September 2023

catboybeebop:

tothechaos:

tothechaos:

tothechaos:

slicedcheesegremlin:

catboybeebop:

tothechaos:

tothechaos:

:

tothechaos:

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

:)

Do Not Do This To Me

if this post hits 200k im printing it out and eating it

because i dont hate myself im putting a time limit on this. if this post hits 200k by the end of august 2023, THEN i will eat this post. you have my word

so you all tried to get me to see my own demise via a rube goldberg device of my own hubris but were unable to in the time provided

however.

i love chaos. so im giving tumblr ONE MORE WEEK to see if you losers can prove me wrong because i genuinely dont believe you can. you have until midnight EST on september 7th to get this post to 200k. after that youre shit outta luck and i may turn off reblogs out of spite and self preservation

C'MON LADS WE CAN STILL DO IT

cobwebinthecorner:

pawsdraws:

molabuddy:

thewarmvoid:

You won’t find much old literature about “girls who wanted to be boys” bc the ppl who would have written them were more often than not institutionalized & the books that have been written have often been recontexualized as feminist lit about “women divesting from gender norms”.

Dreaming of a world where people see transmasc erasure not as transmascs + men complaining about not being popular online and more about the deliberate and intentional burying of our history and existence as a whole.

my-beloved-fandoms:

complete-clownery:

complete-clownery:

complete-clownery:

he’s very excited about his first night as a jack o lantern

my boy

I love how its getting closer to that time of year again and ppl starting to reblog my boy again

okay this is all i need. i need to make jack o lanterns this year

centerpointsorcerer:

prokopetz:

gallusrostromegalus:

So I was having a conversation with a friend about old anime and in the middle of it she forgot the word “canonical” and she instead inflicted a spectacular new aesthetic and slew of mental images on me by saying the phrase “Biblically Accurate Ouran High School Host Club”.

Etymologically, “bible” simply means “book”, so any film or television adaptation of media originally published in book form that’s true to its source material can technically be described as “biblically accurate”.

draco-the-voiddragon:

slimylittlemaggot:

draco-the-voiddragon:

lavender-flowergarden:

alright 1000 notes and I will do 1 dare from yall

@massivemilkbags @stormlendinez @aileaxthevoidien @ash-the-nekogirl @cow-stealin-gal @cowboy-in-training @snailmusic @slimylittlemaggot @crystaza @cryptotheism @mentally-unstable-avocado

ATTACK!

LETS GOOO!!!! @the-spine-eater @the-bone-theif @aceforwhatevenisthis

How did I forget these ones? ☝️

And @applegameisprollytaken @the-chaos-goose @the-arcade-doctor @exra-ace-wizard @anti-wizard-council

transhuman-priestess:

spacelazarwolf:

transfaguette:

god apparently Walgreens has a policy where employees can refuse to complete a transaction if it goes against their moral or religious beliefs…like lets get this straight a pharmacist can refuse to give a customer their prescribed medication because they disagree with it. and technically theyre supposed to hand it off to another employee. but this doesnt always happen. literally leaving people without condoms or contraceptives or HRT or any number of things because the employee simply didn’t want to. Incredibly ghoulish policy that has no right to exist. I’m sorry if you work in a pharmacy and can’t do your literal job because its too “morally challenging” for you, you should not have that job!

ppl always wanna be like “but freedom!!!!!!” like ya freedom to get a new fucking job that doesn’t require u to do things that are “against ur morals.” go work at hobby lobby dipshit.

Not for nothing, but they go to work these jobs because they can do this.

To a lot of evangelicals in medicine, this sort of thing is the main reason they do it. To them, refusing to dispense birth control and HRT and condoms isn’t an inconvenience, it’s their calling.

submissiveblender:

0x5742:

themainspoon:

If your RPG game has sex scenes it should have skill checks as a part of those sex scenes. Let me fail my roles and do bizarre and comedic shit! Let me bungle my charisma roll and say some deeply strange and unsexy shit, let my character slip and fall mid scene, let my character simply stare at somebodies genitals while slowly formulating a plan of attack, let them bust out their deeply unimpressive “secret technique”, let the get distracted and stop midway through because they need to check something.

I don’t want to watch your perfectly crafted and extremely sensual sex scene, I want to play the game!

Bard: I seduce the chambermaid.

DM: Okay, roll charisma.

Bard: *rolls a 1*

DM: Mid-sentence, you fart loudly. It echoes down the hall. The tavern cook sticks his head in. “Enjoyed my beans, did you?” he says.

Bard: I also seduce the cook.

DM: *sighs* Roll charisma.

Bard: *rolls a 20*

Cook: Luckily for you, I do enjoy beans

nonamehorse:

aquilacalvitium:

handhond:

gemstone-gynoid:

biraptor123:

redwyverndht:

queerlilacroses:

astrathepasta:

missjukebox8bit:

hellothepixel:

metroid-fusion:

missjukebox8bit:

hellothepixel:

pinkiepaaws:

gemstone-gynoid:

aircraftsillustrated1976-deacti:

Hotel Transylvania

im sorry the what

this one

the current meme is based on the following which is based on that one

which i assume is from tumblr based on how one of the panels is lifted from that “its ok i am a lesbo” picture

So the timeline is

- I am lesbo

- I’m stuff

- i am lesbo x I’m stuff fusion

- transfem Jonathan and transmasc mavis

as far as anyone can tell this is the original “I am a lesbo” image, for the record

I’m sobbing oh my god

I heard…now don’t shoot the messenger but this is the og I am gay tho

Why the fuck is it woody and bolt

WHY THE FUCK IS IT WOODY AND BOLT

Wait why does Dracula refer Joanne as *his* daughter?

if your child marries someone, that partner becomes your daughter-in-law or son-in-law. 

There is

So much going on here

where is the shitting tooth paste tho???

scarletbirbs:

I wanna pull this out of the tags re: the FCC working to restore net neutrality.

The current FCC chairwoman is Jessica Rosenworcel, a democrat. There are 5 FCC commissioners who vote on the important things regarding the FCC.

Back in late 2017 when the first fight for net neutrality happened, there were 3 republican commissioners and 2 democrat commissioners. I, back when I was a college freshman, personally sent a letter to every single one of them begging them not to repeal net neutrality. Rosenworcel’s office was the only one who replied to me. She and the other democrat commissioner opposed repealing net neutrality, but they were outvoted 3-2.

