sanitymakesposts:

The worlds smallest snail has just started to go freak mode on a succulent apple slice

laughconfetti:

bowserwife:

As a general rule, don’t trust anyone who identifies as a “normal person”.

i trust him

alphabetcompletionist:

spunchthegoblin:

alphabetcompletionist:

spunchthegoblin:

kiwi b ird held so gen tle and sweet . wonderful .

AB DEFGHI KL NO RSTU W

17/26

i dont think this bird even knows the alphabet .

i will teach her

twinkboom1:

twinkboom1:

Proving a point to my boyfriend.

rain-droplet:

alpha-blu:

satanicblowjobs:

PLEASE REBLOG if you (male or female) believe it is perfectly okay and natural for a guy of any age to cry

I’ve never hit reblog faster or harder.

gender is beneath me but yes

dreamsy990:

every time i get into something with a silly detective who declares themself to be the worlds best my power grows

evengirlierballs:

They turned off reblogs the MICROSECOND I pressed reblog, so I need this on my blog IMMEDIATEDLY

ranidspace:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

thinesleuth:

vitariesocks:

my little kitty cat has started taking an inhaler

my guinea pig needed ointment a while back

Why didn’t they need ointment on Tuesday mornings

happy no ointment tueaday

meckamecha:

kuromi-hoemie:

meckamecha:

I got a laptop with Windows 11 for an IT course so I can get certified, and doing the first time device set-up for it made me want to commit unspeakable violence

Windows 11 should not exist, no one should use it for any reason, it puts ads in the file explorer and has made it so file searches are also web searches and this cannot be turned off except through registry editing. Whoever is responsible for those decisions should be killed, full stop.

Switch to linux, it’s free and it’s good.

u r absolutely right I have SO many complaints about Windows omg.

For anyone who’d like to follow along, I’m gonna share how to get around those things with group policies bc they’re more user friendly and descriptive than registry editor imo :3 I’ll also show how to get around needing a Microsoft account to get setup.

For the Device Setup

“OOBE” stands for Out Of Box Experience which is what that setup workflow is. But it also happens to be a folder with a little program in it that’ll let you skip connecting to the internet; this makes it so you don’t have to sign up with a Microsoft account and can just use a normal local one instead. And it already comes preinstalled! Here’s how you get to it:

1. Hold Shift + F10, or Shift + Fn + F10 depending on your keyboard.
2. Click inside the window that pops up, type the following and press enter afterwards to run it: OOBE\BypassNRO
3. I believe it should restart your computer automatically, but if not then restart your computer or type: shutdown /r /t 0 /f

Now when you’re brought back to the setup workflow, the page where you connect to the internet will have a new button on it that lets you say you don’t have internet. Clicking that and proceeding through the rest of the setup lets you get around the Microsoft account thing.

Group Policies

You don’t have to know much about them, these are just a bunch of specific settings for what your computer can or can’t do that lets you decide how it works in different ways.

I’m gonna show you how to turn off the recommendations and internet stuff basically. For now bring up search and type gpedit, pick this

It’ll open up to Local Group Policy Editor and we can get started :3c

Start Recommendations

In the side menu, go to User Configuration > Administrative Templates > Start Menu and Taskbar. Click on Settings to sort them with all the “Turn off” ones bumped to the top.

Here’s what you should set:

• Turn off user tracking: enabled
• Turn off feature advertisement balloon notifications: enabled
• Remove Recommended section from Start Menu: enabled
• Remove Personalized Website Recommendations from the Recommended section in the Start Menu: enabled
• Do not search Internet: enabled

Windows Spotlight

Back in the side menu, go down to Windows Components > Cloud Content

• Turn off all Windows spotlight features: enabled
• Do not use diagnostic data for tailored experiences: enabled

Cortana

In the side menu, this one’s back at the top under Computer Configuration. You’re gonna want to go to Computer Configuration > Administrative Templates > Windows Components > Search

• Allow Cortana: disabled
• Don’t search the web or display web results in Search: enabled

News and Interests

In the side menu go to Computer Configuration > Administrative Templates > Windows Components > News and interests.

