September 2023

werechicken:

hestia-and-the-court:

writing-prompt-s:

There is a forbidden type of magic out there. It isn’t forbidden because it’s inherently evil, or forces you to lose your humanity, or requires human sacrifices - it’s just forbidden because it’s annoying as heck to fight against.

“Ma’am, I really must insist that you pay for the room and board I’ve been giving you! It’s been a week!”

“Fine, fine,” I grumble. “I have a few options for payment: I could give you paper money, cheap gaudy jewelry, chocolate coins, spiders, some pretty seashells-”

“Spiders????” he repeats, baffled.

“Spiders it is, then,” I agree equitably, and with a wave of my hand the bed I’ve been sleeping in for the last week turns into a writhing mass of various spiders.

Worth it.

“Stop right there! You’re under arrest for fraud, destruction of property, and-!”

I yawn. “Didn’t ask, don’t care.” A few gestures, and the guards’ swords are all transmuted into spiders, and then they’re too busy to worry about little ol’ me.


“You have insulted my honor and humiliated me in front of my children! I demand satisfaction! I demand a wizard’s duel!”

Shrugging, I say, “Sure, okay, whatever. Right here and now okay?”

The pompous wizard-noble blinks. “I- you don’t want to prepare? Get your wizard’s staff or anything?”

“Nah, I’m pretty good with somatic gestures.”

“Well, if you’re sure… here and now then! Have at you!” He slams his staff down on the ground dramatically, a small shockwave of fire radiating out from the impact.

So of course, I turn his staff into spiders.

“AHHHH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK”

“So if you’re too busy screaming to cast spells, does that mean I win?”

“AUGH ONE OF THEM BIT ME”

“I’m taking that as a yes.”

After that, they start coming at me in waves, with cheap wands and staves and swords and bows bought in bulk, hoping to exhaust my magical reserves so they can get close enough to put a magic inhibitor on me.

They did not expect my reserves to be as vast as they were, not did they expect me to be able to transmute the inhibitors themselves into spiders.

“Didn’t you take Magic Basics in wizard college?” I yell at the panicking mages. “Inhibitors aren’t immune to magic until the moment they activate! Serious weak point in the design, tell your magitechnicians to fix that!”

So of course they try assassins next.

Poison fails, because I transmute any food and drink I get into spiders and then transmute them back. Pretty easy way to get rid of poison.

So then they try knives in dark alleys. The knives bruise through my full-body spider-silk outfit, but do not penetrate, and they only get one shot before they have bigger problems.

Next is killing me in my sleep. None live to report back that the human-shaped lump under the blankets is actually a mass of highly venomous spiders.

The kingdom throws everything it has at me, and I continue to walk away, heralded by the chittering of spiders and the screams of everyone else.


Finally, I stand before the king himself in his overly opulent throne room, and by now he is a broken shell of a man in the face of my unorthodox tactics.

Good.

“What do you want?” he practically sobs. “You’ve singlehandedly redirected the entire crown’s budget for the next three years into replacing every weapon you’ve turned into spiders. Much more and we’ll be invaded by our neighbors! We wouldn’t be able to resist being annexed! So what can I give you to make you stop doing this?!”

I pause and pretend to consider, tapping a finger against my chin thoughtfully. “You know, you sent my brother off to war a few years back. That conflict with the Yughs up north, I believe. He didn’t want to go, so your guards forced him at spearpoint. I haven’t seen him since.”

He seizes on that, as I expected. “Yes, yes, I’ll have him returned right away! Tell me his name and I’ll honorably release him from duty and have him escorted safely home!”

“Oh?” I raise one sardonic eyebrow. “Are you able to bring back the dead now, oh wise and glorious king?”

He pales, and it’s the most satisfying thing I’ve seen in years.

“You have nothing I want,” I growl, letting the anger slip through for the first time in years. “You cannot bring him back, you cannot make up for my loss with all the riches in your kingdom. The only thing I want is to take everything from you, the way you did to me. Your kingdom will bleed out of resources, one of the neighboring countries you’ve been trying to conquer for decades now will take advantage and annex this place, and you will either be executed or forced to work for a living for the first time in your life.”

I glare at him, and he refuses to meet my eyes. “You will lose everything you ever cared about in your life. One spider at a time.”

I transmute his throne and crown into spiders (non-deadly; he doesn’t get to escape my wrath that easily), then turn and walk away, ignoring his screams and sobs.

And that’s why, when the Yughs finally annexed the kingdom I grew up in, they preemptively made Transarachnomancy a forbidden magical art. Not sure how they intend to enforce that, mind, but I’m not looking to challenge that. I’ve gotten what I wanted; if some other aspiring mage wants to try and follow in my footsteps, that’s not my problem.

Besides, in terms of magical skill, I’ve always been an outlier anyway. Most mages would be lucky to turn just one knife into a spider at a time; I can turn ten thousand with a few gestures. I doubt anyone will outdo my legacy.

But hey, if you want to try and surpass Georgia of the Spiders? Feel free. I’ll welcome the competition.

IM

lukadjo:

Hey there,

Do you use Telegram?

Well here’s a sticker pack:

The artist gave a general “fine as long as it’s not commercial permission”

Source:

@mothcharm

elogaming:

dreamsy990:

elogaming:

tiktoksthataregood-ish:

I don’t understand these videos. Do you think shaving cream is a godlike conductor?? If you do this all that’s gonna happen is nothing

no itll explode i think shaving cream is very flammable

okay ill trust you on that

prokopetz:

whitepeopletwitter:

The really funny part is that, as I understand it, this stupid thing isn’t even a scam – it really does just prepare your taxes, and has no ability to transmit your tax information to anyone. The reason it got pulled from Steam is because the description misleadingly implied that the developers are a licensed tax preparation service, which is not in fact the case; its terms of service were later updated with a “none of this program’s recommendations constitute legal advice, we are not responsible if it does your taxes wrong, For Entertainment Purposes Only” clause, which is concerning for a whole different set of reasons.

TL;DR: the anime girl will not steal your social security number, but she might advise you to commit tax fraud.

gay-pidgeons:

gay-pidgeons:

“we need more evil female characters” you guys cant even handle a traumatized teenage girl making a mistake

a tag reading "you cant even handle mabel pines. and she wasnt even traumatized or teenage yet"ALT

prev so true. maybe you guys just cant handle women

dnickels:

Tumblr staff doing some kind of high-art Theatre of Cruelty in their web design. “You will not be able to tell where the posts are coming form, they will come relentlessly. We will turn off your accessibility settings. There will be….a clown.” Regret to say they are the avant garde

gayforcarstairsgirls:

meatswitch-deactivated20231107:

Wizards (1977)

mightytinydragon:

Tiny and Winter love Trick or Treating!

Follow @mightytinydragon to join Tiny on his adventures

headspace-hotel:

:

eclectic-sunflower:

:

A fun meme for y'all

i’m sorry what

Pog as slang comes from the twitch emote, taken from a video with pogs in them. What is a pog? A small cap from a juice drink that is traded and used in games by 90s kids. The juice drink was called POG, short for passion fruit orange guava. Passion fruit was named after its flower, the passion flower. Passion flowers were called “flower of the five wounds” in Portuguese, eventually being translated as passion fruit by the English in reference to the passion of Jesus, aka his last moments alive before being crucified.

