Social media is not private, emails are not private, internet searches are not private, your text messages are not private.
“I use a VPN!” Your ISP can see when you initially connect to a VPN. The VPN company will comply with a subpoena.
“My socials don’t have my real name!” What about the email to register that social? What about your wifi provider? They provide the IP address from which you’re frequently logging in. Don’t they have your information?
Your cell carrier will comply with a subpoena.
You ISP will comply with a subpoena.
So will Google, Apple, Yahoo, Meta, Tumblr, Twitter, you name it. None of them will fight the government on behalf of a random person they don’t care about.
This is why fighting for online privacy laws, real actual privacy laws, is so important. It’s why using services with end-to-end encryption is so important. It’s why if you don’t want any chance of law enforcement to know about something, you cannot post about it online in any way.
The messages we recieved growing up about being very careful about what you post online wasn’t fear mongering. They just picked a different villain.
something i never hear mentioned about cursed monkey’s paws is that when the final finger curls up, you are then left with an angry monkey fist that proceeds to beat you to death
the last finger is the middle finger and curls devilishly slowly
the last finger is
the middle finger and curls
devilishly slowly
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
We’re on a new platform with a totally different audience…we have to prove ourselves all over again…convince a totally new group of people to think we’re funny and worth your attention….so allow me to drop some of my “A” material….the funniest thing I got…….here goes…….
I just went on a rant about plungers, how’s your day going?
“go off bestie”? Okay, I will.
This is a plunger.
Classic red cup with a wooden stick. We all know it, love it, and have seen a cartoon character using it to unclog a toilet. Right?
WRONG.
The image above is actually a drain plunger, used on sinks, showers, and baths. Not on toilets.
These are a toilet plungers.
Take note of the variations. Each of them have a flange of sorts at the bottom, either connected via a cup or more accordion-like tube. These are designed to actually get down into the toilet bowl where it flushes down, giving it more space and leverage to unclog blockages. See the example below:
Notice how the flange allows it to go deeper into the toilet to provide more power to the plunge. Sink/drain plungers are far less efficient and effective at the task.
Sink plungers can also have an accordion shape to help with power in plunging, but crucially do not have or need the flange that toilet plungers do.
To recap: cup plungers are for sinks, showers, bathtubs, and other drains. Flange and accordion plungers are for toilets. Notably, accordion plungers are slightly harder to use, but are more powerful when used correctly than their flange counterparts.
So the next time you see a cartoon, video game, or stock art depicting a cup plunger being used on a toilet, you can feel the same levels of anger and emotion that I do!
why does this have nearly 100 notes
Because with this level of passion, containment is futile 
The real question is why does this not have a million notes? This is information that will very likely, at some point, be incredibly useful to anyone who has indoor plumbing. Which is, you know, probably, 99.99% of this website’s user base. (I’m sure there’s someone out there using Tumblr who lives in a house built in 1850 which never got upgraded and they still have an outhouse rather than toilet.)
Twelve i swear to fucking god that this post had like. 3k last week . what happened
As you demand. Hello this is boobs inspector and after closely inspecting an ENORMOUS amount of art related to your GREAT persona I with IMMENSE confidence can congratulate you on successfuly passing the inspection.
Wait, I'm getting some glances from PR department.. what? Questions? I must ask a question?
Uhh uhhmmm
Oh! What's the name of that idle game you playing lately? Sorry I'm always distracted and can't remember it
Can someone please explain to me what evaporated milk is? Wouldn’t that just be gas by definition? I live in constant fear
no no it’s what left behind after the milk has been evaporated cuz only the water goes, not the other stuff
THERE’S WATER IN MILK?
WHAT DID YOU THINK THE LIQUID WAS?
IDK ISNT MILK ITS OWN LIQUID?
NO
IT’S MILK-STUFF MIXED WITH WATER
MILK STUFF? DOESNT IT JUST COME FROM THE COW’S TIT?