• Enable news and interests on the taskbar: disabled

Microsoft Account Login Nudges

When you don’t use a Microsoft account they’ll nudge you repeatedly to sign in so you can “get the most out of your experience” *gag*. The group policy for turning that off has a note that suggests it might not work with Windows 11 though (implicitly), so you can close the group policy editor window now and for this last one let’s just open up the regular settings.

Go to System > Notifications > Additional settings, then uncheck all the boxes. And there ya go! (✿◠‿◠)ﾉ u are done.

Group policies are kind of a rabbit hole so while there is a lot more you could change or read into, for your own sanity’s sake I would advise against it and say call it a day lol

This is all extremely good information, thank you very much for the addition!

trapny:

Government agencies will be tasked to do the most basic things and then somehow fuck it up so bad that an entire orphanage explodes or something

Underfunding and dumb decisions by government higher ups who have no idea what they’re doing, will do that to you.

werechicken:

hestia-and-the-court:

writing-prompt-s:

There is a forbidden type of magic out there. It isn’t forbidden because it’s inherently evil, or forces you to lose your humanity, or requires human sacrifices - it’s just forbidden because it’s annoying as heck to fight against.

“Ma’am, I really must insist that you pay for the room and board I’ve been giving you! It’s been a week!”

“Fine, fine,” I grumble. “I have a few options for payment: I could give you paper money, cheap gaudy jewelry, chocolate coins, spiders, some pretty seashells-”

“Spiders????” he repeats, baffled.

“Spiders it is, then,” I agree equitably, and with a wave of my hand the bed I’ve been sleeping in for the last week turns into a writhing mass of various spiders.

Worth it.

—

“Stop right there! You’re under arrest for fraud, destruction of property, and-!”

I yawn. “Didn’t ask, don’t care.” A few gestures, and the guards’ swords are all transmuted into spiders, and then they’re too busy to worry about little ol’ me.

—

“You have insulted my honor and humiliated me in front of my children! I demand satisfaction! I demand a wizard’s duel!”

Shrugging, I say, “Sure, okay, whatever. Right here and now okay?”

The pompous wizard-noble blinks. “I- you don’t want to prepare? Get your wizard’s staff or anything?”

“Nah, I’m pretty good with somatic gestures.”

“Well, if you’re sure… here and now then! Have at you!” He slams his staff down on the ground dramatically, a small shockwave of fire radiating out from the impact.

So of course, I turn his staff into spiders.

“AHHHH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK”

“So if you’re too busy screaming to cast spells, does that mean I win?”

“AUGH ONE OF THEM BIT ME”

“I’m taking that as a yes.”

—

After that, they start coming at me in waves, with cheap wands and staves and swords and bows bought in bulk, hoping to exhaust my magical reserves so they can get close enough to put a magic inhibitor on me.

They did not expect my reserves to be as vast as they were, not did they expect me to be able to transmute the inhibitors themselves into spiders.

“Didn’t you take Magic Basics in wizard college?” I yell at the panicking mages. “Inhibitors aren’t immune to magic until the moment they activate! Serious weak point in the design, tell your magitechnicians to fix that!”

—

So of course they try assassins next.

Poison fails, because I transmute any food and drink I get into spiders and then transmute them back. Pretty easy way to get rid of poison.

So then they try knives in dark alleys. The knives bruise through my full-body spider-silk outfit, but do not penetrate, and they only get one shot before they have bigger problems.

Next is killing me in my sleep. None live to report back that the human-shaped lump under the blankets is actually a mass of highly venomous spiders.

The kingdom throws everything it has at me, and I continue to walk away, heralded by the chittering of spiders and the screams of everyone else.

—

Finally, I stand before the king himself in his overly opulent throne room, and by now he is a broken shell of a man in the face of my unorthodox tactics.

Good.