I love history, language, words, communication, and humans.

cryptotheism:

koobyn-deactivated20240716:

cryptotheism:

cryptotheism:

The 2024 republican primary is gonna be buck wild.

De Santis: “Hello median American voter, the only thing I have for you is transphobia.”

Trump: “Ron De-sanctamonius you’re little pudding fingers boy.”

Biden: “Back in Scranton we used to make a thing called Dirt Nachos.”

Why is Biden in the Republican primary

Got lost

skiddlecat:

loz:

loz:

every time we touch………………,

i get this feeling…………..

[id: two replies. the first from @/servbot42, reading: “and every time you piss it sounds like it’s fried”. the second from @/trigonognathus, reading: “i was gonna reply something but i cant possibly beat the piss reply”. end id]

antique-scarecrow:

aqueerkettleofish:

beowulf22121:

headspace-hotel:

headspace-hotel:

You know what? Destroy the “people in rural areas are all ignorant conservatives” stereotype and start mocking the “trad”/anti-feminist/neonazi people that are obsessed with rural areas despite having never been to one

I’m absolutely laughing my ass off at all these “Traditional Femininity” blogs that post nothing but aesthetic photos of supposed “Rural Life”

Lady this is a skinny influencer in a frilly white dress that’s never had dirt on it, with her hair in professionally-done beachy waves, doing a photoshoot in a field using a basket of strawberries bought at walmart as a prop.

If you saw an actual woman farmer you would think you were seeing the Masculinization Of Women By The Degenerate Left

Can confirm, went to school with farm folk. The wrestling team was afraid of the 4H and Future Farmers of America girls.

I live in a no-stoplight-no-starbucks-no-fast-food town in the backwoods of Virginia, and I have seen a toothless redneck at the gas station go off on someone for being a dick about a trans woman, telling him that if he didn’t want to show some basic manners, he should move up north.

good time to remember that the Southern U.S. population is significantly more progressive and ethnically diverse than you’ve been taught to believe.

southern states are gerrymandered to hell–specifically to prevent the majority from overthrowing the conservative political chokehold. this is by design and a direct inheritance of the civil war (to keep former slaves and their descendants as politically disenfranchised as possible). Southern politics do not reflect southern reality. And neither do media portrayals. there is a reason the media wants you to think of the south as white, conservative, poor, and uneducated: to keep southern progressives isolated. to alienate northern liberals from disenfranchised southerners (especially southerners of color).

it’s just another divide-and-conquer strategy. because that’s what conservatives are good at–controlling the narrative in order to rewrite history and sow discord between groups that should be helping each other. Because unity is powerful, and it makes us dangerous.

tl;dr the south has always been more liberal than you think, it’s the decades of voter suppression & systematic disenfranchisement controlling the narrative. (and yes this extends to gender and queer issues too)

tournament-winners-tournament:

tournament-winners-tournament:

tournament-winners-tournament:

tournament-winners-tournament:

Round 1


[name]

VS

[name]


[image]

Vote

name1

name2

See Results

you weren’t supposed to see that

YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

computationalcalculator:

llsilvertail:

yiffmaster:

iceslushii:

pastassassins:

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.

this has almost 11 million notes what is this

I’ve never seen this post once in 10 years on this site

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

I’ve never even heard of this before tho??? Wtf??????????

oh my god, I didn’t think there were any surviving versions of this post left

For those who weren’t around in the Deep Lore times, this is one of the relics of the editable post era. This post has THE SINGLE HIGHEST NOTES of ANY post on this site, bar none, but with more than a dozen variations. Every single post you’ve ever seen with more than 3 million notes has been a different version of this one.

This is the “Dean’s Gym Shorts” post. This is the Flubber post. This is the original “Reblog if you support gay people” post. it was ALL of them. before half the site got nuked, it had even more notes than it has now - at one point, well over 15 million, and that was years ago.

This, with no exaggeration, is the ONE TRUE heritage post

I love

turrondeluxe:

2003!Mikey and 2012!Mikey being silly older and little brother chronicles 🐢🤝🐢 Pt1 - Masterpost

trasno-personal:

bunniope:

me: man my job sucks i want to play video games or somethin

the nefarious anglerfish:

[ID/ A photo of a white cat poking its head out of a hole in a furry hanging basket, presumably its own tail is laying limp on the middle of its forehead. The hole they’re in is so tiny it borders the face and tail snuggly /End ID]

the yume nikki ask made me realize ur prof pic is not in fact the green m&m after like… having followed u for a While

midiport:

evilscientist3:

midiport:

sorry i cant be her

imagine

this is giving me body dysmorphia

mozilla-firefucks:

bellybuttonblue2:

“Ecology without class struggle is just gardening” —Chico Mendes

queerpeers:

queerpeers:

roseycanvas:

queerpeers:

xuxii-bunny:

queerpeers:

queerpeers:

yeah im “transitioning” *dissolves into tiny pieces as i click to the next slide*

Is there a transfem version?!?

ask and ye shall receive

Nonbinary version?

enjoy 💛🤍💜🖤

like status: sick 😎

peanutbutter-and-jellie:

wizard-of-external-combustion:

charlottan:

21st century doom scroller: ugghh we need to do something about all the problems:/

13th century doom scroller: At last, my divine scroll will bring terror across all the lands and rend those who step in my way. Arise, my victory, over this realm

Inspirational

Inspirational

2010s-nostalgia:

sluttyquarantinetheory:

ten-and-donna:

chauvinistsushi:

mcclellansmelf:

So Pokemon Go came out and I legit walked around for three hours in the dark, met like five of my neighbors also looking for Pokemon, and saw a grown ass man trudge into a pond. What a time to be alive.

nintendo’s plan to make everyone get out the house is working spectacularly if a bit odd.

“Working spectacularly, if a bit odd” is Nintendo’s entire goddamn business model.

Why? Why would you do this to me? What do you mean 2010s nostalgia? Excuse me? Hello? @2010s-nostalgia

did u know that there's no character limit for an ask if it's not anonymous? it just can't be over 4k characters in a block.

:D

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Ooh, black and yellow!Let's shake it up a little.Barry! Breakfast is ready!Coming!Hang on a second.Hello?Barry?Adam?Can you believe this is happening?I can't.I'll pick you up.Looking sharp.Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those.Sorry. I'm excited.Here's the graduate.We're very proud of you, son.A perfect report card, all B's.Very proud.Ma! I got a thing going here.You got lint on your fuzz.

Ow! That's me!Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.Bye!Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!Hey, Adam.Hey, Barry.Is that fuzz gel?A little. Special day, graduation.Never thought I'd make it.Three days grade school, three days high school.Those were awkward.Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive.You did come back different.Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.Hear about Frankie?Yeah.You going to the funeral?No, I'm not going.Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.Don't waste it on a squirrel.

Such a hothead.I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.That's why we don't need vacations.Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances.Well, Adam, today we are men.We are!Bee-men.Amen!Hallelujah!Students, faculty, distinguished bees,please welcome Dean Buzzwell.Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15.That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries!Will we pick our job today?I heard it's just orientation.Heads up! Here we go.

Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.Wonder what it'll be like?A little scary.Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group.This is it!Wow.Wow.We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive.Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey!

That girl was hot.She's my cousin!She is?Yes, we're all cousins.Right. You're right.At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence.These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.What do you think he makes?Not enough.Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.What does that do?Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it.Saves us millions.Can anyone work on the Krelman?Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones.But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.