Fast forward to today, Jessica Rosenworcel is now the FCC chairwoman and FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE NET NEUTRALITY WAS REPEALED, there is a democrat majority of FCC commissioners.

The timing of this cannot be understated, Anna M. Gomez, a democrat, was just sworn in as an FCC commissioner on September 25th, 2023.

Jessica Rosenworcel has literally been biding her time to restore net neutrality and the SECOND she got the votes to do it, she started pushing it through.

Everyone say thank you to Jessica Rosenworcel for remaining steadfast on net neutrality all these years…

jarmes:

cornerfolks:

adobe is actively pushing to make art styles intellectual property covered under copyright law and artists online are doing shit like this

you guys are all so fucked like you dont even understand what youre doing do you seriously think this is in your favour for the love of god hello am i alone in this world. youre leading yourself to the slaughter

Also, if your problem is AI art: Adobe is also making an ai art generator

Adobe does not want to ban AI art. They want it to only exist in the hands of wealthy copyright holders. They want art styles to be copyrighted for the same reason: so they can make money from owning other people’s work. So they can sue you for drawing something too similar to an art style they own

Adobe is not your friend. Expanding copyright law is far more dangerous for artists than AI will ever be

bemusedlybespectacled:

memesandmylife:

hey jsyk while hellofresh is dummy expensive and i wouldn’t reccomend it if you already know how to cook (if you’re a beginner like i was when i had it for 3 months, then it’s worth it), you should know that ALL OF THEIR RECIPES are free on their website and they all fuck hard

i will say that all the cooking instructions for veggies are pretty much the same (season with salt + pepper and roast on the top oven rack at 425F), but if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

that being said, it also introduced me to methods i wasn’t at all expecting. i would have never thought to use cream cheese in my meat sauce, and now all my friends are constantly asking me to make my special rigatoni.

happy cheffin! :)

I am a person who uses Hello Fresh for realsies because it is a bit cheaper than groceries here and definitely cheaper than takeout, but we also remake the recipes when we want a specific one and don’t want to wait for it to come around in the rotation again, and therefore I know The Secret Translations of Proprietary Ingredients:

thedandeliongarden:

lilyremigia:

yamada-ryo:

Got called ‘madam’ for the first time today which was unexpected but what really got me was that when I looked down at the guy’s nametag it was my fucking deadname on there

[image description: screenshot of a comment

giskie

That was one of the fae

/end description]

Oh neat, you found the fae you traded your name to!

troutperch:

the most “cocomelon shit” i’ve ever experienced in my life was the time i was in calculus II and some girl in front of me was googling “assorted animals” and scrolling through pictures of clipart pigs and horses and shit on her laptop completely focused like it was her tax form

lilyremigia:

yamada-ryo:

Got called ‘madam’ for the first time today which was unexpected but what really got me was that when I looked down at the guy’s nametag it was my fucking deadname on there

*pets the boi*

tulipsempai:

So much love for the tiny Red plushy💕

unpretty:

seeing people comment on that first aid kit post like “what are you people doing that you need this” is so wild because like. i have a coworker who got her finger slammed in a door at exactly the right spot and angle to somehow pop the entire tip of her finger off. the whole joint just came apart! it’s not like the door was sharp. she had her hand in the wrong place at the wrong time. sometimes you’re trying to get the groceries inside and shit happens. injuries are not a punishment exclusively meted out to those that live dangerously.

mozilla-firefucks:

bellybuttonblue2:

“Ecology without class struggle is just gardening” —Chico Mendes

mozilla-firefucks:

bellybuttonblue2:

“Ecology without class struggle is just gardening” —Chico Mendes

cipheramnesia:

anais-ninja-bitch:

ralfmaximus:

anais-ninja-bitch:

ralfmaximus:

laughingsquid:

A Cocktail Dress Made Out of 2,652 Pennies

  1. Weight: about 14.6 pounds (6630 grams)
  2. It probably smells faintly of blood

Why blood? Because hemoglobin in our blood has a lot of iron and thus has a metallic scent, similar to the coppery smell of a bunch of pennies collected together.

People who do things like floor an entire room in pennies counsel that you really need to seal/varnish the finished surface otherwise the smell can be pervasive.

what if i want to smell like blood?

You want vampires? Because that’s how you get vampires.

i mean….

Kinda forgot what website they were on for a minute, huh?

queerpeers:

queerpeers:

roseycanvas:

queerpeers:

xuxii-bunny:

queerpeers:

queerpeers:

yeah im “transitioning” *dissolves into tiny pieces as i click to the next slide*

Is there a transfem version?!?

ask and ye shall receive

Nonbinary version?

enjoy 💛🤍💜🖤

like status: sick 😎

peanutbutter-and-jellie:

wizard-of-external-combustion:

charlottan:

21st century doom scroller: ugghh we need to do something about all the problems:/

13th century doom scroller: At last, my divine scroll will bring terror across all the lands and rend those who step in my way. Arise, my victory, over this realm

Inspirational

Inspirational

eating-the-inedible:

tsamired:

eating-the-inedible:

eating-the-inedible:

ROUND ONE: Silicone wristbands vs. Human meat

Choose an inedible:

Silicone wristbands

Human meat

See Results

Propaganda:

Silicone wristbands:

  • chewy. they are the best for oral stims and also have funky colors :3
  • they r so fun to chew. i had like a rainbow ish one i got from a pride event i love it sm


Human meat:

  • Go feral. Become a freak. Devolve. Return to your beastly nature. Kill. Maim.
  • I desperately want to consume it despite near certainly receiving some consequence for doing so

love this for us

Silicone wins because human meat is very edible

my dear child

everything is edible

bemusedlybespectacled:

memesandmylife:

hey jsyk while hellofresh is dummy expensive and i wouldn’t reccomend it if you already know how to cook (if you’re a beginner like i was when i had it for 3 months, then it’s worth it), you should know that ALL OF THEIR RECIPES are free on their website and they all fuck hard

i will say that all the cooking instructions for veggies are pretty much the same (season with salt + pepper and roast on the top oven rack at 425F), but if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

that being said, it also introduced me to methods i wasn’t at all expecting. i would have never thought to use cream cheese in my meat sauce, and now all my friends are constantly asking me to make my special rigatoni.