ITS LIKE TIT JUICE, THERE IS WATER IN JUICE AND THERE IS WATER IN MILK
It’s fat droplets suspended in water, with some nutrients and soforth dissolved in it. You know, like ranch dressing.
Evaporated milk is just dehydrated milk.
Obsessed with the user who assumed milk was its own element on the periodic table
As op I felt like I had to make this
Milk, the forbidden 119th element
the only question left is if it’s a metal, non-metal, or metalloid.
OP seems to have classified it as a special case of halfnium, reclassified as a lanthanide. This has fascinating implications for electron orbital geometry.
Anyway it’s a rare earth metal apparently.
Yes I definitely classified it intentionally and knew exactly what I was doing when I put it with the lanthanides because I am never wrong
MILK IS A RARE EARTH METAL
I thought so, I took one look at your classification and immediately thought “this is definitely someone with a deep understanding of how the periodic table works”
I’m glad that we have reached a consensus on the expected elemental properties of milk
That would involve writing a crash course in how suborbitals work on a post about whether water (the primary ingredient in milk) is in milk and even for tumblr that’s going a bit far
no, it is absolutely not going too far
You guys always complain that you don’t get to learn stuff in normal ways and then you come asking for this
MILK IS SEVERAL COMPOUNDS PLEASE YALL ARE KILLING ME OVER HERE
We have a container of dry milk because in addition to a little fat and sugars, it contains proteins, which settle into the pores of nitrocellulose membranes, making sure analytical proteins (specific antibodies) don’t get trapped. We could just use casein (one of the proteins in milk), but milk is much cheaper and can also be found at Walmart.
No milk is a lanthanide keep up
lanthanide?
I think you mean lactanide
I will put lego in all of your shoes
A cube of milk with 3 inches of edge length can blow up the galaxy.
Our galaxy is actually the result of such an explosion, that’s why we call it the Milky Way
this is a unique sort of thread in which you’ll find two types of people exclusively: nerds and dumbasses
Enter OCEAN EYES and NOT DEAD YET, two of the king’s most quarrelsome stablehands.
OCEAN May one explain what powdered milk doth be? Is it not gas? I live in constant fear.
NOT DEAD The water flees to air, the rest is left. The dry debris then forms the powdered milk.
OCEAN Thou sayest water doth reside in milk?
NOT DEAD Pray tell what thou believ’st the liquid is?
OCEAN Is milk not one pure substance in itself?
NOT DEAD No; ‘tis only milk-stuff mixed with water.
OCEAN Yet milk appears from living cows’ own tits!
NOT DEAD ‘Tis juice from tits, yet water still it holds. If water be in juice, then ‘tis in milk.
Enter DERIN, the scarlet pescatarian.
DERIN ‘Tis drops of fat afloat in water, As if ‘twas dressing for thy greens. With water gone, the powdered milk remains.
A NOTE attached to an arrow, written by BURNING BRAND, flies through the window.
BURNING BRAND’S NOTE Obsessed with he who foolishly believ’d That milk is element of chemistry.
The NOTE crumbles to ash. BURNING BRAND is not seen again.
OCEAN As he who instigated such a fight, I felt that this creation was my duty.
OCEAN unrolls a scroll of parchment with a flourish.
OCEAN Behold, ‘tis milk, one hundred and nineteen.
Enter JASON FUNDER BERKER, a frog.
JASON FUNDER BERKER And yet the burning question still remains: ‘Tis metal, not, or somewhere in between?
JASON FUNDER BERKER does not wait to hear the answer, and exits.
DERIN A lanthinide! A special case, I see. How fascinating, geometrically. But let us leave atomic musings be. For milk is a rare metal of our Earth.
OCEAN Of course it is, for I am always right. My choices are, of course, deliberate.
DERIN I do not doubt thou speakest truth, my lord Thy brilliant mind is utterly unmatch’d. It seems that an agreement has been reach’d.
OCEAN Of course; however, in sincerity I wish to know thy scholar-driven thoughts.
DERIN I fear ‘twould be beyond thy comprehension. To teach to thee would take this much too far.