The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.What's the difference?You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years.So you'll just work us to death?We'll sure try.Wow! That blew my mind!"What's the difference?"How can you say that?One job forever?That's an insane choice to have to make.I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?Why would you question anything? We're bees.We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?Like what? Give me one example.I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.Wait a second.

Check it out.Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!Wow.I've never seen them this close.They know what it's like outside The Hive.Yeah, but some don't come back.Hey, Jocks!Hi, Jocks!You guys did great!You're monsters!You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!I wonder where they were.I don't know.Their day's not planned.Outside The Hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.Right.Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.It's just a status symbol.Bees make too much of it.Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.Those ladies?Aren't they our cousins too?Distant. Distant.Look at these two.

Couple of Hive Harrys.Let's have fun with them.It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!Oh, my!I never thought I'd knock him out.What were you doing during this?Trying to alert the authorities.I can autograph that.A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?Yeah. Gusty.We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.Six miles, huh?Barry!A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.Maybe I am.You are not!We're going 0900 at J-Gate.What do you think, buzzy-boy?Are you bee enough?I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!Dad, you surprised me.You decide what you're interested in?Well, there's a lot of choices.But you only get one.Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?Son, let me tell you about stirring.You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.You get yourself into a rhythm.It's a beautiful thing.You know, Dad, the more I think about it,maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!

Barry, you are so funny sometimes.I'm not trying to be funny.You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!You're gonna be a stirrer?No one's listening to me!Wait till you see the sticks I have.I could say anything right now.I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!Let's open some honey and celebrate!Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!I'm so proud.We're starting work today!Today's the day.Come on! All the good jobs will be gone.Yeah, right.Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal...Is it still available?Hang on. Two left!

One of them's yours! Congratulations!Step to the side.What'd you get?Picking crud out. Stellar!Wow!Couple of newbies?Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!Make your choice.You want to go first?No, you go.Oh, my. What's available?Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.Any chance of getting the Krelman?Sure, you're on.I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.Wax monkey's always open.The Krelman opened up again.What happened?A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!Oh, this is so hard!Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler.

Barry, what do you think I should... Barry?Barry!All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine...What happened to you?Where are you?I'm going out.Out? Out where?Out there.Oh, no!I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?Another call coming in.If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today.Hey, guys.Look at that.Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.Really? Feeling lucky, are you?Sign here, here.

Just initial that.Thank you.OK.You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats.Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us.Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!That's awful.And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions!

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

Black and yellow!Hello!You ready for this, hot shot?Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.Wind, check.Antennae, check.Nectar pack, check.Wings, check.Stinger, check.Scared out of my shorts, check.OK, ladies,let's move it out!Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!All of you, drain those flowers!Wow! I'm out!I can't believe I'm out!So blue.I feel so fast and free!Box kite!Wow!Flowers!This is Blue Leader, We have roses visual.

Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.Roses!30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.Stand to the side, kid.It's got a bit of a kick.That is one nectar collector!Ever see pollination up close?No, sir.I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one.See that? It's a little bit of magic.That's amazing. Why do we do that?That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.Cool.I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow, Could be daisies, Don't we need those?Copy that visual.Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move.Say again? You're reporting a moving flower?

Affirmative.That was on the line!This is the coolest. What is it?I don't know, but I'm loving this color.It smells good.Not like a flower, but I like it.Yeah, fuzzy.Chemical-y.Careful, guys. It's a little grabby.My sweet lord of bees!Candy-brain, get off there!Problem!Guys!This could be bad.Affirmative.Very close.Gonna hurt.Mama's little boy.You are way out of position, rookie!Coming in at you like a missile!Help me!I don't think these are flowers.Should we tell him?I think he knows.What is this?!Match point!You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it!Yowser!Gross.There's a bee in the car!Do something!I'm driving!

Hi, bee.He's back here!He's going to sting me!Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze!He blinked!Spray him, Granny!What are you doing?!Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable.I gotta get home.Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain.Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!Ken, could you close the window please?Ken, could you close the window please?Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out.Oh, no. More humans.

I don't need this.What was that?Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes!That is diabolical.It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.What's number one? Star Wars?Nah, I don't go for that... kind of stuff.No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds.When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it.I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me.Wait! Stop! Bee!Stand back. These are winter boots.Wait!

Don't kill him!You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me!Why does his life have less value than yours?Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling.My brochure!There you go, little guy.I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure.My whole face could puff up.Make it one of your special skills.Knocking someone out is also a special skill.Right. Bye, Vanessa.

Thanks.Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.You could put carob chips on there.Bye.Supposed to be less calories.Bye.I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something.All right, here it goes.Nah.What would I say?I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human.I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to.Oh, I can't do it. Come on!No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't.How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good.Here she comes! Speak, you fool!Hi!I'm sorry. You're talking.Yes, I know.You're talking!

I'm so sorry.No, it's OK. It's fine.I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed.Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting.This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me.And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised.That was a little weird. I'm talking with a bee.Yeah.I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me!I just want to say I'm grateful.I'll leave now.Wait! How did you learn to do that?What?The talking thing.Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey."

You pick it up.That's very funny.Yeah.Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with.Anyway... Can I... get you something?Like what?I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee?I don't want to put you out.It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.It's just coffee.I hate to impose.Don't be ridiculous!Actually, I would love a cup.Hey, you want rum cake?I shouldn't.Have some.No, I can't.Come on!I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.Where?These stripes don't help.You look great!

I don't know if you know anything about fashion.Are you all right?No.He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison.He finally gets there.He runs up the steps into the church.The wedding is on.And he says, "Watermelon?I thought you said Guatemalan.Why would I marry a watermelon?"Is that a bee joke?That's the kind of stuff we do.Yeah, different.So, what are you gonna do, Barry?About work? I don't know.I want to do my part for The Hive, but I can't do it the way they want.I know how you feel.

You do?Sure.My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.Really?My only interest is flowers.Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan.Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it?You're in Sheep Meadow!Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once.Why do girls put rings on their toes?Why not?It's like putting a hat on your knee.Maybe I'll try that.You all right, ma'am?Oh, yeah. Fine.

Just having two cups of coffee!Anyway, this has been great.Thanks for the coffee.Yeah, it's no trouble.Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life.Are you...?Can I take a piece of this with me?Sure! Here, have a crumb.Thanks!Yeah.All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not.OK, Barry.And thank you so much again... for before.Oh, that? That was nothing.Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...This can't possibly work.

He's all set to go.We may as well try it.OK, Dave, pull the chute.Sounds amazing.It was amazing!It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.Humans! I can't believe you were with humans!Giant, scary humans!What were they like?Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.They eat crazy giant things.They drive crazy.Do they try and kill you, like on TV?Some of them. But some of them don't.How'd you get back?Poodle.You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see.You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal.Well...Well?Well, I met someone.You did? Was she Bee-ish?A wasp?!

Your parents will kill you!No, no, no, not a wasp.Spider?I'm not attracted to spiders.I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face.So who is she?She's... human.No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law.Her name's Vanessa.Oh, boy.She's so nice. And she's a florist!Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!We're not dating.You're flying outside The Hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite!She saved my life! And she understands me.This is over!Eat this.This is not over! What was that?They call it a crumb.It was so stingin' stripey!And that's not what they eat.That's what falls off what they eat!You know what a Cinnabon is?No.