happy cheffin! :)

I am a person who uses Hello Fresh for realsies because it is a bit cheaper than groceries here and definitely cheaper than takeout, but we also remake the recipes when we want a specific one and don’t want to wait for it to come around in the rotation again, and therefore I know The Secret Translations of Proprietary Ingredients:

lilyremigia:

yamada-ryo:

Got called ‘madam’ for the first time today which was unexpected but what really got me was that when I looked down at the guy’s nametag it was my fucking deadname on there

autismserenity:

shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey:

sparkletindi:

covington-shenanigans:

thebigbiwolf:

korben600:

dankarchaeologymemes:

ichatcomputers:

debelice:

Eclipse in Chile

It’s wilder than that. You feel the temperature drop around you. Animals start to freak out cause they think night has fallen. Even more crazy is shadow snakes. Where you see the shadows around you start to shimmer. Kind of like the shadows of atmospheric disturbances you see during really hot days or near a fire.

You can learn more about this in SmarterEveryDay’s video

And here’s a video that captures the shadow snakes

My unga bunga ancestors, absolutely surrounded by shadow snakes during an eclipse

Also, the overall tone of the light is wrong and it’s almost impossible to articulate why.

It’s not dark per se, but the light doesn’t just seem dimmed, it seems like it’s in a different spectrum.

It feels like when a movie puts a filter over the film to indicate that something very very bad is happening, like an eldritch horror has arrived offscreen, and the bad light is slowly sucking your soul out of your body, only it’s real life, and the bad light permeates everywhere.

Imagine being a caveman and looking up one day to see the sky has gone dark and what looks to be God’s eye is starting directly at you

took this on my porch during the partial solar eclipse in 2017. those crescent-shaped shadows are because that’s just what the sun was doing. they were everywhere. it was wild

Also if you’re even slightly sensitive to barometric pressure you can physically feel it drop like a ROCK the minute the sun fades. It’s one of the spookiest feelings I’ve ever had.

Remember everyone that there is going to be a solar eclipse NEXT YEAR (2024) on the 8th of April, which will hit large portions of the eastern US, so now is as good a time as any to see if its within reach of you, and make travel arrangements if so

based on this thread, I’m gonna assume the travel arrangements will be the away kind

the-wounded-faerie:

Stolen from @tinysweetvoid but i wanted to make it a bit more descriptive

adonischildsupportcase:

my-names-kris:

leafwateraddict:

tiktoksthataregood-ish:

This entire video was a rollercoaster from start to finish

i cant believe you havent seen the dude who turns every image ever into the polish flag… he even did it with just an image of the color green…

my-names-kris:

leafwateraddict:

tiktoksthataregood-ish:

This entire video was a rollercoaster from start to finish

i cant believe you havent seen the dude who turns every image ever into the polish flag… he even did it with just an image of the color green…

myconetted:

myconetted:

myconetted:

would someone buy me an infrared thermometer for no good reason at all? i really want one but i just came up with a quota for impulse purchases and i’ve already far surpassed it

and the award goes to @nthfunct for amazing commitment to the bit. eta september 8 !!! i’m gonna use it to measure bugso and also the hoods of various cars. and surfaces.

HAHAHA GET MEASURED IDIOT

bugso turning to look at the IR thermometer while i take his temperature with it. it reads 24.4°CALT

his fur is the same temperature as my phone …

stickfigureviolence:

sometimes i wish the gay people in my phone were gay people in my house. where i could give them snacks and blankets and hear the sound of their laughter

2010s-nostalgia:

sluttyquarantinetheory:

ten-and-donna:

chauvinistsushi:

mcclellansmelf:

So Pokemon Go came out and I legit walked around for three hours in the dark, met like five of my neighbors also looking for Pokemon, and saw a grown ass man trudge into a pond. What a time to be alive.

nintendo’s plan to make everyone get out the house is working spectacularly if a bit odd.

“Working spectacularly, if a bit odd” is Nintendo’s entire goddamn business model.

Why? Why would you do this to me? What do you mean 2010s nostalgia? Excuse me? Hello? @2010s-nostalgia

thequeenwanderer:

gothicashworld:

ilikeyoshi:

chu-likes-minecraft:

ilikeyoshi:

chu-likes-minecraft:

ilikeyoshi:

me: i wish i could turn off certain mobs. i’d love to play more survival mode but the spiders really upset me :(

my dad, the most stoic person in existence, LEAPING out of his chair with great concern: I AM NOW OBSESSED WITH THIS PROBLEM. I WILL PROCEED TO SPEND THE NEXT MONTH SCOURING THE INTERNET FOR NICHE MODS OR CONSOLE COMMANDS IN HOPES I CAN BRING YOU AND THE ENTIRE MINECRAFT PLAYERBASE PEACE.

my dad, a week later, more distraught than i’ve ever seen: brittany it’s awful. i’ve been googling around for solutions to your spider problem and lots of little kids have asked for help on the same issue and people online were Mean to them. i cannot type fast enough to stop all of them. this is a crisis right now

if you play java edition i can make a datapack that kills all spiders when they spawn so you don’t get a chance to see them

hi!! i do play java edition, and any help would be amazing!! my current method involves a small redstone machine in the spawn area and command blocks, but i’ve not looked into datapacks since getting back into playing. they seem like they’d be more intuitive though, so i’d love some help!! :0

it’s done :]

https://www.planetminecraft.com/data-pack/no-spiders-5590849/

EEEEEEE thank you so much!!!!!! i can’t wait to try it out!!!! :D

For arachnaphobes this is a game changer, thank you OP

This is great news for all the gamers who get the jeebies from spiders but we can not ignore the stoic Super Dad who is on the forums beating back Minecraft bullies with a stick defending the youth.

You are my hero, Brittany’s Stoic Dad

did u know that there's no character limit for an ask if it's not anonymous? it just can't be over 4k characters in a block.

:D

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Ooh, black and yellow!Let's shake it up a little.Barry! Breakfast is ready!Coming!Hang on a second.Hello?Barry?Adam?Can you believe this is happening?I can't.I'll pick you up.Looking sharp.Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those.Sorry. I'm excited.Here's the graduate.We're very proud of you, son.A perfect report card, all B's.Very proud.Ma! I got a thing going here.You got lint on your fuzz.

Ow! That's me!Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.Bye!Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!Hey, Adam.Hey, Barry.Is that fuzz gel?A little. Special day, graduation.Never thought I'd make it.Three days grade school, three days high school.Those were awkward.Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive.You did come back different.Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.Hear about Frankie?Yeah.You going to the funeral?No, I'm not going.Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.Don't waste it on a squirrel.

Such a hothead.I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.That's why we don't need vacations.Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances.Well, Adam, today we are men.We are!Bee-men.Amen!Hallelujah!Students, faculty, distinguished bees,please welcome Dean Buzzwell.Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15.That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries!Will we pick our job today?I heard it's just orientation.Heads up! Here we go.

Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.Wonder what it'll be like?A little scary.Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group.This is it!Wow.Wow.We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive.Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey!

That girl was hot.She's my cousin!She is?Yes, we're all cousins.Right. You're right.At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence.These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.What do you think he makes?Not enough.Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.What does that do?Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it.Saves us millions.Can anyone work on the Krelman?Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones.But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.

The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.What's the difference?You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years.So you'll just work us to death?We'll sure try.Wow! That blew my mind!"What's the difference?"How can you say that?One job forever?That's an insane choice to have to make.I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?Why would you question anything? We're bees.We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?Like what? Give me one example.I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.Wait a second.

Check it out.Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!Wow.I've never seen them this close.They know what it's like outside The Hive.Yeah, but some don't come back.Hey, Jocks!Hi, Jocks!You guys did great!You're monsters!You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!I wonder where they were.I don't know.Their day's not planned.Outside The Hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.Right.Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.It's just a status symbol.Bees make too much of it.Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.Those ladies?Aren't they our cousins too?Distant. Distant.Look at these two.

Couple of Hive Harrys.Let's have fun with them.It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!Oh, my!I never thought I'd knock him out.What were you doing during this?Trying to alert the authorities.I can autograph that.A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?Yeah. Gusty.We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.Six miles, huh?Barry!A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.Maybe I am.You are not!We're going 0900 at J-Gate.What do you think, buzzy-boy?Are you bee enough?I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!Dad, you surprised me.You decide what you're interested in?Well, there's a lot of choices.But you only get one.Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?Son, let me tell you about stirring.You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.You get yourself into a rhythm.It's a beautiful thing.You know, Dad, the more I think about it,maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!

Barry, you are so funny sometimes.I'm not trying to be funny.You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!You're gonna be a stirrer?No one's listening to me!Wait till you see the sticks I have.I could say anything right now.I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!Let's open some honey and celebrate!Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!I'm so proud.We're starting work today!Today's the day.Come on! All the good jobs will be gone.Yeah, right.Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal...Is it still available?Hang on. Two left!

One of them's yours! Congratulations!Step to the side.What'd you get?Picking crud out. Stellar!Wow!Couple of newbies?Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!Make your choice.You want to go first?No, you go.Oh, my. What's available?Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.Any chance of getting the Krelman?Sure, you're on.I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.Wax monkey's always open.The Krelman opened up again.What happened?A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!Oh, this is so hard!Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler.

Barry, what do you think I should... Barry?Barry!All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine...What happened to you?Where are you?I'm going out.Out? Out where?Out there.Oh, no!I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?Another call coming in.If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today.Hey, guys.Look at that.Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.Really? Feeling lucky, are you?Sign here, here.

Just initial that.Thank you.OK.You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats.Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us.Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!That's awful.And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions!

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

Black and yellow!Hello!You ready for this, hot shot?Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.Wind, check.Antennae, check.Nectar pack, check.Wings, check.Stinger, check.Scared out of my shorts, check.OK, ladies,let's move it out!Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!All of you, drain those flowers!Wow! I'm out!I can't believe I'm out!So blue.I feel so fast and free!Box kite!Wow!Flowers!This is Blue Leader, We have roses visual.

Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.Roses!30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.Stand to the side, kid.It's got a bit of a kick.That is one nectar collector!Ever see pollination up close?No, sir.I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one.See that? It's a little bit of magic.That's amazing. Why do we do that?That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.Cool.I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow, Could be daisies, Don't we need those?Copy that visual.Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move.Say again? You're reporting a moving flower?

Affirmative.That was on the line!This is the coolest. What is it?I don't know, but I'm loving this color.It smells good.Not like a flower, but I like it.Yeah, fuzzy.Chemical-y.Careful, guys. It's a little grabby.My sweet lord of bees!Candy-brain, get off there!Problem!Guys!This could be bad.Affirmative.Very close.Gonna hurt.Mama's little boy.You are way out of position, rookie!Coming in at you like a missile!Help me!I don't think these are flowers.Should we tell him?I think he knows.What is this?!Match point!You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it!Yowser!Gross.There's a bee in the car!Do something!I'm driving!

Hi, bee.He's back here!He's going to sting me!Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze!He blinked!Spray him, Granny!What are you doing?!Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable.I gotta get home.Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain.Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!Ken, could you close the window please?Ken, could you close the window please?Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out.Oh, no. More humans.

I don't need this.What was that?Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes!That is diabolical.It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.What's number one? Star Wars?Nah, I don't go for that... kind of stuff.No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds.When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it.I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me.Wait! Stop! Bee!Stand back. These are winter boots.Wait!

Don't kill him!You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me!Why does his life have less value than yours?Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling.My brochure!There you go, little guy.I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure.My whole face could puff up.Make it one of your special skills.Knocking someone out is also a special skill.Right. Bye, Vanessa.

Thanks.Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.You could put carob chips on there.Bye.Supposed to be less calories.Bye.I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something.All right, here it goes.Nah.What would I say?I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human.I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to.Oh, I can't do it. Come on!No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't.How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good.Here she comes! Speak, you fool!Hi!I'm sorry. You're talking.Yes, I know.You're talking!

I'm so sorry.No, it's OK. It's fine.I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed.Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting.This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me.And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised.That was a little weird. I'm talking with a bee.Yeah.I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me!I just want to say I'm grateful.I'll leave now.Wait! How did you learn to do that?What?The talking thing.Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey."

You pick it up.That's very funny.Yeah.Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with.Anyway... Can I... get you something?Like what?I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee?I don't want to put you out.It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.It's just coffee.I hate to impose.Don't be ridiculous!Actually, I would love a cup.Hey, you want rum cake?I shouldn't.Have some.No, I can't.Come on!I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.Where?These stripes don't help.You look great!

