October 2023

pigeoncatunderscore:

“the worst they could do is say no” well they could also beat me to death with bricks have you considered that

rainbow-femme:

rainbow-femme:

The three kinds of bird species name

1. God’s Specialist Little Boy

2. Hot Breasted Milf

3. Grey Bird With Brown Head

4. Walter’s Fingernail

aileaxthevoidien:

potato:

spaghhetto:

life would be so much better as a potato

i cant move

Good

effemimaniac:

effemimaniac:

not very good at asking for things that I want

“the worst they could say is no” not even true and also have you considered that kind of sucks

as a potato tumblr veteran, do you remember any other old potato blogs that were popular years ago but do not exist/are not active anymore?

potatofacts:

No one except @potato. The potato gimmick genre exploded really recently. In fact, [random thing]-facts blogs were what inspired this blog.

marge Simpson "I just think they're neat" memeALT

complete-clownery:

complete-clownery:

complete-clownery:

he’s very excited about his first night as a jack o lantern

my boy

I love how its getting closer to that time of year again and ppl starting to reblog my boy again

blueengland:

peoplecallmelucifer:

blueengland:

what the fuck

You were chosen!

Who are you how did you find me

The great one!

blueengland:

peoplecallmelucifer:

blueengland:

what the fuck

You were chosen!

Who are you how did you find me

stainedinink:

reblog to give the pervious person a nice rock

terri-theslime13:

villainessbian:

terri-theslime13:

villainessbian:

terri-theslime13:

villainessbian:

terri-theslime13:

villainessbian:

Reblog to double it and give it to the next person

double what?

Quantity

Quantity of?

Double what it was before

well what was it before?

Half as much

Oh I see now!

unregistered-hypercam2:

the evolution here is also a solid contender for meme of the year 2019

artoftcbaldwin:

citadelofmythoughts:

“Trans people act like the world is out to get them.”

Well, let me know when one of the two major political parties in the USA makes the elimination of everyone like you a key plank in their political policy.

I’m tired y'all.

It’s genuinely very scary. Especially if you live in a majority conservative state. We have to live with the fact that a pack of evil, rheumy eyed ghouls will call for our executions because they need something to scare their constituents into voting for them.

trapny:

Mobile game ads paint a bizarre world where a mysterious fae, or maybe some trickster god of the hearth, will create puzzles inside the chimneys of those in need, with lava and unmarked gold coins as a prize for the needy if the puzzle is solved correctly. And the burden of solving the puzzle is placed upon some outside observer, on an entire other plane of existence.

The trickster afflicts the observer with frustrating visions that leave the people cold, hungry and poor, before enticing them to give it a try themselves.

“It’s so easy! You can do better. You can help them.” The trickster whispers in your ear. A soft voice with breath that softly, almost unnoticeably brushes against your skin, yet sends shivers down your spine.

You watch as the molten rock and gold solidifies inside their chimney. Even if they had the coal to burn, the smoke would fill their house and drive them out into the freezing winter, coughing and wretching.

The crying of the mother and child both beckons and mocks you.

“just a few taps. And you can help them.” The trickster speaks with a barely disguised smile. It’s a tantalizing offer. Everyone wants to make a difference after all.

But now there’s an X in the corner of the screen. A way out. An escape from this view of a portal to misery.

Your finger hovers over the X.

“Are you sure?” The trickster whispers. It knows of the conflict in your mind, and it wishes to stir the pot.

“Have you no heart? Have you no desire to help?” The trickster’s voice brushes softly against your ear.

You hit the X. A white screen appears. Words flash before your eyes. “Play now!”

“Play now”.

“Play”.

For the trickster this is nothing but a game. You know this already. It’s a game for you too.

Does the mother know that? Does the child?

The five seconds are over.

Your finger once again hovers over an X.

“A pity.” The trickster hums in your ear, their frown making it’s way into their sing-song tone. “You would truly leave them cold, naked, and alone. Desperate for a justice you, and only you, could provide. But I guess there’s always next time.”

You cannot see the trickster.

You never could.

But you know they are smiling.

As you press the X, severing your connection, your chance to make a difference, the trickster whispers one more thing in your ear.

“see you again soon.”

And as your screen blinks away, you know the trickster is still smiling.

He is the only one.

vulgarmaw:

amulet-coin:

vulgarmaw:

Could a homosexual lend me, an asexual, a single use of the word flaming?

