August 2023

nyancrimew:

punkitt-is-here:

punkitt-is-here:

and i count my blessings every day

i once got 69 USD from “twink”

nyancrimew:

spicyblogger2:

spicyblogger2:

spicyblogger2:

spicyblogger2:

spicyblogger2:

spicyblogger2:

My little sister’s new boyfriend got a tattoo for her about a month ago and he wanted matching tattoos so he decided to get uh. The tattoo on her ankle of her ex boyfriend’s name that she hasn’t gotten covered up yet

She broke up with him but I also just got the same tattoo

OK my dad also got it

DYLAN!

It took five months but we finally convinced my stepmom to also get it

My fucking manager got it

y'all do i get the dylan tattoo as my first ever tattoo?

justsomeguycore:

justsomeguycore:

justsomeguycore:

in honor of barbie movie, i dug my Midge ™ out of my parents’ shed so i could show you all just how she worked if you’ve never witnessed it in action

as you can see, Midge has a magnetic pregnancy belly that contours to her unpregnant body

now inside the pregnancy belly of course is the barbie baby. it comes right out, no vagina to exit through. and if you look closely you can see that her underwear is also painted across the bottom of the belly. there is no mistaking this for a woman with any genitalia. just underwear.

here is the baby within the belly. i don’t think either of these is the correct way a baby should sit in a uterus but do i look like a fucking doctor to you?

the clearly very happy mother and child. and discarded magnetic belly. with underwear band.

fin

unrelated but i also found my louis tomlinson doll

fuck it. pregnant louis tomlinson

wonkerbonker:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

iftadwascool:

biscuitstixx:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

biscuitstixx:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

vitaranae:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

the-doll-attachment:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

chaosprince07:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

usercindric:

thehistoryone:

foxy–stoat:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

sunnyside-up42:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

oregano-gremlin:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

rosenoes:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

yamzys:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

that-fanperson-meg:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

nightfallsystem-moved:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

sapphic-violence:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

idiotussupremus:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

jester-writing:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

faggotslimecicle:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

quantumized-insanity:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

snowfall-runewriter-deactivated:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

jamreblogs:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

shibu-is-doing-urmom:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

scrybe-of-the-gae:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

laughter-spite-rage-deactivated:

tweets-i-have-saved-on-my-phone:

listen here buddy

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"Getting dicked down for enrichment."

Ah yes, the dream.

:

There’s a phrase in finnish, “elää kuin Ellun kanat”, “to be living like Ellu’s chickens”. Nobody knows who this Ellu was or why it’s her chickens specifically, but it basically means living carefree with no responsibilities or worries about the future, without plans to do anything constructive or productive. So I guess that includes being fed, sheltered, and cared for by someone else, just getting to be stupid as hell, eating and sleeping and getting dicked down for enrichment.

Not gonna lie that does sound pretty great.

the-haiku-bot:

bogleech:

morbidlyqueerious:

darthlenaplant:

blinddarkness:

rlmjob:

welcome to my blog

the sign looks like it’s walking towards me i feel threatened

Like this?

actually what the christ

Don’t worry! Once it catches you it won’t have to be blank anymore

Don’t worry! Once it

catches you it won’t have to

be blank anymore

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

the-haiku-bot:

bogleech:

morbidlyqueerious:

darthlenaplant:

blinddarkness:

rlmjob:

welcome to my blog

the sign looks like it’s walking towards me i feel threatened

Like this?

actually what the christ

Don’t worry! Once it catches you it won’t have to be blank anymore

Don’t worry! Once it

catches you it won’t have to

be blank anymore

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

the-haiku-bot:

bogleech:

morbidlyqueerious:

darthlenaplant:

blinddarkness:

rlmjob:

welcome to my blog

the sign looks like it’s walking towards me i feel threatened

Like this?

actually what the christ

Don’t worry! Once it catches you it won’t have to be blank anymore

Don’t worry! Once it

catches you it won’t have to

be blank anymore

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

agnoll:

agnoll:

a screenshot of a wikipedia table of contents that reads: 
1 Early life
2 social media
2.1 tumblr callout (2014) 
2.2 tumblr callout (2015)
2.3 tumblr callout (2016)
2.4 tumblr callout (2017)
2.4.1 Official kin list
2.5 tumblr callout (2018)ALT

for everyone asking for what article this is i actually went back and found it again and you’ll never guess who it’s about

nyancrimew:

pinetreeanarchism:

bigpoppypuppy-deactivated202412:

definitely something that would be used to help people and not anything else

Every day scientists excitedly announce that they’ve created yet another new dystopian horror for us all for suffer from and yet somehow nobody ever shoots them for it.