Exit OCEAN, in a huff. Enter JESIN, BOOP BOOP, FLIPOCRITE, VELVET, and LOVELY DREAMS, curious onlookers attracted to the scene.
JESIN Do teach us, it would not take this too far!
DERIN Ye all complain of learning strangely, Then ask me baiting questions such as this!
BOOP BOOP Thy gross ineptitude shall be my death! Milk is formed of small component parts. The fat, the sugars, proteins all combine They seep through pores of membranes in this drink Unpleasant compounds all are filter’d out. All this obtained for small amounts of coin.
DERIN No, milk is lanthanide, pray keep the pace.
FLIPOCRITE The word thou mean’st is lactanide, I think.
DERIN May sharpened pain-shaped stones fill up thy shoes So that thou never know’st a moment’s peace.
VELVET A cube of milk, three inches on each side Could blow up the entire galaxy.
DERIN Our galaxy was formed in such a fashion. ‘Tis why we gave it name of “Milky Way.”
LOVELY DREAMS Thus ends our entertainment for the night Here fools and pompous scholars come to fight.
Exuent, pursued by a cow.
(Shakespearean adaptation format inspired by @mortimermcmirestinks in this post)
Youpeople have no right to be this funny on my dash so early in the morning
This is one of those threads that would go perfectly as a video set to “in the hall of the mountain king” and we all know it, I’m just not gonna be the one to make it
LGBTQ+ youth: what would your ✨LGBTQ+ utopia✨ look like?
Queer youth ages 13-24 can submit your visual art, photography, poetry, short essays/stories and more NOW through September 15, and they might end up in QUEERBOOK 2024: a powerful collection of queer youth voices capturing your thoughts, feelings, and hopes during this year.
(Y'know, like a yearbook…but make it queer!)
Creators of selected pieces will be compensated for their work AND receive a free copy of the published book. Queerbook 2024 will also be sold in our shop at itgetsbetter.org and free copies will be distributed to select schools/GSA clubs throughout the U.S.!
Submit your piece now and read all submission guidelines (including word counts, dimensions, number of submissions, etc) here!
Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.
BURN BAGEL BURN
OH WHY NOT?
I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.
Bagel what are your powers
FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterday’s night “just for fun and because I don’t want any bagel to be mad with me”, and today’s afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.
THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD
I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD
So Arizona launched an “education hotline” that allows “concerned parents” to report “””critical race theory””” and other things like ~gender identity~ being taught in the classroom
It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education
and for the love of god, don’t just spam it with memes or le funny shrek jokes or whatever, they’ll just hang up
make plausible-sounding reports for things that don’t actually exist, so that they actually have to waste time/resources investigating false leads - the goal is to waste time they would otherwise be using to do their jobs, not to get tumblr clout for being an epic troll
So apparently the internet article said the superintendent wouldn’t be deterred by the prank calls because they would ‘taper off eventually’. It’d be a real shame if this post stayed in circulation via queues so they get a consistent list of prank calls to filter through. 😇
That would be horrible, hopefully nobody does that by putting a reblog of this post into their queue /sar
And DEFINITELY don’t call them and say weird stuff, DEFINITELY /sar
a tragedy really /sar
Major tragedy. Please don’t call them and say weird things! /sar
Yeah guys don’t do that /sar
🥺
👉👈
yeah definetely dont have your queue full of this one post so it posts once a day for the rest of the year and into the next.