YOU have obtained:

  • 🔥 ×1

I, a flaming asexual, need someone to please call the fire department. It is an emergency.

zinjanthropusboisei:

zinjanthropusboisei:

Tweet by @woodlandbirder: "an old beer bottle in monks wood NNR, used as an anvil to smash open countless snails by countless song thrushes. the bottle may have been used by the birds for more than half a century, it's embossed 'Huntingdon Breweries Ltd', who ceased production in 1954. @NE_WestAnglia" Two photos of an old pitted beer bottle on the ground surrounded by cracked snail shells.ALT

Obsessed with this actually

The notes on this post:

1. Oh, it’s about birds, not people. *tosses aside a rock*

2. How were the birds picking up the bott- oh.

3. Cracking open the boys with a cold one

gertritude-art:

gertritude-art:

A doodle of myself looking at a computer, vaguely disgusted and disgruntled.  A description pointing at me reads, "30 minutes into researching the discourse some random account was vagueposting about, only to just now realize it was stupid as hell and everyone involved is still in high school."ALT

classic online experience

big thank you to the tumblypoos for understanding the spirit of this post (the curse of being chronically online and nosy) and not typing one million comments going “yeah! fuck teenagers,” as has been the trend on twitter

amiru-shrubfeast:

callmedarthrevan:

segretecose:

not the coquettes literally reinventing nazi phrenology on tiktok

Yeah just a heads up. If you start judging people by bodyshape in any way I’ll kick you right in the teeth. Have fun describing someone’s face shape as inferior when your jaw is gone

pjharvey-moved-deactivated20250:

pjharvey-moved-deactivated20250:

pjharvey-moved-deactivated20250:

joe biden appoints weird bug to be in charge of the night time is one of my all time fav images ever

legitimately this will never get old to me i laugh every time i see it and i think about it several times a week

no it’s real

chartreuxcatz:

Shout out to Linda. The he/him asexual woman from my psychology quiz from a few years ago

shiningnightstars:

mmmmmmm im gonna regret this i think

well. if this post get 10k notes by the time i get my adhd evaluation, theeeeen ill read homestuck. im not telling you WHEN my adhd evaluation is, you just gotta hope and pray it isnt soon. ill be nice and give you a 1 week warning though!

good luck, timer starts now :D

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99

wizardlyghost:

gummybearattacktheworldofdespair:

hewwwwkayyyy:

You suddenly switch bodies with your icon. On a scale of 1 to 10, (10 being the highest value) how well are you coping with that change?

2

respectissexy:

Tumblr is currently serving me an ad for “Voda, the LGBTQ mental health app” offering “daily meditations, self-care and AI advice” and as a therapist I am begging you not to download an app where an AI tries to help you with your mental health. Please do not. They tried to have an AI chatbot counsel eating disorder patients and it told them to diet. That shit is not safe. Do not talk to an AI about your mental health please. You don’t need to talk to a professional but talk to a PERSON.

greelin:

:

greelin:

greelin:

thinking about how bad my blood would probably taste in actuality. given my diet

once again. for the good of humanity, yeah

Blood Heritage Post

all types of blogs out there. that’s so crazy

punksdocrimes:

Oh fuck

avocadosalad:

thehmn:

Years ago I was told there’s an easy way to test if someone has aphantasia: ask them how many windows are in their home. They might ask if windows in doors or windows that leads into other rooms count and you can tell them yes or no because the answer doesn’t actually matter.

Once they tell you the answer ask them how they came to that number. The majority will say they imagined standing in each room and looked around. People with aphantasia will either say they don’t know because they never counted them, or that they know they have three rooms facing an outer wall so there must be at least one window in each of those rooms or another method that used logic rather than imagination.

This isn’t meant to out someone as having aphantasia or anything like that. It’s just a handy method if someone is wondering if they have it, or a fun little exercise between friends with no judgement. You can even do the test on yourself and quickly work out if you have to use imagination or logic.

kelsismedium:

fairglassbird:

Ads for weight loss should be illegal. Hope this helps.

ads should be illegal. hope

potato:

getinmypantskbcw:

Me @ myself: how do you establish dominance over a potato

no . potato is domant

potato:

thatoneflowerfangirl:

Guys, focus in class. Unlike me, scrolling on tumblr looking at potatoes

no .look at potato

I can't decide if I wanna eat dick or potato please help

potato:

dick

only-tiktoks:

Steal your identity

What-

Murder

vaspider:

arthropod-diagnosis:

crevicedwelling:

some guys idk

army of them.

borbo from my shows (sitting outside in the evening)

memeuplift:

embrace-monkey-brain:

Can y'all STOP with the AI mental health apps??? This is too serious for this nonsense! You can’t trust people’s mental well-being to experimental systems that can’t even consistently produce basic factual information! AND especially when you’re target audience is so systematically exploited! Fuck you. Just fuck this nonsense.

marblerino-hornetucciliano-deac:

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⬜️⬛️🟪⬜️⬛️🟪🟪
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🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪

You just got Micheal Aftoned! Send this to all your friends to totally Micheal Afton them!

potato:

socoffeeunicorn:

@potato how are you

i am alone

can u give me advice for long-term care of potatoes??

potato:

ğentle

What is the best way to eat a potato?

potato:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Never use your mouth. Only your potatorifice.

pleaşe no