i think we should teach drones how to hunt down questionable scientists

pangur-and-grim:

cars need to stop testing me. I have no problem with kicking a car. I love kicking a car. if you honk at me for walking too slowly across an intersection, I will kick your car. please instigate something because I have so much stress that could be relieved by kicking your car with my fragile meat legs

gryffindorweiwuxian:

snowqueenvictor:

curseworm:

curseworm:

im loving this article written by som mycologists who accidentally got high as fuck on fly agaric

here’s the article

this is absolute gold please click that link

i love scientists

jasontoddsreanimatedcorpse:

smoooothbrain:

do you ever think about how if you dive into the ocean and go deeper and deeper you will pass through layers of darker and darker blue until everything is black and cold and the pressure will be so intense that it will kill you without protection but if you keep going you will find little glowing specks of light, and if you go up into the sky and go higher and higher you will pass through layers of darker and darker blue until everything is black and cold and the pressure will be so intense that it will kill you without protection but if you keep going you will find little glowing specks of light

sometimes a post makes you get out of bed at 230am to spend a quick hour on something like this

submissiveblender:

renitheraven:

badass-art-tutorials:

forzamentis:

Fantastic hands references by the website Hong14cafe.

Hong14cafe: Facebook | Forum

Hand reference yessss!!

I thought these were weird CAPTCHAS

You must be able to make at least 3 of these hand poses to continue

thoodleoo:

man yall the interpersonal drama in ancient rome was something else like. there was a guy named crassus who had a pet eel and was so sad when it died that he gave it a funeral, and when another dude named domitius ahenobarbus made fun of him for throwing an eel funeral, crassus was like “oh so this is coming from the guy who’s buried three of his wives and not even shed a single tear about it.” wish i could’ve been in the room for that one

evilwizard:

the-faultofdaedalus:

the-faultofdaedalus:

magic system where “dark magic” and “light magic” are literal terms - dark magic consumes photons, making an area around the spell visibly darker, sometimes to an Extreme extent, and light magic releases photons.

because of this most dark mages tend to work in very brightly-lit areas (either artificial light or outside in the daytime) to fuel their spells and wear and use lightly coloured clothes and tools so that they’re easier to see in the dimness their spells create, whereas light mages wear heavy, sometimes leaden robes (depending on the work being done) and the magical equivalent of welding masks to protect themselves from what can be an extreme amount of light, and sometimes other kinds of electromagnet radiation!

needless to say this is incredibly confusing for anyone unfamiliar with the culture

due to the fact that both magics react with basically all of the electromagnetic spectrum - not just the visible light part of it - dark magic is enormously useful for radiation protection (uv-eating spellwork as sunscreen, anyone?), but also has the slightly uncomfortable effect of eating infared as well - which does have the effect of making areas around powerful or prolonged dark magic uncomfortably chilly.

nothing that a nice fur coat or enchanted light-magic IR-emitting lamps can’t fix!

okay this is some truly genius world-building

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

big fan of marriages of convenience. marry your best friend for tax benefits. marry your roommate for college tuition breaks. “marry” your love interest for plot-contrived reasons at a fake wedding, then accidentally fall in love & get married for real in the epilogue. so many possibilities!

#get married to further the joke#your commitment is not to each other but rather to the bit

tadaxii-i:

knuppitalism-with-ue:

one-time-i-dreamt:

I was being cancelled because apparently it was classist to put feathers on dinosaurs.

Both dream me and irl me were very confused.

it might have been a dream, but feathered dinosaurs being linked to an ideology isn’t that uncommon. Them being viewed as “leftist”, “woke” or “gay” has occured several times.

I collect these examples.

reblog if you like dinosaurs, are gay, or just really like feathers

tadaxii-i:

knuppitalism-with-ue:

one-time-i-dreamt:

I was being cancelled because apparently it was classist to put feathers on dinosaurs.

Both dream me and irl me were very confused.

it might have been a dream, but feathered dinosaurs being linked to an ideology isn’t that uncommon. Them being viewed as “leftist”, “woke” or “gay” has occured several times.