“What do you want?” he practically sobs. “You’ve singlehandedly redirected the entire crown’s budget for the next three years into replacing every weapon you’ve turned into spiders. Much more and we’ll be invaded by our neighbors! We wouldn’t be able to resist being annexed! So what can I give you to make you stop doing this?!”

I pause and pretend to consider, tapping a finger against my chin thoughtfully. “You know, you sent my brother off to war a few years back. That conflict with the Yughs up north, I believe. He didn’t want to go, so your guards forced him at spearpoint. I haven’t seen him since.”

He seizes on that, as I expected. “Yes, yes, I’ll have him returned right away! Tell me his name and I’ll honorably release him from duty and have him escorted safely home!”

“Oh?” I raise one sardonic eyebrow. “Are you able to bring back the dead now, oh wise and glorious king?”

He pales, and it’s the most satisfying thing I’ve seen in years.

“You have nothing I want,” I growl, letting the anger slip through for the first time in years. “You cannot bring him back, you cannot make up for my loss with all the riches in your kingdom. The only thing I want is to take everything from you, the way you did to me. Your kingdom will bleed out of resources, one of the neighboring countries you’ve been trying to conquer for decades now will take advantage and annex this place, and you will either be executed or forced to work for a living for the first time in your life.”

I glare at him, and he refuses to meet my eyes. “You will lose everything you ever cared about in your life. One spider at a time.”

I transmute his throne and crown into spiders (non-deadly; he doesn’t get to escape my wrath that easily), then turn and walk away, ignoring his screams and sobs.

—

And that’s why, when the Yughs finally annexed the kingdom I grew up in, they preemptively made Transarachnomancy a forbidden magical art. Not sure how they intend to enforce that, mind, but I’m not looking to challenge that. I’ve gotten what I wanted; if some other aspiring mage wants to try and follow in my footsteps, that’s not my problem.

Besides, in terms of magical skill, I’ve always been an outlier anyway. Most mages would be lucky to turn just one knife into a spider at a time; I can turn ten thousand with a few gestures. I doubt anyone will outdo my legacy.

But hey, if you want to try and surpass Georgia of the Spiders? Feel free. I’ll welcome the competition.

IM

catfindr:

808-bantar:

pnkrathian:

thousands have been slaughtered

catfindr:

radiofreederry:

caffeineecold:

when i was a kid i used to respond to the “glass half full/half empty” question by asking how the liquid in the glass got there in the first place. nobody ever gave me a chance to explain my reasoning so i’m doing it now

if you have a glass and it has some liquid in it, up to the halfway line, whether it is empty or full depends on what happened before the question was asked. if you started with a full glass and poured half out until only half remained, the glass is half empty, because if you continued pouring it would be fully empty. however, if you started with an empty glass and poured liquid from another container into the glass up to the halfway line, the glass is half full because if you continued pouring it would be all the way full. logical, no?

i was 13 years old when somebody finally told me it was supposed to be some kind of optimism/pessimism thing. i always thought it was a riddle that nobody let me solve

heavensickness:

This sure is a collection, but I am not sure what it is

rocket-pancham:

demilypyro:

Does the schrodinger’s box experiment account for the fact that a cat in a box is most likely gonna yowl its lungs out

sabertoothwalrus:

sabertoothwalrus:

whenever I sneeze fart I feel like a neutron star

maplebunie:

catsconstellation:

how i see this post

squeakitties:

squeakitties:

dwarves would be enthralled with midwestern casserole dishes

dwarves would go apeshit over tater tot and cream of mushroom soup hotdish

emetophoria:

emetophoria:

i knew life turned to shit when i stopped seeing the tuesday again? no problem dog every week

i hope your tuesday is fine

wizorbs:

ribstongrowback:

wizorbs:

imsobadatnicknames2:

imsobadatnicknames2:

“Waaah waaah you can’t choose your alignment in Baldur’s Gate 3 😭” you can choose how your character acts can’t you

