing. There’s tons of high-quality fic, of course, but I no longer have the time and patience to go searching for it that I had ten years ago. But whether I’m reading it or not, I love that fanfiction exists. Because without people doing what fanfiction writers do, literature wouldn’t exist. (And then I’d be out of a job and, frankly, I don’t know how to do anything else.)”
lookin at the first few moments thinkin “what’s wrong with that foreleg? is it folded under the cat at a funny angle? is the cat missing half that leg? wait. no. it’s just buried up to the elbow in wool”
Fun fact. Lanolin, the oil in wool which makes it water resistant, has a scent similar to one produced by nursing mother cats which induces nursing behaviour in kittens. A lot of cats will exhibit this behaviour with wool blankets for the same reason.
The adorable behavior she is showing at the end, deep treading and pressing the flat.of her head against the sheep, rooting her nose around in the sheep’s wool, ears turned sweetly back, is STRONG kitten nursing behavior. This cat is a full adult and doing unusually Baby things. I’d say that checks out. She’s treating the sheep like Mom. Adults, even those with residual nursing behaviors, don’t often go THIS baby. I wouldn’t be surprised if the cat were actually suckling. She’s incredibly happy.
The sheep seems to be very much enjoying it as well. I loooove this.
you guys HAVE to take “is dumb” off the end of your username. you have to take “my shit rambles” out of your talking tag. you have to stop apologizing for existing. I get so sad for every url I see like “[name]’s-stupid-reblogs” and every blog I open with a title like “pointless posts” and every opinion post I see tagged something derogatory by op!! speaking as someone whose post tag used to be “makes bad posts.” stop actively putting up roadblocks for yourself!! why do we always say bullying is bad but never when we’re bullying ourselves
Zombies shouldn’t growl or snarl, they should babble a mixture of incomplete word sounds and whole words or sentence fragments. Every zombie should sound almost but not quite like it’s trying to tell you something.
this may not be what you’re saying, but what I’m hearing is that zombies should make everyone feel like they’ve developed sudden onset audio processing disorder.
Like if you could just hear it more clearly, you’d understand what they’re saying, but in reality it’s nonsense and there’s nothing to understand.
And damn if it doesn’t convince so many folks that their loved ones are still in there, they just need to keep them locked up safely in the barn until someone finds the cure, then everything can go back to the way they were.
THIS is exactly what this particular zombie trope is missing. Like we all understand, conceptually, that this still looks like someone they love, but it would be 1000 times more effective if it still somewhat behaved like someone they love.
oooh muscle memory. i’m not into zombie media enough to tell if this has been done or not but. zombies that will automatically reach into their pocket for their phone when they hear a ring, even if it’s dead, broken or lost. zombies that reach up to play with their hair or necklace, the same way your loved one did. zombies that bite their nails. a zombie rolling up its sleeves with perfect practice while looking at you with the utterly blank eyes of a dead animal
This is why I really love The Return of the Living Dead because they introduced not only the whole “zombies eat brains” thing, but they talked. They communicated that they were in pain, and if they ate brains, it would make the pain go away momentarily. It’s what made them so much more interesting and horrifying to me because there was no clean-cut way to kill them, and they’re suffering the whole time, allowing you to actually see them as people again. Also, they were smart!! They could figure out how to solve puzzles! An unstoppable force that you can not defeat.
I just think everyone should know that the only thing I was thinking about when I wrote this post originally is how I don’t understand what my cat is trying to tell me when he says “meow.”
There are a lot of notes here and it’s not my fault, I was looking at my cat and thinking about how he probably doesn’t think like directly in sentences because he’s a cat so his brain is probably more like [thing / concept-feeling] -> (noise type) insofar as his body has the ability to make a sound associated with something that his brain has the capacity to formulate, so I can’t really understand my cat per se, but I wish I knew what exactly his concept-feeling sounds were in more detail other than when he’s begging for food.
so when straight people ask me why I say I’m “queer” or “gay” instead of sharing my actual identity as a panromantic demisexual non-binary sapphic queer I just tell them “ok look, when you’re talking to someone who isn’t local and they ask you where you’re from and you either say the name of the largest city nearby or ‘town name, suburb of large nearby city’ so they can get some geographical context of where you’re located right, bc they’re probably not going to know the name of the little town you actually live in.”
but if you’re talking to a local you can say the name of your actual town bc they have a greater chance of knowing where/what that is.
ok well when I’m talking to a straight person I start with queer bc chances are they aren’t as familiar with the context of all the little towns in that big queer city and need gps (gay positioning system) to find me.
if I’m talking to another queer person and I say I live in a suburb of gay city in a town called panromantic on the demisexual side of the tracks which is in the county of queer and I live off the intersection of non-binary and sapphic, they’d probably be able to find me with little to no problems, make sense?
Also because my exact address in Queertown is usually nobody’s business.
You ended up in a utopian parallel world. The catch? People are so good in that world, that you’re now literally the most evil person alive.
I never knew I had so much potential in me. That I could be some one who is remembered years and years after my death. Although to be remembered as the most evil person to have existed in the history of humanity isn’t exactly pleasant, it is still a great achievement.
I threw garbage outside the trash can on more than one occasion. I cut the line at the ATM machine. I even played Stairway to Heaven inside two guitar stores while trying out guitars with speakers. All this I did within a week and I’m all over the news with just this.
God knows I was born to be great. I love this world so much. These people are too good to punish me too harshly so the worst I’ve faced is to be assigned two yoga classes a day for one whole week. I even enjoyed few of the punishments. The pineapple pizza wasn’t really bad but rather enjoyable. I’m really evil, clearly.
[ID: A 6-panel, black and white comic. The panels are as follows:
1. The text “There is only one pronoun in Cantonese” next to that pronoun, 佢, written in grid paper.
2. White text against black. It reads, “Not neutral as in a statement. Neutral as in ‘never considered’“
3. A child on the ground, laying on their stomach with a pen in hand, in front of the paper with
佢
on it. Text next to them reads, “I think that’s part of why I didn’t consider gender much as a kid”
4. Someone wearing a qipao and two braids, drawn from the neck down. They put a hand up in a “stop” gesture at someone else’s hand, which reaches towards them from offscreen. Text reads, “But like the Mandarin 他 / the white people came / split 女 from 人”
5. Text reading “Split
into 他 她” The two pronouns are written so that they form the labels of bathroom doors.
6. A person gestures forward. Blood drips from their mouth and the center of their palm. Text reads, “I gender myself in a tongue that is not my own / and taste the bitterness of colonization”