I collect these examples.

reblog if you like dinosaurs, are gay, or just really like feathers

the-haiku-bot:

doubledealer93:

cishetsbeingcishet:

i’ve been thinking about this video nonstop since the first time i saw it

the jaunty walk perfectly in time with the music. the tip of the hat the unaware or uncaring bystanders. the shaky camera with random zooming. the fact that this is seemingly happening in a park. this is peak media i can’t get over it

The necromancer when someone just had a death in the family.

The necromancer

when someone just had a death

in the family.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

the-haiku-bot:

gentlemanbones:

nineprotons:

nitewrighter:

You know that whole trope where like, the protagonists get teleported up into the aliens’ spaceship or base or whatever and the alien appears to them only it doesn’t appear as it really looks like but rather, since it doesn’t want to scare the protagonists, it takes the form of something we find familiar and pleasing and is like, “I look like your dad or whatever–is this form okay?” Like I think about that trope a lot and I think like, what if the alien couldn’t pick out a form via telepathy and only had earth media to try and decide what form would scare its human guests least and be accepted almost immediately and honestly the more I think about it the more options for what form that might be are just really fun to me.

“I have chosen the form of your earth playwright and composer Lin-Manuel Miranda–do not be afraid. I come in peace.”

“Greetings. I am Glofnorbo of the cloud you call the ‘Pegasus Nebula.’ I have scanned your earth media from afar and empirically decided that you would find the form of the one known as Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson most pleasing. I have come to confer with your leaders.” 

“Do not be panic. I come in peace. I have assumed the form of your insectoid demigoddess ‘Hatsune Miku’ so that we may communicate peacefully without my true form horrifying you.” 

“It was decided that I would assume the form of your ‘Mister Rogers’ in order to best welcome your world to the galactic neighborhood without frightening your kind.”

“…So did your colleague take on the form of Jack Black for that reason too?”

“No, that is the actual Jack Black. We do not know how to make him leave.”

“…So did your colleague

take on the form of Jack Black

for that reason too?”

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

the-haiku-bot:

t-counter:

perilouspage:

albertnatural:

imagining a guy with a beard entering a mosh pit and coming out completely clean shaven

another clean shaven guy enters the other side and exits wearing the first guy’s beard but slightly crooked

T Count: 14

Letter Count: 161

Your T Percentage: 8.70%

Average T Percentage: 9.45%

You used the letter T 0.92 times as much as average.

You used the letter

T 0.92 times

as much as average.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

masklayer:

myfinalmessagefatdudesequalshot:

myfinalmessagefatdudesequalshot:

escuerzoresucitado:

that is the most beautiful airfryer i have ever seen

found it! bruno smart air fryer in mint green BZK-KZ02TW-GR

Theirs a horse in the pingles

:

demilypyro:

demilypyro:

terfs be like i’m joining the fight against restrictive gender roles on the side of the restrictive gender roles

we did it patrick we saved the city

onetwothreemany:

FEMA is doing an emergency alert test on all TVs, radios, and cell phones on October 4, 2023, at approximately 2:20pm ET.

If you live in the US and you have a phone you need to keep secret for any reason, make sure that it is turned off at this time.

Yes, I’m doing this months in advance, and yes, my blog has very little reach, but I figure better to post about it more than less.

Please reblog and add better tags than mine, I’m bad at tags.

tio-trile:

Poor Pyramid Head can never take a decent selfie

(Follow-up comic here)

washimbembe:

sonypraystation:

eternal-fractal:

gaaytrox:

Vaporeon could probably do this in canon. Like several dex entries state they’re almost 100% water.

when you tell his spoiled ass no

Blobboreon

weezeryuri:

able bodied allies of disabled people when your disability genuinely has no secret upside and makes you useless to a late stage capitalist society

coldgoldlazarus:

sandersstudies:

sandersstudies:

sandersstudies:

sandersstudies:

Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!

Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It’s me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here’s the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.

Modern writing advice: Yes your protagonist should have flaws but ultimately we should root for them and like them from the beginning :)

Charles Dickens: Here is the worst ugliest rudest meanest nastiest bitch you’ve ever met in your life.

Modern writing advice: Make sure your POV character goes through a significant arc! Make sure they are changed by the narrative! Make sure they learn a lesson!