I don't know if you know anything about fashion.Are you all right?No.He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison.He finally gets there.He runs up the steps into the church.The wedding is on.And he says, "Watermelon?I thought you said Guatemalan.Why would I marry a watermelon?"Is that a bee joke?That's the kind of stuff we do.Yeah, different.So, what are you gonna do, Barry?About work? I don't know.I want to do my part for The Hive, but I can't do it the way they want.I know how you feel.

You do?Sure.My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.Really?My only interest is flowers.Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan.Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it?You're in Sheep Meadow!Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once.Why do girls put rings on their toes?Why not?It's like putting a hat on your knee.Maybe I'll try that.You all right, ma'am?Oh, yeah. Fine.

Just having two cups of coffee!Anyway, this has been great.Thanks for the coffee.Yeah, it's no trouble.Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life.Are you...?Can I take a piece of this with me?Sure! Here, have a crumb.Thanks!Yeah.All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not.OK, Barry.And thank you so much again... for before.Oh, that? That was nothing.Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...This can't possibly work.

He's all set to go.We may as well try it.OK, Dave, pull the chute.Sounds amazing.It was amazing!It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.Humans! I can't believe you were with humans!Giant, scary humans!What were they like?Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.They eat crazy giant things.They drive crazy.Do they try and kill you, like on TV?Some of them. But some of them don't.How'd you get back?Poodle.You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see.You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal.Well...Well?Well, I met someone.You did? Was she Bee-ish?A wasp?!

Your parents will kill you!No, no, no, not a wasp.Spider?I'm not attracted to spiders.I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face.So who is she?She's... human.No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law.Her name's Vanessa.Oh, boy.She's so nice. And she's a florist!Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!We're not dating.You're flying outside The Hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite!She saved my life! And she understands me.This is over!Eat this.This is not over! What was that?They call it a crumb.It was so stingin' stripey!And that's not what they eat.That's what falls off what they eat!You know what a Cinnabon is?No.

It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up...Sit down!...really hot!Listen to me!We are not them! We're us.There's us and there's them!Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning?There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me!You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee!Thinking bee.Thinking bee.Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!There he is. He's in the pool.You know what your problem is, Barry?I gotta start thinking bee?How much longer will this go on?It's been three days! Why aren't you working?

I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about.What life? You have no life!You have no job. You're barely a bee!Would it kill you to make a little honey?Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you.Martin, would you talk to him?Barry, I'm talking to you!You coming?Got everything?All set!Go ahead. I'll catch up.Don't be too long.Watch this!Vanessa!We're still here.I told you not to yell at him.He doesn't respond to yelling!Then why yell at me?Because you don't listen!I'm not listening to this.

Sorry, I've gotta go.Where are you going?I'm meeting a friend.A girl? Is this why you can't decide?Bye.I just hope she's Bee-ish.They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena?To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering.A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events?No. All right, I've got one.How come you don't fly everywhere?It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster.Yeah, OK, I see, I see.All right, your turn.TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!You don't have that?We have Hivo, but it's a disease.

It's a horrible, horrible disease.Oh, my.Dumb bees!You must want to sting all those jerks.We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us.So you have to watch your temper.Very carefully.You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust.Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?Yeah.What is wrong with you?!It's a bug.He's not bothering anybody.Get out of here, you creep!What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?Yeah, it was. How did you know?It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.You've really got that down to a science.I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.I'll bet.What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this?

How did this get here? cute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select?Is he that actor?I never heard of him.Why is this here?For people. We eat it.You don't have enough food of your own?Well, yes.How do you get it?Bees make it.I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it!There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing!It's organic.It's our-ganic!It's just honey, Barry.Just what?!Bees don't know about this!

This is stealing! A lot of stealing!You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have!And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this.I'm getting to the bottom of all of this!Hey, Hector. You almost done?Almost.He is here. I sense it.Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around.You're busted, box boy!I knew I heard something.So you can talk!I can talk. And now you'll start talking!Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier?I don't understand.I thought we were friends.

The last thing we want to do is upset bees!You're too late! It's ours now!You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword!You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio!Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where!Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!Crazy person!What horrible thing has happened here?These faces, they never knew what hit them. And nowthey're on the road to nowhere!Just keep still.What? You're not dead?Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed?

To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here.I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off!I'm going to Tacoma.And you?He really is dead.All right.Uh-oh!What is that?!Oh, no!A wiper! Triple blade!Triple blade?Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!Why does everything haveto be so doggone clean?!How much do you people need to see?!Open your eyes!Stick your head out the window!From NPR News in Washington,I'm Carl Kasell.But don't kill no more bugs!Bee!Moose blood guy!!You hear something?Like what?Like tiny screaming.

Turn off the radio.Whassup, bee boy?Hey, Blood.Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see.Wow!I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours.Bees hang tight. We're all jammed in.It's a close community.Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own.What if you get in trouble?You a mosquito, you in trouble.

Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack!At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls.Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.You got to be kidding me!Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee!Hey, guys!Mooseblood!I knew I'd catch y'all down here.Did you bring your crazy straw?We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit.What is this place?A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead.They are pinheads!Pinhead.Check out the new smoker.Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000!Smoker?Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.

Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.They make the honey, and we make the money."They make the honey, and we make the money"?Oh, my!What's going on? Are you OK?Yeah. It doesn't last too long.Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls?Our queen was moved here. We had no choice.This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen!What is this?Oh, no!There's hundreds of them!Bee honey.Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale!This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something.Oh, Barry, stop.Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor.Do these look like rumors?

That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this?He's been talking to humans.What? Talking to humans?!He has a human girlfriend. And they make out!Make out? Barry!We do not.You wish you could.Whose side are you on?The bees!I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night.Barry, this is what you want to do with your life?I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees!Dad, I remember you coming home so overworkedyour hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop.

I remember that.What right do they have to our honey?We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!Even if it's true, what can one bee do?Sting them where it really hurts.In the face! The eye!That would hurt.No.Up the nose? That's a killer.There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters.Hive at Five, The Hive's only full-hour action news source.No more bee beards!With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi.