It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up...Sit down!...really hot!Listen to me!We are not them! We're us.There's us and there's them!Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning?There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me!You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee!Thinking bee.Thinking bee.Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!There he is. He's in the pool.You know what your problem is, Barry?I gotta start thinking bee?How much longer will this go on?It's been three days! Why aren't you working?

I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about.What life? You have no life!You have no job. You're barely a bee!Would it kill you to make a little honey?Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you.Martin, would you talk to him?Barry, I'm talking to you!You coming?Got everything?All set!Go ahead. I'll catch up.Don't be too long.Watch this!Vanessa!We're still here.I told you not to yell at him.He doesn't respond to yelling!Then why yell at me?Because you don't listen!I'm not listening to this.

Sorry, I've gotta go.Where are you going?I'm meeting a friend.A girl? Is this why you can't decide?Bye.I just hope she's Bee-ish.They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena?To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering.A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events?No. All right, I've got one.How come you don't fly everywhere?It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster.Yeah, OK, I see, I see.All right, your turn.TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!You don't have that?We have Hivo, but it's a disease.

It's a horrible, horrible disease.Oh, my.Dumb bees!You must want to sting all those jerks.We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us.So you have to watch your temper.Very carefully.You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust.Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?Yeah.What is wrong with you?!It's a bug.He's not bothering anybody.Get out of here, you creep!What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?Yeah, it was. How did you know?It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.You've really got that down to a science.I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.I'll bet.What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this?

How did this get here? cute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select?Is he that actor?I never heard of him.Why is this here?For people. We eat it.You don't have enough food of your own?Well, yes.How do you get it?Bees make it.I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it!There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing!It's organic.It's our-ganic!It's just honey, Barry.Just what?!Bees don't know about this!

This is stealing! A lot of stealing!You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have!And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this.I'm getting to the bottom of all of this!Hey, Hector. You almost done?Almost.He is here. I sense it.Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around.You're busted, box boy!I knew I heard something.So you can talk!I can talk. And now you'll start talking!Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier?I don't understand.I thought we were friends.

The last thing we want to do is upset bees!You're too late! It's ours now!You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword!You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio!Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where!Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!Crazy person!What horrible thing has happened here?These faces, they never knew what hit them. And nowthey're on the road to nowhere!Just keep still.What? You're not dead?Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed?

To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here.I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off!I'm going to Tacoma.And you?He really is dead.All right.Uh-oh!What is that?!Oh, no!A wiper! Triple blade!Triple blade?Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!Why does everything haveto be so doggone clean?!How much do you people need to see?!Open your eyes!Stick your head out the window!From NPR News in Washington,I'm Carl Kasell.But don't kill no more bugs!Bee!Moose blood guy!!You hear something?Like what?Like tiny screaming.

Turn off the radio.Whassup, bee boy?Hey, Blood.Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see.Wow!I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours.Bees hang tight. We're all jammed in.It's a close community.Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own.What if you get in trouble?You a mosquito, you in trouble.

Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack!At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls.Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.You got to be kidding me!Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee!Hey, guys!Mooseblood!I knew I'd catch y'all down here.Did you bring your crazy straw?We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit.What is this place?A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead.They are pinheads!Pinhead.Check out the new smoker.Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000!Smoker?Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.

Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.They make the honey, and we make the money."They make the honey, and we make the money"?Oh, my!What's going on? Are you OK?Yeah. It doesn't last too long.Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls?Our queen was moved here. We had no choice.This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen!What is this?Oh, no!There's hundreds of them!Bee honey.Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale!This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something.Oh, Barry, stop.Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor.Do these look like rumors?

That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this?He's been talking to humans.What? Talking to humans?!He has a human girlfriend. And they make out!Make out? Barry!We do not.You wish you could.Whose side are you on?The bees!I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night.Barry, this is what you want to do with your life?I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees!Dad, I remember you coming home so overworkedyour hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop.

I remember that.What right do they have to our honey?We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!Even if it's true, what can one bee do?Sting them where it really hurts.In the face! The eye!That would hurt.No.Up the nose? That's a killer.There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters.Hive at Five, The Hive's only full-hour action news source.No more bee beards!With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi.

And Jeanette Chung.Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.And I'm Jeanette Ohung.A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally!Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon.Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.Did you ever think,

"I'm a kid from The Hive. I can't do this"?Bees have never been afraid to change the world.What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.We were thinking of stickball or candy stores.How old are you?The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century.You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too.It's a common name.

Next week...He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots...Next week...Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em.Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live.Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish.In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.Honey, her backhand's a joke!I'm not gonna take advantage of that?Quiet, please.

Actual work going on here.Is that that same bee?Yes, it is!I'm helping him sue the human race.Hello.Hello, bee.This is Ken.Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.Why does he talk again?Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working.But it's our yogurt night!Bye-bye.Why is yogurt night so difficult?!You poor thing.

You two have been at this for hours!Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help.Frosting...How many sugars?Just one. I try not to use the competition.So why are you helping me?Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now.Those are great, if you're three.And artificial flowers.Oh, those just get me psychotic!Yeah, me too.Bent stingers, pointless pollination.

Bees must hate those fake things!Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done.Maybe this could make up for it a little bit.This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.I guess.You sure you want to go through with it?Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty!It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak.What have we gotten into here, Barry?It's pretty big, isn't it?

I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day.You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers?Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade.What's the matter?I don't know, I just got a chill.Well, if it isn't the bee team.You boys work on this?All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding.All right. Case number 4475,Superior Court of New York,Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session.Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively?A privilege.Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world?I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed.Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us.If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean.I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches!Talking bee!How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry?They could be using laser beams! Robotics!

Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids!Mr. Benson?Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives.Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys!I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are!I wish he'd dress like that all the time.

So nice!Call your first witness.So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have.I suppose so.I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron!Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms.Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term.I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you?No.I couldn't hear you.No.No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey.

They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.You mean like this?Bears kill bees!How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away.So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. Where have I heard it before?I was with a band called The Police.But you've never been a police officer, have you?No, I haven't.No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name.Oh, please.

Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!That's not his real name?! You idiots!Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005.Thank you. Thank you.I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow.I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?Not yet it isn't.

But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir?Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now!This isn't a goodfella.This is a badfella!Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?!Order in this court!You're all thinking it!Order! Order, I say!Say it!Mr. Liotta, please sit down!I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side.Are we doing everything right, legally?

I'm a florist.Right. Well, here's to a great team.To a great team!Well, hello.Ken!Hello.I didn't think you were coming.No, I was just late I tried to call, but... the battery.I didn't want all this to go to waste,so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.Oh, that was lucky.There's a little left. I could heat it up.Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby.

That's where I usually sit. Right... there.Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill.You think I don't see what you're doing?I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.Do we?Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out.That's just what I was thinking about doing.Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz.

I hope that was all right.I'm going to drain the old stinger.Yeah, you do that.Look at that.You know, I've just about had it with your little Mind Games.What's that?Italian Vogue.Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.A lot of ads.Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine?Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here!I love the smell of flowers.How do you like the smell of flames?!Not as much.Water bug! Not taking sides!Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat!This is pathetic!

I've got issues!Well, well, well, a royal flush!You're bluffing.Am I?Surf's up, dude!Poo water!That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings!Kenneth! What are you doing?!You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it!We need to talk! He's just a little bee!And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time!Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them!Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster!

Goodbye, Ken.And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man!I'm sorry about all that.I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it!I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it.Oh, well.Are you OK for the trial?I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas.We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers...Yeah.Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over.Don't worry.

The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees.You got the tweezers?Are you allergic?Only to losing, son. Only to losing.Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know.What exactly is your relationship to that woman?We're friends.Good friends?Yes.How good? Do you live together?Wait a minute... Are you her little... bedbug?I've seen a bee documentary or two.

From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children?Yeah, but...So those aren't your real parents!Oh, Barry...Yes, they are!Hold me back!You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson?He's denouncing bees!Don't y'all date your cousins?Objection!I'm going to pincushion this guy!Adam, don't! It's what he wants!Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit!Order! Order!The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see?

You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way!Adam, stay with me.I can't feel my legs.What Angel of Mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks?I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please!The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed Turn Against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery.Hey, buddy.Hey.Is there much pain?

Yeah.I... I blew the whole case, didn't I?It doesn't matter. What matters isyou're alive. You could have died.I'd be better off dead. Look at me.They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it.What was it like to sting someone?I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then...and then ecstasy!All right.You think it was all a trap?Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this.What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world.

What will the humans do to us if they win?I don't know.I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad.Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!Oh, my.Could you get a nurse to close that window?Why?The smoke.Bees don't smoke.Right. Bees don't smoke.Bees don't smoke!But some bees are smoking.That's it! That's our case!It is? It's not over?Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can.And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.Mr. Flayman.Yes? Yes, Your Honor!Where is the rest of your team?Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.

Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time.I actually heard a funny story about...Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on?They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses.I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case!Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion.But you can't! We have a terrific case.

Where is your proof?Where is the evidence?Show me the smoking gun!Hold it, Your Honor!You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun.What is that?It's a bee smoker!What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee.Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps?Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man?What are we gonna do?He's playing the species card.

Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees!Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees!

The court finds in favor of the bees!Vanessa, we won!I knew you could do it! High-five!Sorry.I'm OK! You know what this means?All the honey will finally belong to the bees.Now we won't have to work so hard all the time.This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson.You'll regret this.Barry, how much honey is out there?All right. One at a time.Barry, who are you wearing?My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.What if Montgomery's right?What do you mean?We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years.Congratulations on your victory.

What will you demand as a settlement?First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps.Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop.We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine.We're all aware of what they do in the woods.Wait for my signal. Take him out.He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine.And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames...But it's just a prance-about stage name!...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments.

Can't breathe.Bring it in, boys!Hold it right there! Good.Tap it.Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups and there's gallons more coming!I think we need to shut down!Shut down? We've never shut down.Shut down honey production!Stop making honey!Turn your key, sir!What do we do now?Cannonball!We're shutting honey production!Mission abort.Aborting pollination and nectar detail.Returning to base.Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there.

Oh, yeah?What's going on? Where is everybody?Are they out celebrating?They're home.They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in.I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket.At least we got our honey back.Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't?It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it.This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now...Now I can't.I don't understand why they're not happy.I thought their lives would be better!

They're doing nothing. It's amazing.Honey really changes people.You don't have any idea what's going on, do you?What did you want to show me?This.What happened here?That is not the half of it.Oh, no. Oh, my.They're all wilting.Doesn't look very good, does it?No.And whose fault do you think that is?You know, I'm gonna guess bees.Bees?Specifically, me.I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things.It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.That's our whole SAT test right there.Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom.And then, of course...The human species?

So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it?I know this is also partly my fault.How about a suicide pact?How do we do it?I'll sting you, you step on me.That just kills you twice.Right, right.Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going.I had to open my mouth and talk.Vanessa?Vanessa? Why are you leaving?Where are you going?To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena.They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying.It's the Last Chance I'll ever have to see it.Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.I never meant it to turn out like this.I know. Me neither.Tournament of Roses.

Roses can't do sports.Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?Roses!Vanessa!Roses?!Barry?Roses are flowers!Yes, they are.Flowers, bees, pollen!I know.That's why this is the last parade.Maybe not.Could you ask him to slow down?Could you slow down?Barry!OK, I made a huge mistake.This is a total disaster, all my fault.Yes, it kind of is.I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse.Actually, it's completely closed down.I thought maybe you were remodeling.But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined.I don't want to hear it!All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen.

I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park.All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got.Bees.Park.Pollen!Flowers.Repollination!Across the nation!Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California.They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy.Security will be tight.I have an idea.Vanessa Bloome, FTD.Official floral business. It's real.Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.Thank you. It was a gift.Once inside, we just pick the right float.How about The Princess and the Pea?I could be the princess, and you could be the pea!Yes, I got it.Where should I sit?What are you?I believe I'm the pea.The pea?It goes under the mattresses.

Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.I'm getting the marshal.You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco!Let's see what this baby'll do.Hey, what are you doing?!Then all we do is blend in with traffic... without arousing suspicion.Once at the airport, there's no stopping us.Stop! Security.You and your insect pack your float?Yes.Has it been in your possession the entire time?Would you remove your shoes?Remove your stinger.It's part of me.I know. Just having some fun.Enjoy your flight.

Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job.Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job!I think this is gonna work.It's got to work.Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay.Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it.I gotta get up there and talk to them.Be careful.Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.Captain, I'm in a real situation.What'd you say, Hal?Nothing.Bee!Don't freak out!

My entire species...What are you doing?Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!Who's an attorney?Don't move.Oh, Barry.Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry!What happened here?There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded.One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious!Is that another bee joke?No!No one's flying the plane!This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status?This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York.Where's the pilot?He's unconscious, and so is the copilot.

Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience?As a matter of fact, there is.Who's that?Barry Benson.From the honey trial?! Oh, great.Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee.It's got giant wings, huge engines.I can't fly a plane.Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?Yes.How hard could it be?Wait, Barry!We're headed into some lightning.This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing.Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory...That's Barry!...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew.

Flowers?!We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience.Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane.I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres.They've done enough damage.But isn't he your only hope?Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all.Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times?"The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."Get this on the air!Got it.Stand by.We're going live.The way we work may be a mystery to you.

Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs.But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference.More than we realized. To us, to everyone.That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O.We get behind a fellow.Black and yellow!Hello!Left, right, down, hover.Hover?Forget hover.This isn't so hard.Beep-beep! Beep-beep!Barry, what happened?!Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time.That may have been helping me.

And now we're not!So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out!Move out!Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane!Don't have to yell.I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble.It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice!It's not a tone. I'm panicking!I can't do this!Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it!You snap out of it.You snap out of it.You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!

Hold it!Why? Come on, it's my turn.How is the plane flying?I don't know.Hello?Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there?The Pollen Jocks!They do get behind a fellow.Black and yellow.Hello.All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop.Where? I can't see anything. Can you?No, nothing. It's all cloudy.Come on. You got to think bee, Barry.Thinking bee.Thinking bee.Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something.What?I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.Bring the nose down.Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

What in the world is on the tarmac?Get some lights on that!Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!Vanessa, aim for the flower.OK.Cut the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys?Affirmative!Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.Land on that flower!Ready? Full reverse!Spin it around!Not that flower! The other one!Which one?That flower.I'm aiming at the flower!That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees!Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.Rotate around it.This is insane, Barry!