Even if you consider D&D’s two-axis alignment system an idea that’s actually worth mechanically codifying and not a thing that has done irreparable damage to D&D-adjacent tabletop roleplaying and character analysis in fandom with its mere existence, why would you want it implemented in the idiotic way most D&D videogames do it where it’s an arbitrary label you choose at the start of the game regardless of how you actually end up playing that character.

unfriendly reminder that very few alterations have been made to the way DnD handles and thinks about alignment since its creation by known sexist, racist piece of shit gary gygax

earhartsease:

shapeshifter911:

But wait…

If Elon is changing the name, logo, moderation policies and basically everything that made Twitter the bird app that it was…

Then couldn’t someone buy back the name, duplicate Twitter and we can leave the sad billionnaire with the X obssession alone?

the shit of theseus

sleevesareforlosers:

you get into bed with a guy you just met and you notice a hole in his sheets and mattress and he goes ‘oh yeah by the way sometimes when i have a bad dream i unsheath my bed knife and stab the pillow in my sleep’ and chuckles a bit shyly and you go okay because now you have more questions than you started with but he also has his hand between your legs so you take your chances and when youre pillowtalking afterwards you ask if maybe you can sleep on the side of the mattress that doesnt have a stab mark and he laughs like youre crazy because 'what if theres an intruder you dont know where i keep my bed knife’ which just from the name seems pretty self explanatory and also you saw it when he was pulling at the sheets earlier but anyway you nod and shrug to yourself because its too late to take a bus and you splurged on a fancy iced coffee yesterday so you cant afford an uber and you really carefully arrange yourself so your face neck and chest aren’t near the (very deep) stab hole and it takes a bit but you do fall asleep only to get woken up by him tossing and turning and whimpering almost like hes having a bad dream and you start calculating your odds of wrestling a knife away from this guy versus just throwing yourself out of bed and maybe waking up the roommate he mentioned didnt like having overnight guests but then you notice hes struggling with the sheath like really just can not get the snap open and its a little funny a little sad so you take pity on the poor guy and unsnap the sheath and he pulls the knife out and plunges it into the pillow where your head just was and the blade slips into the handle and you realise its only a prop knife and it startles you so much you laugh and wake him up and he blinks up at you so blearily when you ask how he ripped a hole through the mattress if his bed knife is a prop knife and slurs 'thats from when i want to fuck the mattress’

weirdgrrlgerard:

i have nothing to say for this. i just couldn’t stop thinking about it

systlin:

flamingbluepanda:

systlin:

systlin:

But seriously, when we got our property, it was all just…grass. A sterile grass moonscape, like a billion other yards. With two big old maple trees. Just grass and maples, that was it. 

But then I got my grubby little paws on it, and I immediately stopped fertilizing, spraying, and bagging up grass clippings and leaves. I ripped up sod and put in flowers and vegetables. I put down nice thick blankets of mulch around the flowers and vegetables. 

When I first was sweating my way through stripping sod, I saw a grand total of 1 worm and 0 ladybugs. The ground was compacted into something that would bend shovel blades. 

Now, six years later, I can’t dig a planting hole without turning up fourteen earthworms, and there are so many ladybugs here. Not the invasive asian lady beetles; native ladybugs. They winter over in the mulch and in the brush pile. I see thousands of them. 

The soil is soft and rich. There are birds that come to eat, and bees of many sorts.

Like this is something that you, yourself, can absolutely change. This is something that you, personally, can make a difference in.

Like, last year I watched no fewer than twenty-nine monarch caterpillars grow up on my milkweed and fly away as butterflies. I watched swallowtails and moths grow. There are hummingbirds fighting over flowers now.

I did that. Me. You can do the same.

