prokopetz:

whitepeopletwitter:

The really funny part is that, as I understand it, this stupid thing isn’t even a scam – it really does just prepare your taxes, and has no ability to transmit your tax information to anyone. The reason it got pulled from Steam is because the description misleadingly implied that the developers are a licensed tax preparation service, which is not in fact the case; its terms of service were later updated with a “none of this program’s recommendations constitute legal advice, we are not responsible if it does your taxes wrong, For Entertainment Purposes Only” clause, which is concerning for a whole different set of reasons.

TL;DR: the anime girl will not steal your social security number, but she might advise you to commit tax fraud.

animatedamerican:

silvergryphon:

faustandfurious:

Basic rules for analysing fiction, an incomprehensive list jotted down in a hurry:

1. The protagonist isn’t always right
2. The protagonist isn’t always good
3. The protagonist isn’t always written to be relatable or likeable
4. The narrator isn’t always right
5. The narrator isn’t always good
6. The narrator isn’t always telling the truth
7. The narrator isn’t always the author
8. The protagonist’s moral compass, the narrator’s moral compass and the author’s moral compass are three entirely different things that only occasionally overlap
9. Pay attention to what characters do and not just what they say
10. Pay special attention when what the characters do is at odds with what they say
11. A lot of the time the curtains are blue for a reason. If they aren’t, you should read better books

One more:

12. The antagonist isn’t always telling the truth

So many times I have seen people apparently just … forget that it’s possible for fictional characters to be (a) mistaken or (b) lying, and say things like “we know this to be true because [character] said so here” (or, worse, “this fact is canon because [character] said it”).

The antagonist isn’t always telling the truth, the protagonist isn’t always telling the truth, the secondary and minor characters aren’t always telling the truth, the narrator may be telling the truth but if the narrator is also a character in the story then don’t count on it.

myjetpack:

My cartoon for this week’s Guardian Books.

mxamalgam:

the-gnomish-bastard:

mxamalgam:

the-gnomish-bastard:

mxamalgam:

the-gnomish-bastard:

mxamalgam:

the-gnomish-bastard:

mxamalgam:

the-gnomish-bastard:

mxamalgam:

the-gnomish-bastard:

mxamalgam:

the-gnomish-bastard:

mxamalgam:

the-gnomish-bastard:

frenzyarts:

I’m a magician in the sheets 😏 *pulls a rabbit out of my pussy*

Pulling a rabbit out of a cat instead of a hat.

HEY ASSHOLE I CAUGHT AND ATE THAT RABBIT FAIR AND SQUARE

THEN WHY DOES IT HAVE A BOWTIE!?

I ALSO EAT BOWTIES, WHAT’S IT TO YOU?!

IT FITS THE RABBIT PERFECTLY!

I EAT ALL KINDS OF BOWTIES. HUMAN BOWTIES, RABBIT BOWTIES, DRAGON BOWTIES, ROBOT BOWTIES, I EVEN ATE A GOD BOWTIE ONCE. I’LL EAT WHATRVER BOWTIES I WANT

ILL EAY YOU

😳

YOU AIN’T SAFE JUST CAUSE YOU A MIMIC

I’m a vampire now. I’ve altered my being since we last met for the a e s t h e t i c

Hohohohoho! There’s a reason this is called a wooden stake… cause you about to be the fuckin steak!

*eats the stake*

*straight up bites one of your fingers off*

Owie. Bad tiny Santa.

I SAID I’D DO IT

Now I’m gonna have to find more fingers. Happy?

pdfbabe:

pdfbabe:

pdfbabe:

metal is so fucking good I’m eating it

THE GENRE. THE MUSIC. IM EATING THE MUSIC (METAPHORICALLY). I AM NOT A GOAT

STOP SAYING I LIKE TO EAT SHEET METAL

gwynndolin:

one of my fave posts honestly

gay-pidgeons:

gay-pidgeons:

“we need more evil female characters” you guys cant even handle a traumatized teenage girl making a mistake

ALT

prev so true. maybe you guys just cant handle women

dnickels:

Tumblr staff doing some kind of high-art Theatre of Cruelty in their web design. “You will not be able to tell where the posts are coming form, they will come relentlessly. We will turn off your accessibility settings. There will be….a clown.” Regret to say they are the avant garde

justchukwa:

vodka-aunt-m:

acomedytothosewhothink:

cerayanay:

vanquishedvaliant:

guerrillatech:

This is definitely a plausible Hank moment, but only after a long episode of him misunderstanding and getting it ignorantly (but not maliciously) wrong at first, being distressed and confused about how he’s out of touch with the kids and gender ain’t simple like it used to be

right up until some rude asshole does this in his face and he needs to stand up for his friends / family and suddenly Understands the emotional crux of the issue

“And you have all these so called whistleblowers claiming the government is putting chemicals in vaccines and food to make you one of them transgenders or homosexuals. But I’ve never seen a transgender support the government or one of those so-called “gay frogs”, so it makes you wonder what THEYRE really putting in this stuff. All I’m saying is that Chelsea Manning went to prison and Mr. Rogan is a millionaire, and you always gotta follow the money”

“Tell you what man, talkin’ ‘bout dang ‘ol critical gender theory man, ‘s all a construct, talkin’ ‘bout man’s man and real woman but I tell you what man, talkin’ ‘bout when the lights are off we all just dang ‘ol people man”

“Well I think she’s a real classy lady.”

Not to be that guy but this is already canon. At the beginning of an episode Hank refers to a trans bank teller as “in between genders” but after a whole ordeal of him accidentally receiving a driver’s licence that says he’s female and everyone treating him like a woman for pretty much a whole episode, he approaches the bank teller once again and refers to her as “ma'am”

Hank Hill is canonically a trans ally after being misgensered himself

mightytinydragon:

buttercuparry:

euphorichords:

bdubs8807:

mildswearingat4am:

writing-prompt-s:

The world’s tiniest dragon must defend his hoard, a single gold coin, from those who would steal it.

Suggestion: The dragon’s definition of “steal” is somewhat loose. It still allows the coin to be used and bartered and change hands–but on one condition: the dragon must be with it at all times.

They become a familiar sight in the marketplace.

“Here’s your change, ma'am. One gold piece.” The merchant holds out a palm, on top of which rests a tiny, brilliantly colored creature clutching a single gold coin.

“That’s a dragon,” you say dumbly. “One piece… and a dragon.”

“Yes.”

You cautiously reach out and attempt to take your change. You tug. It holds. You tug harder. The dragon lets loose a tiny, protective growl.

“Ma'am–no, ma'am, you have to take the dragon, too.”

“Sorry?”

The seller notes your dubious expression. “Not from around here, are ya?” They shrug. “Them’s the rules. Take the coin, take the dragon.”

They wait expectantly. Wondering how the world has so suddenly gone mad, you slowly, slowly hold out your hand.

The dragon perks right up. It scampers from their palm to yours with the coin clamped in its jaws and scales your sleeve with sharp little claws.

“Have a nice day, ma'am,” the merchant says. “Spend him soon, now, you hear? At another booth, if you can. He likes to travel.”

From its perch upon your shoulder, the dragon lets out a happy trill.

Bonus: the coin eventually passes to the rogue in a group of travelling adventurers. The dragon becomes the mascot of the entire group, and they lay out a small pile of coins for him to sleep on every night, clutching his coin like a teddy bear.

This is so pure I am in love

Where is the fanart? I need a fanart.

I am super excited to announce that mighty tiny dragon is getting his own comic! Follow Tiny on Instagram or here on Tumblr @mightytinydragon!

mightytinydragon:

Do you want Tiny to be your Valentine?

mightytinydragon:

Tiny and Winter love Trick or Treating!

Follow @mightytinydragon to join Tiny on his adventures

elidyce:

writing-prompt-s:

You, the queen of a fairy tale kingdom, got cursed to give birth to a princess who’s going to live her life isolated in a tower the first 20 years of her life. Narrate how you avoid your daughter’s fate.

She laughed, when she placed the curse on me. Laughed and laughed. She called me a fool for coming to her, for wanting children who would sap my strength and steal my power. 

One child to take my kingdom, she promised me. Well, I’d wanted an heir. It didn’t have to be a curse. 

One child the sea would steal. There was room in that. They didn’t have to die, only to love the sea. I would buy the finest ships. 

And the third would suffer my grandmother’s fate. 

The tower. 

Grandmother told me stories about that tower, shuddering. About the isolation almost driving her mad. About the desperate longing for escape. I know what that escape cost her, and my grandfather as well, with his scarred face and limping gait. 

That was going to be difficult. 

The sorceress’s curse worked. Within the year, I held my first babe in my arms, a sturdy boy who kicked and cried and cuddled against his mother as if he hadn’t been made only to bring me grief. Well, all mothers grieve. 

Keep reading

plumbo-gummite:

plumbo-gummite:

plumbo-gummite:

it always always makes me laugh to swap definite and indefinite articles

Ugh it’s so hot today, I’m sweating like the pig

W-woah there! You scared a bejesus out of me!

fullmetalfisting:

an-adult:

the-feminists-are:

four-female:

ghostbusters?

taking over! i’m

virgin!

Posts like this make me realize that I never read anyone’s fucking url

headspace-hotel:

:

eclectic-sunflower:

:

A fun meme for y'all

i’m sorry what

Pog as slang comes from the twitch emote, taken from a video with pogs in them. What is a pog? A small cap from a juice drink that is traded and used in games by 90s kids. The juice drink was called POG, short for passion fruit orange guava. Passion fruit was named after its flower, the passion flower. Passion flowers were called “flower of the five wounds” in Portuguese, eventually being translated as passion fruit by the English in reference to the passion of Jesus, aka his last moments alive before being crucified.

I love history, language, words, communication, and humans.

headspace-hotel:

:

eclectic-sunflower:

:

A fun meme for y'all

i’m sorry what

Pog as slang comes from the twitch emote, taken from a video with pogs in them. What is a pog? A small cap from a juice drink that is traded and used in games by 90s kids. The juice drink was called POG, short for passion fruit orange guava. Passion fruit was named after its flower, the passion flower. Passion flowers were called “flower of the five wounds” in Portuguese, eventually being translated as passion fruit by the English in reference to the passion of Jesus, aka his last moments alive before being crucified.

I love history, language, words, communication, and humans.

ellevandersneed:

ellevandersneed:

need to make “im thing.. and im thang… and we’re the concept brothers” real because its been bouncing around in my head for a couple days now

i-say-ok:

inchwormy:

inchwormy:

Every bug wants to die a warriors death in my cup of coffee

Every TINY GNAT wants to die a warriors death IN MY EYE

ok.

karhs:

skoomabong:

violetsandshrikes:

entomologists are the most fucking wild people ive ever met

i pointed out a cool wasp to one and she just picked it up with her bare hands and started showing me different features she was using to identify the species

on a walk with another one he just paused, turned, violently shoved his hand into some rotting wood and offered me a tunnel web spider like oh okay i guess-

when i was in college i did larp shit and one of the guys in the group was an entomology student and i once watched him drop directly to a plank position in the middle of a swordfight to look at a moth on the ground

probablybadrpgideas:

Magic is easy, controlling magic is hard. Blow Up The Sun: cantrip. Mend This Tear In My Pants: 9th level.

transfaguette:

honestly never liked the euphemism “shark week” for periods. and like right off the bat yes im reading way deeper into this than is necessary yes its in reference to the bleeding but. It’s always had this sexist undertone to it, like people with periods are sooo hormonal and unreasonable on their periods they’re “dangerous” like a shark. but like, dangerous in the same way a yappy little dog is. Yeah, its snarling, but you don’t have to take it seriously. It just gives me the same vibes as when cishet dudes say shit like “guys if your girlfriend tries to argue with you on her period just tell her shes right” like their girlfriends are some puzzle to be solved. Just feels demeaning.

i’m not passing judgment on you if you choose to use it, you probably don’t have the same feelings about it that I do. but I see it everywhere and it makes me cringe a bit every time.

catgirlisms-moved-deactivated20:

rb this and tell me why tumblr would deem you bad lgbt rep

clownsnake:

greyhound-with-a-mega-wizard-hat:

ice-block:

ice-block:

Man made crystals are so cool it’s so sad everyone who likes rocks is out for blood if you post man made crystals. I love you opalite I love you lab created opal I love you bismuth I love you HTA citrine I love you goldstone

Post “fake” crystals hour

I want dice in the colours of the bottom 2

bixbythemartian:

get off of twitter if you’re still there, it’s a nazi bar now

quasi-normalcy:

bourbonesneat:

hating the Borg is just making teamwork the enemy. I will not elaborate

“Oh, you don’t want to be assimilated, do you? I guess some people are just opposed to cooperation, solidarity, and mutual aid. No, no, it’s fine. By the way, what’s your favourite book by Ayn Rand (whom you LOVE

evilscientist3:

anyotherstar:

evilscientist3:

Trying to get a glass of water but i cant. The water goes up

What do you mean the water goes up

It goes up.

touhouweed:

touhouweed:

I just want queer safety and queer happiness

and a queer $500k

whereserpentswalk:

Choose a way for your body to be transformed! (You can’t choose to stay human)

Turned into a vampire (eternally young, hot)

Turned into a vampyr (monstrous Nosferatu creature)

Turned into a cyborg (advanced human technology)

Turned into a cyborg (alien nanobot virus)

Bitten by werewolf

Brought back from the dead wrong

Mutated by eldritch horrors

Mutated by scientifically inaccurate radiation

Turned into lich through years of research

Blood transfusion from a demon

Fuse with alien artifact

Played with by the fey

See Results

nyancrimew:

“#he would say this”, no he wouldn’t, his writers are on strike

just-illegal:

lily-stabby:

So imagine a DnD character who’s whole motivation is ‘X guy killed my parents and I need to find them’ and the party just thinks ‘ok, revenge quest, that’s normal’

But when they finally find the guy the person with dead parents is just like “Hey buddy, long time no see. It’s a shame we got separated, here’s some money” and they’re super chill.

The party is just confused and goes “Wait, why are you giving him gold?”

The guy just goes “Cause I owe him money?”

The party “But he killed your parents???”

“That’s why I owe him money!”

steh-lar-uh-nuhs:

bnprime:

soberscientistlife:

He is exactly right, children should not be humiliated by school lunch debt.

oh god let him wear jorts again

he’s 600% more intense in a suit.

Man, I remember having my lunch taken away and made to follow the lunch lady to get a cold, hard breaded, one whole cheese slice (not melted, it was just so fucking cold the cheese like bonded to the bread.) between dry bread!

And lucky to get a juice. Couldn’t get milk because that was like 1$ and the juice as like 93-97 cents.

And I got free lunches right. Well, they often would refuse to acknowledge that! And would hound me and constantly give slips with the amount due written on it.

Sometimes they just wouldn’t give me anything just take my food and say there’s a water fountain outside the cafeteria.

paper-mario-wiki:

testosteronetwunk:

The two brothers, Vyvanse the Calm, and Viagra the Turgid.

acekoral:

localvoidcat:

localvoidcat:

localvoidcat:

bad news guys i’ve developed the habit of just giving a thumbs-up whenever i see anything i like. this includes things i like online

i can’t stop

i also want to mention that on occasion i’ll stand up and do the sparkle on jerma pose blankly at a wall for a couple seconds and then go back to normal. i don’t know whats up with that either

Ever see a post so good that you start emoting

sealsdaily:

Today’s Seal Is: Lil’ Compression

killorbekillian:

killorbekillian:

killorbekillian:

do you know how rare it is for me to have a post on my main blog that breaks 1k notes? this is is really the one the people have chosen?

THIS WAS NOT MY WHOLE MEAL. I WAS JUST GONNA ADD IT TO INSTANT RAMEN. DON’T KICK ME WHILE I’M DOWN.

fandomsandfeminism:

sharpasanaro:

sandersstudies:

sandersstudies:

I sat with a crying second grader today. (The age range is outside my wheelhouse but I was the most convenient adult.) He was crying, the other adults said, because his brother took a phone he was playing on. “Phone addicted,” everybody said. “If he would get up and play games with the other kids he wouldn’t be crying.”

He told me everyone lets his brother take things from him because his brother is younger, and doesn’t know better. He told me he doesn’t want to play because he’s tired, he has too many extracurriculars this summer and can’t get good sleep because “everyone in my camper is so loud when I’m trying to sleep.” He’s exhausted and only eight. His mom’s an acquaintance and told me she and the kid’s father are going through a separation — mom and four kids left the house to stay in a camper.

But people will seriously not listen to kids crying over seemingly minor things because on the surface it looks like a tantrum. If kids are given the space to articulate themselves they often will.

I’ve found that if a child is capable of having a conversation (that is, old enough to speak and express themselves, not injured or upset so badly that they literally cannot stop crying, and not behaving violently), then 90% of the time their reason for being upset is legitimate, or at least understandable.

Please remember that this also applies to teenagers and preteens, they might be acting like a knowitall who doesn’t give a shit, or a first class jerk, but chances are fair they feel like shit for one reason or another and adults just chalk it up to teenage angst instead

Almost every time you see someone, child, teen, or adult, who is having some emotional meltdown over something minor, it’s a “straw that broke the camels back” situation.

Kids and teens may have bigger reactions or it may take less to overwhelm them, but it’s important to remember that they are still people and it’s hard being a people.

soberscientistlife:

memeclassheroes:

mahwdichette:

rend-herring:

“..unspoken love is more tangible.” What? No is no ya fucken reprobate, have ye ever actually BEEN in love? If we’re in a relationship, and u dinny have the courage to tell me that shite, am packing the bags, how’s that for tangible. Is nae 7th grade, we submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known OUT LOUD lit fucken adults. Did no have this lonely childhood and existential crisis and spend all this money oan therapy no tae hear you tell me am worth this love out loud and am supposed tae ken because u hoovered the rugs last Saturday

eating-the-inedible:

tsamired:

eating-the-inedible:

eating-the-inedible:

ROUND ONE: Silicone wristbands vs. Human meat

Choose an inedible:

Silicone wristbands

Human meat

See Results

Propaganda:

Silicone wristbands:

• chewy. they are the best for oral stims and also have funky colors :3
• they r so fun to chew. i had like a rainbow ish one i got from a pride event i love it sm

Human meat:

• Go feral. Become a freak. Devolve. Return to your beastly nature. Kill. Maim.
• I desperately want to consume it despite near certainly receiving some consequence for doing so

love this for us

Silicone wins because human meat is very edible

my dear child

everything is edible

skiddlecat:

loz:

loz:

every time we touch………………,

i get this feeling…………..

[id: two replies. the first from @/servbot42, reading: “and every time you piss it sounds like it’s fried”. the second from @/trigonognathus, reading: “i was gonna reply something but i cant possibly beat the piss reply”. end id]

tournament-winners-tournament:

tournament-winners-tournament:

tournament-winners-tournament:

tournament-winners-tournament:

Round 1

[name]

VS

[name]

[image]

Vote

name1

name2

See Results

you weren’t supposed to see that

YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT

intactics-deactivated20250505:

the rammies. the repurcussy

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

computationalcalculator:

llsilvertail:

yiffmaster:

iceslushii:

pastassassins:

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.

this has almost 11 million notes what is this

I’ve never seen this post once in 10 years on this site

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

I’ve never even heard of this before tho??? Wtf??????????

oh my god, I didn’t think there were any surviving versions of this post left

For those who weren’t around in the Deep Lore times, this is one of the relics of the editable post era. This post has THE SINGLE HIGHEST NOTES of ANY post on this site, bar none, but with more than a dozen variations. Every single post you’ve ever seen with more than 3 million notes has been a different version of this one.

This is the “Dean’s Gym Shorts” post. This is the Flubber post. This is the original “Reblog if you support gay people” post. it was ALL of them. before half the site got nuked, it had even more notes than it has now - at one point, well over 15 million, and that was years ago.

This, with no exaggeration, is the ONE TRUE heritage post

free-post-store:

221b-bitch-st:

egberts:

ilistentogirlinred:

egberts:

egberts:

egberts:

warhammer-of-cillyhoo:

egberts:

egberts:

my mom finally bought a toaster

why did this get notes

we’re happy for you

its just a toaster

it’s been three years since i made this post. stop congratulating me on the toaster! stop asking me how the new toaster is doing!! i don’t know!! i haven’t lived with my mom in almost a year! i haven’t seen that toaster in months!! she might even have a new new toaster now!!! who knows!? not me!

@egberts how’s the toaster?

well the 10 year update to this saga is that I don’t talk to my mom and I have my own toaster 👍 don’t let your dreams be dreams

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

$0

the-haiku-bot:

cryptidwithaninternetconnection:

sapphireclawe:

segasister:

nonbinary-dean-winchester:

shirecorn:

aphorisnt:

shirecorn:

syberfire117:

shirecorn:

hamptercatapult:

dracophile:

xelayxes:

xelayxes:

dankmemeuniversity:

@matzahball

For a second I didn’t realize it meant “high” as in a stoner–I thought “High Geologist” was like a rank of geologist or something and he was insulted you would challenge him to naming stones

great poast every one👍

I have drawn him….
The High Geologist

Can’t believe he’s ace

He is now
And here’s the photo evidence:

hey guys…https://twitter.com/MatthewLillard/status/1322648148364324864 so does this make it canon?

the high geologist has ascended

every time i see this post it gets…. better? but also weirder.

I always gotta reblog the High Geologist once in a while.

I love this too much.

Reblog to get to look at a cool rock from the High Geologist

Reblog to get to

look at a cool rock from the

High Geologist

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.