This's the only way I know how to fly.Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern?Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse!Just drop it. Be a part of it.Aim for the center!Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!Come on, already.Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!Yes. No high-five!Right.Barry, it worked!Did you see the giant flower?What giant flower? Where? Of courseI saw the flower! That was genius!Thank you.But we're not done yet.Listen, everyone!This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth.That means this is our Last Chance.

We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this.If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains?We're bees!Keychain!Then follow me! Except Keychain.Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this.Yeah!I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.Oh, yeah.That's our Barry.Mom! The bees are back!If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time.

I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight!Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next?Would you like some honey with that?It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel!Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat!I had no idea.Barry, I'm sorry.Have you got a moment?Would you excuse me?My mosquito associate will help you.Sorry I'm late.He's a lawyer too?I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase.Have a great afternoon!Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere.No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me.

You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next?All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly.Thank you, Barry!That bee is living my life!Let it go, Kenny.When will this nightmare end?!Let it all go.Beautiful day to fly.Sure is.Between you and me,I was dying to get out of that office.You have got to start thinking bee, my friend.Thinking bee!Me?Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it.I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here?I'm not making a major life decision during a production number!All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys.I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

stealingyourbones:

:000

Dude that’s positively incredible. What a wonderful prompt.

You can go in so many directions with this one. Like, what if the plane didn’t land properly? What if the Bees were never subjected to the smoke? What if this idea focused more on the ideals of capitalism rather than the ideals of communism.


The best prompt I’ve gotten in the entirety of my existence on tumblr. Thank you for such a wonderful ask <3

swirlycowboobs-deactivated20231:

woosh-floosh:

passionpeachy-deactivated202312:

Had a dream I was gaming so hard during a run of Deltarune that I somehow unlocked all the unreleased chapters even the ones that haven’t been made yet and I pulverized through every single enemy just by running into them really fast, making them violently explode into scattered pixels with my sheer force. I was having fun until suddenly the screen went white and a very visibly upset Mario appeared (because I was playing on the switch) and he was sitting on a folding chair with his hands clasped together and he asked me “what the fuck is a-wrong with you”. immediately woke up

Artist interpretation

good heavens Real? real

hater-of-terfs:

Community Fridges (”Freedges”)

One of many mutual aid tactics that’s blown up during the pandemic, a freedge is simply a refrigerator set up in a public space to be filled and utilized by the community, typically cared for by a group of volunteers who clean, stock, and check up on the freedge every so often

freedge.org has a map of existing freedges (shown above), guides to start your own, and even gives microgrants to people who want to set up a freedge in their area

If you have excess produce from your garden, space in your front yard, or even an old working fridge you’re trying to get rid of, look for a freedge organization in your community - or start your own!

related: Little Free Pantries • mutual aid groups • Food Not Bombs

corpserabbit-deactivated2023121:

thetetra:

i-was-today-years-old-when:

i learned that we domesticated the silk moth 5000 years ago for sericulture. They lost their ability to fly, lack fear of predators, & have lost native color pigments since camouflage is not useful as they only live in captivity. They’re entirely dependent on humans for survival, including finding a mate (x)

I like the idea of domestication of a bug. that’s neat

cooler-ian:

i-was-today-years-old-when:

i learned that we domesticated the silk moth 5000 years ago for sericulture. They lost their ability to fly, lack fear of predators, & have lost native color pigments since camouflage is not useful as they only live in captivity. They’re entirely dependent on humans for survival, including finding a mate (x)

@chillisreal I think you’d enjoy this information maybe

ineffag-swag:

Tiktokers who beg people to like their videos because the algorithm “only” gives them 1000 likes would not survive a 0 note tumblr post

they said ass in mario

thebuttkingpost:

mariomarc:

xeppeli:

relishboi:

they said it

they said ass in mario

And hell

thornsent:

angelofthemornings:

angelofthemornings:

angelofthemornings:

If you’re ever in a cave and have the opportunity to get on a boat and go down a subterranean river, do that. You’re gonna be different after

Also if your guide is real cool they’ll shut off your lights for a minute so you can experience absolute darkness. This will also make you different after

If shepherding people out of this world is anything like that I may have a fulfilling career path to consider

I don’t know what to do about this guy though

you

noroithecurse2005-deactivated20:

noroithecurse2005-deactivated20:

no cropped boomer meme will ever make me laugh harder than he just sold rice

He just sold rice

trans:

uchidachi:

deathtobri:

duckandorpenguin:

ilyasaurus:

Reblog if you, too, are not dead- only tired and ugly.

same

timemachineyeah:

timemachineyeah:

thinking about how old umbrellas are

sometimes a design is so suited to purpose that it lasts for thousands of years

could travel back in time and buy a perfectly good umbrella. could show them my umbrella and they’d recognize what it was.

no matter when we lived we’ve all been subject to the sky

william-snekspeare:

william-snekspeare:

conversation I have with my ferret 1000x a day

The lady in question

kdinjenzen:

djwaglmuffin:

kdinjenzen:

djwaglmuffin:

kdinjenzen:

As someone who’s spent half her life in the Gaming and Entertainment industries, let me tell you how FUCKED everything is.

For context, I’m a 34 year old trans woman who spent the last SEVENTEEN YEARS of my life in these industries. So half my life has been in this.

I’m currently 9 months out of work after being laid off from a huge well known company due to them “selling off half the company’s outside studios so the core company could invest in NFTs and Blockchain.”

Unemployment has fully run out for me at this point and I’m struggling.

This is not new. I’m not the only one. And what’s more is that it’s been happening to gaming and entertainment studios for years and it continues to get worse.

Day after day, week after week, month after month I’ve seen studios both big and small laying off workers and then announcing “AI! NFTS! BLOCKCHAIN!” shit constantly.

These companies have posted record profits and then have used those profits to… cut their staff and pay their execs more.

All the while they pretend to still be “FOR THE FANS” and as more of the workers unionize and try to band together shun those workers saying “HOW COULD YOU!? THE FANS WANT THEIR CONTENT!” as if the content is worth people’s lives and livelihood.

The biggest thing we, as workers, are fighting for is FAIR PAY and to not have our works or voices used for AI!

And these studios keep saying NO, and then making it impossible for us to work or live.

The studio heads have purposely stonewalled talks and contact deals because they KNOW we are all underpaid and want to WAIT US OUT until we are SO POOR we HAVE to make a deal.

So if you continue to see my post (and posts from others like me) saying “Hey, I’m still out for work, if you have some spare money I’d really appreciate it” - please consider helping us out.

We want to get back to work and they won’t let us without us selling away our souls.

Why don’t you want consumers to boycott, again? Kinda seems like we should.

Hi! Great question!

Here’s the answer:

Because the stuff you’re seeing release NOW? Movies, games, TV shows, etc?

Yeah, that was done by people. Real people. Who worked very hard to put that in front of you.

Boycotting, at the moment, only shows the execs that “okay, the people don’t want THIS CONTENT THAT WAS CREATED BY HUMANS! So we should double down on this AI, NFT, Blockchain shit!”

Any (major) content that is attempted to be made in full (or in major part) by AI or what have you, is far off.

As of now, the AI stuff you’ll see will mostly be used to do promotional stuff (see VO for movie trailers, which is already happening and easy for them to do).