Is this post about making a garden or beating depression

As someone with clinically diagnosed anxiety and depression;

Yes.

witchsfists:

0kkvlt:

spiderworries:

spiderworries:

spiderworries:

meatmobile:

halfricanloveyou:

kaijuno:

that looks like a condom and the fact that everyone in the notes is saying “the orb” proves that no one on this website fucks

the fuck kinda bouncy-ball ass condoms are you using

the fact that someone thinks that looks like a condom is proof that no one on this website fucks

ok y’all it’s LITERALLY taken from the “wizard pondering his orb” image

it’s an orb. 

ok not to beat a dead horse but i found the ORIGINAL image and it’s cover art from a lotr themed ttrpg.

so

No it isn’t that’s from 1993 you fucking poseur, it’s from A SPY IN ISENGARD published in 1988 I’m SICK and TIRED of you people getting it WRONG

5 reblog additions later and this post is still best summarized by “no one on this website fucks”

Suriels Marble.

witchsfists:

0kkvlt:

spiderworries:

spiderworries:

spiderworries:

meatmobile:

halfricanloveyou:

kaijuno:

that looks like a condom and the fact that everyone in the notes is saying “the orb” proves that no one on this website fucks

the fuck kinda bouncy-ball ass condoms are you using

the fact that someone thinks that looks like a condom is proof that no one on this website fucks

ok y’all it’s LITERALLY taken from the “wizard pondering his orb” image

it’s an orb. 

ok not to beat a dead horse but i found the ORIGINAL image and it’s cover art from a lotr themed ttrpg.

so

No it isn’t that’s from 1993 you fucking poseur, it’s from A SPY IN ISENGARD published in 1988 I’m SICK and TIRED of you people getting it WRONG

5 reblog additions later and this post is still best summarized by “no one on this website fucks”

drakeevanhall:

guerrillatech:

Oh please please please please please let this aesthetic become widely known as incel design.

athena-cat-wizard-official:

creepymutelilbugger:

just some of the pharaoh’s curses I’ve collected during my travels through the ancient deserts

CURSE OF RA 𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖 𓀗 𓀘 𓀙 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓀞 𓀟 𓀠 𓀡 𓀢 𓀣 𓀤 𓀥 𓀦 𓀧 𓀨 𓀩

zeloznog:

wrecxks:

mossworm:

This is Dendrocephalus proeliator, the rare fairy shrimp that I co-discovered in 2019. This is a mature male in a ¼ teaspoon. They are found only in certain soils in central Florida and they refuse to hatch unless they have their special soil chemistry intact

I hope you don’t mind I doodled your fairy shrimp?

finleycannotdraw:

duckdotcom:

would you put a discarded fruit sticker on my forehead in whimsical jest yes or no

reblog to put a discarded fruit sticker on the forehead of the person you reblogged from in whimsical jest

slipstreamborne:

cipheramnesia:

mpekamitzii:

pepsinister:

tw: broken frontal bone
tw: broken left parietal bone
tw: broken right parietal bone
tw: broken left temporal bone
tw: broken right temporal bone
tw: broken occipital bone
tw: broken sphenoid bone
tw: broken ethmoid bone
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tw: broken left maxilla
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tw: broken left palantine bone
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tw: broken left nasal bone
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tw: broken left lacrimal bone
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tw: broken left malleus
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tw: broken left stapes
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tw: broken left clavicle
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tw: broken sternum
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tw: broken right rib 5
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tw: broken cerivcal vertebra 1
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tw: broken lumbar vertebra 1
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tw: broken sacrum
tw: broken coccyx
tw: broken left humerus
tw: broken right humerus
tw: broken left radius
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tw: broken left ulna
tw: broken right ulna
tw: broken left scaphoid bone
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tw: broken left lunate bone
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tw: broken left triquetral bone
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tw: broken left pisiform bone