And Jeanette Chung.Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.And I'm Jeanette Ohung.A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally!Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon.Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.Did you ever think,

"I'm a kid from The Hive. I can't do this"?Bees have never been afraid to change the world.What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.We were thinking of stickball or candy stores.How old are you?The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century.You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too.It's a common name.

Next week...He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots...Next week...Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em.Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live.Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish.In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.Honey, her backhand's a joke!I'm not gonna take advantage of that?Quiet, please.

Actual work going on here.Is that that same bee?Yes, it is!I'm helping him sue the human race.Hello.Hello, bee.This is Ken.Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.Why does he talk again?Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working.But it's our yogurt night!Bye-bye.Why is yogurt night so difficult?!You poor thing.

You two have been at this for hours!Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help.Frosting...How many sugars?Just one. I try not to use the competition.So why are you helping me?Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now.Those are great, if you're three.And artificial flowers.Oh, those just get me psychotic!Yeah, me too.Bent stingers, pointless pollination.

Bees must hate those fake things!Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done.Maybe this could make up for it a little bit.This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.I guess.You sure you want to go through with it?Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty!It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak.What have we gotten into here, Barry?It's pretty big, isn't it?

I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day.You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers?Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade.What's the matter?I don't know, I just got a chill.Well, if it isn't the bee team.You boys work on this?All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding.All right. Case number 4475,Superior Court of New York,Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session.Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively?A privilege.Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world?I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed.Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us.If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean.I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches!Talking bee!How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry?They could be using laser beams! Robotics!

Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids!Mr. Benson?Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives.Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys!I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are!I wish he'd dress like that all the time.

So nice!Call your first witness.So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have.I suppose so.I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron!Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms.Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term.I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you?No.I couldn't hear you.No.No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey.

They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.You mean like this?Bears kill bees!How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away.So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. Where have I heard it before?I was with a band called The Police.But you've never been a police officer, have you?No, I haven't.No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name.Oh, please.

Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!That's not his real name?! You idiots!Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005.Thank you. Thank you.I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow.I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?Not yet it isn't.

But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir?Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now!This isn't a goodfella.This is a badfella!Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?!Order in this court!You're all thinking it!Order! Order, I say!Say it!Mr. Liotta, please sit down!I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side.Are we doing everything right, legally?

I'm a florist.Right. Well, here's to a great team.To a great team!Well, hello.Ken!Hello.I didn't think you were coming.No, I was just late I tried to call, but... the battery.I didn't want all this to go to waste,so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.Oh, that was lucky.There's a little left. I could heat it up.Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby.

That's where I usually sit. Right... there.Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill.You think I don't see what you're doing?I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.Do we?Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out.That's just what I was thinking about doing.Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz.

I hope that was all right.I'm going to drain the old stinger.Yeah, you do that.Look at that.You know, I've just about had it with your little Mind Games.What's that?Italian Vogue.Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.A lot of ads.Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine?Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here!I love the smell of flowers.How do you like the smell of flames?!Not as much.Water bug! Not taking sides!Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat!This is pathetic!

I've got issues!Well, well, well, a royal flush!You're bluffing.Am I?Surf's up, dude!Poo water!That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings!Kenneth! What are you doing?!You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it!We need to talk! He's just a little bee!And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time!Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them!Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster!

Goodbye, Ken.And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man!I'm sorry about all that.I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it!I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it.Oh, well.Are you OK for the trial?I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas.We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers...Yeah.Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over.Don't worry.

The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees.You got the tweezers?Are you allergic?Only to losing, son. Only to losing.Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know.What exactly is your relationship to that woman?We're friends.Good friends?Yes.How good? Do you live together?Wait a minute... Are you her little... bedbug?I've seen a bee documentary or two.

From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children?Yeah, but...So those aren't your real parents!Oh, Barry...Yes, they are!Hold me back!You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson?He's denouncing bees!Don't y'all date your cousins?Objection!I'm going to pincushion this guy!Adam, don't! It's what he wants!Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit!Order! Order!The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see?

You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way!Adam, stay with me.I can't feel my legs.What Angel of Mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks?I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please!The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed Turn Against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery.Hey, buddy.Hey.Is there much pain?

Yeah.I... I blew the whole case, didn't I?It doesn't matter. What matters isyou're alive. You could have died.I'd be better off dead. Look at me.They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it.What was it like to sting someone?I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then...and then ecstasy!All right.You think it was all a trap?Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this.What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world.

What will the humans do to us if they win?I don't know.I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad.Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!Oh, my.Could you get a nurse to close that window?Why?The smoke.Bees don't smoke.Right. Bees don't smoke.Bees don't smoke!But some bees are smoking.That's it! That's our case!It is? It's not over?Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can.And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.Mr. Flayman.Yes? Yes, Your Honor!Where is the rest of your team?Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.

Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time.I actually heard a funny story about...Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on?They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses.I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case!Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion.But you can't! We have a terrific case.

Where is your proof?Where is the evidence?Show me the smoking gun!Hold it, Your Honor!You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun.What is that?It's a bee smoker!What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee.Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps?Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man?What are we gonna do?He's playing the species card.

Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees!Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees!

The court finds in favor of the bees!Vanessa, we won!I knew you could do it! High-five!Sorry.I'm OK! You know what this means?All the honey will finally belong to the bees.Now we won't have to work so hard all the time.This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson.You'll regret this.Barry, how much honey is out there?All right. One at a time.Barry, who are you wearing?My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.What if Montgomery's right?What do you mean?We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years.Congratulations on your victory.

What will you demand as a settlement?First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps.Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop.We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine.We're all aware of what they do in the woods.Wait for my signal. Take him out.He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine.And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames...But it's just a prance-about stage name!...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments.

Can't breathe.Bring it in, boys!Hold it right there! Good.Tap it.Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups and there's gallons more coming!I think we need to shut down!Shut down? We've never shut down.Shut down honey production!Stop making honey!Turn your key, sir!What do we do now?Cannonball!We're shutting honey production!Mission abort.Aborting pollination and nectar detail.Returning to base.Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there.

Oh, yeah?What's going on? Where is everybody?Are they out celebrating?They're home.They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in.I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket.At least we got our honey back.Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't?It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it.This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now...Now I can't.I don't understand why they're not happy.I thought their lives would be better!

They're doing nothing. It's amazing.Honey really changes people.You don't have any idea what's going on, do you?What did you want to show me?This.What happened here?That is not the half of it.Oh, no. Oh, my.They're all wilting.Doesn't look very good, does it?No.And whose fault do you think that is?You know, I'm gonna guess bees.Bees?Specifically, me.I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things.It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.That's our whole SAT test right there.Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom.And then, of course...The human species?

So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it?I know this is also partly my fault.How about a suicide pact?How do we do it?I'll sting you, you step on me.That just kills you twice.Right, right.Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going.I had to open my mouth and talk.Vanessa?Vanessa? Why are you leaving?Where are you going?To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena.They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying.It's the Last Chance I'll ever have to see it.Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.I never meant it to turn out like this.I know. Me neither.Tournament of Roses.

Roses can't do sports.Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?Roses!Vanessa!Roses?!Barry?Roses are flowers!Yes, they are.Flowers, bees, pollen!I know.That's why this is the last parade.Maybe not.Could you ask him to slow down?Could you slow down?Barry!OK, I made a huge mistake.This is a total disaster, all my fault.Yes, it kind of is.I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse.Actually, it's completely closed down.I thought maybe you were remodeling.But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined.I don't want to hear it!All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen.

I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park.All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got.Bees.Park.Pollen!Flowers.Repollination!Across the nation!Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California.They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy.Security will be tight.I have an idea.Vanessa Bloome, FTD.Official floral business. It's real.Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.Thank you. It was a gift.Once inside, we just pick the right float.How about The Princess and the Pea?I could be the princess, and you could be the pea!Yes, I got it.Where should I sit?What are you?I believe I'm the pea.The pea?It goes under the mattresses.

Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.I'm getting the marshal.You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco!Let's see what this baby'll do.Hey, what are you doing?!Then all we do is blend in with traffic... without arousing suspicion.Once at the airport, there's no stopping us.Stop! Security.You and your insect pack your float?Yes.Has it been in your possession the entire time?Would you remove your shoes?Remove your stinger.It's part of me.I know. Just having some fun.Enjoy your flight.

Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job.Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job!I think this is gonna work.It's got to work.Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay.Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it.I gotta get up there and talk to them.Be careful.Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.Captain, I'm in a real situation.What'd you say, Hal?Nothing.Bee!Don't freak out!

My entire species...What are you doing?Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!Who's an attorney?Don't move.Oh, Barry.Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry!What happened here?There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded.One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious!Is that another bee joke?No!No one's flying the plane!This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status?This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York.Where's the pilot?He's unconscious, and so is the copilot.

Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience?As a matter of fact, there is.Who's that?Barry Benson.From the honey trial?! Oh, great.Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee.It's got giant wings, huge engines.I can't fly a plane.Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?Yes.How hard could it be?Wait, Barry!We're headed into some lightning.This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing.Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory...That's Barry!...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew.

Flowers?!We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience.Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane.I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres.They've done enough damage.But isn't he your only hope?Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all.Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times?"The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."Get this on the air!Got it.Stand by.We're going live.The way we work may be a mystery to you.

Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs.But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference.More than we realized. To us, to everyone.That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O.We get behind a fellow.Black and yellow!Hello!Left, right, down, hover.Hover?Forget hover.This isn't so hard.Beep-beep! Beep-beep!Barry, what happened?!Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time.That may have been helping me.

And now we're not!So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out!Move out!Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane!Don't have to yell.I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble.It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice!It's not a tone. I'm panicking!I can't do this!Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it!You snap out of it.You snap out of it.You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!

Hold it!Why? Come on, it's my turn.How is the plane flying?I don't know.Hello?Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there?The Pollen Jocks!They do get behind a fellow.Black and yellow.Hello.All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop.Where? I can't see anything. Can you?No, nothing. It's all cloudy.Come on. You got to think bee, Barry.Thinking bee.Thinking bee.Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something.What?I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.Bring the nose down.Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

What in the world is on the tarmac?Get some lights on that!Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!Vanessa, aim for the flower.OK.Cut the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys?Affirmative!Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.Land on that flower!Ready? Full reverse!Spin it around!Not that flower! The other one!Which one?That flower.I'm aiming at the flower!That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees!Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.Rotate around it.This is insane, Barry!

This's the only way I know how to fly.Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern?Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse!Just drop it. Be a part of it.Aim for the center!Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!Come on, already.Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!Yes. No high-five!Right.Barry, it worked!Did you see the giant flower?What giant flower? Where? Of courseI saw the flower! That was genius!Thank you.But we're not done yet.Listen, everyone!This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth.That means this is our Last Chance.

We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this.If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains?We're bees!Keychain!Then follow me! Except Keychain.Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this.Yeah!I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.Oh, yeah.That's our Barry.Mom! The bees are back!If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time.

I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight!Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next?Would you like some honey with that?It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel!Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat!I had no idea.Barry, I'm sorry.Have you got a moment?Would you excuse me?My mosquito associate will help you.Sorry I'm late.He's a lawyer too?I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase.Have a great afternoon!Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere.No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me.

You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next?All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly.Thank you, Barry!That bee is living my life!Let it go, Kenny.When will this nightmare end?!Let it all go.Beautiful day to fly.Sure is.Between you and me,I was dying to get out of that office.You have got to start thinking bee, my friend.Thinking bee!Me?Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it.I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here?I'm not making a major life decision during a production number!All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys.I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

stealingyourbones:

:000

Dude that’s positively incredible. What a wonderful prompt.

You can go in so many directions with this one. Like, what if the plane didn’t land properly? What if the Bees were never subjected to the smoke? What if this idea focused more on the ideals of capitalism rather than the ideals of communism.


The best prompt I’ve gotten in the entirety of my existence on tumblr. Thank you for such a wonderful ask <3

swirlycowboobs-deactivated20231:

woosh-floosh:

passionpeachy-deactivated202312:

Had a dream I was gaming so hard during a run of Deltarune that I somehow unlocked all the unreleased chapters even the ones that haven’t been made yet and I pulverized through every single enemy just by running into them really fast, making them violently explode into scattered pixels with my sheer force. I was having fun until suddenly the screen went white and a very visibly upset Mario appeared (because I was playing on the switch) and he was sitting on a folding chair with his hands clasped together and he asked me “what the fuck is a-wrong with you”. immediately woke up

Artist interpretation

good heavens Real? real

troutperch:

the most “cocomelon shit” i’ve ever experienced in my life was the time i was in calculus II and some girl in front of me was googling “assorted animals” and scrolling through pictures of clipart pigs and horses and shit on her laptop completely focused like it was her tax form

unbidden-yidden:

scrubfeast:

willow-wanderings:

amaraqwolf:

Good news: if you’re currently laying around and not producing anything, you are a credit to your species.

It’s recently been found that even hive insects rest. Bees will play with colorful toys. Ants sleep for about 1 minute but they do it so frequently it amounts to a few hours per day. Even trees take breaks.

The only things that work without rest are machines; literally everything that lives requires rest.

EVERYTHING THAT LIVES REQUIRES REST. STOP JUDGING YOURSELF FOR NOT BEING A ROBOT.

And even machines need to rest all the time. Even unfeeling blobs of steel need maintenance, upkeep, and care. They need to be turned of every now and then to cool down.

Rest is sacred

hater-of-terfs:

Community Fridges (”Freedges”)

One of many mutual aid tactics that’s blown up during the pandemic, a freedge is simply a refrigerator set up in a public space to be filled and utilized by the community, typically cared for by a group of volunteers who clean, stock, and check up on the freedge every so often

freedge.org has a map of existing freedges (shown above), guides to start your own, and even gives microgrants to people who want to set up a freedge in their area

If you have excess produce from your garden, space in your front yard, or even an old working fridge you’re trying to get rid of, look for a freedge organization in your community - or start your own!

related: Little Free Pantries • mutual aid groups • Food Not Bombs

foxes-in-love:

A comic of two foxes, one of whom is blue, the other is green. In this one, Blue and Green are foraging for mushrooms, carrying little woven baskets, which are empty. Green is looking around himself, as Blue spots something.
Green: Have you found any mushrooms yet?
Blue: No, but look!

Both Blue and Green pause to look at a tree with a curve on the trunk.
Blue: A curved-up tree!
Green: I want to take a picture of it!

Green takes out his phone to snap a picture.
Blue: That thing definitely has ghosts in it.
Green: Oh, definitely.

Two ghosts, unseen by the foxes, pose next to their tree.
Ghost 1: Oh look, they are taking our picture!
Gost 2: Smile!ALT

animentality:

donnovien:

One of the realest things someone said on the Internet

pompomdemiel:

pompomdemiel:

A latinx sibling need ur help 🇻🇪

Hey everyone, it’s been a while.

as many of you know I’m going through some tough times dealing with benzodiazepine withdrawal and depression. It’s not easy, but I’m working on it

i’ve felt very demoralized by asking for help on here but i’ve talked with some friends and some of you said it wasn’t a problem and it was okay to ask for help

If you’re willing and able any support would help cover my living expenses (like rent, food and bills) and my weekly therapy sessions. if someone knows about any jobs online please let me know, i’m willing to work whatever i know fluent english and spanish. i can write stories, translate stuff, i know how to work around photoshop and feel able to take care of costumers too

i’ll leave my links here

p*yp*l

k*fi

0$/650$

reblogs and sharing my story helps a ton too, if there’s anything you want to know please let me know and we have chat, being skeptical about strangers online it’s okay…

thank you if you read this and thank you for the help everyone

big hugs 💛

110$/650$

hey guys i’m sorry i will be rebloging this a lot rent is due very soon and i literally only have money to pay for my therapist this week and nothing else so sorry for being super annoying

animentality:

pompomdemiel:

pompomdemiel:

A latinx sibling need ur help 🇻🇪

Hey everyone, it’s been a while.

as many of you know I’m going through some tough times dealing with benzodiazepine withdrawal and depression. It’s not easy, but I’m working on it

i’ve felt very demoralized by asking for help on here but i’ve talked with some friends and some of you said it wasn’t a problem and it was okay to ask for help

If you’re willing and able any support would help cover my living expenses (like rent, food and bills) and my weekly therapy sessions. if someone knows about any jobs online please let me know, i’m willing to work whatever i know fluent english and spanish. i can write stories, translate stuff, i know how to work around photoshop and feel able to take care of costumers too

i’ll leave my links here

p*yp*l

k*fi

0$/650$

reblogs and sharing my story helps a ton too, if there’s anything you want to know please let me know and we have chat, being skeptical about strangers online it’s okay…

thank you if you read this and thank you for the help everyone

big hugs 💛

110$/650$

hey guys i’m sorry i will be rebloging this a lot rent is due very soon and i literally only have money to pay for my therapist this week and nothing else so sorry for being super annoying

pompomdemiel:

pompomdemiel:

A latinx sibling need ur help 🇻🇪

Hey everyone, it’s been a while.

as many of you know I’m going through some tough times dealing with benzodiazepine withdrawal and depression. It’s not easy, but I’m working on it

i’ve felt very demoralized by asking for help on here but i’ve talked with some friends and some of you said it wasn’t a problem and it was okay to ask for help

If you’re willing and able any support would help cover my living expenses (like rent, food and bills) and my weekly therapy sessions. if someone knows about any jobs online please let me know, i’m willing to work whatever i know fluent english and spanish. i can write stories, translate stuff, i know how to work around photoshop and feel able to take care of costumers too

i’ll leave my links here

p*yp*l

k*fi

0$/650$

reblogs and sharing my story helps a ton too, if there’s anything you want to know please let me know and we have chat, being skeptical about strangers online it’s okay…

thank you if you read this and thank you for the help everyone

big hugs 💛

110$/650$

hey guys i’m sorry i will be rebloging this a lot rent is due very soon and i literally only have money to pay for my therapist this week and nothing else so sorry for being super annoying

sygol:

ommg quit it!!! stop, you guys are making me so shy and giggly ^w^ hehehe *abruptly lashes out with my scorpion tail*

detritiviolet:

deadbloodzero:

isabeltheprocrastinator-deactiv:

Found this on Pinterest, but count this screenshot as a reblog

As an Aro/Ace who stays out of the whole online lgbt+ spaces due to hating drama, I had no idea this was a thing.

Come be safe and unattracted and unromantical with me and my goofy little posts, pspspsps

We can hang out and bake cookies and infodump about our fixations.

thats dumb why would people hate aroaces? makes no sense, yall are absolutely welcome here

REBLOG IF NAZIS OFFEND YOU MORE THAN NIPPLES.