Companies will use any excuse they can to “learn the wrong lesson” if it’ll save them money that they can immediately put into a CEO or board member’s pocket.

I understand. I really do, but knowing that these same human creators aren’t actually getting any of that money doesn’t sit well. At least, not for me.

This hurts my heart.

`

Do you think we ever did?

We never see any of that money anyway.

Do you think if a game or movie or TV show does well that we get paid more because it succeeded?

Because we never did.

If it hurts your heart to know we aren’t being treated well right now, it should hurt more to know we never get the benefits of anything we do that succeeds and only get the ramifications of if something fails.

The companies have always pocketed the profits and paid their laborers as little as possible.

So, again, if it hurts you to hear that… imagine how much it hurts US.

Which means you should listen to us when we say “This Is What You Should Do, As Fans, While We Are On Strike!”

If a time comes where we say “please boycott these projects/companies” then do so, but until then… please support our work to show that you care about what we do.

And if you see anyone, like me, asking for financial help to get us by until the strike is over? Donate what you can or share those posts asking for help.

whomst-am-i:

ghastmaskzombie:

flootzavut:

dykebluejay:

rahullkohli:

saw someone share this on their ig stories and i am obsessed

Stranger, if you didn’t already know Bugs Bunny is a trickster god, your tumblr experience is very different from mine.

GENDERFLUID ICON BUGS BUNNY

recoiloperated:

1961-bltzkr13gfrtz:

keepingitreluctant:

luwha:

wizardofgrace:

luwha:

Tumblr: No NSFW! You know how it is we banned it because of the bots in 2018!

Also tumblr:

lmao

You know how it is then, folks!

just report these “tumblr users” who do tumblr live for mature content, if you flag them enough they will do new regulations because staff is frankly annoyed by us.

Tumblr doesn’t actually do anything with live. It’s third party

charlesoberonn:

ardinwriter:

charlesoberonn:

charlesoberonn:

gropeable-boychest:

charlesoberonn:

charlesoberonn:

Middle-aged magical girl.

She’s been defending the Earth since the early 90s and she’s very tired.

My name is Tominaga Haruka. I was chosen by a magical talking animal, and for the last 29 years I’ve been Earth’s one and only… Wonder-Sparkle Princess.

she’s been fighting the same villains for three decades and they are also tired of it. Most of them aren’t giving it their all.
Half of them are in a groupchat they’ve added her to where they schedule their evil plans to make sure they don’t interfere with each other, or more importantly, with *her*

Xalkrax the space demon from outer space decided to attack the city when she was taking her vacation time once, and now he’s dead, because even the power of friendship and redemption can’t save you if you interrupt her rare vacations

Demon Queen Eluria: Gonna fill the city people’s hearts with hatred on thursday to cause mayhem and discord.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Can’t, got a PTA meeting.

Demon Queen Eluria: Friday?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: A birthday party.

Demon Queen Eluria: Damn. How about I fill just the mayor’s heart with hatred then?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: That’d be redundant, lol. Maybe fill his heart with a desire to fix the fucking potholes?!

Demon Queen Eluria: LMFAO love you, bitch. Stay strong.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: You too, gurl. How’s the husband? Still dead?

Demon Queen Eluria: Yep. Thanks for that, btw.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Don’t mess with my time off :p

Why are people tagging this ’#wonder sparkle princess’ like that’s a thing and not a name I made up exclusively for this post?

Congratulations on inventing a new tumblr deity!!

She isn’t 29 years old. She’s been a magical girl for 29 years. If she started at 14 (typical magical girl protagonist age) then she’d be 43.

ice-block:

ice-block:

Man made crystals are so cool it’s so sad everyone who likes rocks is out for blood if you post man made crystals. I love you opalite I love you lab created opal I love you bismuth I love you HTA citrine I love you goldstone

Post “fake” crystals hour

import–math–geek–math-rand:

faulty-radio:

import–math–geek–math-rand:

anton-exe:

coloredmesa:

affricative–collective:

trapny:

cannibalistic-cucumbette:

call-me-frosting-or-not-idc:

indecisivebitch3000:

n1c0d3mv5:

bitchybylershipper:

chaoscradle:

l0v3c0r3e:

sillylittlerock:

pansexualdisasterrr:

krakoansam:

willstragicapples:

very-strange-indeed:

elevenmayfieldz:

ultraluminarious:

thefallling:

photogenic-strawberry-deactivat:

queers-of-marybelltownship:

jacuzziwaters:

blackhole-that-is-life:

christs-cock-deactivated2023110:

free-my-boy-grumbot:

computer-boy:

itsmyturnonthegender:

niff-of-crows:

the-purple-duck:

george-the-pumpkin:

twofoursixohjuan:

absolutely-existing:

the-turtle-fan:

gayoticbeing:

live-and-learn:

accidentallyaverage:

colorful-craze:

gay-mooshrooms:

if-loki-was-a-fox-reblogs:

1wn8ure:

thinkingabout-girls:

1wn8ure:

aro-throughyourchest:

thinkingabout-girls:

thinking about that time in math class when the teacher was explaining what a vector is and some girl went “omg just like the guy from despicable me!!”

oh wow a party! let me invite some friends :D

@if-loki-was-a-fox-reblogs @local-meatlocker look a party! Shall we reblog this post so that everyone can know?

why do you hate me

new tag game! everyone invite your friends to sage’s party :D /silly

@gay-mooshrooms @rhyme-draws-stuff I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m down to help a friend torment a friend :)

Oh nice party, I brought cupcakes!

Come join the fun @colorful-craze @losergirlranboolive

Hey hey hey, guess who brought pretzels??

Come join us @accidentallyaverage @ticcywhaleshark @abucketofweird @alli0s

i brought skittles!!

come join the chaos!

@artisthedgehog @kayrielwrites @tzipor-feather-blog @nebulaofchaosandwoe @piney-45 @dinosaurguts @nerdybluehairandpronouns

I brought pop!

Partake in the revels, dear mutuals!

@yes-i-exist-shutup @alex-j-tics @gayoticbeing @transtyranid

I’ll brought some chocolate cupcakes!!

Reside in the chocolate glory, my comrades!

@literatureisdying @the-turtle-fan @wii-music-on-repeat and anyone else who wants to come :)

I brought some chocolate chip cookies!

@kurt-4lifer @august-taylors-version @readerboss @arson-appreciation-society-pres

I’ve got garlic bread and blueberry muffins (was worried that I didn’t bake enough muffins so I got some garlic bread to make up for it)

@mostlyonthefloor @twofoursixohjuan @writingandwritten @iheartmoons @sparkleturtle @definitelynotttheo @siriusly-kay

brought my record player and a few from the stash

@george-the-pumpkin @sunflowercandie @mostlyonthefloor

I brought the decorations, its a combination of pics of Vector from Despicable Me and vectors

@run-im-a-natural-disaster @the-nameless-wacky-inventor @lookineedsleep @the-purple-duck

I brought fun vector themed diy crafts!!

@mentally-unstable-fangirl @niff-of-crows @instantpansies @gingale @camlyee

i’ve got a life sized pope francis cutout totally not stolen from the church i used to go to

if you give me 50 bucks you can kiss him on the lips

@calechipconecrimes @disastrouslygay @aro-manita-muscaria @itsmyturnonthegender

I’m bringing chips


@the-mike-est-of-michaels @lemonbaloni

@sleepy-kitty-boy @themagiccelery

hey!!! i brought cinnamon rolls :3

@lukewarmhomie @multifandomsoup @wilbursoots-female-hysteria @reds-not-red @the-gayest-sky-kid

idk this person but i’m always down for some tormenting! i brought popcorn so we can all watch despicable me

@snail-clops @lmaonade404 @christs-cock @if-i-eated-soaps @evilautismwizard

i’m bringing out of date communion bread

@allegedly-human @dragonspleenistasty @a-really-hot-caterpillar @adhdsocialist @lillyislesbiab @rlydsntmttr @blackhole-that-is-life

I’m going to provide some cake and tophats :3

@getinlosersimcommittingarson @knickknacksenthusiast @churchyardishcharm @leieryx @wkxs @triangles-dont-do-art @astrowaffles @jacuzziwaters @h3xt0r

The fact that I got tagged for this twice.

Im gonna bring my speaker. You can never have too much music.

@tau9  @funkyfagboybreakdowns @justanotherdumbteenboy 

@kybercrimes @caniblist-clown @howmanyholesinswisscheese @onlovesbehalf

@flo-milli-shit-hoe @queers-of-marybelltownship

bringing twister!!! bc it causes sososo much chaos!!

inviting: @underlined-in-spirit @photogenic-strawberry @the-dolphin-queen @potatoesaaa

I’m bringing the bad decisions because a party is not a party until you regret it

Taggy timee!

@a-portal-to-nowhere @gayoticbeing @heckin-gremlin @pippin-pigeon @swiftieannah

Can’t believe 3 of my beloved mutuals had a party without me! (sarcastic)

Im like a wedding crasher but worse :)

Dont worry tho I brought expired dr. pepper! Extra spicy and good!

tagging some of my mutuals: @ammonti @consumerofbeans @waspsinyouryard @renegade4-13

i’m bringing a single gallon of milk. and my mutuals @discatded @elevenmayfieldz @blvd-sys @joe-bidens-big-naturals @zackbuildit

i am bringing a whole selection of homemade desserts (except one is cat food and you don’t know which one)

@elsbianism @weirdo09 @very-strange-indeed @mon-sher-liam @runninguplenorahills @elizabethaftonfanpage

I’ll make t-shirts for everyone at the party!

@edens-very-bored @dictionarydyke @dont-open-dead-inside-25 @14-cats-in-a-trenchcoat @bowlcutsforbyler

uhhh i have grapes :)

@thebirdinator3000 @runninguplenorahills @dead-immortal @spectrum-spectre @unrepentant-byler-shipper @bearnarrow @namenotfound0 and im propping the door open so anyone else can join the party that wasn’t explicitly invited hehe

I have some crisps (chips my American peeps 😊)

@aidyaiden, @willbyers-clizzy, @pansexualdisasterr and anyone else who wants in.

omg tysm for inviting me @unrepentant-byler-shipper and @toasterfroggy <333

i bought orange juice!!!! (couldnt think of anything else😭)

gonna invite @sillylittlerock @sillyygeese @the-queerness-is-real @hufflepuff-detective + anyone else that wants to come!

omg a party!!! tysm!! i have brought us all party hats :)

@rainypebble07 @starmanbyler @over-rated-cheese @l0v3c0r3e u can come too!!!!

lmaoo i love this

@chaoticbyler @butterflies-f0r-michael @buckieduckie2 @cluelessbees @eggo-owl @littldolli @verashalurks @mike-wheeler-hater

A party!! Thanks for the invite <3 I have brought cake!

@bitchybylershipper @robinthewise @unsurebisexualcore @elsbianism @xxcreamixx @verashalurks @microwaveonwheels

Woah I got invited to a party??? Yay!!! I’ll bring goldfish :)

@mathewisanally @veeislost @unsurebisexualcore @clover-honey-and-lemons @paladintoyourcleric @elsbianism

Yay a party! I’ll bring some popcorn ;)

@fantasticcollectorkitten @aledradio @geckothegremlin @indecisivebitch3000 +anyone who wants to come too!

woah a party?! I’ll bring some ice cream :)

@cassiopeiainthequeerroses @lemmingsunday @fantasticcollectorkitten @call-me-frosting-or-not-idc (and anyone else who wants to join!)

Oooo sounds fun in here! I’ll bring some crafts so we can make stuff:)

@lemmingsunday @cal-the-duende @cannibalistic-cucumber

I’M BRINGING SOUP

does anyone know where the french bread went?

@vulgarmaw @dead-immortal @aphroditesanxiety @ostrigjpg @rain-droplet @ragatas @eggyegbert @egyptianguard @empress-of-light2005 @empress-of-dark2005

I am bringing creatures ! ! ! !

🐈 🐀 🐕 🐇 🐢 🦐 🦀 🐌

@hkayakh @slonkel @official-megumin @kschwal-the-sardinianarchist @serious-tabaxi @alys-is-dumb-sometimes @quill-boots @hellstreak @gray-science @just-mushroom-thoughts and also everyone else that sees this

I’m bringing a guy

➾ oh no i don’t know any of ðese people i’m nervous what do i d

@coloredmesa @anton-exe @professionalchaoticdumbass @mitzo @official-megumin @human-south-of-north-pole @theauthor27 @blueengland

I have copious amounts of sour candies!

@m0use-brained @misterbrick42 @anton-exe @colored-1n

p r o n g l e

@acesinvadingdenmark @thatonemor @faulty-radio @acornmaybe I will at the rest of you later

I brought some trinkets

i hate parties (but i would so go to a party with you <3)

i’m bringing m&m’s (totally not because that’s what i’m eating rn)

i’m inviting all of my followers because you are all lovely

@tehhx @jamiejam23 @iilittlemoonlight @drakonyx121 @amisonist @catboybiologist @carawith17as @evranoen @princessdeskeden @mobsterplatypus @jarc-xenon @toastedpoptartsarelife @phroge777 @lucystellakitsune @thesaucemanstrikesback @swagtigerdeer @aroace-and-has-a-mace @acornmaybe @lukadjo @local-ebastard @mrfluffles300 @faulty-radio @daniel-nerd @thatonemor @ceclair @transgirlbellalulz @tinysweetvoid @thiery22 @acesinvadingdenmark @fiddlertoad @samsshittypoetry hey everyone I have a bunch of trinkets if you want and I brought my 3d printer so if you want I can make more

littleguysdaily:

BRUH HOW DID THAT ALL LEAK ALL BOARDED DAMNNN

chaifootsteps:

The brilliant minds at 4chan, and by brilliant minds I mean this.

shinolavolume1-deactivated20240:

i hate when bitches on twitter show off theor sketch books and its all pristine and none of the pages are like a shitty sketch taking up ¼th of the page and/or scribbles and nothing else

ebonshward:

saywhat-politics:

Let’s goooo

imnotverybright:

tortellini-time:

alaskannymph:

imnotverybright:

passenger princess? No, I’m the passenger knight. I’ve sworn an oath of homoerotic loyalty to the driver and will protect them until my last breath. I will carry out her road rage. I’m why the front passenger seat is called shotgun

Same. I’m gonna invest in this post

Trueeee

10k notes to me

HELLO???? I can SEE you guys, I’m RIGHT HERE

cherry-blossomtea:

BLÅHAJ?????