tw: broken right pisiform bone
tw: broken left trapezium
tw: broken right trapezium
tw: broken left trapezoid bone
tw: broken right trapezoid bone
tw: broken left capitate bone
tw: broken right capitate bone
tw: broken left hamate bone
tw: broken right hamate bone
tw: broken left metacarpal 1 bone
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tw: broken right metacarpal 1 bone
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tw: broken right metacarpal 4 bone
tw: broken right metacarpal 5 bone
tw: broken left proximal phalanx 1
tw: broken left proximal phalanx 2
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tw: broken left proximal phalanx 4
tw: broken left proximal phalanx 5
tw: broken right proximal phalanx 1
tw: broken right proximal phalanx 2
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tw: broken right proximal phalanx 5
tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 5
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tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 5
tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 2
tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 3
tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 4
tw: broken left distal phalanx 1
tw: broken left distal phalanx 2
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tw: broken right distal phalanx 1
tw: broken right distal phalanx 2
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tw: broken right distal phalanx 5
tw: broken left innominate bone
tw: broken right innominate bone
tw: broken left femur
tw: broken right femur

tw: broken left patella
tw: broken right patella
tw: broken left tibia
tw: broken right tibia
tw: broken left fibula
tw: broken right fibula
tw: broken left calcaneus
tw: broken right calcaneus
tw: broken left talus
tw: broken right talus
tw: broken left navicular bone
tw: broken right navicular bone
tw: broken left medial cuneiform bone
tw: broken right medial cuneiform bone
tw: broken left intermediate cuneiform bone
tw: broken right intermediate cuneiform bone
tw: broken left lateral cuneiform bone
tw: broken right lateral cuneiform bone
tw: broken left cuboid bone
tw: broken right cuboid bone
tw: broken left metatarsal 1 bone
tw: broken left metatarsal 2 bone
tw: broken left metatarsal 3 bone
tw: broken left metatarsal 4 bone
tw: broken left metatarsal 5 bone
tw: broken right metatarsal 1 bone
tw: broken right metatarsal 2 bone
tw: broken right metatarsal 3 bone
tw: broken right metatarsal 4 bone
tw: broken right metatarsal 5 bone
tw: broken left proximal phalanx 1
tw: broken left proximal phalanx 2
tw: broken left proximal phalanx 3
tw: broken left proximal phalanx 4
tw: broken left proximal phalanx 5
tw: broken right proximal phalanx 1
tw: broken right proximal phalanx 2
tw: broken right proximal phalanx 3
tw: broken right proximal phalanx 4
tw: broken right proximal phalanx 5
tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 1
tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 2
tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 3
tw: broken left intermediate phalanx 4
tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 1
tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 2
tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 3
tw: broken right intermediate phalanx 4
tw: broken left distal phalanx 1
tw: broken left distal phalanx 2
tw: broken left distal phalanx 3
tw: broken left distal phalanx 4
tw: broken left distal phalanx 5
tw: broken right distal phalanx 1
tw: broken right distal phalanx 2
tw: broken right distal phalanx 3
tw: broken right distal phalanx 4
tw: broken right distal phalanx 5

tw: bruising

Keep reading

Op you’re not looking very well

Doing lines of OP off my cellphone screen in the restroom.

As an anthropologist let me tell you this post would pull serious numbers at the forensic conferences.

zoestorm:

hyenaswine:

hyenaswine:

we passed a sign in boring that said their sister city is dull, scotland

oh there’s a third! bland, new south wales!

I’m sorry but I just have to appreciate the wordplay on that last sign. It’s brilliant.

yo-its-matt:

oneheadtoanother:

it sure fucking is buddy

quietus-system:

sera-moving-time-deactivated202:

Whoever you are, I like you

Schrödinger’s cat

foone:

tumblr should add the ability to do slider-polls. Instead of a set of individual discrete options, you give two endpoints and people answer along a scale, and they’re averaged together to some slider position.

Something like this:

queer-as-city-folk:

So I found this, I don’t know what to do with it, but it will certainly go in the FOX post. FOX News says Biden let the hurricane hilary into the country

magentasnail:

served my duty as an autistic artist and made a bunch of autism creature reaction images

runcibility:

moringmark:

I liked this post, scrolled for like another minute before I went “SHIT FUCK SHIT” and scrolled back to reblog it