Toys back then: Play with this cool action figure who has an accessory made of lead! (Uranium hat sold separately)
Toys now: SUMMON Oogly Boogly by using the NONTOXIC RED MARKER INK YOU GET FROM BREAKING OPEN A SHEEP SHAPED CONTAINER & say the MAGIC WORDS to make a PLUSHIE appear!!! And as a neat bonus, you get a plastic scroll to write in NONTOXIC BLOOD with that ALSO ACTS AS A CHECKLIST SO YOU CAN GUVE US MORE MONEEYYYYYYYY
Also here’s a bunch of legal text at the bottom of the commercial so you can’t sue us lol
I rolled a “the sense of painful hope that comes with giving up on a hopeless dream”, is that enough to beat the orc’s “the existential loneliness that comes with realizing that you can never see the world from another’s perspective”?
take some time to notice your vision. see how easily you detect motion. focus on something in your peripheral (without moving your eyes to it). see how it works. look at your hands. pick something up with your fingers. appreciate how ridiculously specialized they are in fine motor skills (even if your personal motor skills are lackluster). think about how you have a body built to be an apex predator through use of tools. think about how the brain of your kind has created a digital hivemind uniting the whole world. now look back at the screen. look at the tab where you are in an argument about cartoons on tumblr. close the tab. open a new tab. google “tribute to anomalocaris”. watch the video that comes up. leave a like. subscribe even though the channel has been inactive for 8 years. you will need it in the coming times
no one is going to be doing this and even if they were literally who cares. Ouhhh noooo, someone gets 3-5 days off a month aaughh how scaryyyy. Society will collapse aaarrrghhhh.
Do you know how often I call in sick from my retail job just because the vibes weren’t aligned that day? Who cares.
If you get bothered by someone who you believe is taking advantage of an accommodation who doesn’t need it perhaps you yourself need it. Ie: you’re mad that smokers get a ton of ten minute breaks just cause they smoke. Maybe you need a ton of ten minute breaks
“Should trans women be allowed to compete in women’s sports” I don’t think there should be women’s sports. I think it’s a silly artificial construction that only upholds the gender binary while it’s benefits are incidental and would be better addressed directly.
Care about giving people with different body types and muscle mass a shot? Split your league by weight categories like boxing, or some other direct physical measurement. Gender is at best a poor proxy for these and we only do it because we still treat women are a different species. “But that still wouldn’t be fully fair to everyone?” Sport isn’t fully fair, it’s about rewarding people with the most biological advantage. That’s the whole point of it.
You want to give more sporting opportunity to women and minorities specifically? Okay then do that. Create your own opportunities league, but if we’re giving up the pretense that it’s about essential biological advantage then you better let trans women in.
What’s that, the extra league would be treated as a novelty afterthought and would lack the prestige of the real main event? You mean like how women’s events were treated when they were introduced? True! In fact women’s leagues are still largely treated as secondary now, and you know how we can fix it? Make the main leagues open to everyone with weight, height or muscle mass categories so that people with different body types can excel. Like I suggested before. Problem solved.
Women’s sport is bad actually.
Can’t wait for the terfs to find this and be like “mask off!!! The TRAs want to abolish women’s sport!” Yeah lol die mad about it. You may be happy with your condescending secondary leagues but not me. Open up sport categories based on attributes that actually matter to the sport, not binarist fiction.
If you are convinced that all woman would still universally lose to all men even when correcting for things like gross muscle mass difference, then you’re a misogynist by the way.
Katie Ledecky is a better swimmer than Michael Phelps but he’s still the more famous athlete because the mens events are more high profile, more covered by the media. he gets the sponsorships and the money.
if we could abolish sport division by sex, Ledecky would kick his ass.
When you were just a kid, your father left the house to go get your birthday cake, only to never come back. Ten years later, you leave to go buy yourself a cake, only to see your father, wearing fantasy armor and covered in scars, was about to knock on your door.
take some time to notice your vision. see how easily you detect motion. focus on something in your peripheral (without moving your eyes to it). see how it works. look at your hands. pick something up with your fingers. appreciate how ridiculously specialized they are in fine motor skills (even if your personal motor skills are lackluster). think about how you have a body built to be an apex predator through use of tools. think about how the brain of your kind has created a digital hivemind uniting the whole world. now look back at the screen. look at the tab where you are in an argument about cartoons on tumblr. close the tab. open a new tab. google “tribute to anomalocaris”. watch the video that comes up. leave a like. subscribe even though the channel has been inactive for 8 years. you will need it in the coming times
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