Narrators of every book of the 19th century: the lesson I learned is these people fucking suck, sayonara you freaks

Modern writing advice: It’s all about the character overcoming obstacles and learning! They learn their lesson so they can fix their mistakes and make good choices in the future! It’s a character arc! It’s called growth! Readers love it!

Everyone from ancient times through the 19th century: would you like to watch a Guy fuck up twenty times in a row

catchymemes:

fruity-phrog:

gay-jesus-probably:

libertarianblue:

r4cs0:

smstransformers:

coexiststickeronaglock:

andrew-yakson:

adaughterofhorror:

Great work everybody, hit the showers

brightlotusmoon:

“The fastest land mammal is a toddler running away with something it’s not supposed to have.”

valtsv:

squidy-y2k:

valtsv:

valtsv:

one of my girlfriends only tells the truth. my other girlfriend only tells lies.

and yes, they both smoke weed

and which one told you that?

amiru-shrubfeast:

silvercrane14:

They should invent a tumblr mutual that lives nearby

I am so fucking serious about this I want to meet my mutuals

triona-tribblescore:

itsnotillegalyet07:

adv3nturelust:

the-tired-tenor:

So uh….some dude apparently recreated Adobe Photoshop feature-for-feature, for FREE, and it runs in your browser.

Anyway, fuck Adobe, and enjoy!

Give credit to the 30-year-old who worked on this for free and offers this service for free!

WHAT?!

I study graphic design and my tutor recommended and used this in his classes at art college last year, it’s so good it has SO many features for free, I really recommend it, even if you’re just trying to learn the basics of PS, such a wonderful thing <3

alphabetta-soup:

Love this creature… the shramp…

alpaca-clouds:

Social Democracy is not Socialism

Nevermind me. Just me crying about people not understanding politics. Just let me rant, alright?

So, I was talking to a friend recently. A left wing, European friend. And then they said it: “I mean, at least we have not capitalism in Europe.” Und I was just standing there like: 😐

Upon prodding I found out that, yes, indeed, the believed that Social Democracy as we have it in most European countries is not in fact capitalism, but a form of socialism. And once again I was standing there like: 😐

Europe has capitalism. Europe is capitalist. While not as guilty of intervening in the politics of other countries to keep capitalism going as the US, Europe still did a lot of that. There is not a single socialist (let alone communist) country is Europe.

What we have is capitalism with the minimalist safeguards to keep capitalism doing the capitalism thing and literally and figurative KILLING PEOPLE. We have a few rules for capitalism to follow. We have a few things for people not to literally starve when they are jobless. But that’s it.

We absolutely still have capitalism.

Which is why we do not manage to go CO2 neutral and what not. Because capitalism cannot do capitalism and go CO2 neutral. Both things are mutual exclusive.

i-am-a-fish:

i-am-a-fish:

sukiluvvs:

i-am-a-fish:

my boobs hurt

do not worry. this is normal, they are growing

no. they are about to hatch

I’ll be real I don’t like the post either. I’m sorry for making it

capnfrankie:

catgirl-kaiju:

tentacion2099:

The Lincoln County, MO Drug Task Force arrested a pirate.

When arrested he begged to walk the plank, he decorated a pontoon to sell drugs from. Which he required customers to say, “Ahoy matey, I come to purchase ye party favors.”

His nickname was Red Beard.

KING SHIT FR

centers-for-disease-control:

fuckingradfems:

notsocolourblind:

hello-imaliveandwandwell:

hiroshimalated:

Please keep this circulating. Cops are getting more and more brazen, know your rights!

good to know

Reblogging every time this goes past

I had to learn my rights the hard way…read this, study it, memorize it, this is insanely valuable information.

Not CDC related but important info

This is who you need to blame when you make a typo.

krunchymunchy:

good morning shark sonas you know what today is?
its fiber optic friday!!! have yourself a well deserved snack 😊😊

catchymemes:

starridge:

depsidase:

the username and icon got me

boycritter:

is a hot dog a sandwich is a hot dog a taco why cant a hot dog just be a hot dog. why do we feel the need to categorize food based on other foods. cant they be their own thing. hot dogs dont need to conform to the arbitrary classifications of what a SANDWICH is. i feel so so strongly about this. cant we stop trying to sort a thing into either box a or box b when those boxes have no actual relevance to the classification of a hot dog.

sburbling:

paulfrankjuliusthemonkey:

anyway. onto better things

onto better things thursday

catchymemes:

animentality: